Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

A/N: Okay this fic is extremely angst, later on it'll probably be more 'sweet'. I really hope you enjoy it. Review and tell me what you think, if you read it please review it matters so much to me that i know what my readers are thinking and what they want. Hell i'll even take constructive critisism!. Anways on with the fic.

Are you really that lonely?

Naruto's POV

I let the tears run down my tan face.

I was so sick of keeping up this charade, trying to please everyone not even

putting any effort to please myself.

I gave everyone all my love.

I would do anything for them they should realize that by now.

Yet it seemed the more love I gave it seemed as if I got hurt even more.

The smile, the constant happiness it was all just a mask I put on every day.

Can't they see I don't have anything else to give?

They drained me leaving me with nothing in return.

My vision blurred by my tears I picked up the only picture I own.

The picture of Sasuke, Sakura, Kakashi and myself.

I treasured it so much I had put it in a glass frame.

Angrily I thre it across the room delighting the sound of the glass shattering.

Wiping the tears off my face with the back of my hand I walked over to the

closest glass shard plunging it deeply into my left wrist, making sure it hit the

veins.

Ever so slowly did I drag the glass, smirking as my skin ripped open.

Enjoying the physical pain so much more than the emotional and mental.

My blue eyes were fasinated upon my bleeding arm.

I watched in utter awe as the blood gushed out of the wound I just created.

Feeling slightly dizzy a few minuets later from loss of blood I cleaned the

blood off my skin and wrapped my left arm up in bandages, making sure to

include my hand as well in order to avoid any questioning stares or any

confrontation.

Not that it didn't already happen everyday.

Tearing my eyes off my arm I looked into the mirror, only to see an

emotionless boy staring back at me, his blue eyes revealing nothing.

I walked out of my apartment walking to the training grounds where Kakashi

had instructed us to meet him at.

Sasuke's POV '

She is so annoying' I mentally hissed as Sakura kept talking my ears off.

"I wonder why dobe isn't here yet." I wondered suddenly aware of the blonde's absence.

Sakura stopped talking and looked around for a minuet.

' What the hell is she doing?' I thought

"It's not like Naruto to be late." She spat.

' Hadn't I just said he wasn't here and what does she care anyways?'

It was eeriely peaceful and I hated every second of it.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura exclaimed "You're on time!"

"I guess I am." Kakashi smiled at her. Then looked around "Where's Naruto?"

I looked at the silver haired jounin.

"We have no clue. I thought the two of you would've ran into each other."

"I haven't seen him." he looked in the direction of Naruto's house, "Maybe he overslept, I'll give him ten minuets to arrive here if he's a no show I'll just continue today's lesson without him."

Ten minuets later

"Where the hell is he!" I hissed angrily I looked at Sakura she was shook up for some reason, looking in the direction where her eyes remained glued I frowned.

"Naruto where the hell have you been!" I demanded

He just looked at me not saying one word.

'What the hell!' I thought "What is..."

All of the sudden I felt my body flying through the air only to smash into a tree. I glared at the blonde.

"WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM!" I yelled " WHY DID YOU FUCKING ATTACK ME FOR NO GOD DAMN REASON!"

He didn't reply he just kept his lifeless blue eyes fixed upon me as he began to make ninjustu symbols with his hands.

It was then that I noticed his bandaged arm, fresh blood seeping through. "What happened to your arm?" I asked concerned

"Why the fuck would you care?" He spat as I became surrounded by thousands of his dopplegangers.

Angry at the blonde's sudden assualt upon me I threw my kunai, strinking him, not one of his dopplegangers.

He gave me a look of disbelief before he passed out.

"What the hell was that about?" I asked my teacher.

The older man looked at me his visable brow furrowed in deep concentration.

"The only thing that seems to make sense is that Naruto believes noone cares for him. He probably thinks no one will ever love him." the silver haired ninja picked the blonde up. "I'm taking him to the hospital you can visit him whenever you'd like."

I just nodded as our teacher disappeared.

'Did Naruto honestly believed no one loved him? Couldn't he see that I love him?' Without me realizing it I had started walking in the direction of the hospital, my heart ached so much to see the one I love in so much turmoil.

' I would give everything up just to hold you in my arms, to make love to you. You own my heart Naruto and everytime I see your beautiful face I seem to fall in love all over again. Just please don't hide anything from me, I will do everything that I can to ease your pain. I want to know why you became so cold all of the sudden. I want to know what happened to your arm. I just love you so much it hurts. Why are you the only one who can't see how much I love you?'

Kakashi's POV

"He attacked Uchiha Sasuke for no reason." I explained to the Hokage

"He came to the terrain where we usually train completely void of any emotions."

"That's because he feels no one cares about him Kakashi." Tsunade answered softly as she unwrapped the bandage from the unconscience blonde's arm revealing a lond and wide gouge.

"Is that self inflicted?" I questioned

She nodded and ran her fingers through the blonde's locks.

"But why would he attack Sasuke? The Uchiha loves him! It's obvious he does!" I asked not liking to see my student in this condition

"Sometimes we are so blinded by our anger that we can not see the one we love is right in front of our face." she replied softly

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Naruto's POV

Was it that I was sick of Sasuke's pity that I attacked him?

Was it because I hated him always being one step ahead of me?

Or was it that I was terrified he would hate me when he found out how I truly felt about him?

Seeing the look of disbelief upon Sakura and Kakashi's face as I lashed out at Sasuke truly hurt.

When Sasuke threw his kunai at me I prayed it would pierce my heart to end all this pain.

I just want it to end, this agony is killing me.

3rd person POV

"Will he be okay?" Sasuke asked the nurse as he looked at his hospitalized comrade.

"His wounds are already healed, there should be no reason for him to still be in this coma." she replied

"Then why hasn't he woke up yet?" Sakura whispered softly as she walked over to the blonde's side gently stroking his cheek.

The nurse smiled sadly as she saw Sakura's act of compassion for Naruto.

"The doctor believes the coma is self influenced. There must be some reason he doesn't want to wake up." Kakashi remained quiet taking all the information in.

He hated seeing his student like this and to make matters worse, Iruka was a nervous wreck.

Constantly worrying about the blonde's health.

He looked at the Uchiha heir, a sad look in his visably eye.

The boy hadn't left the kitsune's side.

The prodigy held the trouble maker's hand, his thumb caressing the soft tan skin under his fingertips.

Trying to comfort, and coax his love to open his bright blue eyes.

"Naruto come back to us." Sakura sobbed.

Tears rolling down her pretty face.

"We all miss you, please come back to us."

Sasuke looked at the girl amazed at her words and her sudden show of emotions toward their team mate.

He hadn't realized how much she cared for Naruto.

"Listen to Sakura, Naruto" Sasuke whispered gently "Everyone misses you, no one hates you. In fact they look up to you." swallowing back a sob "You inspire everyone to be the best they can." closing his eyes together tightly to avoid tears, "do you... do you remember your dream to become hokage?" he choked out. "How can you accomplish such a dream lying in a hospital bed?"

Kakashi looked at his students, he walked over to the blonde's side as well. He pulled the blanket down, and lifted the teens shirt up a little bit, exposing the seal, which had now spread to cover the boy's whole abdomen. "Fight the kyuubi Naruto," he spoke in a gentle voice "I believe in you."

"Nh..Kakashi-sensei?" a soft mumble came.

Those bright blue eyes opened and looked at those around him.

"How long have I been out?" he asked "A couple of weeks." Kakashi answered " Are you feeling any better?"

Naruto nodded his head and looked at Sakura, giving her a small smile to let her know that he was okay.

She smiled warmly back at him. Naruto looked at Sasuke, he gave him a nod of thanks as well as a small smile.

"I'm glad you came back to me." Sasuke whispered as he pulled Naruto into a tight embrace.

Naruto felt the heat rush to his face, as he realized he was in Sasuke's arms. Something he wanted for a long time.

He couldn't help but truly smile as he embraced Sasuke just as tightly

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Sasuke's POV

I wanted nothing more than to hold him in my arms.

"We're leaving, watch over him." Kakashi stated breaking the silence.

I watched as the silver haired jounin walked to the door, Sakura trailing behind him.

I exhaled as the door shut, their footsteps exiting this wing of the hospital. Looking down at the man in my arms brought a warm smile to my face.

I had never told him how I truly felt about him.

I felt a single tear roll down the side of my face.

I wanted to tell him so bad.

"Eh? Sasuke what's wrong" "Nothing." I replied.

I turned to gaze out the window focusing my thoughts elsewhere, until a soft

hand gently cupped my face, forcing me to look at him.

"Don't lie, tell me what's bothering you." Naruto whispered gently

"What makes you think something is wrong Dobe" I sneered

"You were crying." he sighed " Why"

Slowly I raised my hand to my face where the blondes hand remained.

Gently I removed his hand from my face, placing it in his lap.

He looked at me confusion shining brightly in his eyes.

"I was upset because the one I love, will never love me." I whispered

" How do you know that, that she doesn't love you as much as you love

her" Naruto asked

I turned from him refusing to look him in the eyes.

"I'm in love with a man."

"That's nothing to be ashamed about Sasuke...love knows no gender." he assured me gently I looked over at him, only to be slammed onto the floor.

I closed my eyes and brought my hands to the back of my head.

'Fuck.. that hurt like hell.' I cursed to myself 'What the hell threw me onto the floor?'

Curiously I opened my eyes, quite amused to who would have enough

courage to throw me onto the floor.

What I saw was two beautiful blue eyes staring down at me.

"W-what are you.." I started until he placed a finger on my lips, silencing me.

"I too love a man." He purred as he replaced his finger with his lips.

I was shocked. Never in a million years did I expect Naruto to be kissing me.

"AHEM" a male voice interrupted "Couldn't you two wait until you get home for that"

Naruto jumped off me and looked nervously at our visitor.

"It.. it wasn't what you think Iruka-sensei." he stammered, pink tinting his cheeks.

"Ah. So i was imagining you sticking your tongue down Sasuke's throat."

Iruka taunted.

I pushed myelf to my feet, not daring to look at either of them. I knew for a

fact I was blushing.

" Why're you here Iruka-sensei" Naruto demanded

"The hospital has released you from their care. Your free to go home now...

or in your case your free to go to Sasuke's house now." the chounin smirked

Naruto's eyes widened and a bright shade of red covered his face.

"WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT YOU...YOU PERVERT" Naruto yelled.

I sighed grabbing Naruto's things.

"Are you ready to go" I asked

"SO YOU CAN MOLEST ME SOME MORE" he exclaimed

"You wish.. dobe." I spat as I threw his things at him, before walking out of the hospital room.

Listening to Naruto's rants and raves as he stomped behind me.

I just rolled my eyes ignoring him reassure himself about NOT being attracted to me.

"Idiot." I muttered

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME SASUKE"

Kakashi smiled as he watched the two rivals argue.

'It looks like everything is back to normal' He thought.

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3rd person POV

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME" Naruto yelled

Sasuke ignored the blonde's persistant rants.

Shoving his hands in his pants pockets he sighed.

"Why'd you attack me" he asked

The silence greeted the older boys ears, he looked at his comrade wondering what the younger boy was thinking only to see his azure eyes shamefully looking at the asphalt.

"I... I was just so livid about how you have everything anyone could possibly wish for right in front of your face yet you brush it off like it's nothing to you. It's like your so blinded by your anger that you can't see that Sakura loves you." Naruto whispered "So I attacked you in hopes that it would knock some sense into your thick skull."

" I know Sakura likes me and I ignore her for a reason.

I get aggravated with her and all the other girls swooning over me.

I also get sick and tired of everyone expecting so much out of me.

I can't even relax.

To them i'm the last Uchiha, the one to restore my clan, all I want is to kill Itachi, then maybe I will be able to have some peace." Sasuke explained.

Naruto turned away from the prodigy a look of disgust written clearly over his face.

Without saying another word he began to walk away from his rival.

"Where are you going dobe" Sasuke shouted

Ebony eyes widened in shock when the blonde haired shinobi whirled around glaring at him.

His azure eyes now blood red.

Red chakara whirled around his body.

Pulling out a kunai ready to protect himself, his eyes widened in disbelief when he noticed Naruto was no longer ahead of him.

Grunting he closed his eyes and snapped them open, the sharagin activated.. he was prepared for any attack now.

"Where's he at" he growled

He gasped as a warm tongue flicked across the shell of his ear.

"What's wrong Sasuke" Naruto breathed hotly in the taller boy's ear.

"Wha..What are you doing" Sasuke stammered

Naruto just smirked as he walked in front of the pale skinned male.

"Isn't this what you wanted" he asked as he stepped forward only to have Sasuke take a step backward.

Sasuke forced himself to look in Naruto's eyes.

As much as he fantasized about the smaller boy he never expected it to be this way.

Right now he wanted to run, with every step his crush took toward him he took a step back.

Until he felt the tree's hard bark penatrate through his shirt.

Naruto smirked as he advanced upon the terrified teen.

Grabbing the older male's wrists tightly he crushed his body against his victims.

He crushed his lips against sasuke's as he casually slipped his knee in

between the older boy's legs.

Rubbing it against the prodigy's hardening arousal.

He smirked when he heard a soft moan escape his partner's lips.

this is where the lemon should be

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Buzzzzzzzzzzz...

Naruto groaned as he grabbed a pillow covering his head trying to drown out the buzzing alarm clock.

Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

' Maybe if I ingore the damn thing it'll stop pestering me'

Buzzzzzzzzzzzzz... Buzzzzzzzzzzzz...Buzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"THAT'S IT!" Naruto shouted as he threw the pillow off his head, followed by the comforter.

grabbing the annoying alarm clock he yanked it out of the electrical outlit, only to chunk it out one of his open windows.

"Now.. where was I?" he mumbled as he curled back in his bed

Pulling the comforter up to his chin, and rested his head on one of the feather pillows.

Closing his eyes he let himself drift into a peaceful slumber.

(star)(star)(star)

Sakura smiled when she noticed Sasuke walking,no it was more like limping toward her.

"Good morning Sasuke!" she chirped cheerfully

"Hn."

"Is there something wrong?" she asked

He looked at her suddenly confused by her question.

"No, what would make you think something was wrong with me?"

"I thought maybe you were hurt, 'cause your limping."

'I'm limping because Naruto fucked my brains out last night'

"It's just a twisted ankle, nothing to worry about." he answered

"I wonder where Naruto is?" Sakura wondered outloud as she scanned the area for the rambunctus blonde haired teen.

'Probably sleeping, so he can save his energy to ravage me tonight'

"The dobe probably forgot to set his alarm clock."

"Yeah, you're probably right." she sighed.

The pink haired kunoichi walked over to a tree stump.

Brushing it off with her hand she sat down. Her green eyes staring off into the distance.

"Sasuke?" she whispered

"What?"

"Do you...do you like me?" she stammered

Sasuke blinked at the girl's back, slightly taken back by her question.

" As a friend." he replied

A soft sigh of disappointment filled the air between them.

"So you're not attracted to me?" her voice trembled

"What's with all these questions?" he demanded

"Just answer me question" she pleaded "Please i need to know."

"...of course i'm attracted to you who wouldn't be?"

"I sure the hell ain't." a deep voice spat

Sasuke looked over his shoulder, his eyes wide in shock and disbelief.

"Naruto... how long have you been standing there?" he asked shakily.

Naruto just walked past Sasuke, various emotions written on his face.

"Long enough." he hissed, his voice filled with venom.

Sakura had turned around also when she heard Naruto's interruption.

"No one asked you what you thought!" she exclaimed

" Ah, but neither of you knew i was standing there either." Naruto taunted " Man you two must be really into each other."

"Quit it dobe." Sasuke said in an unamused tone.

" Have you forgotten what happened last night already you bastard?" Naruto snarled visciously.

"Huh? What's he talking about Sasuke? What happened last night?" Sakura asked confused

Sasuke looked at Naruto his facial expression remained indifferent yet fear flashed brightly in his ebony eyes.

"Nothing happened Sakura, don't worry." He responded in a bitter tone.

Naruto just scoffed and sent the older teen a look of disbelief mixed with regret, and agony.

"Yes, Sakura don't mind me." Naruto spoke with his voice in a detatched sympathetic tone.

" After all it was a mistake on my behalf to actually believe i was loved."

he turned away from his two team mates and began to walk away

" I hope you two will give each other unconditional love and happiness"

Sasuke watched as Naruto's retreating form faded more with each step he took.

'What have I done?'

(star)(star)(star)

Tsunade was startled awake when the door to her office slammed shut.

She was prepared to give the person responsible for disturbing her sleep a lecture, until she saw her successor standing before her shaking uncontorllably as tears ran down his tan face.

"Naruto?" she whispered "What's wrong?"

" It hurts Baa-san" Naruto whimpered as he embraced the hokage in a tight embrace

"It hurts so bad, i want it to go away.."

Tsunade wrapped her arms around the energetic blonde, gently rocking back in forth hoping to soothe the teen's spirits.

"Shhh..." she cooed gently "tell me what it is you need to make the pain go away and i'll do what i can."

Naruto looked up at her, forcing a small smile on his face when he noticed the concern and love shining brightly in her honey brown eyes.

"I need to get away, I think it'll be best if i accompanied ero-sennin for a few years. Perhaps if i were to leave the village the pain will vanish... maybe if i train hard enough i'll be able to forget." Naruto explained, suddenly feeling tired and worn out.

Tsunade sighed and smiled warmly at the boy in her arms.

"I'll let you go, under one condition."

"What's that baa-san?"

"Promise me you'll return to Konoha, prepared to take your rightful place as hokage. Take the jounin exam in one of the other villages you visit, and come back home... can you promise me that?" she asked Naruto smiled at her.

"Of course! I promise I'll come back and knock you out of your position as Hokage, Baa-san!"

"I believe you." Naruto smiled at her as he let go of her.

He walked toward the window giving her one last warm smile before he jumped out of the window, rushing to his apartment, gathering clean clothes, and other neccesities.

Tsunade looked out the window a look of sorrow upon her beautiful face.

"Take care of him Jiraiya." she whispered. a couple of days later

(Star)(Star)(Star)

"Where is that dobe!" Sasuke demanded

Sakura looked at him and sighed, to tell the truth she was also wondering where Naruto was.

It wasn't like him to miss training two days in a row.

"Kakashi-sensei said he was going to ask the hokage, but do you think we should check his house? Maybe he's shut himself in his room or something." she suggested

"Fine." Sasuke replied "Let's go then."

(Star)(Star)(Star)

"Why would he leave?" Kakashi asked

Tsunade just shrugged.

"When he came to me he was crying uncontrollably." she sighed and looked at the silver haired jounin

"I made him promise me that while he was away that he'd take the jounin exam, whenever it was offered,to pass it and come back here, ready to take his place as hokage."

"The next jounin exam is in 5 years." Kakashi stated

"He's going to be 18 when he comes back." (A/N: naruto is 13 right now.)

"Kakashi.." Tsunade began "You didn't see him... you didn't see how hurt he is. He needs that time to heal, and yet there is almost no guarentee that he will heal during that time, he may indeed need to take more time to soothe his wounds."

Kakashi sighed and looked at the woman.

"Well you seem to trust him in what he's doing and it's not like he's alone, after all Jiraiya is with him." a small pause "Is he going to become a missing nin?"

"Only if he leaves Jiraiya's company and decides not to return to Konoha." she looked at Kakashi a look of sorrow on her face

"and if that happens, then whoever hurt him must've done one hell of a job for him to not want to see them ever again."

"Let's hope he'll come back to Konoha to fulfill his dream of becoming Hokage." Kakashi uttered with fake happiness.

"Yes, and until that time comes we must continue our own lives."

"Agreed... so, should i tell Sasuke and Sakura he was sent away on a mission?"

Tsunada flinched at the mention of the prodigy's name.

"If you wish to do so... however i get the faintest feeling that Sasuke is behind Naruto's sudden unhappiness and will to leave."

(Star)(Star)(Star)

Sasuke knocked on the blonde's apartment door, once again growing impatient with not recieveing an answer.

"Dobe answer the door before i bust it in!" he yelled

Only silence greeted both teens ears, Sasuke growled in frustration, startling Sakura.

"Sasuke, do you think he's still mad about yesterday?" she asked

"I don't think so, he can't stay mad at anyone for very long." Sasuke answered as he kicked the door, causing it to fly open.

Both the teen walked into the apartment, surprised to find it spotless.

"I'm going to check his bedroom, you check the bathroom." Sasuke ordered.

Sakura nodded and walked toward the bathroom as sasuke walked into the blonde's bedroom.

"Hey dobe." Sasuke greeted as he walked in the room, shocked to find it empty.

Curiousity getting the best of him he opened the blonde's closet to find nothing in it.

"Shit." he exclaimed

"What is it Sasuke!" Sakura yelled from the bathroom

"He... left" Sakura ran into the bedroom, shocked to see the empty closet.

"Why'd he leave?" she whispered

"A-HEM." a deep male voice spoke announcing his presence.

"The question is what give you two the right to break into your comrad's apartment?"

Sakura turned around to look at the man standing in the door way, while Sasuke stood facing the closet wondering whether he was imagining this or if the passionate blonde truly did leave.

"Kakashi-sensei" Sakura cried "Naruto's gone!"

"I know this." he retorted "he was sent away on a mission and won't be back for quite some time."

"That's bullshit... he left... he's running away" Sasuke spat

"Then answer this question Sasuke, what is he running from... or rather whom is he running from?" Kakashi asked in a cold unforgiving voice.

Sasuke looked at his teacher shocked for a second, then he roughly pushed past the older man.

Mixed emotions overwhelming him, the prodigy walked the streets of konoha wondering if Naruto truly had a mission or if he actually left because of the harsh words they exchanged the other morning.

' I'll never forget that night Naruto. I'll never forget how passionate you were when we made love...'

Five years later

Jiraiya looked at the man walking beside him, the corner of his lips curled up when he looked at his pupil.

Naruto was no longer the rambunctous blonde everyone he had been as a child.

He mellowed out over the years, defeating every opponent he faced with ease.

Which would explain why he succeeded in the jounin exam.

Yet the blonde seemed oblivious to the females who looked at him, batting

their eyelashes, using their sexual advances to try to win the blonde over,

however the blonde never paid any attention to them. He even had men

undressing him with their lust filled gazes, and in return those men got a look full of hate and disgust.

If anyone said the 18 year old was ugly, they'd be lying through their teeth.

He was anything but ugly.

In fact he looked identical to the fourth hokage.

The long blonde unruly hair that spiked in every which way, almond shaped baby blue eyes, soft tan skin.

He was just about 6 feet tall, and even though he had a lithe build, you could see his muscles ripple underneath the jounin uniform.

The whiskers on his cheeks had gotten slightly darker, making him look all the more exotic and desirable.

"Are you ready to go back to Konoha?" Jiraiya asked

" Might as well, I promised Baa-san that i'd return after i became a jounin. I can't break my promise to the old hag now can i?" Naruto retorted sharply.

"Excited much?" Jiraiya said sarcastically Naruto just raised a blonde eyebrow at the older man's sarcasm.

"Well we're here... finally" Jiraiya chirped happily ( A/N: OOC, i know)

Naruto just sighed as he walked through the Konoha gates, Jiraiya right behind him.

"Hey handsome what's your name?" a female voice asked

Naruto looked at the owner of the voice, with an eyebrow raised in question.

She had short pink hair, and radiant emerald green eyes.

He blinked and started laughing.

"Hey what's so funny!" she demanded

" Do you have any idea who the hell i am?" he chuckled

The pink haired kunoichi looked at him confused

"I don't believe so." she answered

"Come on Naruto, we can't keep Tsunade waiting." Jiraiya announced oblivious to the conversation.

Naruto didn't say one word.

Instead he walked toward the hokage's office.

Sakura blinked a couple of times before she fully registered what had happened.

"NARUTO!" she screamed As he past the two anbu posted outside the hokage's office, he smiled when he heard sakura yell his name.

'She'll be kicking herself in the ass for quite some time for coming on to me.'

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Author's notes: Yeah i'm back and i crammed the original 5 chapters into one huge chapter... thought it'd be better that way! I also left out the lemon sighs I got reported and my whole Hatake-Kakashi86 account was deleted. So now if you wish to read the lemon i'll post a link for it totally seperate, and i promise you'll be able to read the lemon...the link will be located in my profile, OK? well i hope i get some reviews to tell me what ya think!