Title: Clean

Author: Sassy

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Logan/Veronica undertones

Genre: Angst

Show: Veronica Mars, An Echolls Family Christmas

Summary: It's been a year since Veronica was raped, and she wants to see the place where it happened again. Logan discovers her and ends up helping her in an unusual way.

Clean

Logan Echolls had seen her while he was stopped at a streetlight. She was walking, shuffling more accurately, down the sidewalk; her head was down and she seemed slightly dejected. He almost went into shock, because Veronica Mars rarely looked as miserable as she did right at that moment. Her usual confident, I-don't-care-what-you're-saying gait was replaced by this depressed looking slump. Logan's curiosity was piqued, though he had no idea why he wanted to know why she was upset. He liked to revel in other people's pain? Maybe. Or maybe it was because he remembered the times when he and Lilly and Duncan and Veronica would play truth or dare in the backyard by the pool. Whatever the reason, he decided to follow her. He swerved into another lane, almost hitting another car. The guy honked and Logan offered him an opinion of what he thought before turning right to follow Veronica. Where was she going? She wasn't friends with anyone in the neighborhood she was going to, not anymore. He tried to stay a distance away from her, because if he followed her too closely, she would pick it up. Or at least he thought she would. On a normal day, Veronica's gumshoe instincts would pick up on it. But today wasn't normal for her.

Logan watched her as she stopped in front of the Pomroy's house. She stood there, staring up at the house on the hill, her head tilted back now. Logan felt even more confused than he had been. Why was she there, staring at the house? What was her problem?

Veronica stared at the house that had changed her life as dramatically as the Kane house had. It had been a year since she'd been there, a year since it had happened. Since she had tried to fit in with 09ers again and paid the price for wishing to get her normal, superficial status back. It had been a year since the Sheriff had laughed in her face at her misfortune, simply because her father had been kicked out of the office. It had been a year since she'd had something taken from her and she had no idea who had done it or how to fix everything that had gone wrong in her life. She didn't know why she had come to the house. It served no real purpose, staring at the place that had changed her life for the worse for the second time in a few months. No purpose would be served by staring at the house; no purpose would be served by crying. Yet she found it impossible to stay away from the house and she found it impossible not to cry. Her eyes filled with salty tears and began to stream down her face. A feeling of hopelessness settled over her and she wondered why she even bothered going through the motions of life. She stared blankly, her mind blocked out from everything except for the hopelessness and the sound of the Sheriff's laughter as she told him her story while feeling a dirty that she didn't know how to get rid of. She was so cut off that she didn't hear the car door slam. She did, however, hear his comment.

"Stalking is kind of illegal in all states, Veronica. I don't think Shelly would appreciate the Skank of Neptune staring up at her window."

Veronica cringed and quickly ducked her head. Of all people, Logan Echolls would not see her cry. There was no way that was happening. She bit down on her lip, trying to focus on another pain, but it was too late. He could tell.

"What have you been crying about, Veronica? What's going on with you?"

His words seemed unusually kind, though his voice still held the biting harshness it always had when he talked to Veronica. Veronica wondered why he was asking her, but figured it was some weird tribute to Lilly of something, him pretending like he cared about what was wrong.

"Why would I tell you? And I'm not crying."

Logan raised his eyebrows, not that Veronica could see. She still had her head down, studying the sidewalk below her. She wished that she had brought Backup with her, because she could have told him to attack and all would have been right in the world for a moment. But she hadn't brought her dog and Logan was still there, unbelieving of her comment that she wasn't crying.

"Whatever, Veronica. I'm just making sure that you aren't planning on breaking into the Nicholls' house to take their valuables or something. If you want to lie, I really don't care."

"Exactly. So just find your BMW and speed away. Maybe you'll get in a car crash on your way home."

"Nice. See if I ever try to 'talk' to you again. Ha, I pretend to care and I get a death wish."

"Like you don't deserve every death imaginable that is wished on you. I was here, minding my own business and you're the one that stopped by to disturb by relatively peaceful state. I just wanted to see the house again and then I planned to get away from here as fast as I could. My life changed here, I didn't expect to have company today." Her hand went to her mouth. She had let it slip. She hadn't meant to. She wasn't thinking. And she was usually so careful about what she said.

"What do you mean your life changed here? Is this the site of where you slept with the whole soccer team for the first time?"

The comment hit her badly and it made her inhale sharply. The words weren't anything different from what Logan usually said to her, but today was not the day to hear about her recent reputation based on true facts. She snorted at the thought of those rumors being true, but she still couldn't get the comment out of her head. She was dirty now; she'd always be dirty. And she didn't want to be reminded of it today anymore that what she already was. She was haunted every day, but today was the worst. She turned to Logan, her head raised just slightly. He could see the tearstains and he saw an unusual pain in her eyes. Pain that matched his own, though not quite. There was something different about it. Logan didn't know what to do with the realization, so he laughed. Downright, loud laughter. And she turned away again after more pain flashed over her face. Was it because he was laughing? She seemed to wince at the sound.

"Can't stand the sound of amusement, Veronica?"

He was being cruel to her. He knew it. He wasn't nice to her, but he wasn't usually this cruel to her either. For a minute, he felt a little guilty. Lilly would be kicking his butt right then after the things that he'd been saying today. And if the day had been normal, Veronica would have been too.

"Why don't you just go to Hell, Logan, and leave me alone."

"You really are cheery today. Why won't you tell me what's got your panties in a twist?"

Veronica took a few steps away from him, her gaze still firm on the house. Almost as an aside, she spoke, but Logan could still hear the debate she was having with herself.

"Why am I even thinking about telling Logan? I reported it to the Sheriff and he laughed in my face. Logan would probably make fliers and pass them around the school. I haven't told anyone since the day I sat in the Sheriff's office, and I shouldn't tell anyone now. It's just going to backfire. Everything I do backfires."

Logan made a move towards her and she flinched visibly. Logan was surprised by her reaction. He adored tormenting Veronica, but he had never physically hurt her. Why would she recoil when he moved towards her? Veronica was not a jumpy person by nature. She was steady and sure of herself and her whole countenance today was strange.

"I can hear your conversation with your multiple personalities, so you might as well tell me what you reported to the Sheriff. That sounds like there was some kind of crime. Are you a criminal, Veronica?"

He received a small smile at that, and he was surprised at how proud he was for being the one to put it there. She shook her head sullenly and she looked up.

"I don't know why I'm telling you this. Maybe it's because it drives me crazy not talking about it when it's there, in my head, everyday, all day. Maybe it's because I don't care what you think about me. For whatever reason, I'm telling you."

She took a deep breath and began to gnaw on her bottom lip. She couldn't look at him when she said it, she didn't want to see his reaction. She couldn't see his reaction.

"You remember that party a year ago? It was only a few weeks after Lilly had been murdered."

"Of course I remember. You came to the party even though no one had invited you. It was a joke that you were even there."

Veronica started to giggle inappropriately, her sanity a little bit gone on that day. She still didn't look at Logan and continued. "Yeah, it really was a joke. I was raped that night, Logan. Someone drugged me and raped me, then left me there alone to wake up and wonder what had really happened."

Logan hadn't been expecting that confession. Of all the things that he had come up with that could have been wrong with her, Veronica being raped was not one of them.

"You were raped?"

"Yeah. A year ago, today. At this house. When I woke up the next morning, I knew it had happened, but I don't remember who it was. I went to the Sheriff's office and he laughed at me. He laughed and laughed and laughed and I couldn't understand why. Probably because my dad had just been voted out of office and the new guy is a jerk, but he didn't do anything about it except laugh. He didn't file a report. He didn't investigate. He didn't have me tested for anything. He just left me in the lurch.

"I was alone, and I couldn't tell my dad. He'd kill every boy at that party just to make sure he'd gotten the guy. I couldn't tell anyone."

Logan felt sorry for Veronica. He didn't usually feel sorry for anyone. His life sucked more than theirs did, even if they didn't know it. But he was fairly certain that being raped was right up there with being beaten. Besides, pity never really did anybody any good; it just made them uncomfortable. All the same, it was disconcerting, the commiseration he felt when he saw Veronica standing there, looking more than a little bit lost as she stared at the site of where her virginity had been brutally taken from her. He didn't know what he was supposed to say, though. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. He didn't know if he wanted to do anything.

She started to walk away from him, down the sidewalk again, her shoulders still slumped. He understood Veronica's bitterness now, her self-reliance and her sarcasm. He understood her. That fact scared him more than he could explain. He didn't know Veronica. He had never tried to get to know her. She had just been Lilly's best friend, Duncan's girlfriend. Then she had been no one. But now she had a face, a secret that only he knew. And for some reason, he felt like he owed it to Lilly and maybe to Veronica to do something about what she had just told him. He didn't try to stop her from leaving. He let her go, but he didn't take his eyes off the dejected blond. When she turned the corner, he went straight to his car. He had to take care of some stuff. Having a rich and famous father did have its perks occasionally.

Veronica sat on the couch next to her father, eating ice cream. She had decided that she deserved to have a dessert for dinner night that night, so they sat with their sundaes, watching the news that night peacefully. She was scared now, since she had told Logan what had happened to her. Of all people she could have told, she had picked her enemy. Why couldn't she have told Wallace or Weevil or someone? What had possessed her to tell Logan? All she could think about now was what would happen when she returned to school the following day. But her scenarios were interrupted by the special report came on the screen.

"On recent news in Neptune, today actor Aaron Echolls came out with a complaint against the Sheriff and his department for mishandling the case against his murderous stalker. He demanded that the Sheriff be removed from office as it was said that the Sheriff lost some evidence regarding the case. The Sheriff is currently on probation as a committee meets to decide whether he should be removed from office and a re-election for Neptune town sheriff will be run again. This will not cause a mistrial for the case, because enough evidence has been untouched and can still be used against the woman in question. On other news tonight…"

Veronica stared at the TV in shock. There had been no mishandling of evidence in the Echolls case. It was a slam-dunk case. But no one would fight against the Great and Powerful Echolls. After a moment, she knew it had been Logan. He had done it. Because of what she had confided in him. She stared at the TV for a bit longer while her father said something about the under qualified sheriff getting what he deserved. Veronica heartily agreed, but her father didn't know the half of it. He blamed the man for taking his job. She blamed him for not doing anything about her trauma, and apparently, so did Logan. She finished her ice cream hurriedly, ignoring the brain freeze that hit her as she scarfed down the cold substance. Then she made some half-baked excuse to go to her room.

Veronica dialed the phone to the Echolls' house tentatively while she settled in on her waterbed. She was a little nervous about calling Logan. She hadn't done that since she had planned Lilly a surprise birthday party two years ago. She waited for him to pick up the phone.

"You're live with Logan."

"Hi."

He paused on the other end. He knew who it was and he knew why she was calling. But his actions didn't change anything. Not between them. He was just making sure that something right happened for Veronica, even if it didn't get the boy who had raped her. No matter what went on between them, no one deserved to be raped and not have a proper investigation conducted about it. He had done it for himself, and Lilly, and Veronica. He had done it to fix something that had happened long ago. But they weren't friends. He couldn't be friends with her. She was Lilly.

"Veronica, why are you calling me?"

"I saw the news tonight. Interesting stories."

"That's nice. I'm not one for current events. Now again, I ask you, why are you calling me? How did you even get my number?"

He smiled to himself, because honestly he didn't mind her calling too much. Because as much as he hated that she reminded him of Lilly, he liked it too. He liked spunky Veronica. She was quirky and spirited, like Lilly had been. Before someone had taken that from her, the way someone had taken Veronica's spirit for a day.

"Thank you, Logan."

It took her a second to get the words out, but she was thankful he had tried to help. Even if it didn't fix her problem or make her feel clean again, at least the guy was out of office. At least he couldn't laugh at any more poor innocent girls.

"You're welcome, Veronica."

With that, he hung up on her. Veronica listened to the click and then the tone that followed the disconnect. And she smiled for the second time that day, caused by Logan again. No, nothing would be different tomorrow. And that was okay.