I don't own Harry Potter, although I wish I did. All I own are the books and my Gryffindor scarf, which I am currently in the process of making. I don't even own the movies; those are my mother's. Le Sigh Life is tough.

Chapter One: Misgivings

"Well what is the answer then? Mine is obviously inadequate," Ron said rather impatiently.

Hermione shook her head. "The mandrake is used to cure people who have been petrified. Honestly Ron, you should remember that at least."

"Well I'm terribly sorry," Ron snottily replied. "Some of us aren't as smart as you. We weren't all born with brains you know."

"Fine Ron. Be that way. I was only trying to help." Hermione gathered up her books in her arms and hurried out of the common room. She carefully placed her books beside her night table, which was already full of other, more important books, and fell back onto the bed. Why was she still with Ron anyway? All they did was argue and bicker. Well that and the other stuff too. She sighed as she answered her own question. Why was she with Ron? Because she was expected to be. Everyone thought so. Harry couldn't imagine any other pairing. Lavender and Parvati constantly reminded her of what a cute couple the two of them made. Her mother liked him, which was highly unusual for her mom. And then of course there was Ginny. Ginny loved Hermione and couldn't imagine a better match for her older brother.

"Hermione?" Ron's voice said cautiously, peering in the door of the girls' dormitory. Fred and George had taught both Harry and Ron ages ago many different spells to get around the pesky charm that prevented boys from getting into the girls' rooms. "Can I come in?"

Hermione sat up and nodded. She didn't really want to talk to Ron but there was no way she was going to tell him to leave her alone. She didn't want him mad at her.

Ron sat down on the bed next to her and closed the curtains so they would have some privacy. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. But with finals and Quidditch and everything, it's been a little bit stressful."

"I know Ron," Hermione said with a sigh. This passed, to Ron at least, as forgiveness on her part. Hermione always forgave Ron. Why was she such a pushover?

Her dorm was empty. Lavender and Parvati had some sort of seance with Professor Trelawney. He leaned in for a kiss. Hermione gave in to herself, whom she was really starting to dislike, and kissed him back. As usual, it was wet and sloppy, as if he had never had any previous practice.

He leaned into her, pushing her into a laying position on the bed. His hands moved very fast to the bottom of her shirt. He wanted to get farther than Hermione had let him thus far, and of course Hermione gave in. He rested his hands on her breasts and didn't move them. He was clumsy with women and it showed in his performance.

Inside, Hermione was screaming. She desperately wanted him to stop, but she knew that if she wanted to continue her relationship with Ron, then she would have to let him touch her a little. They had already been going out for three months and they hadn't gotten past second base.

When his hands started moving again, this time down her body, she broke this kiss. "No Ron. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have tried. I should probably get back to the common room. Harry will wonder where I've gotten to. See ya later." He gave her a kiss on the cheek and vanished from her room.

Hermione wiped her mouth, half in disgust and half in shame. She didn't want him touching her, but she did to keep the relationship going. She despised his kisses, but how was she supposed to rate him as a kisser? She hadn't had a boyfriend before, or kissed anyone other than her mum and dad.

In the movies that she watched growing up as a muggle, people did anything and everything they could for the ones they loved. They even died for love. Looking on her relationship with Ron, she didn't feel any of that. Surely she wouldn't die for Ron. Was he worth it? If you were supposed to love your boyfriend, were you supposed to dread being alone with him? Was she in love with Ron? She didn't think she was in love with Ron, but she was expected to be. In Hermione's opinion, this could lead to problems.

At breakfast the next morning, Ron was very uncomfortable and awkward around Hermione. She certainly wasn't the only one who noticed.

"Trouble in paradise?" Fred asked jokingly. Her breath caught in her throat. He had surprised her, because the last time she had seen him, he was talking animatedly with George and Lee Jordan.

"It's none of your business," she said icily.

"Oh but it is my business," he said with a grin. "Ron is my little brother, in case you forgot."

"Do you always want to be informed about your brothers' sex life, because I'm sure if you ask around you could find out all about Percy and Penelope."

Hermione laughed at the expression on Fred's face. It was a cross between a grimace and looking like he was going to throw up.

"Not funny," he said.

"I'll talk to you later," Hermione said and headed for Arithmancy. Arithmancy that day was interesting, but a little bit disappointing for Hermione. They were relearning how to do compatibility. 'Why not check you and Ron?' she thought to herself. For some reason she kept pushing that thought out of her head. She didn't want to think of what the results would be.

Although she tried to fight the urge to run when Ron had his arm around her in the common room, she couldn't deny that she had the thoughts. She went to bed depressed and resolved to talk to Ginny about her problem.