A Friendly Chat in Paradise
Disclaimer: I DO NOT own any of the characters or rights for them in any way, shape, or form. They belong to the creator of Saiyuki Yeah, so anyway my only point of brilliance is the other stuff. In other words, I'm not that brilliant. All I own is a few lousy pixy stix and a meatcleaver… R&R!
Ch 1: An interesting start
Taka paced back and forth over the lacquered tiles in a fit.
"Where are they?" she snarled violently at the ground. The Spirit Girl had been pacing like this for whet seemed like days, breaking things accidentally in her angry little outbursts. "I told them to be here at ten o'clock. I told them! Darn camera crew….wish they'd hurry it up. I don't have all day- the others will be here soon!" With one unbalanced spin, Taka knocked over the vase on the pedestal to her right. A long deluge of swearing resulted which cannot be shown under this current rating. "Argh! Stupid… the people who own this place are gonna kill me! The Gods only know how much I've broken already!"
This was true. Taka was not the most graceful of people; in fact she was an outright klutz. She had already broken an old toaster, a flowerpot, a china cup, a Buda statuette, and a microphone. The people that she was renting the country villa from would probably be furious.
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnggg! It was the doorbell! Oh yeah! This is it! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Taka thought as she brushed her blue-black hair from her face and went to the door. With trembling fingers she undid the bolt and unlocked the brass latches on the ancient oak door. Slowly, holding her breath and shaking in sheer excitement (although the couple dozen pixy stix that she had earlier may have helped), Taka pulled the open door and saw…
CRASH! "Oh it's just you", she said, obvious disappointment stamped on her face as Taka opened the door that she had slammed on her guest. Taka's friend Akuma came in, her eyes flashing dangerously.
"Whadda ya mean 'just me'! I'll have you know that I came all the way out here for you when I could be doing much more enjoyable things by myself or with Fluffy." (Fluffy is actually her nickname for Sesshoumaru from Inuyasha. She is going out with him.)
"Like what?' asked Taka skeptically.
"Like…um…playing video games or…burning stuff up. I like fire!" Akuma retorted.
"Yeah, I know. Stop whining Akuma. It's almost time!"
"Ok" she said dejectedly. "So…where's your crew?"
"They're late." Taka muttered ruefully.
"The cast?" queried her friend.
"On the way."
"Who are you having?" asked Akuma happily. She liked Saiyuki just as much as Taka did.
"Well, we are obviously going to have the Sanzo-ikkou. Sanzo, Goku, Hakkai, Gojyo… yeah…Gojyo…"
"Are you sweet on him?" Akuma yelled, knocking the Spirit Girl from her reverie." "I'm half shocked, half amused, and half just plain disgusted! May I remind you what a pervert Gojyo is?"
"But he's a really hot pervert…and that was three halves."
Akuma was so exasperated that words couldn't aptly describe her feelings. So- she threw her spiked shoe at Taka.
"Ow!" She squeaked before falling off the edge of a chair. "Hey!" With friends like this, who needs enemies? Taka thought bitterly. Miss Resident-Pyro over there is ten times as bad as most criminals I've met.
"That was fun!" Akuma smiled, then seeing her friend's warning scowl, she switched topics. "So who's the host?"
"Me, Stupid!"
"You?" she asked innocently, "but you'll ruin- Ack!" Her remark was cut off as she got a mouthful of shoe; the one she had previously flung at Taka. "Ok, Ok. So you are the host. What are the questions?"
"Glad you asked!" Taka commented brightly as she rummaged in a backpack for them. "They are all in here some…" She paused as an ugly realization swept over her. Drat! She thought angrily, I used them to clean up the fragments of the statuette! I've thrown them away! What'll I do now? I don't remember any of the questions. I could make them up but they would sound cheesy. Curse this whole situation!
"Ummm…Taka? Are you ok? You look kinda greenish."
As she was about to reply, the doorbell rung again.
"Oh no, this is it! They're here!" Taka wailed, "And I don't have my note-cards! I'm not even ready!"
"Quick, go out into the garden where you are taking the video and get ready. I'll send out the camera crew and delay the interviewees until you are ready. Hurry!" Akuma said.
Taka sprinted into the English garden and started to arrange chairs. She ushered the camera crew into place urgently and rearranged her hair. She hashed out the final instructions just as Akuma ushered the first person out onto the set. All right, I'm going to be fine…I'll just ask whatever pops into my head. Man, I wish those birds would give their singing a rest: I have a headache.
"Action!" snapped the man by the camera. Taka mustered up her courage and started-
"Hello everyone and thanks for watching. My name is Taka and I'll be your host this evening. We (meaning myself and several professionals) conducted an interview of a few Saiyuki characters. With me…I wish those darn birds would be quiet. I can't concentrate.
"Oh! And the question is…um…'How many sparrows in an English garden?' The interview is being taken in said garden."
After- production note: Unfortunately we cannot claim that no sparrows were harmed in the making of this interview. Nor can we say the same for a certain monkey and sprite. However, we are pleased to announce that I, Taka was not hurt in the making, perhaps a bit traumatized but not hurt. (Nothin' short of a bloody miracle if you ask me)
"And now, without further ado, yadda yadda, blah blah blah, the age-old question-
'How many Sparrows in an English garden?'"