10/03/05 - Some corrections have been made (as always: thanks, Saun!)

28/02/05 - Hi minna!
As I said in Love at First Sight (go read it before going through this story!), this is the second fic I've ever written and it's from Haruka's point of view... read and review, please!

SIGHT OF FIRST LOVE

Jacket, pants, tie... everything was fine. A last look at the mirror and, satisfied with myself, I was ready to face the world.
I took my bag and left home, my new home - I had moved in only a few weeks ago. A nice place, not too expensive or too big for just one person, but it included a little garden and garage for my only love: my motorbike.
I looked at my watch - 7:40 am - and walked faster. This was my first day at the new school and I didn't want to be late.
"Aah, look! Who is that guy? He is so attractive!"
"Ssh, he can hear you!"
Hearing those excited voice I couldn't help but turning towards the two girls who were passing by me and, of course, were talking about me. Students of my school I realized, seeing their uniforms.
I smiled at them: "Good morning." then I went on my way, hearing the deep sighs of the two, charmed by my good-looking exterior.
I could hardly repress a chuckle imagining what their reaction would have been had they known that the 'attractive guy' was indeed a girl dressed like a boy... and how many people made that mistake!
It was truly fun for me to see how easily I could get the heart of every girl I flirted with, even though I wasn't really interested. I know it could seem cruel, expecially when they see me 'play' with other girls, but I've never promised or asked anything of them... I have never said to anyone the three magic words: 'I love you' and maybe, I never will.
There's no one I really care for... there's no one who really cares for me... so why should anyone blame me for a simple game?

It wasn't long before they started to chase me, even on the first day of school. It was lunch time and before I knew it, I was surrounded by a crowd of excited girls.
"Tenou-kun, would you have lunch with us?"
"Tenou-kun..." I repeated. None of them knew I was female, the teachers included. They could not have accepted me wearing the male uniform, so the headmaster, an old friend of my family, decided to keep it secret and I didn't contest that decision... "Just call me Haruka."
"Hai, Ha-Haruka-san..." stammered the girl, blushing deeply.
I nodded with a smile, then spoke to the others: "It's the same for all of you pretty ladies."
The girls whispered, murmured and sighed with dreamy eyes, overwhelming me with their efforts to get my attention. I smiled and replied in kindness, but even though I was enjoying all of this, I felt a strange coldness deep in my heart...

Time flew by and after a week the entire school knew about the 'handsome new student'.
I just smiled and made a sweet comment when a girl greeted me, too used to it to even notice. However, popularity also had its bad points: first of all, the male students started to envy and hate me, not only for my success with girls, but also because I was unbeatable at every sport, expecially on the running track... there I didn't need a mask of coldness and absolute self-confidence to hide my fears... there I was really unreachable, invincible, alone with the wind, faster than thewind, my only companion.
Secondly, nobody dared to get close to me (as a friend) and that's the reason why I had to face my problems all on my own. They would have laughed if I had told them I didn't know how to approach that girl... the special one, I knew it the first time I saw her, beautiful sea goddess.

It was a rainy day and I decided to pass the lunch time in a quiet place, far from all those giggling girls (man, they can be so annoying sometimes!), so I chose the old library. I knew that nobody went there... well, almost nobody.
It was a huge, gothic building, with a lot of shelves all full of books. I started wandering around, welcoming the silence that
surrounded me, then a noise make me stop immediately.
Who else was there? Silently I moved toward the source of the sound and looked beyond a shelf... there I found her.
Breathless and startled by the sight of an aqua haired young woman, looking out of a huge window, absorbed in her own world (she was listening to the music with a cd player)... she was stunning with that thoughtful look, but I knew for sure that she would have been even prettier with a smile on those soft lips of hers.
Too soon the spell broke and the aqua haired girl left. I walked towards the window and stood where she had been, wondering why my heart kept on beating so fast... then I noticed a book at the table, something she had forgotten.
I opened it and read the name written on the first page: Kaiou Michiru.
At that moment I heard the door of the library being opened again: the girl had returned for her book and found it on the table. I don't know why I did such a stupid thing, but I hid myself behind the shelf, waiting for that beautiful mermaid to leave, repeating her name in my mind not to forget it.
Kaiou Michiru...

"Do you know anything about a girl named Kaiou Michiru?" I ventured not knowing what a big mistake I'd just made...
In fact, the cheerful looks of the girls around me instantly disappeared, replaced by others of... annoyance? Anger? Hate?
"She's a hateful girl!" started one.
'Hateful?' I wondered in disbelief... 'How could they say something like that about that angelic vision?'
"And when she looks at you with pity? I would slap her right on the face in those moments!"
'Ehi... quite aggressive the lass!'
"She thinks she's better than us because she can play the violin and she is good in every subject!"
"Yeah, and because her family is rich."
"And all boys are after her."
"Hai! ...you're not interested in her, are you, Haruka-san?"
amazingly, at that question they stopped talking all at once and stared at me attentively.
I was startled, but only for a second... "Of course not, I don't even know her!"
They all sighed in relief, while I wondered: were they just a bunch of jealous brats or it was me who completely mis-judged the aqua haired girl?
There were an only way to figure it out: I had to speak with her.

Luckily I saw her at lunch time, before the afternoon lessons.
She was walking alone, drawing the attention of some guys and I decided to approach her with my usual casual manner: "You're pretty popular."
She stopped and turned towards me... my heart almost jumped out of my chest as my dark green eyes met her deep blue ones. Trying not to show my inner turmoil, I nodded in the direction of the guys who were still looking at her (and also at me now).
Her reply came as almost a soft whisper, just a little louder: "So are you."
I laughed, a bit nervous: "You're right... seems like I can't get away from them."
"Or you don't want to."
Those words hit me like a punch in the stomach, it took me a moment to recover... was she joking or speaking seriously? The earlier talk with the other girls replaying in my mind... I frowned, I shouldn't judge her, not before knowing her... "You know... you're quite strange... what's your name?"
"Kaiou Michiru. Pleased to meet you." she said with that stunning smile.
"It's my pleasure, Kaiou Michiru. I'm Tenou Haruka." I introduced myself, smiling cooly, then I waved a goodbye and left.
I needed time to think... how could that young woman makes me feel such strong emotions, something I've never experienced before?
Anyways, all my doubts about her vanished one by one as I began to get accustomed to her...
Hai, her scores were high in every subjects: math, history, modernjapanese... and she was a marvelous violinist... an artist, as I discovered that she was able even to draw and paint. But she has never thought or acted like she was better than the others... perhaps it was the others who understood that they weren't as good as her... but that's not her problem, right?
For the same reason, how could someone blame her for her parents' wealth? She has nothing to do with it...
And her 'pitying looks' were just her natural, polite reply to the stupid provocations of some empty-headed girl.
It seemed like I knew a lots of things about her, eh? Well, that's what they called 'friendship'. Spending enough time together, we learned more and more about each other... we were extremely different: I was a tomboy and she was a real lady; I was stubborn and rude (expecially when I wanted to be), she was gentle and sensitive; but at the same time, very similar: independent, distant, alone... that's why I could understand her so easily.. and that's why she could understand me so easily, or I hoped so... in fact there was a problem unresolved, at least between us: my gender.
The matter never came up in our talks, as if we had already worked it out... but what if she hadn't? What if she thought I was a man? Would she reject me?
It was driving me crazy... so, one day I asked: "You know... don't you?"
"Know what?" she replied, puzzled.
I swallowed hard, then spit it out: "That I'm not a boy..."
"Of course I do."
The reply was so simple and clear that I couldn't help but grin... what an idiot I was... how could I ever have doubted it? She was my only friend, the only one who understood me, the only one that I considered an equal, the only one who could make me feel so nervous and uncertain, yet so peaceful and happy... "In this school you are the only one who can be a challenge to me."
And here again her knowing, beautiful smile... yeah, her friendship was the most important thing in my life.

Soon some rumors spread through the school as I started to ignore the other girls to stay with Michiru. She was a lot more interesting and it was extremely funny the way we teased each other with no end. I felt completely comfortable with her... for me, it was like I had always known her... to the others, she was obviously my girlfriend.
I thought about it for a while... she was all I had ever wanted and maybe... maybe they were right, after all... her friendship wasn't enough for me... maybe I desired her love.
Was it the same for her?
I had to know, to understand... therefore, I came to the decision of inviting her on.. well, a date.
The next morning I saw her before the lesson started. It was the perfect occasion.
I took out two tickets for the cinema that I had bought the day before and sped up. I couldn't ask her properly, I was too afraid of a refusal, too afraid she could have sensed my real intentions, so I passed her by, waving the tickets: "This afternoon. 5 o'clock in the park. Don't make me wait!"
No chance to reply, no negative response... just perfect.

I arrived at 4:45 p.m.
15 more minutes and she would arrive... I couldn't wait to see her, so I looked around for something to focus my mind on. It
was a nice day, the sky was cloudless and I could feel the hot sun shine overhead, while a soft breeze caressed my skin... a perfect weather for a perfect afternoon with my perfect Michiru.
I was so concerned with my own thoughts that I almost missed the girl walking toward me: "Excuse me, can you tell me the time, please?"
Surprised, I didn't reply immediately, then a grin appeared on my lips.
Here it came, my favourite entertainment: "Of course I can, but may I know your name first?"
The young lady blushed: "K-kaede... n-nice to meet you!"
"Kaede... a lovely name for a lovely girl. How old are you, Kaede?"
"I-I'm seventeen."
"And what are you doing here, all alone?"
The question seemed to bring back unpleasant memories for her: "I was supposed to meet my boyfriend, but he didn't show up..."
"Unbelievable... he must be a real fool to leave a pretty girl like you all alone."
The girl looked at me in disbelief... did I exaggerate?
Probably the lass was an unconfident one, so I continued with a charmingly smile: "It's quite rare for me to see such a beauty."
I could almost swear she had already forgotten her boyfriend at that moment: "You.. you really think so?"
"Of course." I insisted, then a familiar voice broke in.
"Don't be deceived."
"Michiru!" I called out, amazed how beautiful she was, even more than usual (and ten thousands time more than the shy girl!).
"You're always saying that whenever you see a pretty girl." she scolded me, making me feel like a mischievous child that didn't behave herself.
I tried to look at her with indignation: "Don't say it like that!"
Out of place, the poor young girl who was feeling completely ashamed, stammered a "G-gomen!" and with a bow, nearly ran away.
I didn't care about her anymore and went on with the conversation with the aqua haired girl, looking at my watch: "5 minutes. I guess I should have waited more."
She didn't reply to my provocation and asked instead: "What are we going to see?"
"A horror movie." I couldn't resist the urge to tease her. I knew she disliked that sort of movie and the face she made (even though she tried to hide it) was nothing more than a confirm that icreased my amusement.
I laughed then reassured her: "Just kidding! I know you hate those kinds of movies. It's a comedy... maybe.. or maybe not..." an evil grin still played on my lips.
"I hope so... for your sake." more than those soft, few words was her glance that made me feel quite uncomfortable and the threat I could read in those deep blue eyes.
I laughed a bit more trying to dispel my uneasiness... would have she looked at me that way if I had told her about my feelings?
Anyway things went on quite well. The movie was a good one and after the cinema we went in a café to relax and talk. Yet the time passed by too quickly and before I could even realise it, the day was already over.
We were walking side by side. The silence around us was comforting and irritating at the same time. I felt like I had to say something, anything... "Did you enjoy the evening?" (what a stupid question...)
"Hai. Good movie and the café was a nice place too. What about you?"
Me? I felt like the most happy person in this world everytime I'm with you... because you are the one I want to spend the rest of my life with... because I finally understand that I love you with all my heart... you and no one else.
Instead of those words - it was too hard to say them aloud... - I replied with an apathetic: "Yeah, I feel the same as you..."
I could sense her eyes on me. She noticed that something was wrong with me, but before she could say anything, I spoke again: "Ehi, it's already 10, I have to go home now... good night, Michiru!" then left.
Here again, I run away... even from the most precious, wonderful gift I've ever had.

The next day I didn't meet her for the whole morning and in the afternoon I had my athletic class. I ran around the track a couple of times, then increased more and more the speed, as if I was challenging the wind itself.
When I stopped, exhausted, the coach came over: "I've never seen someone as fast as you are, Tenou Haruka."
I smiled confidently, used to such compliment, then another voice called out for me: "Tenou-kun!"
I turned around to face a breathless Tsukasa, one of Michiru's classmate and one of the few people who was friendly with her.
There was something wrong with the girl and I understood what it was when she spoke: "Michiru has some sort of problems with Yoko and her friends!"
At that statement I frowned deeply... I had heard something about that Yoko, a violent and arrogant girl that seemed to have fallen for me.
What they wanted from the aqua haired girl was quite clear... "Where are they?"
"In our classroom. I wanted to stay with Michiru-san, but she sent me away..."
I knew that Tsukasa was truly worried for her friend. I smiled to comfort her and with a "Thanks!", I left the track in a hurry, with the fear of what those stupid girls could have done to Michiru.
I arrived just in time to hear some of their speech: "...promise you'll leave him, or you'll find out on your skin how bad I can be!" it was Yoko.
I felt the anger mounting... how dare that silly brat to threaten my Michiru?
Yet, I didn't show myself... the answer... I wanted to hear her answer... I wanted to hear that for her I was more important than any promise or intimidation...
"Come on, promise!"
Suddenly I realised how immature I was being. My friend was being attacked and I wouldn't help her because of my stupid pride. I burst in and spoke in a menacing tone: "She won't promise anything to you!"
As expected, the three girls jumped and turned towards me in disbelief: "Ha-haruka-san!"
"Here I am." I answered and crossed my arms with a very angry look:"Out of my way... now!"
The three girls immediately did as they were told, leaving me with Michiru: "Are you all right?"
She smiled as if nothing had happened: "I'm fine. But why you are here? And your training?"
'You're more important than any training...' but I couldn't say it openly...
"Tsukasa-chan told me about what was going on here and I left the track... why didn't you tell me that those silly brats were after you?"
I asked with more concern... was it the first time they go after her or it was already happened before? And why she didn't tell me? Didn't she trust me?
"They are just girls in love... there's no reason to worry about them."
"But..."
"Believe me."
I didn't say anything. She knew too well that I couldn't reply anything to such a statement, but the doubts in my heart couldn't disappear so easily.
I couldn't deny it anymore. I truly loved her. It was so simple and yet I didn't know how she felt about me.
There was only one way to figure it out: I would have to court her.

To achieve what I wanted, I decided to do it properly: firstly, I left a white rose under her desk, with no note or anything that could bring back to me. Just to increase her interest.
I did it again some days later and when I entered her classroom, I found her discussing with Tsukasa about the 'mysterious gift from a mysterious admirer'.
I acted nonchalantly: "Ehi, what are you two talking about?" then, pretending to see the rose for the first time: "Oh... is that a gift for you?"
"Hai..." the aqua haired girl replied, then with a mischievous glint in her eyes: "Are you jealous?"
"Not particularly. It's a nice gift." I replied with absolute calm, feeling a little bit guilty for my recital... how could I be jealous of myself?
The lesson was about to start, so I left in a good mood that lasted all day long.

I put under her desk other anonymous roses, waiting for the right moment to tell her that I was the secret admirer, but... something went wrong, completely wrong.
"Tenou-kun, wait!"
I turned back just to see that Yoko was running towards me. I wanted to leave, but the girl caught my arm: "Please, listen to me! It's animportant thing!"
I sighed and with an annoyed look, I decided to let her talk.
"I... I'm sorry for what I've done... but it was just because.. I really care for you..."
'Seems like Michiru was right, after all...' but the few words that followed made me regret the thought: "That's why I have to tell you that she is a liar and she is betraying you!"
I didn't want to hear more nonsense and I turned away from her to leave, even though she was still talking: "I've seen her with another guy right now, believe me!".
I walked away, her words still echoed heavily in my ears and in my heart.
Michiru with another guy... if it was true, I would have known, wouldn't I?
I successfully removed those bad thoughts from my mind, then what I saw almost killed me.
Unconsciously, I had wandered around the school till I got to the back of the building, where there were many plants and an old oak tree. Not many students went there, that's why it was a peaceful place.
Nevertheless, that day I found no peace with the memory of Michiru standing by the oak with a boy... I couldn't hear what they were talking about, but I didn't need to... it was unmistakable and I was just a fool to even think that she may have accepted my feelings.
Overwhelm by a turmoil of negative emotions, I didn't even wait til the end of the lessons to go back home.
I didn't sleep very well that night and the next day my mood wasn't much better. That was probably the reason why her happy voice made me feel even worse: "Good morning, Haruka."
"Hi." was all I could manage.
"It's not like you, being so quiet. Did something happen?" she seemed truly concerned... after all it is quite normal to worry about a friend, no?
I sighed... "Nothing. You should be the one with news, shouldn't you?"
Then she stopped me, just like Yoko had the day before and yet the touch was completely different... so warm, softer, so damn pleasant... and it was just a simple touch... as simple as the deep blue of her beautiful eyes that looked right into mine, trying to understand: "What are you talking about?"
Now there was no escape... "Yesterday Yoko-chan talked to me... she had seen you with a guy and implied you had betrayed me. Of course, I didn't believe her and left. Then I saw you with that boy, near the oak... Well... you've finally found someone to love... I'm happy for you." I said it with a coldness that made even me shiver... it wasn't right to destroy her happiness because of my selfishness and before things could get even worse, I hurried away leaving her behind.
All the day long I stayed away from her as much as I could and I was successful, but after the end of the lessons... "Haruka, wait!"
"I can't. I have to go and"
She stood right in front of me: "Why are you running from me?"
I didn't dare to meet her gaze, afraid that with just a look she could have seen all the pain, all the fears that haunted me... "I'm not..."
"Of course you are and I want to know why."
She sounded quite angry, I wondered why, but didn't say anything: "..."
"I don't know what you have seen that hurt you so much, but I'm not in love with that guy."
Not in love... not in love... the three words played again and again in my head until I comprehended their meaning... at that moment my eyes dared to meet hers, while she was going on: "Yes, he wrote me some love letters, but I told him that in my heart there's already another person..."
Was it just my imagination or there was a longing sparkle in her eyes while she was looking at me?
I didn't dare to hope...
"The most stubborn and attractive girl that I've ever met."
Too good to be true. Slowly I took her hand and was truly shocked realizing that it didn't vanished... at the end it seemed like thedream had became reality.
But it wasn't enough for me, not after all I had passed. I moved closer to her and finally met her inviting lips in a sweet kiss that lasted a very long time.
I held her tight, as if I feared to lose her at any moment... her head relaxed on my shoulder, the sweet scent of her hair almost intoxicated me...
I've thought about it for a while, but to say it out loud, it took me even more: "Michiru... I think I really love you."
"I love you too." was her soft reply.
Now I felt like the world was a better place. We stood like that for a very long time, then I heard her angelic voice: "Haruka?"
"Hmm?"
"Who could have sent me the roses?"
I smiled knowingly, then whispered: "I don't know..."
It would have to be my only secret from her... at least for little while...

The End