Chapter Twenty-Four
Emotions
It had been over two hours since Dumbledore had left the room to go find Draco's body and honestly, Harry was pissed. He couldn't believe that it could take that long to do whatever it is that you do with a dead body. Harry meant no disrespect, but in the last two hours he had gone through so many emotions that he was now sitting there, this cold hard emotionless-looking being. Although just because he looked emotionless didn't mean he was emotionless. Harry had so many different feelings swirling inside of him that he felt sick.
Sitting there, looking at the portraits yelling silently at him (he had cast a silencing charm on them about ten minutes after Dumbledore left), he would feel an emotion rip into his heart and then suddenly it left. Then a few moments later another emotion would rip into his heart. And thus the situation continued.
Harry didn't like these emotions. He didn't think he was worthy enough to feel some of them. He kept looking at his watch, thinking of Ginny. Thinking of Ginny made him think of love. Then thinking of love made him feel guilty about feeling love because of Draco. Then Draco made him think of Slytherin and Slytherin made him think of Blaise, thus feeling even more guilt.
Harry sighed and looked up at the roof. He wanted nothing more then to feel nothing. He just wanted to be this emotionless being. He tried looking emotionless to see if that would help, but so far it hadn't. He couldn't believe how hard it was to not be human.
Harry frowned at his own thoughts then. If he wasn't human what could he be? He closed his eyes and pictured all sorts of animals trying to think of an emotionless one. But then again. Every animal still has emotions right? A sheep bleats for its mother to protect it and the as soon as the mother sheep hears it she comes running. She feels needed. She loves her little lamb and would protect it. Oh yes animals do feel.
Harry leant forward and rested his forehead on Dumbledore's big wooden desk, closing his eyes. How much he would love to have an axe right now. Hell he'd prefer to face Voldemort right now. He felt that three things would happen if he stumbled across Voldemort right now. He would either, kill Voldemort, be killed, or be kept and tortured. He felt like he deserved the last one. He couldn't believe how guilty he felt about Draco's death.
He wanted to reverse time and. Harry suddenly sat up quickly, his eyes shooting open and his heart pounding heavily in his chest. A time turner. He needed a time turner. Harry leapt up from his chair and straight to Dumbledore's office door. There he paused and turned towards the fire.
"The Ministry has time turner's" he whispered as his eyes focused on Dumbledore's pot of floo powder. He raised his wand and shouted for all the portraits to hear.
"Accio invisibility cloak". He waiting impatiently as he tapped his foot on the marble around the fireplace. He looked up to the window just in time to see his cloak come flying through. He caught it swiftly, wrapped it around himself and grabbed a pinch of floo powder. He threw it into the fire and was off to the Ministry.
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Ginny Weasley stirred from her sleeping position on the couch she basically created in the room of requirement. She rolled over onto her side lazily, only succeeding in falling straight off the couch. She landed with an 'oof' and then sighed with her eyes still closed. She pushed herself up to her knees and blinked her eyes open. That's when she noticed that she was in the room of requirement. She frowned and then last night came back to her. She waited for hours for Harry to show up, before finally falling asleep on the couch. She gasped as her heart clenched painfully inside her chest. Harry had stood her up again.
Ginny blinked back tears that threatened to spill as she stood up and threw her glass of butterbeer into the fire. It shattered into a hundred pieces and she heard the hissing of the fire. She blinked again and this time the tears fell. Feeling unhappy with herself she slumped onto the couch and angrily brushed the tear tracks away. She wouldn't cry over Harry. He wasn't worth it.
But deep down inside of her, Ginny Weasley knew that her heart did not agree with her head. She loved Harry. It wasn't some small little crush like everyone thought. It was full fledged love and it made her feel so many different emotions that she didn't know what to do anymore. She wanted him here. She wanted him here so that she could yell at him, scream at him, punch him, kiss him, hug him, and love him. She didn't know when she fell this deeply in love with the boy who lived, but she needed him.
Ginny sighed and stood. As she walked towards the door she thought to herself 'there is no way that he is getting away with this one.'
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Harry Potter fell out of the fire and landed in a tangled mess in the floo chamber of the ministry of magic. His invisibility cloak was covering all of him still thank Merlin. He was lucky. He looked up and saw a group of guards leaning against a wall directly across from him. He knew there would be guards. He just couldn't understand why none of them had seen his fire light up. Oh well. No bother thinking about that now, he just hoped he could get up and across the chamber to the door that he knew lead to the fountain, without notifying the guards.
Harry took a deep breath and heaved himself up quietly. He made sure to grip the cloak around him. He couldn't afford to lose it now. That would be disastrous.
With both feet planted on the ground and Harry still in a crouched position, he heard a footstep behind him. He looked up and almost cried out in fright. There was a guard looking around him, looking for the passenger that came into the ministry.
Harry stopped breathing. Why on earth didn't he think of a notice me not spell? Honestly. He was losing his touch.
The guard raised his wand and started an incantation that would show any living thing in the room. Covered or not. Harry's eyes widened and his heart stopped. He raised his wand and cast the first spell that came to him.
"Imperio," The guard stopped half way through the spell and Harry opened his eyes in shock. Why did he have to use that spell of all spells?
Harry shook his head and commanded in his head for the guard to go over to the others and make up a plausible excuse as to why the fire lit up how it did.
Harry watched in satisfaction as the guards relaxed back against the wall. He turned and cast two spells on himself, a notice me not spell and a silencing charm, before dashing across the hall and out through the door.
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The Slytherin common room was strangely subdue for this time of year. Normally it would be loud. Boisterous. But today it was so quiet. The normally green and silver tapestries were charmed black in mourning for their beloved prince.
Blaise Zabini sat in a corner, her childhood teddy bear clutched in her arms. She didn't care what people thought of her. She wanted comfort, and her teddy was the only thing that was available. Normally she would have gone up to Harry and hugged him. But of course he didn't love her. She wasn't anything but sex. Sex on legs.
Blaise laughed bitterly and looked over at the fire across the room. There were so many Slytherin's huddled around it, mourning. She shook her head and sighed. They didn't know him. What he was really like. Then again. Neither did she.
She always knew there was something deeper to Draco Malfoy then meets the eye. But she had no idea what it was. She thought Harry might. Those two had gotten a lot closer since Harry became a Slytherin. Since Harry became a Death Eater.
Blaise sighed and turned her back on the mourners over by the fire. She clutched her teddy bear to her chest and blink. A single tear ran down her cheek and she brushed it away angrily. She wouldn't cry. Slytherin's didn't cry. Heck, Slytherin's didn't clutch teddy bears.
Blaise threw the teddy down and it sped away to her dormitory where it lay to rest on her pillow. She stood and walked over to the people over at the fire, ready to tell them off for mourning a person they didn't even know, when Professor Snape and Professor Dumbledore walked down from the dorms, holding between them a stretcher covered in a sheet.
Blaise let out a sob as they passed her with somber expressions. Fuck the Slytherin rules. Since when was it necessary to bottle your emotions? Especially when they brought the body of your friend through the very room you were trying to forget about them in.
Blaise looked down at the little first years and sat beside one of them. A small girl by the name of Melissa Whitby. Blaise took her hand in her own and smiled sadly at the crying girl.
"It's ok." She whispered as she pulled the girl closer.
"It'll be ok."
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Harry stood in front of the time turners, a churning feeling running through his stomach. He didn't know which one to pick. There were hundreds lying in front of him. He guessed the ministry must have restocked them since the last time he was here in this room.
Harry sighed and tried to read one of them. They just had runes all over them.
"Ok Harry. Focus," He said to himself as he went searching for one that looked like Hermione's.
"Aha," he said when he found a whole row of them. He slipped one over his neck and looked at the device before looking at his watch. He came to the ministry around twelve hours ago. He only hoped he got this right.
Harry turned the little hourglass twelve times and his stomach felt strangely empty.
"Remember, you mustn't be seen." He heard Hermione's voice run through his head as the world around him swirled.
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Hides from all the readers
I AM SO VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY SORRY.
gets down on knees
Please forgive me. The only excuse I can really plead is writers block. I have sat down so many times trying to write this god damned thing and I just couldn't.
So Im so very sorry still
Ok. I have an announcement. The next chapter will be out within 48 hours. I swear to you. And after that chapter I will most probably be finished this story and moving onto the sequel. I want you all to know that I have appreciated all the comments and support that you have given me as a reader.
The reason for a sequel is as follows. I want to be able to have a story about Harry and his parents and Sirius. They need to sort out their relationship a little bit more fully.
I wanted to do this In a new story because I wanted a clean slate. A new plot. And a better storyline. The story line I have right now has gone to pieces, and one day I might rewrite it. But I really doubt that. But never say never right?
Anyway I'll try to get the first chapter of my sequel out within a week, but I really want to make the chapters a lot bigger then what I have here, so it might take two. Im sick of having 2000 words per chapter. I want about 5000 instead.
Anway. I hope you enjoyed reading this. And till the next chapter. MWAH.
Thanks for everything.