Falco: (Walks by, eating a cookie. Waves at the others) Hey guys. (Walks away)

Erik: (Sitting on the Authoress' bed with Haru) The hell? Did Falco just greet us in a positive way?

Haru: Yes, he seems to be in great spirits. Just earlier he helped me put away the groceries.

Erik: But that isn't like him at all.

Haru: Maybe he's gotten used to being here. After all, you were pretty rude when you first arrived.

Erik: How would you know?! I arrived before you!

Haru: Link told me.

Erik: Yes, but I'm ALWAYS mean to him. It's LINK.

Haru: True...

Falco: (Walks in with a plate of cookies) So, what're we up to?

Haru: We? As in, you included with us?

Erik: (Stands up and points at him) Alright! What are you up to now?!

Pleading Eyes: (Walks in) He's not up to anything. He's just happy! Willow Rose sent him some cookies. (Pats Falco's head) Deep down, Falco isn't a mean guy. He's just insecure and has both a big ego and inferiority complex at once. He just needed some love.

Falco: Screw love. I have cookies, biotches!

Haru: Right... wait, where's Link?

Erik: Don't look at me. I haven't killed him since this morning.

Link: (Under computer desk) I'm here... (sniffs) Even Falco got cookies. But I didn't. I mean, I'm sure he deserves them. I only save one nation, he saves a whole planetary system. But then again, he gets PAID to do it. The only reward I get are highly-rated sequals...

Pleading Eyes: Aw, Link? Do you need a hug?

Link: DON'T TOUCH ME! I don't deserve cookies... then I don't deserve to live! (Takes out master sword) Goodbye, cruel adventure game! (stabs himself, but a fairy revives him) Goddesses dammit!

Pleading Eyes: Well that's the end of that chapter.

Haru: What do you mean? We resolved nothing. Anis is still loose in your story somewhere, this phic is not funny anymore, and now link is tyring to kill himself.

Link: Goodbye, critically acclaimed musical score by Koji Kondo! (Stabs self again, but is revived)

Pleading Eyes: I SAID, that's the end of that chapter!

Falco: (Shrugs, eating a cookie) Can't argue with that logic.

Link: Goodbye, various love interests who I never really hook up with, leaving a never-ending fodder for fanfiction writers! (Stabs self, is revived)

Haru: Whatever. I'm going to go narrate now.

Pleading Eyes: Don't forget to wera a sweater! Well, I better do review replies!

Link: Goodbye, inconvenient plot twists that usully involve Zelda having an alter ego! (stabs self, is revived)

------Review Replies------

Tsunami Wave: It was between that or "Fopping through Life." I chose fopular in the end. I'm glad I did!

rhiready: Hmm, I think Link is too busy killing himself to guess. Let me see... give me a clue! C'mon, please? Is it Phantom related? Kingdom Hearts maybe? Um..er... well, I really want that cake. That's it! You're going to be... a cake! ...no? Damn. Foiled again.

gavvie: AHAHAHA. It's funny because it's anus--erm--Anis. Wait, did you ever take Popular seriously 0.o?

Lady Willow Rose: Aw, thanks for the cookies. Falco is so happy now! He even helped repair my computer! Of course, he knows nothing about computers, so all he did was yell at it and kick it, so now it's worse than before... but it's the thought that counts!

familyguyfreak: Um, sorry! I didn't mean to end the chapter! It's all Anis' fault! Stupid Anis! As soon as I get him out of this phic... he's gonna get it!

Konoha's Kage: Hey, thanks! Your review was so wonderfully wonderful, in three ways! Man, I'm glad we understand each other.

Eriks leadinglady: Yeah, rotten kids! Ah well, maybe somethign well happen this chapter to make up for it. (winks)

------Review Replies------

Pleading Eyes: Done, I'm so pro.

Erik: Wow, that's the shortest review reply session I've seen you do in a long time.

Pleading Eyes: (Glares) You're not helping.

Falco: Link, buddy, don't kill yourself! I mean, there's pleanty of reasons to live! For one, you get to look at my awesomness all the time! How lucky is that? I can't do that without a mirror. If anyone should be depressed, it should be me!

Link: B-but... the Authoress... she finally started a Legend of Zelda fic... and I'm not even the main character! My Shadow is! Why?! (Stabs self, is revived)

Falco: ...forget this. I'm just not the caring type. Where's Haru?

Haru: NARRATING! NOW SHUT UP SO I CAN START ALREADY!

Episode 33

Anis and Efrian sat at the curb. Anis was busying himself drawing pictures in the sidewalk with his finger, while Efrian glared at the world; hating his existence.

Anis suddenly looked up, eyes wide. "You feel that, Efrian?"

Efrian only grunted a response.

"It feels like people are watching us through screens somewhere. We're the focus of the phic right now!" Anis said, standing in enthusiasm.

Efrian only grunted in response.

"Don't you see what this means?!" Anis said, gesturing wildly for no apparent reason, as he so often did. "We finally get to do something!"

Efrian stood, arms crossed… and only grunted in response.

"This is fantastic!" Anis declared, jumping up and down in excitement. "Especially since I was thinking..."

Now Efrian's eyes widened. Anis, thinking? Such a thing had never happened before. "R-really?"

"Yeah, but then my head started to hurt." Anis admitted. Efrian scowled. "But hey, then I read a leaked version of the script and didn't have to think anymore!"

Efrian said nothing, banging his head against a nearby wall.

"Efrian, cut that out for a second and listen" Anis said, beginning to explain his wonderful plan. "We're in fanfiction. All sorts of impossible things can happen here! Characters can act completely out of character without warning, impossible pairings can happen without explanation, and continuity errors run ramped!"

"Your point being?" Efrian asked, holding his now lumpy head and praying for a concussion.

"Efrian, we're a couple of the only characters that know we're in a story! That means we can manipulate it!" Anis smiled widely, as if he had just done something very good.

"I don't know about that." Efrian said with reservation. "I mean, I wouldn't want to make a rip in the time-space continuum of the fanfiction universe. Think of all the angry fans that would come after us."

"Okay, forget the possible repercussions for a moment." Anis said, making a mental note to look up the definition of repercussions later. "Just think of the power!"

"I'm thinking about it." Efrian shrugged. "Quite frankly, I can't really think of anything useful."

"You just have to think outside the box!" Anis said. "Start thinking according to the evil villain formula!" Anis' own blatant contradiction went over Anis' head. Efrian ignored it, not even bothering trying to explain anything to him

"Alright then." Efrian said in defeat. "What do you propose we do, Master Von Alba?"

Anis placed a finger to his chin, trying to adopt a 'pondering' look. "Well, first we need to find a field that's completely desolate, and that's like a bajillion miles long. The kind of place that could never exist in real life—but it's right over there!" He pointed to outside of town, where a large, desolate field awaited them.

"Of course." Efrian said, rolling his eyes as they made their way to said field. "And no one ever noticed this field before now."

"Thirdly," Anis said, counting on his fingertips, "we need an evil lair. You know, the kind that's built all in black stone and has pointy metallic tips of evil, and a lava moat, and it floats in the air, all menacing, and it has these really high towers, and only one window, but it's an evil window, and a dungeon below, and spikes all around, and booby traps inside that only catch our enemies, and… stuff." Anis finished lamely.

"Are you finished?" Efrian had all but reached the end of his patience. "That is completely ridiculous, not to mention impossible, and no such evil lair is going to appear out of thin air just because you want it do!"

"But…" Anis whined stubbornly, "I want it!"

As if on cue a powerful earthquake suddenly wracked the ground beneath their feet, casting Anis and his servant to the floor.

"Gasp!" said Anis once the earthquake had passed, not realizing that you're not actually supposed to say gasp.

They stood, Efrian about to continue ragging on Anis about his stupid lair idea; when suddenly, out of thin air, an evil lair, the kind that's built all in black stone and has pointy metallic tips of evil, and a lava moat, and it floats in the air, all menacing, and it has these really high towers, and only one window, but it's an evil window, and a dungeon below, and spikes all around, and booby traps inside that only catch enemies and… stuff, popped into existence with a ping.

"No… fopping… way…" Efrian said incredulously, staring up at the monstrosity Anis had just created.

"Yes!" Anis jumped up in the air in victory. "I told you! Now all we need are bodyguards, like, big buff men with lizard heads!"

"No." Efrian said plainly.

"No?" Anis whined.

"No, you're allergic to lizards." Efrian stated. "Now listen, just because you brought this abomination into existence doesn't mean that it should be here! Don't you understand what you've just done? You've broken every rule of fiction and insulted any credible writer, whether professional or amateur, in only a few paragraphs!"

"Awesome! It has a throne room!" Anis shouted, running past Efrian, mid sentence, and into the awesome new evil lair.

"Fop damn it." Efrian said to himself, knowing no good would come of this.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Meg walked into the main room, fully dressed despite the act that Erik ripped up her clothes last chapter… ahem. Anyway.

Erik sat at his organ, as usual, scribbling something down. Meg approached him tentatively, hoping he wasn't in a foul mood.

"I'm leaving." She said mousily. Erik's hand froze, dropping his quill, as he turned to face her.

"Leaving? But you're not well yet. You should be in bed." He replied gruffly.

"But I have to see my mother." Meg reasoned. "I don't know if she's alright. Please, I promise I'll come right back."

Erik looked at her for a moment, before turning away and resuming his activities. "As you please. It isn't my concern."

Meg regarded him sadly, his sudden aloofness leaving her cold and unsatisfied. Still, she could deal with that later. Right now, she had to make sure her mother was alright.

She left the lair, following the path Raoul had led her down before, and hailed a cab.

Making her way to the humble flat, Meg held her breath, bracing herself for whatever she would find. She knocked on the door…

…to have Christine answer? She had braced herself, but she hadn't expected this!

"C-christine?" Meg sputtered dumbly, surprised by the Viscountess' sudden appearance in such a humble abode.

"Meg!" Christine threw her arms around Meg, embracing her. "I'm so glad you're alright! Madame Giry and I were just discussing going to see you."

Christine invited her in, which was odd considering it was really Meg's home, and the two of the sat down in the living room, where Madame Giry as waiting.

"Maman!" Meg kissed her mother, embracing her tightly. "I was so worried. Thank the stars you're alright!"

"I am fine, mon petite." Madame Giry said calmly, pulling away to go prepare some tea.

"Oh Meg! I'm so glad you're alright! I was so worried!" Christine said heavily.

Meg frowned in annoyance. The memory of Erik's gentility came to mind, followed by his sudden aloofness, and Meg suddenly understood. He had probably thought about Christine. He was always thinking of her. The man was so infuriatingly loyal, would never say a word against her, and how did she repay him?

And even Little Erik! He adored his mother, this woman who had left him behind! While Meg, who had stayed and risked her own life for him, was only considered a friend.

The soprano looked at Meg with tears glistening in those wide, vacant eyes for her. She took Meg's hand, but Meg pulled away in disgust and envy.

"Meg?" Christine said, sounding hurt.

"What?" Meg snapped, not even trying to hide her disdain anymore. Deep down she had always resented Christine for leaving her and marrying the Viscount. It wasn't even that she married into higher class that bothered Meg; it was the fact that Christine had seemed to forget about her lower class friends! Like she was too good for them!

"I don't understand." Christine let the tears fall down her perfect porcelain cheeks. "I thought… Meg, why are you angry with me?"

"I'm NOT!" Meg stood, retreating to her room, unable to stand being near her former friend any longer!

But Christine followed. "Meg, please!" she cried, inviting herself into the room and shutting the door behind her. "You are my dearest friend! If something s bothering you…"

"You bother me!" Meg pointed at Christine accusingly, finally letting her true feelings pour out, after having locked them away for so long. "Perfect Christine, beautiful Christine, talented Christine! And still, everyone sympathizes for her! As if she's the only one who has ever lost a father!" Meg screamed, storming off to the other side of the small room.

"Meg, please." Christine repeated, crying desperately now, and approached the former ballerina. "You were always like a sister to me. I love you!"

"Yes of course!" Meg scoffed. "You always love someone when it's convenient to you."

Christine paused, drawn aback. "You don't mean that."

"Don't I?!" Meg didn't really mean it, and she realized that as Christine bowed her head and turned to leave. She hadn't meant to bring fathers into this, knowing how Christine still suffered over her father's death. She most certainly hadn't meant to accuse Christine of using her husband. "Wait." she sighed, trying hard to let go of her anger.

Christine stopped, turning back to Meg, sniffling. Meg sat on her bed, gesturing for Christine to join her. They sat side by side, as they so often had as children, and simply stared out ahead of them.

"I'm sorry." Christine said finally, breaking the silence. "I know… I know I've hurt a lot of people. But I never meant to." She wiped away her tears, staring down at the floor. "I never asked for people to sympathize with me, or for them to love me. All I wanted was my father back. I never meant…"

"It's okay." Meg said, sighing. It was true, after all. Christine hadn't asked to be showered with such affection. She didn't know how to handle other's emotions. She was just a weak-willed little girl who missed her Papa. "I'm sorry too."

Christine smiled through her tears. Meg returned the smile half-heartedly, a twinge of jealousy still running through her. "What is it?" Christine asked, noticing how her friend remained bothered.

"It's nothing, I just…" Just what? What had prompted this insensitive tirade on her part anyway? It was so unlike her. Oh yes, Erik had. She had realized she loved Erik, only to realize right after that he would never love her. He couldn't even seem to get along with her for more than a few minutes.

"Just what?" Christine pressed, not unkindly.

"I…" Meg sighed. She doubted Christine could answer her question, but she lost nothing by asking. "Why can't people get along and love each other?"

She was certain Christine would say she didn't know. Instead, she laughed.

She laughed.

"What's funny?" Meg asked, irritated by Christine's sudden mirth.

"You think getting along is the same as loving?" Christine patted Meg's head patronizingly. "Oh, little Meg. For once, between the two of us, you're the naïve one!"

"What?" Meg shrugged off Christine's hand, hearing a musical chord strike up. Oh no…

"Being married, I soon learned…" Christine began, standing, "The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them." Meg stared in utter confusion as Christine began to prance around the room, singing. "The more you love someone, the more he makes you cry! And though you try to make peace with them, and love them." Christine brandished a picture of Raoul from seemingly nowhere, stroking it lovingly. "That's why you love so hard you'd like to make them DIE!" She suddenly crushed the picture, throwing it to the floor, and stomping on it.

"Uh… Christine?" Meg lifted her feet up on the bed, becoming uneasy with Christine's strange display. Christine approached Meg sweetly, continuing to explain.

"The more you love someone, the more he drives you crazy. The more you love someone, the more you wish he was dead!" She brandished another picture of Raoul and glared at it. "Sometimes you look at him, and only see foppy and lazy! And wish for a baseball bat to hit him on the head!" Christine popped the picture into her mouth, chewing it furiously, before spitting it out on the floor and stomping on it as well.

Meg stood, preparing to make a run for the door, but Christine turned and took her hands, smiling wistfully.

"Love…" Christine sang, once again seeming calm and beautiful.

"Love…" echoed Meg, relaxed by Christine's cooler demeanor.

"And hate." Christine sang, dancing around with Meg's hands in hers.

"And hate." Meg repeated, starting to smile.

"They're like two brothers…" Christine sang melodiously.

"Brothers…" Meg resounded.

"That go on a date." Christine said, moving away from Meg and towards a window.

"That…" Meg stopped, unsure if she had heard correctly. "Wait, what?"

Christine whirled around to face Meg, explaining. "Where one of them goes, the other one follows. You invited love! But he brought along sorrow."

"Ah, yes." Meg nodded, understanding now.

"The more you love someone, the more you want to kill him!" Christine sang ecstatically, brandishing yet another picture of Raoul and tearing it up. Meg harmonized under her. "Loving and killing fit like hand in glove!"

"Like hand in glove!" Meg sang, watching as Christine proceeded to stomp on her remaining pictures, and then walked over to Meg.

"So if you find someone who makes you want to kill him…" Christine lowered her voice tenderly, brushing a band out of Meg's face maternally, "…you go and find him…"

"Yes." Meg nodded once, determined.

"…and you get him." Christine said softly.

"Right!" Meg pulled out a club and held it up proudly.

"…and you DON'T kill him…" Christine added quickly, snatching the club out of Meg's hands. "…cause chances are…"

"He… is… your/my… love…" Christine and Meg sang together, harmonizing beautifully, and finished the song, hugging each other.

"Oh, Meg! My sister not by blood!" Christine cried.

"We haven't harmonized like that since Angel of Music!" Meg said, getting a bit teary-eyed herself.

"Yeah, that was kind of weird." Christine said as they pulled away, recalling the memory. "We sure did break into song randomly a lot back then."

"What do you mean back then?" Meg retorted, quirking an eyebrow.

The two stared at each other for a moment, and then burst into laughter.

"Go." Christine said, trying to stifle her remaining giggles. "Find the man you love, whoever he may be."

"What about you?" Meg asked, reluctant to leave Christine after they had finally reconnected.

"I'll be fine. I'll just stay here and clean up the mess." Christine gestured to the various scattered and stomped on pictures of Raoul littering the floor.

"Oh. Right." Meg agreed, not quite sure where they had all come from. "Where is he, anyway?"

"Oh, I don't know." Christine said dismissively. "He went to go report a kidnapping or something. He's such a silly man."

Meg didn't ask, worried that she might strike up another musical number. "Well then, I better get going!" And with that, Meg turned and, stopping to say a quick goodbye to her mother, ran to find the man she loved. She wondered, briefly, what Christine would think if she knew who it was Meg wanted to kill.

She made her way back to the lair. The main room was empty when she arrived, but she could hear voices coming from the sitting room.

Meg peeked into the room and found both Eriks; busying themselves with building… something. Meg couldn't tell what. But she was filled with an incredibly warm feeling as she watched Little Erik pretend to pick up a glass of water to drink, but instead splashed it on his father. Erik pretended to scowl, though he could hardly contain his laughter, and grabbed the boy by the foot, holding him upside down. Little Erik struggled in the air, finally surrendering. It was so endearing, watching the two of them get along so well. Most of all, Meg didn't think she had ever seen Erik so happy.

She watched as Erik dropped Little Erik, who scrambled to his feet in embarrassment. He caught sight of Meg, and ran towards her. "Meg! You're back!" he hugged her thighs, for that was about as high as he could reach.

"Yes." Meg looked up at Erik, who had his back turned to her, busy picking up the tools they had scattered on the floor.

"Oh, Papa's been teaching me how to build!" Little Erik told her enthusiastically. "Let me show you what we made earlier!" He ran out of the room to fetch his creation.

Meg ventured into the room shyly, watching as Erik placed the tools on a table, and turned to her.

"So…" he said, his expression unreadable, "how was Madame Gi—?"

Before Erik could even finish his sentence, Meg rushed forward, gripped his lapels, and pressed her lips against his.

And Erik did not pull away.

Jayden: Okay, here's the plan. I go in there and get your mom and Misty, and kidnap them!

Ann: ...that's it?

Jayden: You stay here and guard our flag! Here's a machine gun. (Hands Ann a machine gun) If you need me, contact me through this. (Gives her a cup on a string) I'm going in!

Ann: I thought he was the clever type!

Jayden: I am! I just like to play spy. Hurray for annoying espionage! (Runs off humming the mission impossible tune)

Meanwhile...

Meg: So, uh... about that kiss...

Erik: Will you shut up? I'm trying to kiss you here! Damn women and their jabber.

Little Erik: What they don't know, is that I've been watchign them this whole time. I'm just waiting for them to get all "into it", so I can interrupt! Hurray for annoying kids!

Meanwhile...

Efrian: This is still stupid.

Anis: Yeah, but now we have... AN ORGAN!

Efrian: Why do we have an organ?

Anis: All serious bad guys need an organ!

Efrian: You know what? I don't even care...

Anis: Hurray for annoying villains!

Tune in next time!