Never Will We Be That Wonderful

Sex. To me it's an unknown secretive world that only a small handful know of, a world where everyone is mature and adult however still naïve and curious. The people who have had sex are idolized by those around them, or chastised for it depending on your own beliefs. It's what gives meaning to the term "gossip", its what generally defines some high school's reputations. My school with has a population 700 people, it's the only school I know of where everyone knows your full name, and you know all of theirs as well.

I live in a small mostly rural community, within driving distance of a city but yet secluded enough that everyone knows who you are and all about you. I mean in grade 8 when I had the chicken pocks a woman whom my mother occasionally speaks to brought me flowers and soup because she heard through the "grape vine" I was sick. Sometimes a close knit community can be of help especially when you're in trouble, however most of the time it can be ridiculously annoying when people know everything about your personal life; you can't go drinking at a party without it getting back to your parents, than again I wouldn't really have that problem seeing as I don't drink.

Most look at me like the girl who likes to have fun but be a tease when it actually comes to doing the things I say I'm going to. For example strip poker I don't think they should tease me for not taking off my shirt I was wearing a really ugly bra that night I didn't feel like being embarrassed. I'm the popular girl who is scared of the power she holds from being friends with that group of 6.

I've had maybe two boyfriends, if you count the ones I went out with for a week it would be 5. I like many boys don't get me wrong I'm just not someone who will impulsively jump to the opportunity, not only that but everyone is so worked up about how if you get into a relationship you should just jump into bed with them. It's not like I'm nervous about sex or sexually related things it's more or less I don't like the pressure. I could be kidding myself but perhaps it's…

"Miss. Tuskino are you even paying attention?" questioned Mr. Hido.

"I am Mr. Hido," I lied casually while watching his reaction turn from confused to disbelief.

"Than would you be so kind as to tell as what the symptoms of Chlamydia are?" He smiled, I'd been in his personal hygiene class since eighth grade, because of this he realizes that I day dream and start thinking deep thoughts randomly almost like I'm narrating my life to myself. I don't need help and I'm not crazy I just think deeply about things around me as if I'm in a movie.

"Umm, a red rash and… Little bumps around the vagina?" I guessed, that was symptoms for something, I was just really hoping it was for Chlamydia.

"This Serena is why you must start paying attention in class, your answer was an adequate guess but entirely wrong, there are no symptoms for Chlamydia which makes it not only one of the most spread sexually transmitted diseases but also one of the most dangerous, pay attention or I'll have to single you out again… Be careful class you may think sex feels good and is fun but it's something…." continued Mr. Hino

Every year when we approached the sexually transmitted disease section of his course we all had to hear about why we should be abstaining, I couldn't remember at this point in my life why I was abstaining. When I was younger like all children I said I would wait until marriage before ever having sex. I'm not religious but don't get me wrong I fully believe in god I'm just not in a religion formally, in other words I don't go to church. As I was saying though as I grew older I'd come to realize that adults generally tell you not to have sex until you're married or "at an age where you would be able to support kids" because they fear you'll become pregnant at such a young age, I suppose they're trying to protect our innocence.

"So Darien and I are having our six month anniversary on Friday," giggled Raye as she took a bite of her sandwich at lunch. Raye was our "leader" I guess you could say, she was outgoing and ready for anything how could she not be? She was beautiful her hair was long and black and her eyes were a shimmering amethyst color she had her optometrist concoct for her. Compared to her I was a mere mouse, I had extremely long blonde hair with pale blue eyes. I wore make up and had a great personality, that's what my mother always told me I think she thinks that my looks were all her fault as if she knew that I wasn't a diamond in a bunch of rocks. Not only was I average but my personality wasn't great, I talked a lot that was for sure but I also listened which makes me appear quiet.

"Six months? Holy I'm impressed with you, you're never satisfied longer than a two months usually, I would have thought he'd bore you long ago," remarked Lita. Lita was typical athlete she generally wore sweats and a hoodie, somehow this look was beautiful on her though; it didn't give her the appearance that she was lazy. She has long brown hair with a little curl in it and these bright emerald eyes that gave off a 'don't mess with me' kind of look.

"Ya well with Darien there's something special you know? Plus he's two years older than me which makes it seem a little more scandalous than going out with someone in my grade," smiled Raye, just as two muscular arms wrapped around her shoulders and a head leaned in to kiss her cheek.

Enter Darien Chiba, the most gorgeous man that has ever uttered more than two words to me. He had jet black hair and a tanned complexion and his eyes were a deep blue that almost any girl could get lost in after looking into them for too long. I however will never be graced with the privilege to look into those eyes long enough to get lost or to even be found after, not only is he dating one of my best friends but he will only date girls who either have had sex or potentially will sex with him. This seems shallow to me but I cannot change his views after any virgin who dates him gives in the moment he touches them below the navel, I however wouldn't give in to a guy no matter how hard he tried.

"So what are you fine ladies doing tonight?" Asked Darien looking at the four of us as he slid into the seat next to Raye.

"Oh you know going over to Ami's house, her parents are in Cancun Mexico and she is the only one who has a secluded house so there's no nosey neighbors about," laughed Lita.

Ami was probably one of the most spoiled girls I had ever met; she's probably the only girl I know of who is so rich that she can have her hair died the exact same color as her eyes, cotton candy blue. Her parents live a little bit further into the country her mom owns a doctors practice in the city and is rarely home and her father is always away on business trips seeing as he is the CEO of a large conglomerate in China. When her family is home it's only for a day or two before her parents leave Ami alone and go on an exotic trip to get away from it all, Ami swears she's never been lonely and we all know this is her greatest lie.

"They went to Cancun without you again? Doesn't that bother you at all?" questioned Raye looking inattentively straight at me. "Hello Serena it's Raye calling from planet lunch just wondering if your voice got lost over the last period and were not planning on speaking at all today," giggled Raye Ami and Lita laughed as well.

"Raye shut your face," argued Minako while sticking her tongue out at Raye. Minako is my true best friend of the bunch not only did we look alike with our blonde hair and blue eyes but we had a lot in common and ever since we were kids when Raye would make fun of me she would always stand up for me I guess you could say she was the only one of us not at all scared of Raye, Raye knew that and it frightens her deep down inside.

"Serena can talk Minako she's not a dummy that sits on your lap," commented Raye as she took a drink from Darien's Pepsi. "So Ami your house tonight? After all it is a Friday and I do have a boot," smiled Raye looking at Ami knowing very well that she would not refuse.

"Lets say about 8ish than?" Said Ami blankly while sipping on her straw.

"Darien you are going to bring your friends right?" Asked Lita, we all knew why Lita would ask that she's completely in love with Motoki Darien's best friend as well Ami was infatuated with Ryo one of Darien's closest friends.

"Yes Motoki AND Ryo will both be there, it's a shame you don't like any of my friends Serena I might have been able to hook you up with someone decent," said Darien.

I knew exactly what he was getting at, he knows I'm square so why not rub it in a little more? He also thinks part of the reason I'm square is because the guys I've dated have been shy his theory he told me once I still laugh remembering it…. 'Serena don't you get why you and other's don't last? The way I see it is you need someone who is outgoing because shy shy quiet and boring, do you understand what I'm saying too you? You need someone to make you laugh and someone to cheer you up when you're down not someone who doesn't know what they're doing.' … As much as I hated to admit it that was sometimes how I felt, the boy may seem like an asshole but when you talked to him alone he means well. The funny thing about him is he's actually very intellectual he's in his last year of high school and will be graduating with honors in every single class he's in. That's what makes me respect him so much.

"No offence Darien but I wouldn't call your friends all that decent," I shot back giving him the 'back off' glare, even though I should know better because this is where he starts the game.

"You're lucky I'm offering, no offence to you Miss. Tuskino but thinking about it now none of my friends would want to even touch you," He retaliated, ouch that one was a burn I better think up something quick before he hits me twice.

"Who says I want to be touched, I don't need any of their hands roaming my body thank you," I replied, without even realizing what an idiot I look like after what I just said. I could feel it… All the blood rushing to my face turning it a bright color of scarlet.

"Roaming your body? Serena well I never thought you would have it in you to have dirty thoughts," smiled Darien while folding his arms over his chest and leaning back in his chair smugly.

"She's incapable of having dirty thoughts, she's always in there cleaning them up before they even begin," said Raye as she sipped on her own Dr. pepper.

I was stuck I had no response, I was in a foot of mud and incapable of clawing my way out. I would either sink in further or be cornered again.

"I… I have to go to the bathroom," I mumbled and got up to leave when I felt a hand grab hold of my wrist, I turned to see Darien standing there hanging onto me.

"I'm sorry, it was uncalled for but you know how much you enjoy it, anyways are you going to show up at Ami's tonight?" He asked sincerely, perfect example of why I cannot hate this man, and yes it's true our little arguments are fun even though I'm not quick enough to be the winner.

"I'll show up at Ami's tonight but I am not drinking," I replied while stalking off to the bathroom.

"GOOD YOU CAN BE THE DOUBLE D!" shouted out Lita, I was always the "Double D" designated driver, I don't mind it usually except that they always assume I'll be the one to drive them safely home. Just once I'd like to leave them there at the party only to wake up and be confused as to why they're not in their beds at home.

"Fine what ever," I answered quietly.

"Hey Serena glad you could make it," said some random girl who had been drinking as I walked into Ami's house, looks like word had gotten out seeing as there was almost no room to walk with all the people there.

"Serena I knew you would be here, there's some beer in the fridge with your name on it if you would like some, oh and there's this one guy who keeps touching girl's asses so be on the look out for a green hat." Said Ami quickly as she passed by me almost spilling her drink onto the floor. I never was one to drink, but they always seemed to offer. I feel awkward going to parties sometimes because I'm not drinking I always get the urge to get smashed with the rest of them. So I do what I always do at parties I go up stairs and find a bed room lay down and wait for it to end, sad and pathetic I know but I really only ever come to parties as a way to keep Raye and the others satisfied I am a popular girl after all and if people didn't see me here they would start to wonder why.

"Serena what are you doing in here?" I heard a familiar masculine voice ask. I cocked my head to the right only to come face to face with Darien.

"Oh god, I'm not walking in on you and Raye or anything am I?" I asked confused taking a step back out the door.

"No, it's just me," He answered, I smelled the vodka on his breath and could tell he'd already drank a few shots.

"Where is Raye then?" I questioned entering the room, I'd never been alone in a bedroom with a guy before.

"How the hell should I know? She said something about feeling sick and than she walked out the door and went into another bedroom and that's the last I've seen of her so she's probably fucking some guy down the hall," He answered sitting down on the bed and taking a drink of his beer he had been holding behind his back.

"That's a terrible thing to say you know that?" I said taking a seat beside him on the bed.

"Ya well I'm pretty drunk right now so I say a lot of things I shouldn't, want a drink?" He asked offering an unopened beer out of the case on the floor.

"I… umm.." I stuttered, a part of me wanted to take that beer and chug it down just to feel the sensation everyone else felt but the other part of me held me back knowing I shouldn't.

"To tell you the truth I think you are so much more hot than Raye, I mean don't get me wrong but she's just so obnoxious sometimes that I can't stand her…"He trailed off and took another sip of his beer.

It was at that very moment as I started at the beer that I realized what had just been said, Darien had just complimented me not only that but told me I was more hot than Raye and that he can't stand her? And here I am…Doomed beyond help.