Hey, guys. Sorry it's been so long. Alright! I'm finally updating! Gosh! Lol. This one I don't think will be as funny. It's really hard to come up with funny stuff, alright? A lot harder than you think! Keep reviewing…
Disclaimer: I know, I know. I don't own anyone but ol' Professor Uponavon.
Summary: Now it's time for divination. But this is no mere written exam…
UPDATED Reviewers UPDATED Thank you all!
Crayoncookie: No, it sounds like the stupid things WE do everyday, lol. Thanks!
Bigkihap: Yes, I used it! Thanks! I love the "better get crackin" thing too.
Lady Darkshine: whoah. You're welcome and thank you.
Ime-Grint: Thank you. What a great review!
Tom and Tom: I'm so happy you're back! My first reviewer! Thanks for the typo thing, if I ever have time, I'll change it (not likely) lol. Well, here's Divination for ya. I'm glad I'm brightening your day.
Twylla: Look everyone! My story was the most hilarious one that twylla has ever read! Thanks!
Martha Warren/Brittany Miller: Well I did continue it! If I can squeeze Ginny in there, I will!
pink-helga: Yeah, I think it is hard, too. I'm glad that you think that I did well! Thanks!
bigkihap: it was funnier? Yes! Well tell me what was funnier about it then before, so I can put more of -it- in the next one.
incident: actually, I don't do too much of that in school. Only with friends and fam. You don't need to wait for herbology, I've posted 3 more chapters since (including herbology) !
Gewndolyn: I was hoping that someone would like that part! I added the fourth chapter before you updated, incase you wanted to know. Oh wait, this IS the fourth chapter, I was just editing it again. :)
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hpluva2000: I love the phantom, too! Awesome movie. Okay, I kept going! Thanks.
Chinese Phoenix: Another phantom lover! I LOVE the phantom! Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant! Thank you very much.
wilddog14: GO WEASLEY TWINS! That should be our greeting to each other. Too bad you aren't registered. Well, if you ever do get an account, email me! GO WEASLEY TWINS! (It means hello and goodbye. And thank you. And... whatever.)
Elephant Wings: Oh, I can imagine it alright. But what's even clearer in my mind is you smearing your nose against the moniter. LOL! Thanks!
bighikap: What a faithful reviewer! I'm glad that it was funny. Too bad George didn't get much of a part in it :( I'll have to make it up to him.
martha warren: Sorry I didn't put Ginny in this chapter. If I do continue, it will beCharmsand I'll HAVE to put her in. I just dont' know how, because she doesn't take OWLs yet.
FluffyTPS: Thanks so much! Unforunately, I'll only write more if I can regenerate my Weaslery-Goodness. I can't think of any more funny stuff. My head hurts.
Tom (again): You're a faithy, too! tear j/k. Thank you, thank you, thank you! You're the best!
Dark Priestess SubikaT: 1) just go with the flow, okay? Everyone else did. 2) "It's more the fact that they exist, if you know what I mean." The slytherins are JKR's chosen antagonists. I'm also writing a Fred and George story, and they don't like Slytherins much. Can't go out of character, now can I?
Elephant Wings: You again! Woohee! I like monty python :) I'm scared, I'm scared! Waahhh :'( Haha. Anyway, I might update, but don't kill me if I don't!
WildSong: I changed it for you. Happy? I am :) Thanks.
jadiegreenie14ie: awww... what a loving friend! Haha. Thanks a lot, pooface! Lol jk.
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"YES!" shouted George, reading the Examinations Schedule.
"What?" asked Fred.
"The Divination Exam isn't written! Do you know what that means?"
"You know I don't pay attention in class. Why don't you tell me?"
"The Seventh Year Divination Examination," read George. "Consists of Palmistry or the Trance."
"Brilliant! Those are, by far, the most excellent forms of Divination!"
"For us, that is," completed George.
Fred and George strolled along the corridor toward the exam room. This took a while, however, seeing as the twins threw dungbombs at every single pack of Slytherins they passed. The twins now hadn't a care in the world, being in seventh year and worrying about getting kicked out.Then they reached the exam room.
"I'm sorry,"an examiner said."Butwe only take one person at a time for Divination. You are going to have to wait."
"What? We have to wait?" asked Fred, as if they were sentencing him to life-time prison.
"It's because we're red, isn't it? Huh? Are you against our color?" challenged George.
The examiner was positively flustered, and ran off to some room. Meanwhile, Fred and George snuck around corners, setting up traps for any latecomers.
At long last, the same examiner came again, slightly more nervous than before.
"Weasley, your turn." Both of the twins walked up to him. "Oh, I guess its Fred first then. George, you wait here."
"Why him first?" asked George, offended.
"We go in alphabetical order, and F comes before G."
"Stupid list," George muttered loudly. "I think we should go through the list backwards."
The examiner did a horrible job of pretending he didn't hear him, and led Fred into the room. Fred stepped into a highly scented room and sat down on a pouffe in front of an old man.
"Ahh… welcome to your Advanced Divination Examination. I am Professor Uponavon. (A/N: lol, I'm learning about Shakespeare right now) I foresee that you are Fred Weasley, are you not?"
"Wow!" said Fred with mock-enthusiasm. "You are amazing! How did you know my name?"
"Well, Mister Weasley, I am a highly-trained Diviner, you know. The Sight has been with me since birth."
"Oh, Professor Uponavon,"sighed Fred mockingly. "I hope to be just like you when I grow up. It's been my dream ever since I heard about it!"
"Yes, I foresaw that. However, we must continue with the examination. Let us begin with Palmistry. My assistant, Professor Trelawney, will allow you to read her palm. Are you ready?"
"What? You mean you aren't going to ask me any division questions?" asked Fred.
"No, Mister Weasley, this is Divination."
"OOoohh."
"Alright, you may begin."
Fred snatched Madam Trelawney's palm very brusquely and held it so close to his face that his nose was almost touching it.
"Hmm…" said Fred. "Hmm…I see here you are clairvoyant, a prophetess. You have the Sight."
"Very good!" smiled Professor Uponavon. "Professor Trelawney does indeed."
"These lines and wrinkles… there are so many!" said Fred innocently. Professor Trelawney glared at him.
"I believe I see your past here." Fred quickly remembered what Harry had told him about Trelawney's predictions. "In 1979, did you meet Albus Dumbledore in the Hog's Head to be interviewed to be a professor at Hogwarts?"
Sybill nodded.
"Excellent, excellent." The old man said.
"And your most recent profession was...," Fred added. "A Divination Professor at Hogwarts?"
Again, Sybill nodded.
"OH!" exclaimed Professor Uponavon joyfully, as he clapped his hands. "And now, look into her future…"
"Yes, of course, Professor. I foresaw that you were going to ask me that, and was just going to tell you her future."
Trelawny sneezed, and right away, Fred pulled out an oddtissue and said "I predicted that you would sneeze during my examination, Professor Trelawney. That is why I brought a tissue."
"Well done, Mister Weasley," said Uponavon."You do have the Sight."
But as Trelawney wiped her nose and discarded the tissue, her nose began to enlarge, and turn a nasty green color.
"Oh, dear!" said Fred. "I foresaw that you would come down with the rare Michinampliotitus disease, but I didn't want to believe it was true!"
Trelawney looked at Fred in pure terror, while Professor Uponavon looked in pure amazement that Fred could predict such a thing. When the examiner finally realized that Trelawney's nose was almost as big as her head and the situation was actually quite bad, he told Fred to leave, but promised him top marks.
Fred burst out through the doors with a proud grin on his face.
"So," asked George. "How did it go?"
"I don't reckon you'll be having your exam, mate."
"Why?" asked George sadly.
"Gave Trelawney a tip-enlarging tissue."
"You what?" exclaimed George. "Sweet Merlin!"
"George?"
"Yes'm?"
"I think our work here is done."
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THE END! GAH! I didn't think I was going to finish it so soon but I did. I'm so sorry! Please R&R my last chapter - please?