Disclaimer: I don't own the FAKE characters. All are property of Sanami Matoh.

Warnings: "Contains depictions of alternate lifestyles. Viewer discretion is advised." ... Or so the back of my FAKE DVD says. Bite me, homophobes.

Summary: Dee is determined to find the perfect Valentine's gift for Ryo, and even goes as far as to recruit Carol's help. Will they succeed?

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-My Perfect Valentine-

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Dee Laytner collapsed on the couch and groaned in aggravation, covering his face with his hands. His jacket was hanging off one shoulder, his shirt was slightly wrinkled, and his hair was badly mussed. He looked like the victim of a stampede. Bikky and Carol barely glanced up from their television programme.

"What's with you, jerk-wad?" Bikky asked absently, not taking his eyes off the cartoon toilet brush which was dancing across the screen.

"Bite me, monkey brat," Dee snarled in response. Bikky stuck his tongue out at Dee and went back to watching the television. Carol, on the other hand, chose to ignore the commercial for Sparkly Bowl. She crawled over to the couch and rested her chin on the arm.

"Is it about Ryo?"

"What makes you think that?" Dee mumbled.

"Hmm..." Carol pretended to think. "Let's see. It's only three days until Valentine's Day, that's what. And as far as I recall, it'll be your first Valentine's Day with Ryo. As an official couple, I mean."

He glared at her from between his fingers, his green eyes narrowed suspiciously. "You're a brat too, sometimes, Princess."

"You look mauled," Carol continued, as if she wasn't listening. She felt 'shagged' was a better word to describe how Dee looked, but thought it best not to say so. "Tough day at the shops?"

"I had to fight my way through forty-three thousand women reading cards slathered with mottoes like 'To My Precious Love-Bunny, From Your Favourite Snuggle-Carrot' and 'I Love You, My Big Hunk Of Beef, And I Love Your Hamburger Buns'. D'you know how damn bloody hard it is to find a Valentine's gift for a boyfriend?" the cop asked angrily, sitting up and fishing his cigarettes from his breast pocket.

"Yes," she replied.

"How about finding one for your boyfriend when you yourself are a boy?" he demanded.

"That might be a challenge." Carol played absently with the end of her ponytail.

"Bet your ass it is. Every card I found with 'To My Boyfriend' on it was so frilly and pink it made me retch." He blew smoke towards the ceiling, frustrated. "I can't see why the Hallmark people can't crank out a few cards for gay couples. Is that too much to ask?"

"So the majority of the population's homophobic. You can't let that get you down," Carol urged him.

"That's me!" Bikky shouted rudely, raising his hand. Dee flicked ash at him and mumbled incoherently.

"He still loves sunflowers, you know," Carol continued, ignoring Bikky. "You could get him a nice bouquet of them. Or, I bet he'd melt if you brought him chocolates and roses."

"But those are so... boring," Dee complained. "Average. Mr.-Big-Businessman-Gives-To-Little-Suzy-Homemaker-type gifts." He sighed. "I want to get him something special. Something to let him know how much I love him. Something non-gender particular. But it's really hard. I have no idea what Ryo would think was really special."

Carol tapped her chin with her fingernail. "How about you make him something?"

He stared. "You mean, like the library-paste-and-sparkles construction paper cards I made for Mother in kindergarten? I don't think he'd be impressed."

"Not like that," she said, annoyed. "Make him dinner."

"I've done that already," Dee remembered, thinking of the morning-after breakfast he had made to celebrate himself and Ryo becoming an official couple.

"Something more impressive than scrambled eggs, Dee! Make him a good dessert... you know, pour him wine, feed him stuff dipped in chocolate..." her eyes were gleaming in a very perverted way as she imagined this particular romantic scenario. "Wear leather trousers or something... light candles and play romantic music... he won't even want to waste time moving into the bedroom!"

"Ewww!" Bikky wailed. Dee and Carol ignored him.

Dee stared at the girl. "Where exactly do you hear these kinds of things?"

"All the good magazines - 'Cosmo', 'Redbook', 'Seventeen'..."

"I can't believe they peddle that stuff to thirteen-year-olds," Dee mumbled to himself. Out loud, he said, "But that isn't really a gift. I want him to have something that he can look at and remember me, something that can..."

"Cards are out... maybe... jewelry?"

"He doesn't wear jewelry," Dee whined.

Carol smirked. "He might if you bought it for him, genius."

He stopped whining; his eyes widened. Hastily snuffing out his cigarette, he pulled his jacket back on. "I'll be right back," he said, wrenching the door open. Bikky merely flapped a hand at him in a 'go on, don't let the door hit you on the way out' kind of gesture, but Carol looked startled.

"Hey, wait -"

Too late. He was gone.

"Truly subtle, Carol," Bikky said, never taking his eyes off a singing toaster strudel.

"It worked, didn't it?"

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Ryo entered his apartment on Valentine's Day, and for a moment, thought he had accidentally wandered into someone else's flat.

The living room was dimly lit by several tall, red candles that were giving off a deep, cinnamony smell. The couch had been draped in a red piece of cloth. Two slim wine glasses and a tall bottle of red wine stood on the coffee table, along with a fondue pot full of chocolate and surrounded by slices of fruit. Soft, romantic music was playing in the background.

Wide-eyed, Ryo couldn't make a sound as he slipped off his shoes and ventured forward slowly to admire the effect. He ran a finger along the cloth on the couch, then dipped his fingertip in the chocolate and licked it off. Delicious.

Footsteps sounded, and Ryo turned to see Dee emerging from the kitchen. His jaw scraped the ground. Dee was dressed in black leather trousers that clung lovingly to his thighs, buttocks, and every other detail from the waist down, showcasing his long legs. Every time he moved, the leather creaked softly, and the rivets at the pockets sparkled in the candlelight. He wore a silk shirt of deepest maroon, half-untucked and half-buttoned. Delicious, indeed.

"Happy Valentine's Day, babe." Dee kissed his cheek. Ryo shivered - Dee had reached just the right stage between shaves, and the feel of the light stubble on his cheeks made his lover feel decidedly faint.

"Happy Valentine's, love," he whispered back, putting his arms around Dee. "You didn't have to go all out like this... I mean, I wasn't expecting..."

Dee chuckled softly. "I wanted to. Anything for you, my Ryo."

He took his lover by the hand and led him to the couch. He poured glasses of wine and handed one to Ryo. "Salut."

"Cheers," Ryo said softly, still in shock, and took a sip. It was delicious, one of the better wines he had ever tasted. But something was missing. He glanced around. "Where are the children?"

"I sent them packing. They're at Carol's for the night." Dee nuzzled Ryo's neck, and Ryo shivered again. He put his free hand on the back of Dee's neck, running his fingers through his lover's ebony hair.

"Dee -"

"Shh." Dee smiled, leaning over to dip a strawberry in the fondue pot. "Let's just enjoy this, shall we?" He raised the strawberry to Ryo's lips, feeding it to him, then leaning in for a kiss. Ryo closed his eyes and let himself be drawn into Dee's embrace, savouring the long, sweet kiss.

But Dee pulled away suddenly. "Damn. Almost forgot."

He reached behind one of the couch cushions, and pulled out a small white box. He held it out to Ryo. "Here."

"Oh, Dee -" Ryo protested. "I didn't even get you anything -"

"I don't care." he smiled. "Open it."

Fingers trembling slightly, Ryo untied the red ribbon wrapped around the box and carefully lifted the lid. He unfolded the delicate tissue paper inside, and gasped. For a moment, he couldn't say a word. He just stared down at the pair of rings lying inside the box on a bed of cotton. They were nothing fancy, just simple gold bands, each set with a small diamond, but they were the most beautiful rings he had ever seen.

"Dee -" he whispered. "They're - so gorgeous..."

"You like?" his mate murmured.

"I do," Ryo gasped. He let Dee take one of the rings and gently slip it onto his finger. Dee held his hand for a few seconds, apparently admiring the way the ring looked on Ryo's finger; then he kissed Ryo's hand. Ryo took the other ring from the box and slipped it onto Dee's finger, finally looking up at his lover with tears glistening in his eyes.

"I love you, Ryo," Dee said softly.

"I love you, too, Dee." Ryo closed his eyes and leaned forward to kiss his mate. Dee's strong arms went around his waist, and he was drawn close once more. Their lips parted momentarily, and met again; Dee's hand wandered lovingly down Ryo's thigh. They broke the kiss, but Ryo remained in his lover's arms, resting his head on Dee's shoulder.

"I have one more surprise," Dee whispered. "Come on."

He stood, and instead of having Ryo follow him, picked him up in his arms. He carried his lover to the half-closed door of their bedroom, pushing it open with his foot and nudging it closed once they were inside.

Ryo gasped again - the bedroom was lit by red candles like the ones in the living room, gathered in a half-circle around the bed. A bowl of some kind of sweet, heavenly incense burned on the nightstand. The bed itself was covered by black silk sheets, and rose petals littered the bed and the floor around it. It was like something out of a movie, or perhaps a faerie tale.

"Do you like it, babe?" Dee asked, as he lowered his lover onto the bed.

"Yes," Ryo breathed, putting his arms around Dee' neck as his lover knelt over him. "Yes. I love it. And I love you. It's perfect."

Dee leaned over and blew out some of the candles, making the shadows even more mysterious. They kissed again as they began undressing each other, and the night passed as they made love once, twice, three times. It was truly the perfect Valentine.

The End

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(A/N: This was fun to write! I thought it was a little mean of Ryo not to get Dee anything, but I figured, oh well. Besides, the next day is Lupercalia. They can celebrate that if they want (though neither of them is a werewolf...) As for Dee giving Ryo a ring... a little corny, but I couldn't help it. I really wish Sanami Matoh had written another volume or at least another act, telling us what happened to Dee and Ryo after they became an official couple, and how everyone else reacted. That would have been nice. If I could draw Dee and Ryo, I'd draw the ring scene.)