Atrophied Illusion

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Summary: Sometimes it takes losing everything to realize you had anything in the first place.

A/N: One of those annoying 'We're in for the long haul' sorts of fics. You'll have to excuse me for slapping Sasuke around repeatedly, but damn that boy's a total whiner. The fact that I'm writing the story from his third-person-limited POV speaks volumes about the extent of my masochism, oy.

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Chapter One;

Dwelling in the Chapel of Sin.

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"So, am I your prisoner, then?"

That, surprisingly enough, earned him a bit of a frown from Uzumaki Naruto, flat-lipped and entirely too serious. Or perhaps not serious enough. There was a bruise on his cheek, a paling shadow that had yet to heal. Or maybe it was just the poor lighting, his mind playing tricks on him. The greater injury, Sasuke knew, wasn't external. Wouldn't even be visible to a Hyuuga's superior vision. And of course, Naruto would never admit that it was there, a small festering wound somewhere too deep to be called his heart and too guarded to be his soul.

Sasuke sneered at him, shifted in his bonds and wondered when dead last had learned to tie knots quite so well, or to such great effect.

Naruto's look changed, softened somewhat, and he leaned over and loosened the ropes about his wrists. "No," he said firmly. "Not my prisoner." His grin was back, tempered with something not quite steel, but hard and unbreakable just the same. "Just a stupid bastard."

Sasuke twisted his hands, trying to restore his circulation. "You know I'll go back to him. He needs me—" And how strange that sounded, coming from his lips. The words were automatic, prolific. They came unheeded and could hardly leave the same.

"So do we!" Naruto's eyes flashed, for a moment showing a hint of Kyuubi-crimson, and Sasuke bit off the rest of his sentence to stew in silence. Naruto, however, wasn't finished. "We've needed you for the last three years, Sasuke! You were supposed to care about us and instead you abandoned us for—for—for what!"

Sasuke didn't meet his eyes. Couldn't, almost. He moved again, staring resolutely anywhere but the boy with the demon inside him. The walls of the small shack were boring, no help there. He couldn't see out the window, though he could feel the breeze, light and free. A lone spider scuttled across the floor and into a crack. What was it running from?

Naruto seemed to have calmed down, which although a welcome change, wasn't reassuring. He'd always been the volatile one. "So," he started again, not bitter, but hurt, and somehow that was worse. No matter what Sasuke had said, no matter what he'd done, Naruto wouldn't retaliate with intentional cruelty. Physical pain wasn't what Sasuke was after. He wanted the sort of pain that would keep him awake at night, poignant and prominent, the scouring of a soul he didn't think he had. Naruto, oblivious to his inner turmoil, continued, "So I'm going to take you back to Konoha if it kills us both to do it. If I have to drag you back, Sasuke, I will. Or carry you. Whatever I have to do, I'll do it."

Sasuke gave him a calculating look. Naruto had changed, most definitely. And even in three years, they hadn't grown as apart as Sasuke might have liked. His eyes were still a best friend's eyes, his emotion still as real and as heartfelt as it had been that day on the borderlands. Some part of him, buried and quiescent, had known and never forgotten what he'd left behind. Friendship, love. A wealth of relations that should have been hoarded like dragon's gold. Instead he'd cast aside an entire fortune in feelings and went looking for something he knew would leave him irreparably shattered. In his own way, he was as stubborn as Naruto. He couldn't, wouldn't give up. The world could fall to hell around him, ashes and absinthe, and he'd stay alive for one reason and one reason only. Revenge.

Maybe he'd let himself get captured on purpose.

Or maybe he was just getting slow.

Naruto stood up, paced. If he would have had a tail, Sasuke wagered that it'd be flicking back and forth right now, like some sort of caged beast. Ironically, it wasn't too far from the truth. Every so often the blonde boy would pause and look out the window of their little retreat, and then his hands would clench and his pacing would resume and he'd mutter under his breath things that Sasuke couldn't hear.

Well, he didn't have to hear it. Not when he had the Sharingan. So he fell back upon the age-old curse that had –in a sense- stolen his life and read his lips instead.

Sakura-chan, where are you? You promised you and Kakashi would be here. Where, where, where…?

Sasuke thought he'd forgotten more than he remembered about Team Seven, but apparently he was wrong. Memories roiled in his mind like a nest of eels, electric and volatile. Kakashi was still a lazy teacher, almost to the point of ineptitude, until he got in a fight. And there he was so deadly that there were few who could tangle with him and survive. And there was Sakura, a foolish girl with a childhood crush, and the last night he'd seen her crept unbidden to his mind, a pitiful offering before an altar wrought of misery. She'd begged him not to go. And just how many nights had she cried herself to sleep after he left, because she hadn't been good enough…?

"Where is she?" he asked abruptly of Naruto, who stopped, rubbed at the back of his neck. Removed his forehead protector and tried not to fidget. Failed valiantly, like he should have so many times before. Sasuke wouldn't have let him fall all the way. He would have caught him. Could have saved him. He wanted to be somebody's savior. In a cruel twist of reverse irony, it seemed that everyone was always trying to save him instead. He could have hated the world for that alone.

"Who?" Naruto inquired innocently, as if he didn't know. He'd defended Sakura once to Sasuke already since their reconciliation. Punched him and told –reminded- him how much he'd hurt her. Demanded that he apologize, and didn't bother leaving the 'Or I'll kick your damned ass' unspoken.

"Sakura, idiot."

"Oh. Uh…I don't know. They'll be back soon. We're supposed to wait here until they do, and then Sakura can heal you." He gestured unrepentantly at Sasuke's broken leg, where he himself had snapped it. It was a vicious break, and although Naruto had bound it, blood seeped through the covering and stained the jacket that he'd used to tie it with. Sasuke had tried to stay unaware of it until now, but the injury –once acknowledged- started throbbing again. He scowled.

The fight had been nothing short of glorious, he was sure. The sort that sparked legends, inspired epic ballads. Absently, he wondered who'd be regarded as the quintessential 'villain'. Hah, one guess. Even so. Naruto, who healed far faster than he did, had been badly injured as well. But this time…this time, he'd won. Not quite so dead-last any more. In fact, he was probably above Jounin-level.

But then, so was Sasuke. And as both had been trained by their respective sennin counterparts…

It had been brutal, bloody, and had taken several hours to resolve. The forest in which they'd tangled was now a crater, from the combined meshing of Chidori and Rasengan. Sasuke almost didn't remember why they'd fought in the first place, save that even after all this time, Naruto still cared. Enough to come looking for him, enough to risk his life again. There could be such a thing as caring too much, he realized. And Naruto didn't know how not to. He gave and he gave and he never asked for anything in return because he'd never had anyone to ask before. He'd do anything for his friends, for the people he loved. Up to and including dragging them back from the brink of their own damnation.

And now they were here in a run-down, ancient place, exhausted and exalted, fresh from the fighting that they couldn't stay away from. Sasuke was tied to a chair and Naruto was tied to his destiny, bonds they both tried to ignore. Bonds they both knew they had to acknowledge sooner or later.

Naruto leaned against the wall. "I'm hungry," he announced unequivocally, probably more for something to say than to actually spark a conversation. His stomach rumbled as though to prove his point, and Sasuke pursed his lips with ill-concealed contempt.

"That doesn't surprise me. Idiot."

Naruto grinned at him, a legitimate, 'hey, we're friends, right?' sort of grin. Sasuke could have forgotten right there that they were supposed to be enemies, that they'd tried to kill each other. He could have forgotten the years they'd spent estranged, buried them amongst the skeletons of their past. It would have been so easy to slip back into routine and familiarity and kinship. And then Naruto spoke again, and Sasuke lost the thread of pleasant illusion, jerked back unceremoniously to the cold cruel world.

"So…how long until that bastard has to do the…y'know…switch. …Thing. Eh?" Leave it to Naruto to be eloquent.

Sasuke almost flinched, controlled it at the last second and turned it into a nonchalant shrug. "Within twenty-four hours."

"Yes!" Naruto hissed triumphantly. "We're gonna get the bastard this time! I'll kick his ass for sure, as soon as you're back in Konoha, and everyone's all right!" He wanted everything to be the same. Naruto thrived under change and adversity, but it was no secret that he was fond of stability and security. He probably didn't wish to undo the past-it wasn't his style- but he'd sure as hell re-write the future, if he could.

Sasuke wanted to kill him for being so blindly optimistic. His reflexes were almost conditioned. There were two chairs in the room, one of which Sasuke was occupying, the other Naruto had been using earlier was now empty. Sasuke kicked it with his good leg, as hard as he could, and even though Naruto stopped it, the message was clear, scrawled in blood-red technicolor. I'll stop you.

Naruto's grin faded slightly.

"You're a real jerk, Sasuke," he said abruptly, cheer returned full force. "I've missed you."

"Shut up! Shut up, Naruto! You haven't missed me! You never knew me!"

"Oh?" With a sort of caution that he hadn't possessed three years ago, Naruto peered out the cabin's lone window, in both directions, before glancing back to Sasuke. He re-tied his forehead protector where it belonged, and flicked at one errant spiky bang. "Maybe not. But you're still my brother."

He said it so openly, so honestly, like that word wasn't a knife in the gut to the survivor of the Uchiha clan. But then, he'd never been tactful. Brothers. In blood if not in truth. In tears and rare smiles and pain and rivalry, instead. Sasuke looked away, focused on the pain in his leg. Focus, focus, breathe, and then everything was fine again.

"I don't have to like what you've done," Naruto continued blithely, babbling although he had to know that wasn't what Sasuke wanted to hear. "Really, I don't care. You've always been a jerk. But…you're a jerk that shared your lunch with me, once. And you're a jerk that almost got killed for me. And you're a jerk that was so good at everything that you made me try harder and get better." He flashed a quick thumbs-up. "So stop whining like a girl, Sasuke. Because you're also a jerk that I won't hesitate to gag."

Silence reigned for a time, ambivalent but unavoidable. Every so often, Naruto would open his mouth as if to speak, to ask a question, to say something, but he seemed to think better of it and keep quiet instead. It didn't suit him. So Sasuke kept studying the walls, the floors, and his own awkwardly bound leg. Eventually, when he ran out of things to glower at, he sent a covert look to Naruto.

The damned boy had grown like a weed. Taller than Sasuke now by a handful of centimeters, though far more gangly. His coordination wasn't as bad as it should have been, but then, he was a shinobi. Clumsy shinobi were walking dead. Sasuke was more compact, more lithe. More, he fancied, competent. Although surely Naruto would have attested to that fact. Maybe they would have grappled, maybe he would have won. Maybe, maybe…

After a time, Naruto pulled out a sort of ration-bar, a flat, flavorless thing issued to ninjas on long trips. Nutritious as hell, but they tasted like sandals that had been marinated in a cat's litter box. The wrapper crinkled loudly in their self-imposed silence, fluttered to the floor like a discarded notion of a broken dream.

Naruto gave him half. Smiled, in a manner that Sasuke couldn't understand because he didn't want to. "Now we're even, huh? Now all I have to do is almost-die for you, and I'll have caught up completely." It was a joke, but a bad one. Naruto showed remarkable foresight in that he knew it was a mistake the second he'd said it.

Sasuke didn't call him on it. Couldn't be bothered. He'd learned all he cared to learn from Naruto, now he had to focus on escaping and getting back to Orochimaru. To what purpose? Well, that was no one's business but his own.

Two hours later, Sakura still hadn't shown up.

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"Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura sprang lightly away from Kabuto's corresponding blow, the one that should have ended the fight there and now, though her concern wasn't for herself. She felt a ripple in the air caused by the residual force of the blow, and she had to take a moment to catch her breath. It wasn't a fatal moment, not for her, but Kakashi, stubborn and injured, was the more vulnerable of the two of them. And her sensei was Kabuto's target.

Kakashi had stopped using the sharingan some time ago, as he couldn't maintain it any longer. He'd used Chidori three times, and Sakura knew that if he tried it again, he'd die.

She wasn't about to let that happen. Quickly, she gathered chakra in her hands, drew back and split the ground wide open, leaving Kakashi on an island of unstable rock. Kabuto teetered back, away from the edge and shot her a flat look, clearly displeased with this new development. He'd meant to kill her sensei right then and there, because he better liked the odds of a one-on-one fight. Kakashi looked briefly surprised at her, and then he half-collapsed, coughing and choking, to one knee.

"Do I have to kill you first, Sakura-chan?" Kabuto asked, almost piteously. He had no problem with fighting and killing women, but maybe there was some part of him that yet existed that could actually be described as gentlemanly. Or maybe he just assumed that Hatake Kakashi was the bigger threat.

She braced herself, standing straight, feet apart and shoulders back. She knew her chakra was low, even with the endurance that she'd gained under Tsunade's tutelage. It took sheer willpower to keep her standing straight.

Kabuto was a medical ninja. Sakura was a medical ninja. They were on the same level. She recalled the old adage, 'fight fire with fire' and marveled how at how apt a term it was.

Naruto…where are you?

Of course, Naruto had faith in her and in Kakashi. He probably expected them to have won. He was probably waiting for them in their designated retreat right now. Was Sasuke there…? Was he still the same? She reasoned that the first thing she'd do to him when she saw him again was punch him. Hard. He deserved it, after all. She'd gotten over her crush, to the point where she recalled her infatuation of him with distaste. How could I have been so blind? So she had to survive. So she could hit him. And tell him what an idiot he was. And…how much she'd missed him.

And maybe she'd hit him again, for good measure.

She closed her eyes.

She knew she was losing this fight. Just because she knew didn't mean she had to like it. Somewhere within her, Inner Sakura was yelling and screaming and swearing, using words that Sakura would never have admitted she knew. Let me out, I'll kick his ass! That weak little pansy bitch! Kill him already!

Kabuto was closer, now. He was walking with a bit of a limp, his Chidori-inflicted injury obviously not quite regenerated yet, although he tried hard. He had his limits, too.

But Sakura had been gathering chakra to a small gem nestled in the hollow of her collarbone for the past three years. And she had yet to tap that awesome reserve. The seal was dangerous, so dangerous that she'd had to beg Tsunade to let her learn it. Life or death situations, Tsunade had said. Don't use it at any other time.

Well, this was as good a time as any.

She started the hand-seals, backing up as she did so. Kabuto, recognizing them, moved faster.

And in the distance, Sakura heard the tell-tale noise of the thousand birds. Chi, chi, chi, chi.

"Kakashi-sensei!"

Kabuto turned, but not quite fast enough. Kakashi caught him full in the chest with the Chidori, and both men stumbled. A second later, Kabuto collapsed, and Kakashi swayed on his feet.

"Sensei!" Sakura scrambled over to him and caught him just before he fell. He grinned at her, she could see it in his eyes, and flashed a tired victory sign, worn and bloody and not nearly as sweet as it should have been.

"That…took effort, naa, Sakura…?" He slumped against her, leaning heavily and she too staggered, unable to support his weight in her own weakened state.

"Sensei…" she said quietly, trying to sound stern, trying to keep her voice from being choked with tears. She felt blood on his uniform, on her hands, and if she didn't do something, right now…

Nonsense, she told herself firmly. You're a medical ninja. Now fix this.

Somehow, practicing on fish didn't quite prepare one for the real thing.

"Here, Kakashi," she announced curtly, laying him out on the ground. She dropped the honorific both to catch and hold his attention and to show him just who was in charge here. Her hands moved quickly, unthinkingly, in one of the seals of her medical jutsu, and she held the orb of healing chakra over one of his wounds. He half-flinched.

"Yeow." And didn't that sound enthusiastic…? "That hurts a little, hm?" His voice was a quiet mumble, pushed off-kilter by a cocktail of adrenaline and exhaustion and pain.

She resisted the urge to smack him, rubbed a forearm across her eyes instead. Her vision was blurring, and she knew she was at her utmost limit. There was no reason to release her seal now, and if she did, Tsunade would yell at her like crazy, when they were finally found. And they would be. Naruto would come looking for them, and, and…

That idiot had better come…or else… she thought distantly to herself, moments before she lost consciousness and slumped over Kakashi's prone form almost protectively.

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"You can't look for them and keep an eye on me at the same time, you know," Sasuke informed the still-pacing Naruto with a touch of smugness. Naruto, running a hand through his hair, half-glared at him.

"I know that! Why the hell won't you just cooperate with me, damnit!" Fists clenched, he punched one of the rickety walls of the shack. Suffering under the blow, the entire structure shook, and Sasuke shook plaster from his hair with a touch of annoyance.

"Because…" I'm not here to make life easy for you, because you shouldn't care and you do and I want to hate you for that but I can't because I'm not who I pretend to be… "Nothing can go the way you want it to all the time, Naruto."

Naruto glared again, frustrated and worried. "And you'd run…?" he asked finally, quietly. "You'd run away again?"

Sasuke didn't want to answer him, didn't want to state what should already be known as truth. But Naruto's open, honest eyes demanded it anyway, in whatever form it may ultimately take.

"Yes." And why wasn't he as sure as he thought he was?

"Then I'll just have to carry you, huh?" Naruto stretched, cracked his knuckles. Looking determined even through the concern he was feeling for the comrades that Sasuke had betrayed. "One way or another."

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Criticism-paws at the general populous curiously-