Author: Elf Asato
Written: March 18, 2005
Summary: Hokuto always was the creative one...
Disclaimer: Not mine whatsoever.
Notes: I hate myself for writing this...!
Story
By Elf Asato
+
subaru and sei-chan were at the park one day, eating onigiri that subaru's wonderful older twin sister packed for them, when sei-chan leaned over near subaru, and commented on what nice weather they were having. my subaru blushed because sei-chan was so close, and sei-chan asked, 'your cheeks have a lovely rosy tint to them, subaru-kun. are they warm?' and then he put his palm on subaru's cheek.
's-seishirou-san!' subaru sputtered because he was repressed like that. then sei-chan said, 'i'm only looking out for your well-being, subaru-kun. you don't have a fever do you? you do tend to overwork yourself.' 'n-no, i'm just fine, thank you, seishirou-san,' subaru murmured. 'well if you're not sick,' sei-chan trailed off. 'you must be embarrassed then, subaru. is it because i'm a man and your a boy, yet i love you anyway?' yes, that was it because subaru couldn't see the romance in the sumeragi clan head being in love with the mysterious sakurazuka. his sister could though and it was hot. 'oh but seishirou-san, it's so perverted!' subaru said as he angsted. he always did that. 'do you love me subaru-kun?' sei-chan asked. 'do you think i'm sexy?' 'yes,' subaru said timidly. that made sei-chan and subaru's sister happy, even though hokuto wasn't there with them. she could feel it psychically though. 'i'm so happy that an important onmyouji like yourself would ever love a lowly vet like me!' he said which was stupid because he was awesome. duh. then they kissed and got married and had 2.4 kids and hokuto was an aunt like she'd always wanted to be. the end.
"H-Hokuto!" Subaru managed in mortified embarrassment as Seishirou finished reading aloud a story Hokuto had written while pretending to pay attention during her economics class; she sat across the table from her brother with a smug sense of satisfaction on her face.
"Now wasn't that a good and happy ending, Subaru?" Hokuto smirked. "I mean, really, giving your dear and only sister the gift of having little nieces and nephews fathered by your true love is such a wonderful ending. You wouldn't deny me that, would you?"
Seishirou put the story on the table and simply laughed, remarking, "Now, now, Hokuto, I'm sure Subaru knows that it's biologically impossible for a man to become pregnant and have 2.4 kids, but don't get his hopes up!"
"My what?" Subaru asked, astonished and incredibily embarrassed by the fact that his twin had written a story about him and their friend and that they were even having this conversation. "I-I'm not"
Suddenly Seishirou stared deep into Subaru's eyes, which didn't help the widespread blush across his face, and looked wounded. "You mean you wouldn't want to be the mother of my children, Subaru? But I love you so very much!"
Subaru gave up and buried his face in his hands with a frustrated groan. He was being attacked from all sides.
How very strange and awkward that he would have a dream about that time.
It must have been the painkillers, Subaru thought, as he opened a sleepy eye and gazed at the ceiling of a dark hospital room. Fuuma...his eye...it all must have triggered a recollection in his brain somehow. He would never remember a good, yet embarrassing time like that voluntarily, after all.
How painful it was to remember his sister's words of how she wanted to be an aunt (never mind the biological impossibilities of him having children with Seishirou), of her dreams that would never come to fruition because she got herself killed by the Sakurazukamori.
Subaru suddenly felt a twinge of anger that he hadn't felt in a while, not since...not since... "I never asked you to die for me," he muttered as he sat up and fingered the bandaged area around his eye gently; even that gentle touch hurt.
Eventually his anger subsided along with the memory of his sister and he was able to fall back into a deep slumber. He briefly wondered before he fell, however, what had become of Hokuto's story...
Seishirou Sakurazuka had about all he could take of the passionate dryness in which Miss Carson wrote with when discussing DDT and the effects of chemical pollution on salmon in a far off place he deemed too rainy to care much about (1). Oh sure, it was important and relevant to his world, yes, but at one o'clock in the morning, when he was too tired for much intellectual stimulation but not tired enough to actually sleep, he couldn't bring himself to give a crap at the moment about humanity slowly poisoning the earth.
As far as he was concerned, the earth would have plenty of time to detoxify itself once the Angels won and humanity was destroyed. That seemed to be his extent of actually caring at all of what happened on the Final Day, though.
At that tiny little hour, rather than the fate of humanity, Seishirou cared more about finding something suitable to read. Discarding the book, he strangely had a recollection of a memory nine years ago, of a certain tragic beauty and his sister. ...Did he still have that story she wrote once? He had kept it after the Bet mainly because it amused him greatly.
Getting up from his bed and digging around in a few personal boxes, Seishirou found that yes, he still had it, and climbed back between his bedsheets. It was a quick read and he chuckled lightly through most of it. Nice memories an amusing game made. Soon after reading it through a couple of times, he put it aside, again with the dilemma of not having anything suitable to read; eventually he turned off his bedside lamp in favor of attempting sleep. Tomorrow he'd go to the bookstore and find something trivial and mundane to pass the hours with, but he refused to be desperate enough to resort to something as useless as the Sumeragi sister's story.
Really, teenage girls were absolutely ridiculous.
Not only is this a jab at myself and nearly everyone I'm acquainted with, but I also incorporate things from previous fics of mine, which, for some reason, bothers me (Muraki's Untitledness and Stuffed Mushrooms and Chile).
(1) Silent Spring by Rachel Carson. I didn't actually read this, though I managed to do a book review on it for government...