Title: Original Spiced Rum
Author: Kameko-chan
Pairings: Christophe/Kyle
Notes: I am on CRACK. Alright, this is written for the 30 kisses community on LJ (as all of these will be). It's theme 21, 'plunder'.

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Christophe was a trained assassin and master of covert ops. His childhood career as "The Mole" had taken root and flourished, and now his skills were in high demand the world over. The USA, his native France, Russia, Mexico, Italy, he'd seen them all and never missed a target, never botched a job. So, it was a great shock to our sneaky spy when a thoroughly intoxicated Kyle Broflovski managed to sneak up on him and lock him in a death-cuddle from behind. Either he was losing his touch, or alcohol imbued Kyle with extraordinary skulking abilities. In any case, Christophe found himself in the middle of the living room with his boyfriend attached to his back like some freakish parasite.

"Kyle," the young man asked, hint of a French accent still coloring his voice after all his years in America, "what are you doing?"

"Arr, I be not this Kyle," the drunken Jew replied, grinning into his lover's leather coat, "Ye be calling me the dread pirate Broflovski! Captain dread pirate Broflovski"

Christophe sighed, eying an empty bottle of Captain Morgan's. Damned Stan and Kenny had probably brought it over, along with a copy of that blasted Disney film with the sexy lead actor. They knew how Kyle could get around pirates and booze. "Captain dread pirate Broflovski, then," he said, trying to sound irritated but failing miserably, "could you PLEASE release me?"

"Nope." Kyle squeezed the captured man a little tighter. "I caught you, you're mine. My plunder. My booty." A very un-pirate like giggle escaped the dread pirate Broflovski at that last comment, making the Mole's lips quirk up in a smile.

"Arrr, you'll be making a fine trophy wench," Kyle continued, unaware of his boyfriend's utter lack of respect for his Captain dread pirate-ness. "I like 'em male and foreign."

"Why a wench? Why not cabin boy? They are the same thing, yes?"

Captain dread pirate Broflovski considered this for a moment. "Do I get to talk like a pirate either way?"

Christophe rolled his eyes. "Yes, Kyle."

The redhead grinned and released the taller man. "I believe we have an accord," Kyle said solemnly. He stuck out his hand, waiting for a shake to seal the deal, but Christophe bypassed the outstretched palm and kissed Kyle full on the lips instead. Captain dread pirate Broflovski melted at the skillful contact and decided that would work just as well.

END

Eep, my first South Park fic! How'd it go?

Hee, accord. I love PotC.