Chrissy sat on a single bed in a large dormitory, by herself, writing in her journal. The therapist at the group home had suggested she start writing every time an urge came to cut herself. It had been very hard to tell people about her problems, but she was amazed at how much lighter she felt, more relieved.
She'd been at the group home now for two weeks, and she was making friends and feeling happy. Her social worker had told her that her mother had been charged and was now in a rehabilitation program for her alcohol and drug problems. There was currently a restraining order set on Jessica, and full custody had been taken from Jessica, so Chrissy was up for adoption. Chrissy didn't know how to feel about this at the moment. On the one hand, she was really happy she was getting away from her mother, but on the other hand, she feared adoption. She wasn't sure she was ready, but she continued to trust in God through all of it, like Monica had told her.
It was an extremely hot day, and as Chrissy sat alone in her room, she pulled her sweater over her head and remained in her T-shirt. She even surprised herself. She looked down at her scars and noticed they were starting to fade a bit. Chrissy hadn't cut herself since she was taken from her old house. It had been hard, but her friends and counsellors had helped her. And above all, she knew God was helping too.
As she wrote in her journal, her heart began to beat faster as she stared at the clock on the wall. It was 2:45p.m. At 3:00p.m, Chrissy would be meeting Michelle Long, a woman who was looking to foster a teenager. Chrissy's social worker, Sandra, had told her that she knew it was a little soon, but Michelle had been with the agency for a long time, fostering many teenagers, and she has shown nothing but love. Sandra wanted Chrissy to be able to experience that, so she set up a meeting.
2:50p.m. Chrissy heard the door burst open and her new friend Brandi ran into the room. She approached Chrissy and didn't seem fazed that she was wearing a T-shirt. Brandi was a cutter also, and understood completely. That was why the two got along so well.
"Chris, I know you're meeting that lady soon. I just came to say good luck." Brandi said with a smile. Chrissy managed to smile as well as she put her journal away.
"Thanks Brandi. It's gonna be weird if I go with her. I've just met you and now we might have to say goodbye." Chrissy replied.
"No we won't. We'll still go to the same school. I know Michelle Long. She lives in the area. Don't worry." Brandi smiled and left Chrissy alone.
Chrissy leaned up against her headboard. She sighed and suddenly felt like she was going to break down and cry. She felt so alone and so scared. In minutes, a total stranger would walk through the doors and Chrissy would have no idea what to say. She felt frightened and she closed her eyes. When she opened them again, Monica was sitting on the edge of Chrissy's bed.
"Hello little one." She smiled.
"Monica. You came back." Chrissy said as her eyes lit up.
"I told you I would. I'm not one to break my promises." Monica winked at her, and then looked around.
"It's beautiful here. So colourful and warm. Do you like it?" She asked.
"It's okay. It's a lot better than where I was." Chrissy replied, as she felt no urge to cover her arms. Monica noticed.
"I think T-shirts suit you much better." She said with a nod toward Chrissy's scarred arms. "They're looking better too."
"Yeah." Chrissy rubbed her fingers over the scars. "It's been hard, but it helps to know I'm not alone. My friend Brandi has been great. She's a cutter too, so she gets it. The counsellors are nice and Sandra, oh she's my social worker, has been really nice. And now…" Chrissy took a breath as she looked at Monica. "Do you already know about Ms. Long?"
"Yes I do. She's a lovely woman who serves God." Monica replied. Chrissy nodded slowly and looked down.
"I'm, uh, I'm s-scared, Monica. How will I know how to act? How will I know what to do? What if she wants me? What if she doesn't like me? What if she thinks I'm weird because I'm a cutter?" Chrissy asked as a tear finally formed. Monica edged herself close to Chrissy and embraced her.
"Don't you worry little one. God had it planned since before you were born for you and Michelle to meet. Nothing is going to go wrong. Michelle is very understanding, and you and her will get along just fine." Monica soothed. Chrissy pulled out of the embrace and stared at Monica. She had just realized something.
"You told me, that night, you told me that someone else would be along to help me too. Is…is that person Michelle?" She asked, as she suddenly felt amazed by the way God worked. Monica only smiled, and they heard footsteps.
"Goodbye Chrissy. We will meet again soon." With that, Monica disappeared from the room, and left Chrissy sitting on her bed.
The door opened and Sandra motioned a woman inside, and pointed her in the right direction. Sandra winked at Chrissy and shut the door behind her. Chrissy observed the woman who was approaching Chrissy slowly. She was really pretty, Chrissy thought, and she seemed to just light up the room with her presence.
Michelle stopped at the end of Chrissy's bed and smiled.
"Hi, I'm Michelle Long. You must be Chrissy." She reached out her hand, and Chrissy took it shyly.
"Hi, yes, I mean, I'm Chrissy." She replied timidly.
"Mind if I sit down?" Michelle asked with raised eyebrows and a grin. Chrissy shook her head and Michelle seated herself on the edge of Chrissy's bed, where Monica had been sitting not too long ago. Chrissy realized she hadn't pulled her sweater back on and suddenly felt really embarrassed. She tried to hide her arms behind her back but Michelle had already noticed.
"Don't worry about those. Your social worker already filled me in, and I'm not worried about them, so you shouldn't be." Chrissy was surprised at the kindness in Michelle's voice, and felt relieved. Chrissy still felt nervous though.
"Sandra tells me you've been through a lot." Michelle tried. Chrissy only nodded and looked away. She hoped she wouldn't have to talk about it, especially to a complete stranger, but it seemed Michelle already understood that.
"Don't worry, I don't want you to tell me about it. Maybe you can one day, but I don't expect you to open up to me yet. We met two minutes ago." Michelle explained. Chrissy thanked her. Chrissy looked over by the doorway, and saw that Monica was standing there, watching. Michelle followed Chrissy's gaze, but saw nothing. Chrissy knew right away that only she could see her angel friend.
"So Chrissy, I don't know how scary this may seem to you, but if you're willing, I'd love for you to come stay with me for a while. I have this great bedroom that overlooks the ocean and I think you'd love my puppy, Snuffy. He's such a playful little thing. I live right around the corner from here, so you could still visit your friends and go to the same school, and still see your counsellors on a weekly basis. I'd love the company, and you know, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm a pretty good listener." Michelle smiled, as she looked hard at Chrissy. Chrissy immediately felt this sense of peace when she was with Michelle. She felt safe with her. She felt as though she'd be able to tell her things without getting in trouble, or looked down upon. Chrissy peered over Michelle's shoulder and saw Monica, who was nodding at her. Chrissy knew what she had to do.
"So, what do you say? Will you come stay with me?" Michelle asked again, as Chrissy had appeared to be thinking. Chrissy looked at her, and smiled. It was a smile Monica had never seen before. It wasn't forced, it wasn't faked, and it wasn't small. It was a smile of great joy and happiness. Monica felt her heart soar when she saw her assignment light up like that.
"Okay. I will." Chrissy told Michelle meekly. Michelle smiled and nodded.
As the two continued to talk, Tess walked into the room and stood beside Monica, who had let a few tears roll down her cheek.
"Well angel girl?" She greeted. Monica turned and smiled at her mentor.
"Tess, I didn't think it would come to this. There were a few moments where I was doubtful, but look at her now. She's far from Jessica, she hasn't cut herself in two weeks, and now she's going to stay with Michelle. She's truly going to be okay, and she seems happy." Monica said as she looked back at Chrissy who was laughing at a joke Michelle had made.
"Yes baby, you did a great job. I'm very proud of you. But remember what God told you. You'll be back in this little girl's life sooner than you think. Life is going to get better for her, but she will need you again soon. But just remember this, the worst is over." Tess said with a smile. Monica nodded and looked back at Chrissy and Michelle. God had destined the two to meet each other, and by the looks of it, they were going to be just fine.
Chrissy had finally found what she had always been looking for.
That's the end of my story! Please R&R. Oh, and yes, there will be a sequel called "Relapse." It will be about Michelle and Chrissy's life together, and the depression that throws Chrissy back into her old habits.
Thanks for the great reviews so far, and please check out my other stories, and thanks for all the support.