I do not own the BMFM and write for entertainment purposes. A bitter sweet little tale of lose and redemption.

Salvation

By Morning 2005

She knew she shouldn't be listening, but it was as if her feet had become glued to the floor. She was so glad that Modo and Vinnie were out checking on Limburger. Not that they probably hadn't seen Throttle close to this state knowing the rocky road he and his lifetime love had traveled.

Charley huddled deep in the darkened corner paralyzed by the sound of desperation that riddled Throttle's normally sweet smoky voice. Good manners would have warranted that she leave long before she heard any more, but hearing his torment only cemented her to where she hid. She thought that loving him from a distance was hard until witnessing what was transpiring, nothing was as horrible as seeing him being torn apart before her helpless eyes.

Though Carbine was the source of his pain Charley couldn't find it in her heart to feel any anger toward the young ebony haired general. True to everything that made her the person who almost singled handedly saved her almost dying world, she had to lean on her inner strength, face the cold hard truth, and say what had to be said.

"Please, Throttle. I don't want to hurt you any more than I have to. Don't you think I tried, tried hard and wanted more than life to keep what we had strong, but I couldn't do it alone? I didn't plan it, in fact I ran from it for so long. Gunner was just a soldier who was willing to put the rebuilding of Mars as the most important thing in his life and felt like I did about our home world. It wasn't something either of us planned. I was so lonely, so very lonely that I was dying inside. I begged you to come back. How many times did I plead with you, tell you I needed you, but being there was always so much more important."

Charley lowered her head even more. She knew how Carbine felt and if the truth be told she wasn't so sure, if it were Earth that had been devastated like Mars, she wouldn't have expected the same thing. Charley wasn't in any position to judge what Carbine was doing. But seeing Throttle so terribly hurt still made her angry. Not at Carbine, but at the war and what it had done to everyone who'd been touch by it.

Suddenly it got deadly quiet and Charley bit her bottom lip wondering what could possibly be happening next. As if in slow motion, Throttle's head fell forward and his shoulders dropped and he collapsed like a house of cards. The once valiantly strong Martian hero descended to his knees, still clinging to the microphone. Charley wrapped her arms tightly around her waist, trying to control the urge to run to his side. It wouldn't help; only add to his defeat if he knew she was a witnessing what was happening. Her eyes stung from the salty tears that she could no longer contain and they slid from her eyes warming her already flushed cheeks. She stood helpless and watched this beautiful vibrant loving man being reduced to a begging broken mass of desperation. With her chestnut brown hair surrounding her tear stained face, all she could do, for now, was walk silently away with Throttle's raspy shaken tear filled voice echoing in her head.

"I'm on my knees, babe...I got no pride left. I need you to…to… stay alive. He can't… love you more than me. Please give me just…just a little more time. Please, please…don't leave me. I've lost… everyone else. My world will end without you…..Please…please…please…."

Getting back to the garage seemed to take three times as long as it normally would. All she wanted to do was get home. Gratefully she made her escape before Modo and Vinnie had gotten back.

Finally she pulled up into home and parked her bike. She removed her helmet and let it drop to the floor. She used her sleeve to wipe her eyes. It was short of a miracle that she was able to make it home, barely being able to see while crying as hard as she was. Sniffling and hiccupping she walked up to her bedroom and fell across the bed. Why did life have to be so hard, why did people have to be hurt, especially a person who had already been through so much pain.

She knew what the war had cost each of her, adorable fur balls, as she like to refer to her Martian friends. They each had paid in some way physically or emotionally for the horror inflicted on their precious home world. Carbine was entitled to find love. She had given most of her life to saving Mars and if she had found a man that could give her at least a little happiness then Charley could only wish her the best.

It was odd, you'd think she'd be over-joyed now that he was free, but when you really love someone you don't want them to ever be hurt. You never want to see them in the state she'd left Throttle in. And no matter how much she might have wanted to offer him comfort, all she could do was walk away. He wouldn't want her now; he probably would never trust his heart to ever love again.

She looked around the room as if to make sure she was actually alone. Not that anyone could have come into her room without her seeing them, but she had to be sure that what she was about to do would remain her private secret. She got up and closed the door making sure it was securely locked then she knelt down to each under her bed.

She carefully pulled out a medium size box that was covered with beautiful violet and purple flowers. Before climbing back up on the bed she pulled off her boots and crossed her legs and stocking feet under her thighs. Her fingers lovingly touched the cover before she took off the lid. Unconsciously she looked around the room one more time then smiled to herself realizing how overly cautious she was being.

Taking off the lid, she reached in and removed a sweet golden furred stuffed mouse. She had made a red scarf for him and had fashioned a small leather vest. Two red pipe cleaners were sewn to the top of its head and she had found a small pair of black plastic shades to prop on his little nose. He was just big enough to fit in her arms and she held him tenderly.

"Hey, Fuzzy Wuz, had a bad day, huh" She stoked his soft flaxen fur and brought him close enough to press his head against hers. She took a sadden sigh and got out of bed. Still holding the toy, she left her room and walked down the hall to the small metal stairs that lead up to the roof and climbed them. Lifting a trap door, similar to the one she had leading from the garage up to her bedroom; she stepped out into the warm night air.

This was her time alone spot. A place she'd come to when she needed to be by herself and think about the more private personal things in her life. She walked over to an old, green and white, folding lounge chair and sat back on the three pillows she'd kept there.

Her hand caressed the toy's head and soon she had it held protectively in her arms. Rocking slowly she said to it all the things she would have said to its real life counter part. She gave to it and took from it the comfort that was aching to be freed from her heart.

Possibly to be continued….