Disclaimer: Okay, after a few bran cells exploding, and some high stress levels reached; I'm finally back and kickn' with yet another bizarre story of mine. I've been wanting to write a romance between Logan and Kitty for awhile now- and voila. This focus on Kitty from age 16 to 25 all from her brake up with Lance to her growing friendship with Logan. So… how to explain this story...um...ah... :nervous laughter: This is completely unlike anything I've ever written before. I really wanted to get deep into Kitty's character here and try to write like she would if in this sort-of position. I do realize its a little OOC but try and be reasonable here. I really didn't like the way she ways portrayed in Evolution as the preppy and bubbly I-use-like-as-every-other-word-in-my-sentences girl so I made a few intellectual changes.
W-A-R-N-I-N-G: This will include some dark themes, language, mild violence and some sex related material. I'm only going to say this once so pay attention. If you're underage; I don't care. You're the one who'll be punished. Oh did I just say that? Heh, I didn't mean to scare you kids :P
Oh and do I even need to say I don't own the rights to X-men?
Prologue
Kitty's P.O.V. (age 25)
Have I not said enough in my life? Or far too little. Seems no one listens to a thing I speak. Seems no one is around to hear. Right now I could pound my fist against my head. I have things I want to say. This urge to write, this urge... to explain. But it just says the same thing over and over again. Dissatisfaction. How much clearer can it be articulated? Till it reaches a pitch passing through ears to hearts and releasing this tension.
I hear noise.
I hear anger.
I hear frustration; stream out of me forever in a manner that just makes no fucking sense. Because my life makes no sense, and what I feel makes less. What I think is just confusion. What I say is just want to be. That while I crawl till my legs and knees are rubbed raw, I love the dirt ground into open wounds. I love the burn of your scorn.
I think of all the people in my past, of the ones who I have touched. The ones who are gone. Did they leave me, or have I left everyone. Was I ever here? Was I ever anything more than what I am now?
I'm sorry, really; the frustration just doesn't seem to want to go away.
Remmy warned me about loving you; said you were all about power, control, and domination. He was right. We were never lovers because you cannot love. Each time I tried to walk away you belittled me. You reminded me how weak I really was, how little I really knew.
And I believed you.
Not because I wanted to, not because I thought you were correct, I believed the things you said because I didn't know what else to believe.
Little cruelties, small tortures: I delighted in them. You taught me well in our years together. I learned to be merciless and cold. Anticipated cruelty comes so easily now. The stinging words that pass from my lips no longer taste bitter. I rarely think about loss anymore.
I fight and train.I speak only when necessary. I have forgotten how to cry.
I loved you and you broke me. You made me what I am, Logan. You made me like you.
Authors note: Okay, before you all go to flame me for the pairing, or simply because you think that this is just way to OOC for your brain to handle; stop. Let me just point out a few things here that could have been overlooked; Logan and Kitty do not form a relationship while she's underage, this chapter is in the FUTURE, meaning there romance develops when she's OLDER. With that in mind, It would be most appreciated if i'm not given any shit about "the age difference" or how insane I am for writing this pairing. This is a fanfiction. I have a right to alter the characters personalities. And to tell you the truth I was inspired a lot by Shadowcat's character in the ACTUAL x-men comic book; where her and Logan do end up developing a strong friendship. With that said, constructive criticism is more than welcome but please remember to keep an open mind here and I'll try my best to do the same. Thank you.