Peach Answers Viewer Mail

Episode One

"Hello!" said Peach. "You might know me as Peach! Well, Bowser gave me the keys back to my bedroom and stopped sneaking in alcohol in my mocktails, so I've got a low budget studio in my bedroom!"

Peach looked at the audience dumbly, and then looked back at the camera.

"Yes, that's right, a studio in my bedroom!"

Peach looked around a bit, looked at her watch, and then looked back at the camera.

"So now I've got a show, right here at Smash Mansion!"

"Yoshi!" screamed Yoshi. "Let me go Peach out of these handcuffs! No one wants to read your dumb story anyway!"

"Can't hear you Yoshi! And in my show, I will answer letters that my viewers send into me… live!" explained Peach. "Letter one!"

Peach pressed the enter key on her computer, and looked at her computer.

"Dear Peach,

Why don't you give everyone computers, like in Random stuff happens? I liked it when you had computers!

J. Palmers, AL," read Peach.

"Well J. Palmers, I think everyone has computers here, or why would I be typing on one? Or alcohol! Or Vodka? Stupid!" giggled Peach.

A couple of people in the audience laughed uncertainly.

"Stupid!" giggled Peach.

Some passers by glanced at the padded cell.

"Letter two!"

"Dear Peach,

Why don't you do something interesting?

Signed, Daisy

P.S. JUST BECAUSE I BEAT YOU AT TENNIS DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULDN'T GIVE ME MY TENNIS RACQUET BACK!" read Peach.

"Well, I guess you're a sore loser, Daisy!" complained Peach, in a childish voice. Letter… one… two… uh… THREE!"

"Dear Peach,

Let me go!

Yoshi," read Peach.

"Hehehehe, let's forget about that incident!" said Peach glancing nervously at the camera, pressing the enter button.

"Dear username-peach,

Download this game, and send it to a lot of people!

From qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm," read Peach.

"OKAY!" said Peach in a slightly disturbing tone.

Peach downloaded the file and sent it to everyone.

Three seconds later…

Peach walked out of the studio dragging Yoshi along holding a camera, going into Falcon's room.

Do you want to play a cool game? Do you want to impress chicks? A message popped up on Falcon's screen.

"Would I?" said Falcon.

Well give us your credit card details, or if you're a minor, get you're daddy's card!

Falcon grabbed his credit card, and punched in his details.

Sending money to Peach…

Later, in the studio

"With all that money Falcon sent me, I can get a screwdriver that could take the lens cap off, so people can actually see me!"

Peach smiled dumbly at the camera, while Yoshi, with a giant ball dragging on his feet struggled to get out.

The end

I am truly, truly sorry.