On a First Name Basis – Seventh Year
James hadn't said anything to Lily since she hurt him in sixth year. He never stopping liking her, not for one moment, but he hadn't said anything to her. There was no possible way he could redeem himself now. He felt sad for long periods of time, because the sensible side of him was shouting 'James, you have to give up on this girl! She's never going to like you. This year will finish and you'll never see each other again, so give up now.' However, something else in James was screaming even louder, 'James, don't you dare stop now! Not after this long. She'll see it soon. Keep waiting.' And so, this is what James had spent his seventh year at Hogwarts doing. Studying and waiting.
It wasn't without a great mass of rumour that James managed to spend a large amount of his final year at school in silence. People were saying he had gone quite insane because of the N.E.W.T's, and others were saying that he had accidentally magically silenced himself by eating too many owl droppings. Speaking only to Remus, Sirius, and Peter, James paid no attention to the buzz of his lacking social life, but instead threw himself into his school work.
He missed her, James missed Lily so much, the way that he could never talk to her, the way he could never say anything. He even felt awkward glimpsing at her for a brief second because he knew that she might yell at him. To tell him to go back to the screaming girls and to leave people like her alone. But the small moments that he did get to look at her, and the small moments when he caught her staring at him, they made all his studying worthwhile.
Lily knew that it was her fault. That James had changed completely because she had hurt him, and after the first week of his helpless disposition, Lily felt utterly awful. She had spent a large amount of time pondering on what she could possibly say to him to fix things, but failed every time. It seemed there would be nothing that could cure this, Lily had no idea of what she needed to do.
What made Lily feel worse, was that she missed him. She didn't understand why at first, after having spent six years loathing him, but then it dawned on her shortly after she had hurt James. The more she hated him, the more he tried, and something in her enjoyed the way he would chase her down at least three times a day. James could have had his choice of any girl in the school, but he never gave up on her, not for nearly seven years, and she had just made him feel horrible. Lily had pretended she hated James, but was indeed fooling herself. She didn't want to like James, because she wanted him to try something else new and adorable to try and get her.
And now, she had ruined it all, and was under the firm belief that she had destroyed any chance she would have with him. She could see the event happening in her mind, her telling James that she had been so stupid, and she was sorry for giving him that glare so many times (he probably hated that facial expression by now), and that if he wanted, well, maybe something could happen. She then saw herself being rejected, and her feeling as cold and as broken as James must have felt when she hurt him.
When James was studying late that evening, he didn't notice Lily walk down into the common room, look at him, and then sit down on the stairs. He didn't notice her staring at him, or fidgeting, like she was trying to make the toughest decision she had ever had to make. He didn't notice her set her face into her 'determined' expression, and walking quietly down the stairs. James only noticed when he felt the couch sink a little bit further, and a small hand touch him on the shoulder.
He felt rather embarrassed with himself, when he did nothing but let his jaw drop as he spent the most of this opportunity drawing this perfect image of Lily permanently into his mind. She was so close to him, he could count all her freckles, and so close he could get immensely lost in her eyes. He continued gaping, until she finally took her hand away from his shoulder, and placed it back on her lap, then quickly turning rather pink.
Lily didn't want to take her hand away from him, she was enjoying having him look at her like that, the way he always used to, but her never understanding what it meant. She sat there, looking at him just as much back, finally enjoying having the chance to stare at James, instead of pretended that she didn't want to. He was more attractive than she had realised. She wanted to fiddle with her now favourite bit of hair that would simply refuse to lie flat, and she want to move her hand onto his, so she could feel what it was like to have her fingers interlaced into his. Lily knew she would have take her hand away, and when she did, she wished he knew how much she didn't want to.
"What's going on?" James asked in a state of disbelief.
"I don't know," Lily honestly replied.
They stared at each other more.
"I'm so sorry for what I've done to you, Lily."
She enjoyed every moment of hearing James say her name. It felt perfect, as though she wished he had been saying nothing else but 'Lily' to her ever since she first heard her voice.
"It's alright, James, I'm the one who needs to…."
"No, no. Let me. I never meant to throw those chocolate frogs on you."
Lily looked surprised, and squeaked, which made James' stomach squirm.
"Y-you remember that?"
"I'm fairly sure that's the moment you started hating me."
Lily didn't want to admit that he was completely right. She just smiled sheepishly.
"It's my turn now, James," she paused for a moment to enjoy saying his name properly, and then continued, "I'm sorry I've done this to you. I had no idea, I never thought that anything you felt might be, well, something positive, anyway."
"How did you know that my feelings were positive?"
"I asked Professor McGonagall how many times my initials had been etched around the school."
James turned, if possible, a brighter pink.
"313 times so far, and she says she's sure there are several that haven't been discovered yet. I'm impressed."
"Well, that's what happens when the girl you're obsessed with hates you for seven years."
"I didn't mean to hate you! I was just stupid. And, wait- what? You're obsessed with me?"
"Of course I am."
Lily knew that something was going to be said, something that indicated that he might like her, but she wasn't expecting that. She wasn't expecting anything else, she was already melting, but James continued.
"I couldn't help it, every year it's been getting worse and worse. I couldn't, and I still can't stop thinking of you, ever. You've become exactly and everything that I've ever wanted, and I don't think that I could be more in love."
She said nothing, but a small grin erupted on her face.
"I really, really, really do love you Lily."
She still said nothing.
"If you need proof, you can ask the fat lady, she was present at the moment when I first said I did, and if you still don't beli…"
James couldn't speak anymore. Lily had leant forward and kissed him quickly.
"And I'm so in love with you, James."
James couldn't help himself; he let out a loud hoot of joy and then hugged her so tightly, so that she possibly couldn't escape him again. He kissed her, this time full of so much meaning, and so much happiness, that James felt like bombarding Lily with every single wonderful thought he had ever had about her.
"Hey, Potter, how about you go out with me?" Lily asked playfully.
"Evans, you just stole my line! I don't even know why you'd want to do that, seeing as it's failed me several hundred times…"
"Well, Potter, I thought I could make it work!"
"Of course I'll go out with you, Lily!"
"Wait until Petunia hears about this!"
"Your sister?"
"Yeah, she married Vernon, who looks like a baby whale."
"Do I look like a baby whale, Evans?"
"Yes, you actually do Potter!"
"Excellent, your parents will love me then!"
"As long as you promise me that you won't ever feel like blowing up our kitchen!"
They both laughed, while Lily finally held his hand, and James was able to tell her how much he loved her.
And Lily was sure that it was Petunia's turn to be the jealous one, James was most certainly not a baby whale.