Section 4: Leisure Conduct
i. Forward
With Malfoys, leisure conduct is whenever, wherever. So far, we know that Malfoys are better than the rest of the world. To prove this once again, you should feel free to do as you wish when the mood hits you. This includes in the middle of a meeting with the Minister of Magic. (Note: Minister Robert Devlin, 1882, was an idiot. He was an idiot that talked too much but never had anything to say. Julius Malfoy, in the midst of a battle between the Minister and the Department of Magical Games and Sports, called for everyone to settle down, then took his family to Switzerland for a week.) Leisure time is important to take alone, as well as with the family. While it is not requirement to have 'fun' while spending time away from business, it is secretly recommended. It's good to not worry about anything once ever year or so. If you wish for proof of this fact, feel free to consult any of the family portraits. Warning: They will be peeved with you for bothering them, but eventually will try and talk you to death. They all stand strictly with the Code of Conduct, so be sure to refer to section 3, article one, rule no. 2, before attempting to inquire about anything. Also, make yourself look presentable. Especially your hair.
ii. Regarding others
Rule No. 1. The wife is to Paris, as the dementor is to Azkaban.
Deal with it. Be sure to accompany her at least once every four years. Show off that you have the patience to deal with the bint's ridiculous shopping sprees. It will keep your wife happy. It will keep your standing with society high. How many other men can put up with their wives' obsessions with clothing and shoes?
Rule No. 2. Teach your son Quidditch.
Impress upon him that he is expected to be on his House team at school. It is up to you to make sure he's good enough, though. If you must, take time off work and spend time teaching the basics and techniques. Rules need not be taught as they do not apply to the Malfoys.
Rule No. 3. Feel free to curse the person that dares interrupt your leisure time.
That should teach them a lesson!
Rule No. 4. Keep your temper in check.
No use getting excited during your period of relaxation. A simply curse or hex with do away with whatever threatens your time of leisure.
Rule No. 5. Seduction is perfectly in order.
Again, be sure to refrain from getting caught, or your vacation will have been all for nothing.
Rule No. 6. Teach your son how to use a weapon of some sort other than his wand.
Oh, grow up. A sword is the perfect weapon for your son to learn on. Whatever the weapon is, he should be well-trained in using it for defense by the age of acceptance into school.
iii. Regarding self
Rule No. 1. Do your own shopping.
This will help you from looking utterly ridiculous. Not that it's possible for a Malfoy to look ridiculous. Still, best do your own shopping than let your undoubtedly creative wife do it.
Rule No. 2. Do not attempt to tan.
A true Malfoy will turn a bright red within forty minutes of sitting outside at the edge of the pool. Crimson isn't really a good color for Malfoys, though. (Unless it's a crimson robe made of the finest satin. If that's the case, proceed.)
Rule No. 3. You will not bring work to leisure time.
Because I say so!
Rule No. 4. Should you feel the need to celebrate the rising of the sun with half a dozen bottles of Firewhiskey– do so in an orderly fashion.
The world need not know of your alcoholic tendencies. Also, be sure to not drink directly from the bottle. Our family certainly has enough glasses and you should feel free to put them to good use. The crystal glasses are particularly nice. I simply cannot imagine what a Weasley would do to get his hands on just one.
Rule No. 5. Remember— you are self-absorbed.
Not even vacation means you can afford to look horrible.
Rule No. 6. During this time, it would possibly be a good idea to learn to play an instrument of some sort.
Any instrument would good. It is preferable if the instrument has a strange name, possibly a mandolin. Or, if you simply do not have talent with instruments, perhaps you could try crooning softly in the moonlight. Such rituals stretch back to even before the Malfoy line began, when on the full moon people would chant and croon to ask for luck in whatever they needed it for the upcoming month. Dolts. Apparently they didn't know that the moon was a chunk of rock and not a God of some sort.
"Young Master Malfoy!"
Ethan blinked and looked up from the book. He could have sworn he heard someone talking. The wizard looked around his room and shrugged to himself before setting his gaze back at his desk.
"Master Malfoy! Master Malfoy!"
He jumped out of his chair and practically landed on top of the house elf that had been standing by his chair yelling at him. After a moment Ethan calmed down slightly and when the creature shrieked his name again, he simply blinked at it.
The two of them stared at each other for over a minute until, finally getting annoyed, Ethan growled, "What is it, Talley?"
"Master and Mistress Malfoy wishes you to pack!" Talley exclaimed, hopping up and down.
"Where are we going?"
"You is going to Spain, young Master Malfoy!"
As soon as the creature had finished talking, he disappeared with a crack and Ethan looked at the book with a hint of a smirk. So his Dad did actually follow the book, it seemed. In the back of his mind he had been thinking that his father had simply rewritten it to have the portraits off his back about it, or perhaps not to have to find out what would happen if he skipped the fifth generation rule.
He threw open his closet and studied everything that was in there.
"Spain...interesting choice, Dad."
Author's Note: Coming up! Malfoys in the sun!