Standard disclaimers apply.

Quick note: my penname was formerly Lerielle, but I changed it and deleted all previous fictions. So, if you're sitting there wondering why you got an author alert from this random person, that was why.

answering machine

(you're always too late to catch them)

Click. Hey, this is Riku. Not here right now, but leave me a message, and I suppose I'll try to call you back. No promises though. Beep.

Click. Kairi here! Sorry about not being at home, but, y'know, things to do, that kind of stuff. If this is Sora, I'm telling you, you know what you did! Anybody else, just leave a message! Beep.

Click. Tis I! Sora, the avenger! I'm away doing, undoubtedly, uber-cool superhero duties, and must ask you to leave a message! Oh no! A kitten stuck in a tree! Well, I'm off! Beep.

Click. This is Riku. If this a stalker, I'm not going to return your calls. Yeah right, like you would have a stalker! And that was Sora, whose answering machine message undoubtedly sucks. Leave a message. Who'd want to leave you a messag- Beep.

Click. Hi, you've reached Kairi, who is not home right now due to the fact that she is sucking face with Sora in the Shack. Tickets are five dollars. Beep.

Click. This is the real Kairi, and I'd like to inform everybody about Riku's reading selections. Now, if you happen to lift up his mattress, you will find a large number of magazines depicting people doing Questionable Things. If anybody wants a key to his house, leave a message! Beep.

Click. This is Sora and I am an alien who hides porn underneath my friend's bed. My friend, Kairi, is a drug-dealing spork who possess the capability to lie spontaneously. If you prize your sanity, go nowhere near us.

Click. Hi, this is Riku, and I'm not feeling like myself right now…Fuahaha…Beep.

Click. Hi, it's Kairi, and I claim not to know anybody by the names of Sora and Riku. I am normal. I'm also not home right now, so leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Beep.

You have no messages.