Thirty Seconds
The girl before us popped her gum lazily. She was an ugly woman, probably in her mid-twenties, the epitome of ugly girl nerds: huge pussy pimples, overweight, her lank brown hair greasy and unstyled, her glasses as thick as the bottom of a coke bottle and – of course – facial hair. She sniffed, her beady eyes measuring us.
"You can only have it on one condition."
Beside me, Steve straightened, becoming serious and business-like.
"And that condition would be?"
She popped her gum again.
A wolfish smile.
"You have to kiss me."
Steve and I exchanged glances. I could have sworn he was going green at the thought.
"Er…" He said, turning back to her and thinking of a tactful way out of the situation. "How about no?"
I snickered.
She sent me a glare, then sniffed loudly. It was a wet sniff. It made my lunch roll in my stomach.
"Fine," she said, popping her gum and stepping back. "No sale."
"No, wait!" Steve cried, stepping forward. She rose one huge caterpillar eyebrow, and he grinned sheepishly. "Isn't there anything… else I can do?"
Pop.
That was really getting on my nerves.
Slowly, she turned her piggy little eyes towards me.
I could see her brain ticking away.
"No…" I began to say, just as the fatty corners of her eyes crinkled.
She pointed a chubby finger at me.
"You have to kiss him."
I blanched.
"No way!" I cried. In vain.
Her smile spread as Steve looked from her to me, measuring the situation.
"Just kiss him?" He asked.
"Tongue as well. For thirty seconds."
Steve looked at me. I was shaking me head as vigorously as I could, backing up into the glass door of the shop. He grinned.
"Oh, come on, Darren," he said cheerfully. "It won't be that bad."
"Bu -"
I never finished that sentence. His hands snaked forward, latching onto my wrist, and, in a blink of the eye, he had dragged me forward and pushed his lips against mine.
I was too stunned too move, or even shut my eyes for that matter. I stared, wide-eyed, at Steve. He was looking straight back at me, his grey eyes smiling.
One, two, three, four…Behind the counter, the girl squealed piggishly, clapping her fat hands together like a child.
…eight, nine, ten, eleven…
I felt something push through my lips, something warm and moist – Steve's tongue.
A muffled cry.
I clamped my teeth shut.
Steve frowned slightly.
…seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty…
The tongue worked. It pushed.
And somehow, it crept through my defences and began to explore my mouth.
I gasped.
He pushed his mouth harder onto mine.
I could feel a line of drool spill from the corner of my mouth.
GetoffgetoffgetoffgetoffthisistoodisgustinggetoffgetoffGETOFF!A slight, sharp pain – my lip.
Taste the salty, coppery taste of – blood.
Was he pressing so hard that my lip was bleeding?
…twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty…
The count was over.
His mouth was still pressed against mine.
I pushed against him. He was still looking at me, his grey gaze penetrating.
I felt so…
Dirty.
Squeeze my eyes shut.
Then, with all my might, I shoved Steve off.
He stepped back, grinning, and wiped his mouth as I turned around, spitting and spluttering.
Behind the counter, the girl was snorting.
"There you go," Steve said cheerfully, straightening his shirt and placing a large sum of notes onto the counter. "Now, the prize, if you would be so kind as to hand it over."
The girl smiled.
Pop.
I wanted to run over and throttle her.
Reaching under the counter, she pulled out the prize and slid it towards Steve. He smiled, and gently, picked it up.
"Yes," he said softly, then turned towards me, smiling brilliantly. He held up his prize. "Hellblazer, first edition! I've wanted this forever!"
Then. Almost skipping, he ran from the comic store.
All I could do was splutter and stare.
"You looked like you enjoyed that," the girl said.
I glared at her.
She smiled back.
Pop.
A/N Random randomness inspired by my lovely bisexual and desperate friend Jeremy. He's so horny. The poor little sod. Hehe. He's blonde haired and blue eyed. If he were more of a pretty boy than he is now, he'd make a good Kurda… sighs wistfully