Disclaimer: Don't own Pokemon

Karate, Kung Fu and Forty-Seven Other Dangerous WordsInterlude

Dear Diary,

I think that for the first time in my life, I have run out of words.

My mind is a state of chaos and I feel like ripping the hair from my head.There are thousands of complicated thoughts just swimming through my head and I can't find the words to describe a single one of them.

And all I want to do right now is get it all on paper; perhaps so I can remember it forever, perhaps so I can make sense of it, I don't know, I just want to let it all out but the words will not come.

I don't think there's ever been a time in my life where I've been lost for words, well except for the first time I laid eyes on him.

I can still remember it all so vividly, almost as if it were a movie playing behind my eyes.The way he took my hand in his gentle grasp and smiled that charming grin of his.

I remember the way I felt as though I were the most important person on the planet, as if the mere idea of his gaze had elated me to such a high esteem.I remember feeling as if there were nobody there but the two of us, and how I wished it were true.

He was so beautiful, almost like angel or some other perfect, immortal being that one could not even begin to fathom.He was like some kind of dream made reality, like every wish combined to create this one perfect creature.

He was so genuine, so articulate.His words were like silk floating whimsically through the air and entrancing all, and all I could do was stand there opening and closing my mouth while I tried to form words in my dry mouth.

He was like some god, some untouchable hero of some sort, but completely down-to-earth and never in my life had I felt so inferior and yet so worthy all at the same time.

It was such an odd feeling to be on top of the world and yet beneath it, but at the same time it was something that felt completely natural.It was confusing, and still the only thing that made any sense.He was perfect, and yet completely flawed.

Within those few moments my whole life had been a matter of contradictions, of ups being down and rights being wrong; but at the same time, never had two things been so complimenting to each other.

It was like yin and yang.Two half's that combine to make the perfect whole and cannot exist alone without taking a little piece of its mirrored self with it.

But here I go again, just rambling on about him once again.

It's like I can't control myself.It's as if I've become completely obsessed with him.I wouldn't be surprised, I don't think a moment goes by where I don't think about him even if every thought isn't shared with you diary.

But that's not what this is supposed to be about.

This is about the most beautiful sound that I have and most likely will ever hear.

It's about a voice that makes the birds envious.A voice that seemed to take a life of its own, caressing my heart and speaking to it in ways I had never thought possible.

I could have stood there forever just wishing that it would never come to an end even if he never knew I was there.

And he didn't of course.I just couldn't let that happen.

Because, if he knew I was there, he would know I was listening and from one look he would know it all.He would know every thought that went through my mind as I listened to a voice like silk enveloping me in a gentle blanket.

He would know every thought that ever passed my mind and that every single one of them was of him.He would know every word written in this diary by heart and he would know every one I feared to speak because of what I'm so sure I would loose.He would know every sentiment engraved to my soul, every cherished feeling that filled my heart when I saw him.

He would know why I smiled when he entered the room or why my cheeks grew warm when he spoke my name.He would know that my knees grew week every time he looked at me.He would understand the overpowering thumping sound of my heart whenever he smiled and why it accelerated whenever he was near.

He would know that I loved him and he would know that I have loved him for almost as long as I have known him.He would know that I dream of his kisses at night, that when I'm in a particularly sentimental mood I like to write out my name over and over again with his last name just trying to figure out the perfect way to say it, and that sometimes, when he's not looking of course, I will stare at him for as long as possible trying to memorise every possible feature of his face.

And if he knew all that, well . . . I just don't know what I'd do if he did.

I don't think I could stand it, because I guess after the knowing comes the part where he tells me in the nicest possible way that he doesn't have any feelings for me and that he never could.

Ok, I know you probably think I'm being pessimistic and I guess some people would see it that way, but I'm not.I'm just being realistic.

I used to be optimistic, really.I used to make up imaginary scenarios in my head of how he would confess his love for me and wait for the same circumstances to develop in reality.

But that was a long time ago.That was when I was some silly naïve little girl.I'm not that same girl anymore, in this line of work, you can't be.

It doesn't pay to believe the world is all sunshine, puppies and lollipops in this darn age – people like that usually get killed.In a job like this you can't help but see the darker side of humanity, the darker side of life and things start to get grey.It gets harder to see the light and eventually all that's left are those grey areas somewhere between right and wrong.

So I guess I've grown up during my time here at Excalibur.I'm not that same girl I was when I first came here, and I guess mostly they've changed me for the better.I'm stronger, faster and I can put together a riffle in less than thirty seconds.But part of me will always miss that little girl.

I got into this business by accident, much like many of my colleagues.I don't think there's anyone here who really meant to get into the spy industry.

I kind of 'stumbled' across the base in search for my missing Pokemon and next thing I know I'm a spy.It's weird how these things work out.One minute I'm just an ordinary girl, next thing I know I'm the International Woman of Mystery.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm glad things worked out this way.If it weren't for my fortunate accident – my serendipity – then I never would have met him and now that I have I couldn't possibly imagine life without him.

He's everything that makes my life worthwhile.Without him I think I'd be lost.He's the reason for everything I do and if it weren't for him I may not even be alive today.

He means more to me than you could ever possibly imagine, more than I even truly know myself.And I love him like I've never loved anything else before.

It's strange how easily I can admit that here.Those three words I can't bare to say to his face come so easily here that I wonder constantly what's holding me back.

I love Ash Ketchum. See. That was easy.

Sometimes I think that it's just so obvious, that I wonder why he doesn't know.I mean, everybody else does – how could he not?There are some days when I'm positively petrified to look him in the eye because I'm afraid of what he'll see if he looks close enough.

I'm hopeless really.

I fell so hard, and so fast, that by the time I realised what was happening it was too late.But, I guess, if it had to be anyone, I'm glad it was him.

Signed

~ End of Interlude ~

Now we appear to be at the same point in this story which I guess means I should do some writing or something. This story is a bit harder than the others because I never actually decided where I wanted it to go, so now I'm going to have to think about it a bit.

Please review and read some of my other stuff.