Chapter 9

The Giant, FUN Cooking Show!

" Welcome to the Buddy Barn Bonny Cooking Competion Show! I'm your exploding host, Host Jack!" Said Host Jack. " Is everyone ready for some CRAAAAZY COOKING!"

" YEAH!" Yelled the exploding masses.

" Well… let's meet our judges! Our first judge is… none other than… WONDER CHEF!" Host Jack said excitedly. " Now… where could he be?" Then he looked all around for Wonder Chef, but… Wonder Chef wasn't there! Then everyone noticed a PERMISSCUOUS panda stuffed animal and tapped the A button.

" IT IS I! WONDER CHEF!" Said Wonder Chef, appearing in a flash of smoke. " I will… judge your cooking." Then he sat down in one of the three judges chairs.

" And now for our second judge… CARL THE TALKING PURPLE WOOPER!" Said Host Jack pointing enthusiastically to a very dissatisfied little purple Wooper that marched angrily onto the stage and hopped into the chair. But he was so short you couldn't even see him.

" What are YOU looking at? Punks." Said Carl.

" And our last judge… Oolgi Omikse!" Said Host Jackt pointing to a completely random fool wearing a giant purple parka. Oolgi Omikse smiled and waved to the exploding masses.

" Great to have you here Judges. And now… our sponsors! Buddy Barn Carpet Cleaner. Because a Clean Carpet… is NOT dirty! And Bonnyrade! Mmm… it's BONNY!" Said Host Jack as Tidus, Gumba, and Wumba waved like fools in the background.

" Now we all know why we're gathered here today…DA-HUCK! We're here to see who will win the GRAND PRIZE for a trip to… Chucky Cheeses! And bragging rights! Mostly bragging rights! So let's meet our contestants vying for this prize. First up… IFRIT!"

" GO IFRIT!" Tidus, Gumba and Wumba yelled.

" Ah am goin' to Chuckah Cheeses, where ah barin kin be a barin!" Ifrit said enthusiastically.

" Our second contestants… Shuuichi Shindou and Hiro Nakano from BAD LUCK!" Said Host Jack.

" I'LL WIN THIS COMPETION, YUKI! And then… you and I will go to Chucky Cheeses… TOGETHER!" Shuuichi yelled at the top of his lungs, falling to the floor and crying because he was so overcome with emotion.

" Whatever." Said Yuki, standing there because he has nowhere better to be. " It's not like I want to go."

" WHAT!" Shuuichi gasped.

" I don't want to go to some stupid place with some dumbass retarded mouse AGAIN." Said Yuki.

" But… but… it would be fun…!" Shuuichi sniffled.

" For you, rubbing a balloon and having it make your hair stand up is fun." Said Yuki.

" ARGH!" Said Shuuichi. " YUKI, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! EVEN WHEN YOU'RE HIDING THE FACT THAT YOU WANT ME TO WIN THIS COMPETION SO BADLY!"

" I DON'T!" Yuki yelled.

" Why do I always get dragged into these things…?" Hiro muttered.

" I'm here!" Tatsuha yelled, running up in an outfit completely identical to Yuki's. Everyone gave him an awkward look as he stood there, looking around enthusiastically.

" Why are you here?" Everyone asked.

" I'm here to pretend to be Nii-san to bolster Shuuichi's courage so he can win the competion! I just have to dye my hair!" Tatasuha said, whipping a a bottle of bleach.

" We don't NEED you to pretend to be Yuki this time." Hiro sighed.

" Why not-HEY! YOU ALREADY GOT A YUKI LOOK-A-LIKE! YOU'VE REPLACED ME! HOW DARE YOU!" Tatsuha yelled, staring at Yuki with a horrified expression.

" I AM YUKI! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW YOUR OWN BROTHER!" Yuki yelled at Tatsuha.

" BOKU TO YUKI! BOKURA AI NO CHIKARA! CHUCKY! VICTORY!"

" SHUT UP!"

" Uh… moving on… we have our last contestant… Shoopuf Dude! And now a commerical!" Said Host Jack.

Then there was a commercial.

" And now, the cooking portion of this show begins! Let's watch, shall we!" Host Jack said excitedly.

Well, poor Ifrit THOUGHT he was making bonny food… but he was making SIBERIAN food! GASP! The IRONY! IF ONLY TIDUS HAD TOLD HIM THE TRUTH!

Shuuichi and Hiro were making… something. It wasn't good. But I hope you weren't expecting it TO be good. Because it won't be.

" I can go on, knowing you're cheering for me Yuki!" Shuuichi said happily.

" Shut up, dumbass." Said Yuki.

And Shoopuf Dude-

ANOTHER COMMERCIAL!

" Alright…" Said Host Jack, " Everyone has pretty much finished up their cooking, so let's all let our judges have a try! First up… Ifrit's dish of… BONNY FROSTY PANCAKES!"

And so they began to pass Ifrit's crazy pancakes down. First, Wonder Chef took a bite.

" This is… okay. But I, Wonder Chef, could teach you an even better recipe! You need only to find me and tap the A button!" Said Wonder Chef, and passed the plate down to Carl.

Carl got the pancake stuck on his antler, so it took awhile to get that down. Then he took a tiny bite and chewed on it for like an hour.

" Sucks." He told Ifrit, who burst into tears.

" Don't cry, Ifrit! Oolgi Omikse still hasn't tried it!" Host Jack said.

Oolgi took a DEEP bite… then started crying. " This reminds me of my homeland of Siberia that I was seperated from so long ago! HANDS DOWN, THE WINNER! WE DON'T EVEN NEED TO TASTE THE REST!"

" WHAT!" Shuuichi screamed.

" You can't do that." Said Carl, but was ignored.

" THE WINNER!" Shouted Host Jack, then exploded. Then everyone lifted Ifrit up on their shoulders and caught on fire and died.

" NOOOO! CHUCKY!" Shuuichi cried.

" Don't cry, Shuu-chan." Said Hiro, hugging Shuuichi. " I'll lend you the eight dollars to take yourself and Yuki to Chuckee Cheeses."

" HIRO! YOU'RE THE BESTEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD!" Shuuichi cheered.

" NO!" Said Yuki. " DAMN YOU NAKANO!"

" What is this? It's good." Said Tatsuha, staring at a bottle of Bonnyrade.

THE END!

And now… for what happened to everyone! (in order of appearance)

Tidus forgot all about making a new sport and instead became a very succsessful sports drink creator and made MILLIONS off on Bonnyrade!

Chumba… came back only to find no sport to challenge Blitzball and then exploded!

Yuna… exploded!

Ifrit went to Chuckee Cheeses and accidently burnt it down and everyone rejoiced.

Gumba continued to be Tidus's Vice President!

Wumba continued to be easily impressed!

Auron got drunk, then while he was sober, had some Bonnyrade, then got hooked on that for the rest of his life! Hurrah!

Luzzu and Mega-Pool-Don opened up a Pool reservation and spent the rest of their days living happily on it.

The Voodoo Mafia dissapeared into the shadows… who knows when they will… strike again. Or if they will strike again. Or if they can strike again. Or if they would want to if they could.

Wakka and Kimahri continued to spread Holiday Cheer to the World! YAAAAY!

Brother continued to… be so inexplainable! Luzzu.

Auron took Seymour to Ayame's shop and Ayame made him look pretty! But nobody likes Seymour so he was still a neglected, sorry excuse for a villian.

Carl threw a hissy fit.

Wonder Chef mysteriously dissapeared in a flash of smoke.

Oolgi Omikse went back to his homeland of Siberia.

The unimportant people exploded.

Buddy Barn Guy went off to wherever it was Buddy Barn Guy's go.

Poor Fruit Bat turned Cid flapped off to find someone who could help him.

And Shoopuf Dude-

" I KNEW I WOULDN'T HAVE TO TAKE OFF THIS SHIRT!" yelled Jecht.

Kureno Chuckle Count: 24

Jay and Silent Bob will return in ' Legal Shoopuf'

See you Space Shoopuf…