Title: Human

Slayers one-shot

pre-slash

Zelgadis POV

Notes: I was inspired to do this only after reading 16 pages of the Slayers novel. So, I guess this makes it official, huh? Xel/Zel is still my OTP. Kakakakaka! Also, this was originally a drabble, but it got a bit longer than planned.... It's not very long as it is, but it's definitely not a drabble. And, as for the bandits--I'm tired of Lina picking fights with wimpy, pathetic bandits. I wonder, what would happen if she ever had to fight one that was half-way competent? Zelgadis in season one notwithstanding. And, I doubt that this would ever happen to him, but I hope my half-assed excuse makes some sense.

----

Have you ever just had one of those moments where, you think you've got something down pat, that you couldn't get any better at doing what you're doing, then in a split second find out that you're wrong? That, for reasons you couldn't explain, that seemed too improbable to fathom, you messed up doing something that you'd done a million times before and had never messed up? At least, not since you were a kid?

The first thing that went through my mind as I fell down that cliff was "oh, shit!" The second was, "I'm such a moron!"

It was really simple. Elementary. It shouldn't have happened.

And just my luck that I was too weak to cast a levitation spell. Hell, I even tried to do it twice.

Well, I suppose this just makes sense. My whole life has been a cosmic joke, so my death should be too. It works. Though, I would've gone for a whole "down in a blaze of glory" type of thing. Not... not this.

Not that I had a lot of time to think about it.

It was Lina's fault, really, but I couldn't bring myself to be angry with her. This time anyway. It was a good scheme--attack some bandits, get some quick cash. What we hadn't counted on was the bandits being former circus performers and amateur sorcerers. (Sometimes it didn't take skill and experience to win a fight. Just dumb luck. And these people seemed like they wanted to pit their dumb luck against Lina Inverse's.) If I somehow lived when I hit the ground, I promised I'd yell at Lina about investigating her targets more thoroughly in the future. Not just picking one at random. Then again, Lina's not a thief. She didn't know. And I had no reason to be mad at her.

Halfway down, I'd accepted my death, you see. I was expecting to hit the bottom, break my neck, and go to wherever it was the dead go. And to hopefully find my grandfather there, so we can argue some more. And so I could hit him. Yeah. That sounded pretty good.

When, all the sudden, something caught me. The sudden stop shocked me more than anything, and it took me a moment to figure out what had happened. The arms cradling me like a baby were the first thing to register. Then I saw that smile.

"Nice of you to drop in, Zelgadis-san," that damned Mazoku greeted cheerfully.

Annoying bastard. He even had to use a bad pun. "Just put me down."

"As you wish." And he let me drop.

I was too surprised to do much else but cry out--and then the next thing I knew my backside hit the ground. One of the benefits of having rock for skin is that it hurts a lot less than flesh does in these situations. That isn't to say that it didn't hurt at all. I scowled up at him.

I hadn't seen him in a while, but he hadn't changed much. I took in his usual appearance in a glance then demanded, "What are you doing here, anyway?"

His head tilted to the side, grin not wavering. In fact, it grew. Smug bastard. "Why, saving you, of course."

"Wonderful," I said. "I don't suppose you'll tell me ahead of time what you're going to trick us into doing, are you?"

He shook his head, his short hair moving with the motion. I sat down on a rock to study him--well, to glare in annoyance really, and because I was pretty exhausted. He really hadn't changed. Still a bit feminine looking, though slightly taller than me, with the staff in hand created by his own power. I think it's merely an amplifier for his own magic--he's a Mazoku, one of the most powerful of his rank, he didn't really need it. Then again, Xellos likes his secrets. I really don't know.

"Of course not, Zelgadis-san," he answered. "That would take all the fun!"

I shook my head at that and found myself smiling slightly. Lina and I had discussed Xellos' presence, and we accepted him as a necessary evil. As long as his master didn't want to kill us too, then we'd just have to live with him. He'd never tell us the whole truth about what was going on around us, but having him around was better than not--it gave us the opportunity to try and figure it out. Gourry seemed to understand. Well, as much as he ever does. Amelia, being the idealist that she is, still doesn't. But I think that deep down she believes that Xellos isn't really evil because she knows him.

Not that I've ever heard her say that. I wouldn't be surprised if it were true, though.

"Ah!" Xellos looked up. Above us, there was a loud explosion, then distantly we both saw Lina and Gourry looking down at us. "I think they're finished."

"You okay, Zel?" Lina called. She sounded more amused than worried.

"Yeah!" I shouted back. "Thanks for the help."

She laughed. "You look like you had plenty of it already!"

I snorted. Xellos chuckled.

"I suppose you'll be getting back to them now," he remarked.

"Yeah." I stood stiffly, but trying to cover it up. I didn't like showing weakness in front of him, out of pride more than the fact that he could always turn around and become an enemy. Maybe Amelia wasn't the only one who trusted him on some level. "You coming?"

"Hmm." He looked like he was actually thinking about it, too. Cheeky bastard. "Well, for a little while, I suppose."

"Uh huh." I began walking up the path on the side of the mountain. It would take us to the top of the cliff. There was a town nearby, but the only way to get to it was going over this mountain, so I knew that Lina and Gourry would already be on their way. Amelia too, if she wasn't waiting for me to catch up. Both were likely.

"I was watching the battle, and I have to say," Xellos said conversationally, "that I didn't expect you to fall. You seemed to have everything well in hand until that point."

I shrugged irritably, more mad at myself then him. "It was just a random thing. Happens to seasoned swordsmen all the time."

Xellos nodded. "True." He looked at me out of the corner of his eye. "But, perhaps it was something more than that?"

I glowered. He went on.

"Perhaps you were distracted by something. Perhaps your thoughts were elsewhere."

"Well, somebody was paying attention, wasn't he?" I ground out through clenched teeth, contemplating knocking him down. If he fell just right, he'd roll right down the path. It would've been funny.

He smirked. "Ah, I thought it was something like that."

I sighed. "Do you really want to know, or are you just keeping yourself occupied until you can bug Lina?"

"I really want to know," he said. Was that honesty I heard in his voice? Perhaps my ears were popping from the high altitude.

"I'll probably regret telling you, but--today is mine and Rezo's anniversary."

I hadn't really expected his eyes to bug out like that, but it was certainly gratifying to see. I hadn't ever gotten the upper hand on him in a joke before. It felt good.

"Not like that, you pervert," I added before he could speak. "Today was the day that my beloved grandfather turned me into a chimera, all those years ago."

"Ah! I see." He seemed back to normal, but his smile was gone. I had to wonder why. "But, anniversary? That's a bit morbid, even for you, Zelgadis-san."

I snorted. "Well, I'm hardly human anymore, so it doesn't make much difference how morbid I get."

He did something then I definitely didn't expect. The purple-haired Mazoku stepped in front of me, right in my personal space. His eyes were open, and I couldn't help but gaze back. I hadn't seen him this serious before unless it was in a fight. Then, just as quickly, the look was gone, replaced by something even stranger.

This smile was soft, barely there. And with his eyes still open, I couldn't help the breath that caught in my throat. I'm not blind, mind you. I've always known he was attractive. But right then, that expression, the evening sun shining on his features, alighting those slitted eyes with a warm light. Right then, he was---

"I have lived for a very long time, Zelgadis-san. So believe me when I say that you are one of the most human humans I've ever known."

And he turned and resumed walking up the path. I was too stunned to move.

I wonder, even now, if he realized how much that meant to me.

End.

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