"When WWE Superstars Work At Wal-Mart" Chapter 1: Who's The Old Guy With The Clipboard?
A/N:
Whoa...yet another genius infamous WWE Wal-Mart story from
Mentally- After the horrible incident where nearly all
the WWE Superstars wreaked havoc upon a small town super Wal-Mart,
there was really only one way Vince McMahon would afford to pay for
the damages, and truly pay off the Superstars' bail. They had
to get a job..AT the Wal-Mart. And, once again, Kurt was
driving the van full of WWE Superstars to the Wal-Mart. "Maaan..I
don't wanna work." Kurt whined. "Dammit, you're
always whining, fool! I'm sick of it!" "Shut up,
Luther! You can't talk to me like that! You're my
proteg
Unstable!!! YEAHZ!!! Dedicated to
CenasNakedInMyBedWithMe, cause she gave me ideas for it and she said
the first chapter WAS PURE GENIUS. Thank you!!! .
Yes...mwahahhahhaahahahaha...wheee. MORE DAVE ON THE MECHANICAL
PONY!!! XD XD XD
"LUUUUUUUUTTTTHHHHAAAAAHHHHH!!!" Melony screamed.
"What?" Luther asked.
"Nothin', just checking."
Luther had a blank stare.
Speaking of "checking," Edge and Christian were making sure they brought everything.
"De-contamination suits?" Edge asked.
"Check." Christian replied.
"Extra toilet paper?"
"Check."
"Latex gloves?"
"Check."
"SPF 80 Sun
screen?"
"Check."
Eddie tapped Edge on the shoulder, "Uhh..yo, Holmes, why do you need all that stuff, essay?"
"Man, do you KNOW how many germs are in these stores? I could get sick and, like, die!" Edge said.
Eddie raised an eyebrow, and went back to his business.
"We're..sniffle..here." Kurt said sadly, wiping away a tear.
"Yaay." Everyone said dryly, before getting out of the van and heading into the store entrance way..thingie.
"Auuutttuuummmnn.." Dave smiled, "Can I have a....?"
"Oh God.." Autumn groaned, "Didn't we do this last time?"
"PWEASE?!! I'll be gurd!" He grinned.
She sighed, "Ohh-kay," She dug in her pocket and gave Dave a quarter, "But just this once."
Happily, Dave took the quarter and ran over to the mechanical horse.
"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
!"
"Oh, God, I'm so embarr...IS THAT HAPPY BUNNY?!!" Triple H ran over to the machine and popped in some quarters, "Wow! A sticker AND an action figure! Coolness."
"Teeeeeennnnnn-HUT!" Somebody yelled.
Everyone looked over and saw...Jack O'Neill?!?! (A/N: Don't kill me, CNIMBWM...)
"WHOA!! JACK!!" Autumn screamed.
Melony bashed her over the head, "Shut it, fool."
"Ow."
"Shut up, sucka!" Booker yelled, "That's Jack O'Neill!"
Jack
sighed, "No, this is not a crossover. I am here to give you your
assignments."
Everybody stared.
Jack began to read off the clipboard, "Autumn and Randy..."
"Did you bring the cheesypoofs?"
"Sorry, Randy, I forgot."
"We must have CHEESYPOOFS!"
"You two get the Electronics Department. Luther Reigns!"
Luther looked up, "Do you know how to beat the Elite 4 on Pokémon Red?"
"You work in Toys. Melony and John!"
"Oooh...it's so pretty." Melony was mesmerized at the spinning turntable on John's belt.
"You wanna make out, you..hottie?"
"You two get the Jewelry department!" Jack cringed when John and Melony started making out. "Now..uhm..Dave and Charlie.."
"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"
"I can't believe air strip over here replaced me!"
"You guys get the Pharmacy."
Dave drooled, "Pills! YES! HIGH FIVE!"
Charlie stared at him.
"Ok..Mental Five..oh yeah."
Jack cleared his throat, "Benoit and Triple H!"
"Oh man, I want an Icee..."
"HAPPY BUNNY! HAPPY BUNNY!"
"You two are in the Sporting Goods."
"YAAY!! BOUNCY BALL!" Hunter
yelled.
"Jericho!"
Jericho was bust adjusting the little ponytail on top of his head.
"You work the Snack Bar."
"SWEET!" Benoit yelled, "He can score me free Icees!"
"RVD!"
Rob was..meditating.
"You get produce."
Autumn squeezed Rob's butt, "Oooh..juicy."
"EDDIE AND BOOKER!"
"To infinity and beyond, Holmes!"
"Fool! That's Buzz Lightyear! Not Stargate!"
"What's the diff?"
"You two are in Layaway!"
Eddie gulped, "Ohh..memories."
Booker giggled.
"Kurt Angle!"
"Da-da-da-da-da da da da da! I suck..I suck!"
"You get to be coke man!" Jack threw the outfit at Kurt and knocked him over. Kurt stood up and glared at Jack, "Fool! Are you trying to kill me?!"
"Uhm..no." Jack looked around nervously.
"OK! That's all I wanted to know." Kurt picked up his outfit.
"Ahem..JBL, Orlando, and..Bashams!"
"I'm so proud to be here
in.." JBL looked confused, "Where are we?"
"Wal-Mart."
Orlando whispered.
"Wha..? Wal-mart? What the hell are we doing here?!?!"
"You four will be in Automotives."
"WHAT? AUTOMOTIVES? I'M THE GREATEST WWE CHAMPION EVER! I CAN'T WORK IN AUTOMOTIVES!"
"Hey, Mr. McMahon just paid me to read this."
"How much did he pay you?" Melony asked.
"...Twenty bucks."
"Nice."
"ANYWAY! Rey Mysterio!"
"Who's that jumpin' out the sky?!" Rey looked outside, "Oh..it's rain."
"You'll work the..up and down thingie."
"Coolies! I shall have to re-charge the 619 Cam!"
"Edge and Christian!"
Edge and Christian walked up in their de-contamination suits, "Sir, yes, sir!" They yelled.
"Uhhmm..you two work in clothing."
"YAAY! THONGS!" They ran inside the store.
"René and Mark, you two work at the Make-Up counter."
"Woot! Facials!" Mark said happily.
"And hair dye." René waggled his eyebrows.
"Uhm..Shawn Michaels."
"I'm a SEXY BOY!" Shawn danced around.
"Yes sir, you're..very sexy.." Jack said,
"You're gonna work in the gardening department."
"YES!"
And, Shawn danced away in his assless chaps.
"And last but not least..Brock!"
Brock was eating his cookies.
"You'll work in the bakery."
Brock kept nibbling on his cookie.
"And that's your assignments. You'll work here for seven days, and you will see me on the last day. Please form a straight line and enter the Wal-Mart like sane folks! Good luck!"
Everyone crowded into the Wal-Mart.
"Never mind." Jack threw the clipboard down and walked away.