CHARMED

"Making a Difference"

by shel

© february 2005

disclaimer: the charmed ones, cole, and leo, and the rest of the cast of characters we've come to know and love, belong to spelling television, inc. and possible other copyright holders. i intended no true infringement on their copyrights; i only wanted to borrow these marvelous characters for a short time in my own scenarios and hopefully return them no worse for wear; the only things i've gained from this story are the satisfaction and pleasure of having written it and in knowing that others may have enjoyed it too…

rating: pg-13

summary: after meeting drake, the good ex-demon, phoebe finds closure…

timeline: the night of the final events of season 7's, 'carpe demon'…

archive: please don't without expressed permission…

notes: i came up with this idea pretty much as the episode's credits were rolling and knew i'd have to interrupt, 'yes, phoebe there is a utopia' in order to write it up…there are references to events from season 7's 'charmageddon,' season 3's 'sleuthing with the enemy,' season 5's 'legend of sleepy halliwell,' season 7's 'witchness protection,' and season 3's 'all halliwell's eve'…please let me know if you enjoyed my tale and why and, if not, why not…and, please, don't bother wasting your time or mine by sending any flames…

Part One

Wrapped in Leo's arms as they made their way to the stairs, Piper murmured, "Did we lock the door?"

Busy kissing her, he barely managed to say, "Since when're you worried about locked doors?"

"Leo…" she admonished but didn't make an attempt to break from his arms. Standing at the landing, gazing into his eyes, she nearly missed the soft amber glow coming from the living room. Then, giggling softly from Leo's feathery kisses upon her neck, she gently pushed him back. "Someone left a fire going."

"That's nice," he murmured distractedly as his fingers slid underneath her blouse.

Piper responded by kissing him intensely but soon pulled back for air, "I should put it out before we go up."

"Hmmm," he considered, leaning forward and nibbling on her ear, "or maybe we should take advantage of it. You remember the nights we spent in front of a fire, don't you?"

She moaned softly and ran her fingers through his hair. "That was more than two children ago…"

"So?"

Piper's eyes widened with pleasure, "You're right. We're not dead and -" She caught Leo's raised eyebrow but immediately continued, "Well, not all of us…you're right, why shouldn't we take advantage of the fire? It's still Valentine's Day, isn't it?"

"Actually," Leo snuck a peek at his watch, "it hasn't been for an hour or so but I'm glad to see you're still in the holiday spirit."

She gave him a quick peck on the cheek and led him by the hand to the living room, "Seize the day, that's what we're doing."

He yanked her back into his arms and murmured as he kissed her, "That's not all I hope you'll be seizing,"

"Leeeeo," she purred, relishing in this passionate side of himself he rarely showed anymore.

"Come on," he decided, leading the way. He stopped short when he discovered Phoebe sitting on the floor in front of the fire. "Phoebe…"

"Pheebs," Piper greeted in surprise, "it's late. I figured everyone was in bed." But her sister didn't turn around and she glanced at Leo. "Phoebe? Everything okay?"

Phoebe continued to stare into the dying flames. Dying. Just like Drake. A bright impulsive spirit about to be reduced to nothing but black ash. "It's not fair," she whispered.

"What's not?" Piper questioned with a worried frown her sister couldn't see.

"Drake is dying," Phoebe replied without turning around.

"Can former demons get sick when they still have their powers?" Piper wondered, exchanging a concerned glance with Leo.

"He's not sick," Phoebe shook her head. "It's part of the deal he made with the Sorcerer."

"I'm not sure I understand," Piper admitted. "I thought the Sorcerer made him human allowing him to keep his demonic powers unless he used them within the year."

"He did," Phoebe nodded, bringing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. The flames were flickering but she couldn't bring herself to feed them by adding another log. "But there was an extra clause Drake 'forgot' to mention to us. He dies at the end of the year. Might not end up in purgatory as penalty for using his powers but he dies just the same. He dies, Piper. He only has two weeks left."

Piper was silent a moment before she quietly realized, "I guess the Sorcerer came up with a win/win situation. He figured he'd end up with Drake's powers when Drake failed to remain good. But even if Drake didn't give into temptation and he couldn't gain Drake's powers, he'd still make sure Drake couldn't continue to do good with Drake dying."

"Drake obviously thought being human for even a year was worth it," Leo commented. "But he just got the job at Magic School, something he really wanted. Is he okay with what's about to happen?"

"Said even if he could change only one student's single day it'd be worth it," Phoebe nodded.

"We vanquished the Sorcerer," Piper turned to Leo, "wouldn't that void the deal?"

Leo shook his head, "The deal was made in good faith, regardless of the Sorcerer's fate."

"Good faith?" Piper snorted. "The Sorcerer kidnapped Miss Donovan and tried to force Drake into using his powers for evil. How's that good faith?"

Leo shrugged, "The deal itself was fair and agreed to by both parties. Drake knew and accepted the terms while the Sorcerer genuinely believed Drake would fail. It wasn't until the year was almost over that he realized he'd misjudged Drake and made the attempt to trick Drake."

Phoebe suddenly got to her feet, "I need some air."

"What? Phoebe, it's too late to go out now. You've had a long day and you've got work tomorrow."

"I'll be okay," Phoebe assured her older sister. "Besides, Elise told me to come in late, me being a hero and all." She shoved her hands in her jeans' pockets, "Some hero…"

Piper reached out and pulled her younger sister into a hug. "I'm sorry, sweetie. I know Drake made an impression on both you and Paige. And, I'll admit, he did help me realize I've been overreacting a bit to Leo's impending doom…"

Leo frowned, "Piper…"

Piper pulled away from her sister and reached for Leo's hand, "Sorry, honey, I know I said I wouldn't worry anymore 'bout what the Elders have in store for you. I did pretty well the last couple of hours, didn't I?"

Phoebe noticed the squeeze Leo gave her sister's hand and she kissed Piper's cheek, "Have fun you two. You deserve it."

"Phoebe!" When her sister turned back, Piper cautioned, "You can't save him. He's going to die so don't get involved. You haven't even known him twenty-four hours and it's not like you're in love with him."

"No," Phoebe sadly agreed, "but I sure like him a lot."

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At the plaza, Phoebe stared up at John Norman's office window now covered with plywood. All those years as a demon and Drake had avoided killing innocents. Almost a full year as a human and he'd still resisted temptation. Until today when the Sorcerer tricked him into using his deadly powers and he'd narrowly missed killing an innocent. She shivered when the image of Norman crashing through the window flashed through her mind. It was sheer luck that Norman hadn't exploded right away from Drake's fireball and it was a miracle he'd been able to grab onto the window ledge and hold on while she struggled to pull him back into his office.

"Awfully late for you to be hanging around here alone."

Phoebe jumped at the familiar voice and held her hand to her heart, "Inspector Sheridan, what're you doing here?"

"I believe I'm asking you the same thing," she calmly replied.

"Just doing some thinking," Phoebe shrugged.

"And you had to do that in the middle of the night at the scene of the crime? You really are a strange one." Phoebe seemed taken aback so she apologized. "First day back on the job wasn't what I'd expected."

"Getting shot with an arrow didn't help, I guess," Phoebe murmured.

"Not exactly a highlight, no. Even if my mother did say it'd make a great story for the grandkids, when she finally gets them," the Inspector mildly complained.

Phoebe smiled, believing she could almost like the Inspector if she didn't have to worry about the woman's memories concerning the investigation into the Halliwells being triggered into returning. "Still don't believe me though, huh?"

"Kidnapped and taken on a motorcycle ride by some guy dressed as Robin Hood who threatens to steal from the rich and give to the poor by taking on the phone company? Who then sets off a bomb in the office of the company's president before disappearing without a trace? Not too far-fetched for you?"

"I guess it does seem a little out of the ordinary," Phoebe conceded.

"Just a little, Ms. Halliwell." The Inspector acknowledged Phoebe's pale countenance in the moonlight, "Maybe you should've accepted the offer to speak to one of the counselors. You're probably suffering a delayed reaction."

"About two years delayed," Phoebe whispered. The tall blond officer seemed confused but Phoebe shook her head, "Never mind, long story."

"Maybe we both just need a good night's sleep," the Inspector suggested.

Phoebe nodded and turned back to her car. But she stopped herself and faced the Inspector again. "Inspector? You ever come across a suspect who fit a certain profile for certain wrongdoings but he actually turned out to be innocent even though he still had the capacity to do those wrongdoings at any time?"

"Maybe once or twice," she nodded in confusion. "Mostly, though, I find that if he fits the profile, then it's only a matter of time before he eventually does screw up and is caught for the crime. Why?"

"Once a demon, always a demon," Phoebe murmured sadly.

"Are you all right?"

"Not really," Phoebe admitted. "I got some news that a…friend doesn't have long to live and I'm trying to sort some things out."

"I'm sorry," Inspector Sheridan sincerely replied. "I guess a day like today really puts death in perspective."

"He has so much more to give," Phoebe quietly said as tears stung her eyes, "I can't believe he won't have a chance."

"Sounds like he's already made a difference. Be grateful for that. Cherish it. Remember it."

"Thank you," Phoebe said in a choked voice.

"Can you get home okay?"

Phoebe nodded and touched the woman's hand, "Thank you. Get home safe."

"You too," the Inspector called out after Phoebe.

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Phoebe's hand shook causing the flashlight's beam to create new shadows as it bounced along the concrete stairs. She used her other hand to steady herself and she scanned the mausoleum below her. She couldn't believe she'd come back and, yet, another part of her couldn't believe she hadn't come back earlier. When she reached the bottom, she closed her eyes and inhaled, wishing she could smell his cologne instead of the stagnant air.

"Oh, Cole," she sighed as she sat on the bottom step. She shut off the flashlight and hugged her knees, resting her chin on them. She'd left the mausoleum door open and only the palest of light shone down the stairs. As her eyes grew accustomed to the darkness, she tried to picture Cole standing before her. "I've been so lost," she told him. "For a long time now. But Drake…In just a few hours, Drake's made me see what I've been doing to myself, to you."

She sniffled and continued, "It was so exciting in the beginning, y'know. Fighting evil and saving innocents. We were making a difference. But somewhere along the way it changed. Evil and innocents weren't simple issues of black and white. And acknowledging the difference came with a terrible price."

Phoebe squeezed her eyes shut as the images of those she'd lost in the past several years appeared in quick succession before her. These people she'd loved and lost had saved her from making a costly mistake believing in the Avatars. Innocents who'd paid the price for fighting evil, who'd still managed to save her from causing other innocents to pay. It was a burden she'd have to live with for the rest of her life. "I'm sorry," she whispered before angrily flinging the flashlight across the chamber.

"How's this fair?" she screamed. "Drake wanted to make a difference! Kyle wanted to make a difference. Prue wanted to make a difference. And they're dead!" she cried. "You're dead…" She rubbed away the tears from her cheeks, "And I didn't let you make a difference. I abandoned you and failed you when you needed me. Just like I failed them."

"You didn't fail me. And you didn't fail them."

Phoebe gasped and looked up and had to shield her eyes from the bright light before her. It quickly faded and there he was, standing before her. "Cole?"

He turned around and sought the flashlight before returning it to her. Stunned she stared at it before looking back up at him. "You're here?"

He nodded, "I've been waiting."

"Here?" she uttered as she looked around the mausoleum with dismay.

He smiled and shook his head, knelt in front of her, reached out with his fingertip to touch her heart, and corrected, "Here."

She held her breath a moment as she realized that she could actually feel him. With a trembling hand, she slowly covered his hand with hers and brought up her gaze to meet his after he proved to remain solid. With a cry, she launched herself into his arms and sobbed.

Thrown off-balance, Cole managed to keep his arms around Phoebe as they fell back. And, as she cried into his neck, he tightened his embrace and buried his face in her hair.

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He wasn't sure how she found the spot in the dark but he stood behind her while she knelt in front of it. "You believed in me then, Phoebe. That's why you couldn't kill me."

"I loved you," she stated. "You'd already had dozens of opportunities to kill me but you didn't. And then, right here, you killed Krell to save me. And I set you free. Why couldn't you stay away? Why couldn't you start a new life for yourself?"

"Because I loved you," he replied, reaching out for her, "and because a new life would've meant nothing to me if you weren't there to share in it."

Phoebe accepted his help to stand and stared at their clasped hands, "Oh, Cole, I never thought loving you would bring so much pain. You should've left when you had the chance. Maybe you'd still be here."

"And maybe I'd still be evil," he countered. "Maybe it was too ingrained in me, too much a part of me to overcome. How many chances did I have, Phoebe? How many chances to prove that I was good? That I could overcome the temptations, help innocents, and make a difference."

"You did," she insisted as a sob hitched in her throat. "You did make a difference, Cole! Even if it was for one person in a single day…even if it was just for me…"

He smiled, "Then it was worth it, Phoebe. If you can look me in the eyes and tell me I mattered, then it was all worth it."

"Oh, baby," she threw herself into his arms, "you mattered. You mattered!"

"I love you, Phoebe," he whispered before his lips found hers.

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