Randumbness

A/N: Random songs. Random filler chapters. Random musical outbursts. Random all over... This, my friends, is Randumbness.

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Part I - Space Trek

"I swear, we... have to do... SOMEthing..." came Captain Weinstein's voice from the television. It was Saturday morning in Ostia, and Hector was eating Ostia-O's while watching the most idiotic sci-fi thriller/TV series in Ostia: Space Trek. He didn't look like he was enjoying the show or the Ostia-O's.

"Who makes these things?" he asked himself, digging through a pile of trash next to the couch, and pulling out the box. "...Laus Cereal Unlimited..." He blinked. "...Oh."

Uther walked in, then gasped in shock at the complete mess that had once been his living room.

"Cap'n, we've got ta du som'n!" said the Irish navigator, Burly.

Major Implants sighed from her station. "Captain, there are bogeys on our tail; again."

"You're watching that stupid piece of nonsense again?" asked Uther, not pleased and sounding like a shrewish mother (ahem). "I swear, Hector!"

"You swear what?"

"If you don't clean this place up, I'm going to sic Serra on you!" But he'd seen the actual show of Space Trek itself, and, well... Curiousity killed the cat, Uther. In this case, it gave him the biggest mass murder of brain cells known to man.

"Oh, no, we've... GOT to stop this... at once!" said Captain Weinstein, sounding monotonous.

"Oh my God, Hector!" screamed Uther, shielding his eyes. "Why do you watch this?"

"Eh." shrugged Hector, gulping down some orange-juice.

"Milord, I've returned from spying and/or stealing," said Matthew, entering and speaking quickly.

"...Wha?"

"Nothing," said Matthew suspiciously innocently, standing upright and crossing his arms behind his back in a diplomatic stance. "So..." His eyes shifted over to the television, where he winced in either pain or pity. "Finally set eyes upon what yonder young lordling watches in his spare time?"

"Unfortunately, yes," groaned Uther, leaving the room. "I'm gonna take a nap- don't disturb me! Or steal anything"

"Aww," came Matthew prompt reply, as he shuffled away sadly. Then he re-entered the room, shifted his eyes around, and stole a Guiding Ring. Why? I dunno, really. It's not like he needs it...

"Babe. I've got... you, babe. Only... you, babe." said Captain Weinstein, sounding like William Shatner.

"...This is stupid..." said Hector, looking for the remote.

Serra entered the room, her hair up in curlers. She yawned, took one glance at Hector, then at the TV and squealed, hopping up and down.

"Oooh, I love this show!" she said, plopping herself down on the couch next to Hector, who just kept watching the stupidest show in Elibe. "Is this the episode where Major Implants admits her undying love for General Franz?"

"...Yeah, I think it is," mumbled Hector, contorting his face into one that showed deep thought. Hey, how did we get cable? What is cable? What's sci-fi, anyway? Why did the author introduce all of this to us? Is she evil? (pauses) Yeah, she is. "Yeah, see? She's just gotten on one knee an' pulled out the ring."

"I swear, General Franz..." said the voice of Major Implants. "If we make it out of this alive... I just want to know... Will you take my hand in marriage?"

Serra looked on the verge of tears, but Hector just munched on his Ostia-O's.

"This is sooo sweet!" sniffed Serra, wiping a tear away.

"I... I... I do, Major Implants!" came General Franz's voice, sounding overjoyed.

"It's like All My Servants meets Metroid," commented Hector.

"Mm-hmm," nodded the cleric.

Just then, Oswin walked into the room, looking very put out. He practically flung himself down onto the couch, causing Serra to bounce about three feet into the air before coming down. Hector eyed his general before speaking.

"What's gotten under your armor?" asked the young lordling.

"Freaking duh, Lord Hector!" snapped Oswin, sounding a lot like Serra. "I've just gotten back from a really, really long walk around the town, and you ask me what's gotten under my armor! GOD, it's like talking to a three-year-old!"

Hector and Serra were silent. Serra looked to be on the verge of tears again, while Hector just stared at Oswin.

"Geez, Oswin, just a walk?" laughed the lordling, slapping his general on the back. He shook off the pain in his hand after a sickening 'crack'ing sound came from the direction of his hand meeting the armor. "I wouldn't've guessed!"

"Of course you wouldn't, milord, you're a dingbat," said Oswin.

"That was straightforward," commented Serra.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" screamed Captain Weinstein. There was an explosion from the television.

Serra gasped, threw herself over the TV and sobbed. Hector cocked an eyebrow. Oswin sighed and rubbed his temples.

"This is going to be a loooooong Saturday..."

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END OF PART I

So. Did you like it? Did you not? You sure? Review and I'll add more! (in a sing-song voice) I'm gonna not compensate you!