Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT and never claimed I did. How's that for harsh truth?

A/N: What can I say? I'm putting up yet another one. But this one isn't funny, just an issue a have sometrouble with myself. I thought of Raph and this little piece came to be. Love it, hate it, ignore it. I don't know. But please, if you do read it, drop off a review to let me know what you thought. Thank you!

TWO SIMPLE WORDS

by

Mickis

Genre: General/Angst

Language: English

Rating: PG13 - just in case Raph's foul mouth might insult you.

Summary: A quick peak inside Raph's tortured mind - where the unspoken truth lies hidden from his loved ones. Nothing big, just a short behind-the-scenes piece of our favorite guy in red.

I don't get it. Why can't I say it? It's not like it's a big deal or anythin'. Juz two simple words. Two words - and that's it!

Even as a kid I couldn't do it.

I dunno how many times they've given me crap for it... How many hours I've spent locked up in my room, ta 'think my actions through,' like Splinter so many times told me.

Well, Splinter's gone now. I'm too old for punishments and yet I still can't say them damn words!

I've imagined myself sayin' 'em a thousand times, at least. So I know I can do it. But every time the moment comes, my ego freezes up and I can't get it out. I juz can't push myself ta say it.

Every- fuckin' -time I leave it unsaid, I always hafta deal with the shattered look on their faces, that hurtful look in their eyes. And I dunno if any of 'em knows this, but in truth it hurts me just as much as it does them.

It's not like I wanna be an asshole. They might think so - but I don't!

I don't wanna be the constant bad guy, who's always responsible for tearin' our little family apart.

Someday, though, I'll show 'em. I'll show 'em I'm not that guy and I'll tell 'em what they wanna hear; what I've been meanin' ta say for so damn long, it's ridiculous.

I swear, if it's the last thing I do in this fucked up life a' mine, I'll look 'em straight in their eyes and I'll tell 'em once and for all.

I'm sorry.