A Fruits Basket Comedy
By Kikei
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Well, Here ya go, Melissa. The Furuba story that I've been babbling on about forever. I told you, didn't I? I said, "Melissa, I'm gonna write a Furuba story. And YOU can't do a thing about it, can ya!" Didn't I! Didn't I! HAH. I SURE SHOWED YOU, DIDN'T I!
Anyhoo, this is my FIRST EVER Furuba story, and I'm not really sure myself if I wrote it well. I mean, I know all the characters and such, but I'm kinda nervous, since this IS my first FF about FB.
Hope you're satisfied, Chibi-lovers!
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Summary- Due to some mixed-up thunderstorm caused by angels in heaven that are bowling and some odd Chinese Legend, The Zodiac residents of Shigure Sohma's House-hold have all turned into their 5-year-old counterparts! So now that Tohru, who was already acting as their maid, will have to act as a full-time mom, what horrors will ensure?
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Disclaimer- I own FB manga, one DVD, and a Kyo Hat. But that's all I own. Unlike Melissa, who has almost every single Furuba thing in the world (except for a Yuki hat... HAH HAH MELISSA!), I am poor. That is all I can afford. ((tear))
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It was 5 PM when the sky over the town in which Tohru Honda lived in had turned from a calming cerulean to a twisted combination of dark blue and gray, give or take a few white clouds. It was then that the whole town knew that a thunderstorm was on its way.
But it was odd, since no one in town had even seen it coming, not even Shigure Sohma (who was a dog), and could sense thunderstorms way before it even happened. But it was nothing to worry about for little Tohru, who was in the laundry room separating the dark clothes from the light clothes. Not even she could sense the clouds forming to make a huge, foreboding circle in the sky.
Meanwhile, random people out in the street were grabbing umbrellas and heading for home, except for two certain teenagers, one with short, dark gray hair and one with a bright orange mop on his head. One of them was yelling at the other, who was speaking in a rather calm voice that seemed to signal an upcoming fight.
"Dammit, Rat boy, why would you let me carry some groceries?" Kyo Sohma attempted to grab a plastic bag from his slightly taller cousin, who inched slightly to the side to avoid collision with the other. Unfortunately, Kyo fell flat on his face onto the welcoming pavement.
"Ow... DAMMIT!"
"Don't cuss so loudly, Kyo," Yuki Sohma turned around while glaring at his bumbling cousin. "You're causing a riot!"
"No, I'm not!" Kyo humphed, brushing off the invisible dust on his shirt. "There isn't anyone around to notice, you stupid brat! Now gimme some groceries!"
Yuki continued walking toward their house, ever so often dodging Kyo's arm from behind. "DAMMIT, YUKI, WHY WON'T YOU LET ME CARRY THE GODDAMN GROCERIES!"
Yuki sighed as he entered the Sohma Land where Shigure's house was located. "One; you'll probably drop them. Two; they aren't that heavy. Three; we're almost home, so why bother?"
Kyo grumbled at his rat rival. "It'll look like you did all the work, and make me look like I just sat there complaining about everything!"
Yuki stared at Kyo, who threw him a dirty look. "But that's exactly what you did, moron. And why would you want to help me anyway? You didn't have to come!"
"I either had a choice of staying at home with Miss Airhead and the annoying pervert of a novelist, or have a chance to finally finish you off!" The cat finished in an arrogant tone. "Besides," he mumbled under his breath, "Tohru asked me..."
"Ah, I get it," Yuki replied, smirking slightly. "You wanted to impress her, to show her your 'nice' side, huh, Kyo?"
"SHUT UP, BAKA NEZUMI!" Kyo aimed a punch at his cousin, who just inched forward, ignoring the insults and punches that were thrown at him.
Above them, the sky started to rumble in a daunting way, signaling the coming of a huge thunderstorm. Yuki and Kyo looked up.
"We'd better get home and give the groceries to Honda-san," Yuki muttered, not speaking to anyone in particular. But nevertheless, the cat and the rat ran toward the house, as fast as their feet could take them.
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Outside the house, Tohru was holding an umbrella to her shoulder, a worried look on her face. "Kyo-kun! Sohma-kun! You'd better get in here quick! The sky's turning black!" She lifted her head and pointed at the once-white clouds that seemed to circle around their house.
All of a sudden, Shigure popped out from behind one of the bushes, holding shears and a book on how to properly prune a bush. "Tohru-kun's right, this is not very good weather to trim a bush!" he stated, almost making Yuki drop his groceries, and Kyo fall for the second time that day.
The three members of the Chinese Zodiac seemed to be taking their sweet time to reach the house. Tohru looked anxiously at them, then back at the sky, then back at them, wondering when they would reach the house, and why it seemed like they weren't going anywhere.
"Hurry!" she yelled apprehensively, waving her arms to signal at them to hasten their pace. "Come on!"
Suddenly, it started. The sky seemed to emit an ominous vibration as a glint of lighting flashed across the sky. Then they heard the loud roar of the thunder, or angels bowling. Kyo, Yuki, Shigure, and Tohru looked up. At first they could see nothing, then it seemed like they could see pictures forming in the clouds.
"A rat, cow, tiger, and a rabbit?" Yuki pondered while looking at the dark clouds.
"The dragon, snake, horse, and sheep?" Kyo bit his lip, sensing a sinister feeling coming from the sky.
"Then a monkey, rooster, dog, boar... and a... cat?" Shigure looked at his other two younger cousins while they took a breath at the same time.
"The Zodiac!" Tohru whispered, putting a hand against her mouth to stifle a loud gasp. Then another glint of lighting shone across the dark sky, revealing one final image to Kyo, Yuki, Shigure, and Tohru, who had looks of fearful suspicion on their face.
"A... child?" they all said in union.
Then all went blank.
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Tohru woke up to a huge throbbing in her head. Rubbing it, she sat up and blinked before she took in exactly what had just happened in the last two or three minutes.
The whole sky flashed with light just as soon as they saw the little child in the clouds, and Tohru could see Kyo, Yuki, and Shigure fainting on the ground. Quickly, ignoring the dark feeling in her stomach to stay away, she ran toward the three men who were sprawling on the ground. All of a sudden, the sky seemed to turn a deep shade of red, then blue, then gray, and then turn into rain. Tohru then tripped on a rock, and ended up with a head concussion.
"Oww..." Tohru looked around before standing up on her feet, and then wobbled as she maintained her balance. "Sh-Shigure-san?" she managed to whisper. "K-Kyo-kun? Sohma-k-kun?" She took a deep breath, and held it in, realizing that no one answered her.
Then she saw three lumps on the ground near her, the groceries scattered all over the grass. Tohru ran toward them, glad that she had actually found them, but worried that they... that they were...
"Sohma-kun! Shigure-san! Kyo-kun!" Tohru exclaimed in delight, waiting for at least one of them to stir and say, "Hey, Tohru-kun," or "Hey, Honda-san," or "What the hell just happened, Tohru!"
But something felt wrong. Tohru looked at the three bodies in front of her. Sure, one had blackish-blue hair, one had a deep, gray shade, and one's orange hair stood out from the rest, but it was as if... it was as if they weren't really there. Well, they were, but it was like something was different about them.
"Uh... Kyo-kun?"
All of a sudden, the one with the orange hair stood up to face Tohru.
The only problem was, he was more than 2 feet shorter than Tohru.
"T-Tohru!" squeaked the boy who seemed to respond to the name "Kyo-kun". The orange haired boy blinked twice at Tohru, and looked down at his hand and his feet, noticing that his clothes were 18 sizes too big, and mouth wide open. "Wh-what... wh-why... Wh-why the hell am I so SHORT?"
Tohru crouched down, a look of amazment on her face as well. She stared at the strange boy, who had many of Kyo's features: The hair, the nose, the eyes, and she was pretty sure, that if the boy's high-pitched voice were 5 tones deeper, it would sound just like Kyo-kun's.
"Is that really you, Kyo-kun?" she asked, patting him on the head. Immediately, the boy lifted his arm that was covered in a baggy sleeve, and blocked Tohru's hand from touching his hair, and shot the girl an annoyed look. Tohru smiled awkwardly. "It is!"
From behind her, a loud moan could be heard. Tohru turned around abruptly to see a mini-Shigure stand up, but trip over his loose traditional Japanese clothing. "Ouch... What just happened there?" asked the novelist in a voice that sounded a lot like his own, except slightly lighter. Then Shigure blinked, staring at the brunette. "Uh, have we just shrunk, or is Tohru-kun drinking way too much milk?"
"Dammit, why the hell do I look like a kid!" Chibi-Kyo yelled, which sounded strange to Tohru, since she had never actually heard what seemed to be a 5-year-old cursing so loudly. "Calm down, Kyo-kun," Shigure replied, glancing at the 17-year-old female, who had a look of total blankness on her face.
"Augh... Stupid cat... Your loud voice woke me up..." A boy that looked strangely like a Mini-Yuki stood up, with hair and pieces of grass covering his face. Tohru turned around to see Yuki looking up at her with the same look of confusion. "Honda-san! Wh-Why are you so... so tall?" Chibi-Yuki used his sleeve-covered hand to push back a loose strand of hair, and looked at Chibi-Shigure. "What's happened to us?" the rat asked his dog of a cousin, blinking while Kyo yelled in the background, "I'M 17, DAMMIT! WHY THE HELL DO I LOOK LIKE SOMEONE WHO WATCHES POKEMON ALL DAY?"
Tohru wore a look of bewilderment on her face.
"Whatever I did, I'm sorry!" she managed to whisper, bowing down apologetically and muttering things like, "What did I do now!" and "I knew that bread looked spoiled!"
Shigure walked up to the apologetic brunette, and patted her sympathetically on the shoulder. "I'm sure it wasn't your fault, Tohru-kun," he stated, a small smile forming on his face. "Whatever happened to us, I'm sure you could fix it!"
Tohru managed to look up at the grinning 6-year-old, and forced a weak smile on her face. "O-okay..." she whispered happily. "But why did you guys turn... all chibi except for me?"
Shigure rubbed his chin in thought. "Hmm..." he pondered, looking at Yuki who was staring at his hands as if it was some sort of strange, monster hands, and then at Kyo, who was jumping up and down on the ground in frustration, as if he wanted the earth to crumble under his weight. "I don't know..." he finally managed, turning back to Tohru who seemed almost thoughtful.
"Wait a minute..." Yuki looked at Shigure in thought. "...Didn't we see the zodiac just before we became unconscious?" he asked, crossing his arms.
Shigure nodded, looking up at the sky. "Yes... I remember now! And then didn't we see a kid of some sort?"
Tohru looked from Shigure to Yuki, and then back at the mini-novelist, who was scratching his chin.
"I think I read somewhere in my 'Legends of China' book about a legend that had to do with the zodiac and a child... Somehow, that child wanted to be in the zodiac, but he couldn't because he was a human and not an animal, and so therefore wasn't invited to God's feast..."
Chibi-Kyo had ceased stomping on the ground and inched in closer to hear his cousin's story.
"...so God, in pity, made the child a promise: Every 1,000 years or so, during a great, unexpected thunderstorm, he would turn all the animals into a little youngster, in honor of the child."
Everyone stared as Chibi-Shigure opened his eyes to see two 5-year-olds glaring at him, eyebrows raised, and a 17-year-old female staring blanking at the sky.
Shigure managed an awkward smile. "Well, we can read more about it tomorrow, I guess... But for now, I'm hungry, Tohru-kun! Do ya think you can cook us some Sukiyaki?"
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It was already 2:30 AM at night when Tohru could feel her door being pounded on and someone yelling frantically for Tohru to come out.
"K-Kyo-kun...?" she muttered sleepily.
"YES, DAMMIT! NOW OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR!"
Tohru could hear light snickers coming from the other side as she walked across from her bedroom to the door where Chibi-Kyo was wearing a look of annoyance and embarrassment, Chibi-Yuki muttering something that sounded like, "Baka neko...", and Chibi-Shigure holding up his hands to his mouth, even if you could still hear the bundles of silent laughter coming from his mouth.
"Tell Honda-san what happened, idiot, so we can go to sleep." Chibi-Yuki said quietly, crossing his arms and turning his back away from them, as if he was about to laugh but restrained the temptation.
"YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE HERE!" Chibi-Kyo shouted, shaking his fists at Chibi-Yuki and Chibi-Shigure, who was busy laughing to notice. "THIS IS MY PROBLEM!"
Suddenly Chibi-Shigure let his hands fall. "Y-you're right," Chibi-Shigure attempted to say without showing an ounce of joy. "It is your problem!" Then his hands went up to his mouth to cover the laughter.
Chibi-Kyo glared at his cousin.
"N-Nani desu ka?" Tohru asked politely, trying to hold back a yawn but failing.
"I-I..." Chibi-Kyo began, his face turning red from embarrassment.
"Oh, come on!" Chibi-Yuki stared at his other Chibi cousins, and then spoke again. "Our little Kyo has wet his bed!"
Tohru blinked.
Nothing could outmatch the loud laughter coming from Chibi-Shigure's mouth.
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Arrgh... It took me forever to post this story... I re-read it so many times it feels like i just want to throw this computer at the wall, and I've corrected it many times it seems almost perfect, but not really.
Why am I always unsatisfied every time I write a story?
Also, the Chinese legend about the kid and God... that ain't real, okay? Just to let you know!
Now REVIEW!