Yeah, I know this story's a little weird, but that's okay, right? Onward, brave reader!

If You Give the Count a Cookie

If you give the Count a Cookie, he'll probably want some tea to go with it.
If he gets some tea, he'll probably be polite and invite you to join him.
If you're stupid enough to accept, then you'll probably start to fall for the Chinese man's charm.
If you fall for his charm, you probably won't notice the smell of sweet incense.
If you don't notice the incense, you'll most certainly catch sight of the exotic array of animals.
If you watch the animals, the Count will see you looking and ask if you would like one.
If something possesses you to say yes, then the Count will inquire as to what you had in mind.
If you answer nothing unparticular, the Count will probably say that he knows of something you might like.
If you seem the least bit interested, the Count ask you to come into the back room with him.
If you follow, well, you were dead from the moment you stepped into the shop.

The End