Title: A Training Exercise

Author: Aelan Greenleaf

Rating: G

Category: Humour

Summary: Mckay meets his greatest challenge yet: children.

He felt the sun's rays warm him slowly but surely, as his body relaxed and calmed in the ambiance of the beautiful day. His muscles released themselves, as his back let all of it's tension go into the ground beneath. The grass felt so comforting and soft beneath his head as he...

Grass?

Suddenly Rodney McKay's eyes snapped open, and he took in his surroundings with surprise. The blue sky was above him, and he propped himself up onto his elbows to get a better look. He saw only a flash of a grassy meadow before an intense pain in his ankle erupted and he fell back down to the ground with a yelp.

He closed his eyes for a moment, and grimaced. Try as he might, he couldn't remember where he was, let alone how he had got there. As he lay on the soft terrain and pondered on what to do next, he heard the thumps of footsteps approach. Groaning, he opened his eyes and was blinded by the harsh rays of the sun. Two shapes floated into his blurred vision, and as his sight cleared, formed into two children.

"Mickey?" one of them asked, reaching down to shake him. "Wake up, Mickey!"

"Uuugh." He replied, his vocal cords not quite functioning properly.

They pulled the scientist up to a sitting position, as he remembered how exactly he had gotten himself into this situation.

"You want me to baby-sit them."

"I wouldn't put it that way."

"Then how else would you describe me driving two children around in a puddle-jumper?"

Elizabeth sighed. "Rodney, you're the one that's been going on about how you want to practice your skills at flying a puddle-jumper. Think of it as a training exercise."

"With two children."

"You know as well as I do that the Rabisians have a ZPM, and are actually willing to trade for it. All we need to do is give the ambassador's children a ride back to their planet. We need that ZPM, Dr. McKay."

"I know that, Elizabeth, but... children?"

Dr. Weir grinned. "They have a nanny, Rodney. You won't have to deal with the very frightening children. Besides, now you can add puddle-jumper pilot and babysitter to your résumé."

He sighed. "Just what I've always wanted."

"Where are we, Mickey?"

Rodney shook himself out of his thoughts, and turned his attention back to his miniscule companions. The girl was older than her brother, he remembered that much. But as for names, he was only drawing a blank.

"Mickey!" yelled the boy, very close to the scientist's ear.

"What!" he exclaimed, as turned to the young child, annoyed.

"You didn't answer me." He replied softly, his blue eyes staring into McKay's brown ones.

"Where are we?" asked the girl softly, playing with the grass at her feet.

"I'm not sure. I don't exactly remember what happened."

"It was the Wraiths." whispered the boy, grabbing onto McKay's arm and searching the meadow around them with his eyes, fearful of an attack.

"Oh, right. It's all coming back to me now." Rodney remarked, as the memories flooded through his mind. He remembered coming through the gate, as he set the co-ordinates for the Rabisian home world into the jumper's controls. Suddenly, there had been a flash, and the next thing he knew he had been making an emergency landing down onto another planet. He had managed to destroy the enemy vessel, but their small jumper had taken too many hits to be able to keep flying. The last thing he recalled was telling Amya, the nanny, to strap in and hold on.

"Amya is really hurt." said the girl, worry etched into her features. "Holden and I are afraid that she won't wake up."

He shifted his weight, and groaned once more when the pain in his ankle came back. However, it wasn't as intense as the first time, so he chose to take that as a good thing.

"Where is she?" Rodney asked, as he turned his body to the side an slowly stood up. He winced as his injured ankle cried out in agony, but he stayed standing. Grabbing onto the trunk of a nearby tree, he steadied himself against it.

Holden and his sister (Ryen! That was her name!) stood as well, and grabbed each one of the astro-physicist's arms. Ryen then pointed about a hundred yards away where a small figure was covered up in a blanket.

Willing himself to keep moving, Rodney hobbled over to where the children's caretaker was laying against the crashed hull of the puddle-jumper. He quickly checked her vital signs, and was relieved to find that she was unconscious, but had a steady pulse. She had a broken leg, and a concussion, but otherwise she was okay.

Oh, crap. The kids.

In his confusion and haste, he'd completely forgotten to check on the children's well-being. He turned to Holden and Ryen, and looked them over. Fortunately, they were both fine, save for a few bruises and scrapes.

"Can you get me the med kit?" Rodney asked them, realizing that he'd have to do something about his own ankle next.

The two children gave him quizzical looks.

"It's a big box thing, has a strange cross on it in red?"

Holden's face lit up, and he ran over to a spot near the jumper. "You mean this, Mickey?" bringing the box to Doctor Mckay.

"That's the one." answered Rodney. He took out the pro-wrap and the tape, and started wrapping his ankle with it. It was much easier on another person, he remarked wryly. By the time he had completed his task, however, the sun which had been warming him only a short while ago was starting its descent downinto the horizon.

"Mickey, I'm cold." said Holden, shivering slightly.

"Me too." added his sister.

Rodney just sighed.

"Any luck?" asked Major Sheppard, pacing slightly in the control room of the Atlantis Base.

"Not in the last ten minutes since you last asked, Major."

"Sorry. I'm just worried about Rodney. He's not so great with kids, you know. Like on that planet with the energy shield. He had his hands full with those two kids."

"Well, it's-"

The control room operator's voice was cut off as Elizabeth and the Rabisian ambassador strode into the room. The ambassador's face was creased with worry for the welfare of his children. He had explained to Dr. Weir that there had been Wraith activity detected in their planet's solar system around the time where Rodney and company would have arrived, but it had disappeared immediately after.

"Our planetary defence team has dispatched a ship, but they haven't found anything yet." informed the ambassador, sadness creeping into his voice.

"We'll do all we can to assist, Ambassador." reassured Elizabeth, then turning to John. "Prepare the jumper; you, Aiden and Teyla are taking a trip."

"Right away." grinned John.

They had decided to set up camp right outside the entrance to the jumper; it was so damaged that Rodney was concerned for its structural integrity. The kids had grabbed blankets, and, under supervision, had made a small fire where they had attempted to cook some of the rations stored in the ship.

Checking on Amya one last time, the scientist headed back to his own blanket. The sun had set long ago, and brother and sister had fallen asleep. They weren't as bad as he had expected them to be; actually, they were pretty intelligent for kids. Maybe children weren't so bad after all.

His eyes started to droop, and with one final look around, he wrapped himself up in his blanket and lay down on the ground. He sighed as he arranged himself on the grass beneath him, and closed his eyes.

"Mickey?"

Crap.

Maybe if he ignored them, they would leave.

"Mickey!"

No such luck.

He threw the blanket off himself, and flopped onto his back to meet the quivering eyes of a seven year-old boy. "What?" he asked, praying and hoping that he would be able to sleep soon.

"There's monsters in the woods." Holden was clutching his own blanket to his chest, and was almost on the edge of tears.

Rodney craned his neck towards the woods and, without surprise, found no large glowing eyes hidden among the tall trees. "There's nothing there, Holden." he replied with a slight note of irritation in his voice.

"It was there! Ryen saw it too!"

It was then that the girl stood up out of her bed and hurriedly came over to her brother. "Can we sleep with you?" she asked softly, trying to be calm.

All I want is sleep, the scientist complained to himself. If he gave in, they hopefully would leave him alone. It was his last shot. Well, not really. He'd kept his chocolate as a final weapon, but he suspected it wouldn't be the best choice in this instance.

"Fine. But no snoring. I mean it; I'll feed you to whatever's lurking about in the trees."

The two children dropped down on either side of him and spread their blankets over top of themselves. Dr. McKay soon found himself with a young boy tucked beneath his left arm and a girl clutching on to his right hand.

This was going to be a long night.

"There's some debris down on the third planet, Major. Looks like one of our jumpers." Lieutenant Aiden Ford reported, anxiously looking to his friends.

"It is possible that they survived the crash. Dr. Mckay has proven very resilient in the past." Teyla said, trying to reassure the young lieutenant.

"Well, let's check it out then." decided Major Sheppard, as the ship changed course and headed down towards the planet.

"He looks almost natural like that."

"I never thought he'd be that cuddly."

Rodney Mckay opened his eyes and saw the laughing faces of John Sheppard and Aiden Ford looking down at him. The sky was lightening, and he could see the planet's twin suns rising on the horizon. Ryen was still wrapped around his right hand, and Holden was sprawled out on his left side. He sat up abruptly, waking the two children, and saw Teyla taking care of Amya, who was looking considerably more conscious now.

Major Sheppard knelt down by his friend, grinning from ear to ear. "Have a good trip?"

"Oh yes, it was the best holiday I've had in years, thanks John."

"No problem."

Ryen helped her brother up from their makeshift beds, and noticing the new strangers, backed up slightly behind Rodney, still half-asleep.

"It's okay kids, they're… friends."

John moved forward and knelt down by the two children. "Hey, you guys ever had chocolate?"

"Once again, I thank you for helping rescue my children. I am in your debt."

"Well, we are very thankful for the opportunity to trade with your people, ambassador. I hope that our two peoples can continue to work together in peace."

The ambassador smiled. "That is my wish as well."

He turned towards his children, who were saying goodbye to their newfound friend.

"Goodbye, Mickey, we'll miss you." said Holden, giving the doctor a hug. Mckay awkwardly patted the boy on the back, who was then promptly joined by a slightly tearful Ryen.

"Okay, let's let go now, please." said Mckay, raising his arms and trying to gently pry the children off of him. The people around him started to laugh, and the ambassador took his children's hands and headed towards the active stargate. Looking back one last time, the family and the recovering Amya stepped through the gate.

Rodney brought his hands up to his face and sigh. "Nyagh mmmph hupmh." he mumbled.

"Excuse me?" asked John.

"I said, 'I'm never going to have children. Ever.' "

"Oh come on Doctor, it couldn't have been that bad." said Ford, trying to hide his grin.

Mckay just looked at him.

"Rodney, you have to admit that you weren't that bad with them. They hugged you goodbye." commented Elizabeth, smiling.

"This is the last time I ever do any babysitting." he groaned, before getting up and heading for a nice, warm shower.