It had seemed like the perfect time, the perfect setting. Snow had started carpeting the city, giving the illusion that the city was clean, if only for a few short hours whilst the white managed to remain untainted.

They stumbled their way back to the loft, buzzing with alcohol and good cheer. Murphy watched Connor fumble with the door, promptly half draped over his twin to help get it open.

Making their way inside, they removed each other's rosaries and hung them up, hands lingering on shoulders and necks.

"I love ye, Conn. Ye know that, right?"

"Sure, I know."

On impulse, Murphy kissed Connor, suddenly, hotly, on the lips. Tasted liquor and a faint sound of surprise. He grinned as if to say Ha! Got you there, didn't I?

But Connor's eyes were closed, and his mouth was slightly twisted. For a minute, Murphy thought Connor was going to puke. But there was nothing except silence between them, stretching and contorting into something almost uncomfortable. It stifled Murphy until he had to break it. "Connor?"

Connor hand reached up to his mouth, fingers dragging over his lips, not touching, not quite wiping away the kiss. Just clamped there after a few moments and stayed.

"Connor?"

His hand dropped and he turned his back, sat down on what Murphy considered the far side of the bed, the one nearest the door.

Furthest from Murphy's bed.

"Say somethin'."

The blonde stopped, raised his head and shook it, bending back down to undo his boots.

"Connor, please... dun ignore me." He wanted to step closer but didn't, for once entirely in the dark about what his twin was thinking.

Connor dropped his boots, and lay on his back, staring at the ceiling. Slowly, Murphy moved between their beds and dropped to his knees next to his brother, keeping his hands on his arms. "Connor. F'r Chris'sake, tell me somethin'."

Blue eyes, dark with an unspoken emotion, finally turned to look at him. "I never fuck people I love."

He rolled, turning his back to Murphy.

Murphy just felt numb.