STRIVING TO SILENCING DEMONS

Disclaimer: Chances are anything you recognise doesn't belong to me and likely is the legacy of ACD.

Summary: While striving unsuccessfully to silence demons in one fashion it is often that the true solution becomes apparent.

Authors Note: While I've been writing fanfic for quite some time this is my first attempt at SH and more generally the first person narrative. Be kind grin but constructive criticism warmly welcome.

Enjoy

xLx

I am not certain for whom I write this account, for I know that these events are permanently etched in my own mind and ever will be. I also know beyond all doubt however, that I will never publish this tale, the true story that is still having rippling consequences in my life today. Holmes may in the past have accused me of defiling the world's impression of him by surrounding the facts of his deductions with romance and excitement, despite my protests to the contrary, but I never would, simply could not, show this side of him to his adoring public. He is a man of many facets, and I genuinely believe that after all the long years of our acquaintance I have only recently realised how much of this man I still struggle hopelessly to understand.

I cannot say exactly when the events that lead up to what finally occurred began, as I do not know myself, but I shall start my account on a February evening, perhaps a year after I had first taken over the medical practice I now call my own. Despite the amicable annulment of my engagement, I had chosen not to move back to 221b Baker Street but had continued to keep my own house. I did however visit my friend and sometimes colleague, as often as I was on that side of town and could spare the time. However, time was something I had found in short supply over the last few weeks. As seemed always to be the case at that time of year, the surgery had been inundated with patients. Thus said, I hadn't found the time to stop by my former residence in almost a month, so when I passed the end of the road at about nine o'clock on the cold, damp Thursday night in question I naturally thought to knock on the door and to share a pipe with Holmes before my next appointment.

I could never be sure whether I would find Holmes at home or not no matter what time of day I called by at, but having heard of nothing in the papers that I thought would be absorbing him, I judged that time to be as good as any to try. Almost as soon as I had wrung the bell, Mrs Hudson opened the door and ushered me in. I was immediately struck by her apparent agitation, unusual in the landlady who must have become used to seeing all kinds of strange goings on and unlikely people at her front door at all hours of the day.

"Are you quite well Mrs Hudson?" I asked when we stood in the warmth of the hallway.

"I am quite fine Doctor, though I fear I cannot say the same for Mr Holmes." She replied in her distinctive Scottish lilt.

"Is Holmes unwell?" I asked, not for the first time fearing what he might have caught while frequenting one of the less reputable parts of the city at all hours of the night, especially in the despicable weather we had been treated to of late.

"I don't know if I would put it like that." She began, looking around her for the prying ears of some of the younger help. "Mr Holmes went out only half an hour ago, but I would be obliged if you'd spare me a minute of your time." She said indicating to the drawing room door. Taking off my hat, I followed her in without further questioning closing the door behind me. She sat herself down on a chair and signalled that I should do the same before she straightened out an invisible crease in her skirt.

"I suppose that it isn't really my business Dr Watson, but I'm worried about him." She stated plainly. "I can't be certain when his last case ended, but I know I haven't had anyone call for him in more than a fortnight. In any case, you know how he gets when he's left to stew." I nodded for I was well acquainted with the dark and brooding moods that her lodger was prone to fall into when not adequately stimulated. "Tonight's the first night he's been out of his rooms since Friday and well…" She was fingering something but her hand was in the shadow and I couldn't see what it was. "You know well enough that he doesn't let me near his rooms when he's like this so I thought when he was away I would go in, just to change the sheets and empty the bins." She added.

"Well no-one could you ever accuse you of not being dedicated to your job." I said lightly. After all, she had certainly taken her life in her hands with her actions.

"Hmmm, well it's just not natural the state he lets things get into… But I found something…" She paused again before lifting her hand to reveal what it was she had been holding. Between finger and thumb she held a small glass vile, which caught the light from the gas lamp behind her. I recognised it instantly for what it was, would have recognised it anywhere for I worked with them day and night, though I knew that this one had come from Holmes' Moroccan case and had up until recently, I suspected, held that damned 7 solution which plagued him. It was hardly the first time that I was aware of Holmes dabbling with the drug but as ever the knowledge was like a lump of ice in the pit of my stomach.

I had suspected for quite some time that Mrs Hudson wasn't nearly as naïve about her lodger's habits and proclivities as the casual observer might have supposed, but there was no condemnation in her eyes. This might have been due to a lack of understanding but yet I felt certain that there was more to it than that.

"I don't mean to interfere and Lord knows Mr Holmes is grown enough and masterful enough to take charge of his own life… Or at least he ought to be, but he hasn't been eating right, and now this… I'd feel much better knowing you had spoken to him…"

"Well I'll see what I can do." I said, purposefully not making any promises. After all of these years, I knew good and well that I wouldn't be able to exert any drastic effect on the 'masterful' Sherlock Holmes. Glancing at the clock on the mantel, I realised that I was going to have to leave if I was to get to my pre-arranged appointment. "I'm afraid," I said standing. "That I have to be on my way. If I can get away from my patient before too long I'll come back tonight, otherwise I'll be around first thing in the morning." She nodded, and I could see the relief in her posture. "I saw one of the irregulars outside, I'll speak to him and make sure that there's someone you can send should you need me before then." I added for good measure and with this she straightened and became the indomitable landlady that I know.

"Well thank you Dr Watson. I'll bare that in mind." She said leading me back out. After she'd opened the front door and I was about to step out into the chill night air she touched my arm though, just enough to attract my attention. "You wont tell him that I've spoken to you? Will you?" The earnest look on her face shocked me a little at the time but none the less I understood the reason behind her plea.

"Of course not." I replied honestly before tipping my hat to her and heading on my way.