AN: This is based on the song of the same name by Buddy Jewell.
Why We Said Goodbye
Do you remember that place we used to stop for breakfast; when we'd go for those really long walks on the beach, before Jess was born?
Well I found it again today, was the craziest thing. We were out walking Bandit along the beach and there it was.
"You want to get something to eat?" I asked Jessie.
"Sure Dad, chocolate milk would be good right now."
So we went in and the place hasn't changed a bit. Still got those red vinyl seats and the tide charts on the wall. Of course they look even more worn now, in a good way though, like old shoes.
The whole time we were there I watched Jessie, the sunlight danced on her face just the way it always did for you. I tell yah that girl is going to be a stunner someday. Just like her Mom.
"Never knew there used to be a fair around here?" She said, peering though the chain link fence.
We'd swung by that old fairground. It's all closed down, but the old rollercoaster is still standing.
I remembered, clear as if it were yesterday, us riding that. You laughing at the terror in my eyes. Claiming that some tough guy like me couldn't possibly be scared of a dumb ride. Jess does that for you now.
There are so many little things like that. Just sparking off thoughts about you. You're sewn into the fabric, the pieces of my life.
"Yeah that was years ago, used to got there sometimes with your Mom."
"Oh"
She didn't say anymore. They way people do if someone had died. Guess it did in a way, not someone but something, us. When did we stop being us and became the seperate enitities of Race and Estelle,yet again. Sure it's been years, but I still can't quite let that go. Probably because everything I do seems to lead back to you.
Of course someone did die, all that time ago. My father. I didn't even have to say anything. You just knew when I broke down and cried. We clung together all night, you holding me just right. I loved you so much then. Guess you must have loved me.
What the hell happened?
There must have been reasons but I just can't remember why we said good bye.
Jess and I strolled down the boardwalk, watching the boats out in the harbour searched for a wind. The way you and me used to do. It was always such a happy thing; the world is when you're with someone you love. Now most of the time it's kind of sad. There are so many lonely people sitting there. Guess in a way I'm one of them.
I know it wasn't perfect with us, but nothing ever is.
We got back from the walk, and Jess went off to muck around on the computers with the boys. Even Bandit deserted me. So I stood in the hallway, wondering what to do.
Then I saw the phone, and the number of your new place stuck on the pin board. So yeah that's why I'm calling you, just to hear your voice. To tell you I still love you, andwe still have a choice. You're sewn into the fabric, the pieces of my life. And I just can't remember why we said goodbye.
Okay there must have been a reason. But I can't recall it now. I know that if I could hold you we could work it out. So let's give it one more try, what do you say?
Cause I just can't remember why we said goodbye.