God's Lucifer

Fandom: Jeremiah.

Jeremiah/Markus. Mid S1 or so. NC17. Fucking.

Disclaimer: JMS, not me.

Jeremiah doesn't like Marcus at all.

He's pious, preachy, straight laced, and has a god complex twice the size of the mountain.

But he's such a good fuck.

The first time Jeremiah though it must have been a fever dream. Dehydration and delusion from being on the road too long once travel supplies had run out. The feel of Marcus's skin under his fingers, slick in the shower that was a prerequisite and reward for the long haul trips. The sounds that had come out of his mouth once Jeremiah had put himself inside like something delirious and lost had broken loose. He'd felt insane the rest of the day because all he wanted was more.

Or some kind of explanation.

Jeremiah's had a dozen people between the road and the mountain and each of them he probably would have loved to try having a relationship with if circumstances had ever been different. Those were understandable differences. Life, the Big Death, and survival. Marcus is different. They don't talk about it. They both seem to know it'll stop if they do. Because they don't agree on anything. Ever.

Each time he's done with a mission Jeremiah tell's Kurdy the one thing he can't wait to get back for is a shower. He tells himself it's the shower because it's a luxury he's missed for most of his childhood. A simplicity of cleanliness that he's missed. He lies to himself about the fact it's not kissing Marcus's skin, or slamming himself into that sweet ass, or hearing Marcus cry out as his fingers scrambles across tiles as he looks for something to hold on to even knowing there is nothing.

Sometimes Jeremiah wonders if that's what it's all about. If Marcus is looking for something to hold onto when there is nothing to hold on to. Because it doesn't matter how large the mountain is or how well it's running, he knows it could just be another really large trap to the right person.

Marcus cries sometimes, but only after they turn the shower water back on to wash off the stickiness. Like the spray of the water on his face will make it so Jeremiah can't see the tears or the slight shake in his shoulders. Because Marcus is pretending Jeremiah can't tell he's crying, Jeremiah pretends, too. He wraps his arms around Marcus's chest with his eyes closed letting the spray hit him in the face.

He thinks Marcus will be here every time he comes back, but he's never quite sure. He stopped being sure people would come back when his parents didn't. Even the mountain being here each time seems a relief. And now he looks curiously through the hall as he walks for his showers. He's begun hoping Marcus will show, which worries him.

Jeremiah doesn't like Marcus at all.

He's confused that he might love him.

And when not at the mountain, looking at stars, he often wonders if this is how Lucifer felt about God before he fell.