M A Davis / Miko
Nabiki Tendo, dressed in a formal gown of bright yellow, stepped into the room. Across from her stood Ranma, in a creme tux with tails and a yellow cummerbund, looking much as he had during his first attempted wedding. He looked nervous, and had a right to be.
"Is he here yet?" Ranma asked.
"No sign of him," Nabiki replied. "We have to assume he won't show."
"Damn him!" Ranma said angrily. "He's going to destroy TWO weddings for me!"
Laughter erupted from Nabiki. "Oh, please, Ranma!" she said. "Don't be stupid! How can you compare this to the disaster of two years ago? Ryoga's married to Akari, the Kunos are relocated to Hawaii, the amazon bunch is back in China, and Ukyo will be marrying Konatsu four months from now. This wedding may not be perfect, but you won't have rivals of every stripe crashing it. By comparison, having your best man go missing is a minor problem."
Ranma was anything but calm. "Nabiki, I promised Akane that everything would go smoothly this time! What am I going to do without a best man?"
"Well?" Nabiki said. "Pick someone else."
"But who?"
"Why can't your father step in?"
"No!" Ranma said emphatically. "I will not have my father as my best man! It's inherently lame! It says to everyone that I don't have any close friends!"
"But you don't," Nabiki said.
"Shut up!"
"Look," Nabiki said, "you should have known Ryoga would have trouble showing up on time...."
"Hey! I got his tux ready and everything! All he had to do was show up!"
"Which he's not going to do," Nabiki said. "You know it's not on purpose. He was grateful to have you as his best man, and wanted to return the favor...."
"But Akari...."
"Akari can't keep track of her husband every minute of the day, you know. He wandered off three days ago while checking up on the pigs, and she hasn't seen him since. Look, Ranma, hindsight's twenty-twenty, but the wedding starts in five minutes. If you don't want your father as a Best Man, then find someone else, quick."
"That's not as easy as it sounds," Ranma said. He peered out the doorway at the gathering crowd of people, searching for a likely suspect. "I don't have many friends...."
"Thanks for doing this," Ranma said. "I really, really appreciate it. I was desperate to find a substitute Best Man."
"Obviously," his friend replied, adjusting the cummerbund. "Have I told you lately how pathetic you are, Ranma? I mean, really, I'm the best you could come up with? You desperately need to make more friends."
"I've always been better at enemies than friends," Ranma said. "Are you ready yet?"
"Give me a moment," the other said. "This tux is a little large, you know. It wasn't ordered with me in mind."
Finally, after some tie-adjusting and another look in the mirror, Ranma's new Best Man turned and smiled. "Okay, tiger, are you ready to get married?
Ranma nodded. "You look good," he said.
"Just remember the deal," the other said. "I do this for you, and you return the favor for me. After all, you're not the only one with few friends."
"Sure," Ranma said with grimace. Before opening the door, he paused. "About that deal," he said. "I don't suppose that you're planning on being the groom?"
"Not a chance," Ukyo replied. She adjusted her tux again. "But don't worry, Ranchan, you'll make a beautiful bridesmaid!"
The idea for this little short came from a line in "The More Things Change" by Rod M. (M Productions) which, if you haven't read it, is an extremely funny Ranma 1/2 fan fic. I wouldn't be surprised to know that several others have written this sort of a scene, but I thought it would make a fun short-short story.