Omochao sat in his cell, feasting on his meal of mush porridge, water and Ramen noodles. He reclined luxuriously on his thin cot, his feet propped up against a cinderblock. He wore the finest prison uniform as a beautiful breeze blasted him full in the face at gale force. In short, he was living the high life… in prison, of course.
You see, he had been landed in a prison in Chao Garden. His attempt to rally them against Sonic the Hedgehog, his new arch-enemy, had failed, and he was accused of disturbing the peace. So,
"Bah humbug!" snarled Omochao, rattling the bars in rage. "I must find a way out of here! I've got to show the world that all Sonic the Hedgehog has done is evil and cruel!" He launched a flying kick at the bars, which crumbled into pieces.
The Kit Kat bars, that is, that had been provided with his meal of mush porridge, water and Ramen noodles.
"Gimme a break, gimme a break, break me off a piece of that Kit-Kat bar!" sang a guard, trotting down the hallway. "Gimme a break, gimme a-" The guard was laid unconscious by Omochao, who had just thrown the mush porridge through the iron bars of his cell.
"Excellent!" cackled Omochao, eating his Ramen noodles. "Now, I can steal his keys, and I shall escape from this cell!" Omochao reached as far as he could out of the cell. But, with his stubby little arms, he couldn't reach.
"Curse you!" he shrieked at the wall, which unsurprisingly did not reply. "Hmmph! Well, maybe if I make a lasso out of these Ramen noodles!" This was without a doubt the most preposterous idea ever imagined, which obviously meant that Omochao would do it. Tying the noodles together, Omochao used them as a lasso to snag the guard's keys.
The guard's car keys, that is.
"No!" roared Omochao. He gave a second try, and finally snagged the keys to his jail cell. Freeing himself, Omochao armed himself with the guard's Desert Eagle.
"What are you doing?" asked a guard, walking down the hall. "Why do you have Billy's gun? And why aren't you in your cell?"
"I'm on parole," lied Omochao, sweating frantically.
"You're on parole, and you're in the jail, and you have a prison uniform," repeated the guard sarcastically.
"Actually, this isn't a real prison uniform. It's a… costume, that I'm using to star in a play," Omochao blurted out. The guard looked skeptical, to say the least.
"A play."
"Yes, it's an informational play," said Omochao, ad-libbing mindlessly. "An educational skit to teach prisoners not to break the law." Omochao broke out into a can-can type dance and with a high kick knocked the new guard unconscious. "Victory!" he screamed.
Just then, eighteen guards surrounded him with AK-47 machine guns.
"No," breathed Omochao, "please don't…"
"OK," said the eighteen guards. "We won't do anything." They walked away discussing the weather.
Omochao, now thoroughly confused, crept stealthily out of a window and shimmied along the ledge while the Mission Impossible theme played.
"Do you mind?" barked Omochao at the 100-piece symphony orchestra that followed him, playing the music.
"Yes, um, wait, I… no," they said, jumping off the ledge to their death.
Having all this to think about, not to mention when Chao Garden got a prison, Omochao dropped from a safe point on the ledge and landed… on top of a guard.
"I say," said the guard with his last words, "all those muses, all those sages and priests and poets, they never wrote of the most profound force in nature…" Omochao, befuddled beyond belief, snuck out of the prison area with a great deal of kung fu and slapstick comedy.
"Yes! I'm free!" shouted Omochao, performing a jig. "Now, I must find a place to spend the night and clear my head!"
So, Omochao waltzed off to the nearest hotel, which for some reason didn't notice that he was an armed convicted criminal. Of course, they refused to give him room service, but Omochao dismissed that as pure cheapness.
"If I want to summon an army of Chao, I must give them motivation to do my bidding," thought Omochao. His eyes moved toward the VCR. "Wait… that's it… home video… Chao hunting… movie production… Sonic the hedgehog… Chao hunting… show to the Chao… Sonic the hedgehog… movie production… home video…" Omochao's eyes lit up with fiendish glee. "Great Scott, I think I've got it!"
"Someone call for me?" asked Great Scott.
What could Omochao be up to… please review!