Author's Note: This is for everyone at the RobinxRaven community who hyperventilated over "Birthmark".
Disclaimer: I wish I owned them, but sadly, I don't.
(o)
It all started when I decided that enough was enough.
Usually I'm good at controlling my emotions, but when it got to the point where Robin had quarantined us in the infirmary, I knew I couldn't let it continue. Slade was ravaging his mind, and that was my area of expertise. Yes, I partly performed a mind-meld because I was the only one who could track him down, but the other part – the dominant part – did it because, even though I would never admit it aloud, I cared for him greatly.
(That's an understatement.)
And so I released my soul from my body and was able to seek him out through air vents and the maze of ceiling work. When I located him and blended with his mind – his troubled, overworked mind – I sensed something I wasn't expecting: concern. I could read the memories he was sending me, but I could also feel the emotions behind them, and was quickly able to discern that, with me inside of him, he was terrified, but not for himself; for me.
(Well, maybe that's where it all started.)
I tried to help him, assure him that Slade was only in his mind, but all he was concerned about was me. I was afraid that I was hurting more than helping him, and this uncertainty kept me unfocused long enough for the Slade figment to eject me from Robin's body – or, at the very least, most of me. I assume that I was either too vigorous with the spell or my repressed emotions kept all of me from leaving him, because from that day on, I always knew the general vicinity where he was.
(Probably the latter; about leaving, I mean.)
Things fell silent for awhile as life returned to normalcy – I lied to myself while he walked with Starfire, the alien, on his arm. The instances where he caught me if I fell or defended my back just seemed like normal teammate behavior, and even if I meant it in a deeper way than him, it still didn't count. The incident with Mumbo Jumbo's hat rattled me a bit – He's holding on so tightly, he doesn't want to lose me – but that too meant nothing after a day – or so I thought. Even as I thought my own ignored emotions would go unreciprocated, the incident with my birthday – the birthday I've always dreaded – occurred.
(And it changed everything between us.)
I was upset, had completely ruined my friends' hard worked-for celebration, and just wanted the day of my birth to go away. But Robin, Robin who I believed couldn't even perceive the piece of me that had remained within him, told me that he wanted to help me, to go into my mind. It came without warning that I revealed my ultimate trust – my pathetic dependency – in him. I assured him that I was fine, but when my catastrophic vision prompted me to scream and he came running, I was hauntingly reminded of a reversal of roles from when I sought to help him.
(So glad that he came.)
Our fight against Slade is blurry to me – all I recall is fire, so much fire, and Slade hissing tauntingly in my ear. Then I was somehow able to stop time – and not a moment too soon. When I loved around the frozen battle site, I saw a giant gear that could have crushed Robin had I not acted. I recall my heart pounding when I saw this, and did the first thing that came to mind – I went to him, pulled him free of the time-lock, and took him away.
(If only I had taken him a little further.)
Slade cornered us, and I got him injured – again. With Robin barely conscious and me worried nearly to death about what Slade would confirm, I took Robin to a brief sanctuary in a church. That's sort of macabre, now that I think about it – I brought the man I wouldn't admit I loved to a church, where I was prepared to tell him that I was destined to destroy the world. Not exactly uplifting. I never did, however; Slade found us once again, and I ran to keep the monster with me and away from Robin, whom I had held under stained glass windows just moments before.
(My way to atone…)
When everything was said and done, Robin rescued me from falling to my death, made me feel at least slightly protected, and assured me that Slade would not go unpunished.
Over the years I've coped with my powers, I've tried everything to obtain tranquility – meditation (which works best), incense, tarot cards from twelve different dimensions. In one of these decks, I've found a card called Binding-and-Unbinding, which depicts a large boulder on the edge of a cliff. A length of rope stretches to either end, both leading to a fall, and a woman's wrist is tied to one dangling end and a man's to the other. One cannot climb without the other falling, and you cannot fall without both plummeting to their death – thus, they are forever bound to each other, through everything.
I realize now that Robin and I are the two people on that card: inexplicably intertwined with one another, unable to do something without that something having an effect on the other. Once it is born, it cannot be stopped; simply put, the bond of two.
(…For the things I am destined to do.)
(o)
Note: The whole concept of Binding-and-Unbinding is © Laurie J. Marks, the author of "Fire Logic", the book where this idea first appears. I immediately thought of Robin and Raven, and then saw "Birthmark", and things fell into place.
Hopefully you enjoyed it, but it's really just a gift for all of the awesome people at the R/R community. I also request that if you liked it, please drop a note to say so –insert happy face here-