Yeah, I'm back. Lame excuses for my prolonged absence are given in my note for Beyond Knightfall. I hope my brain is working properly again, but I make no promises.

Replies to reviews-

Wild KS Phoenix- I don't think it will spoil much to say that Bruce is going to take full advantage of being young, strong, and agile again. As for Ace, that poor dog won't know if he's coming or going if any more magic goes wrong.

Moriko_Nightdream- I haven't identified that quote because nobody else has.

Nixariel- Until now. Yes, the summary quote is based on the line from The Last Unicorn.

BlazeStryker- I like the idea, and your description of Rayvyn is spot on. I already know where this is going, though, and rest assured, when it finally appears it should be satisfying, even if Raven isn't involved.

Bruce wasn't blind-sided very often, but this night had been one hit after another. Perhaps that was why he handled Mary's statement with less than his usual aplomb.

"Huh?" he said intelligently.

"I've known from the start. Terry isn't as sneaky as he thinks he is, at least not where I'm concerned. The night he moved back in with Matt and me, he found a disc hidden in a picture of him and his father after Matt messed around with it. Being Terry, he checked it out, and Matt being Matt, he stuck his nose in and then told me everything. Matt couldn't make sense of what he saw, but Terry grabbed the disc and took off- which admittedly, is the only part I actually saw. At the time, I thought Terry just needed some time alone, but when he didn't come home until almost dawn, well, I snooped. I went into the room and found the batsuit under the bed. I didn't know what it was then, and I had been intending to ask Terry about it, but then you showed up with the lamest excuse I've ever heard."

"Lame?"

"'Hooligans'?"

"Fair enough." Terry had commented on that too, and Bruce had to admit it hadn't been one of his better covers.

"I still didn't know what was going on, but it was clear that it meant a lot to Terry, so I held off for a little while. Then Batman started showing up, and I recognised the costume. I might not know much about your life, Mr. Wayne, but I know how important it is to keep a secret identity. Although I have to admit, I've never understood the logic behind people being in danger if they know. It always seemed to me that the dangers would be in your enemies knowing, and if we don't know there's a threat, we can't be ready for it. Like when Stalker kidnapped Matt- Matt didn't know anything, and still doesn't, but he was taken anyway because of his connection to Terry. And those Jokerz hurt Dana because she's Terry's girlfriend. Max- okay, Max finds her own trouble and always has even before she knew, and, yes, we have talked. Her excuses are better than yours, but she has a tell- she's a lot smoother when she lies than when she's just talking."

"Yes, I've noticed that. And as much as I wish I could argue your logic, I've never been entirely sure about that myself. In my case, the ones who didn't know I couldn't tell for various reasons. In Terry's- well, I didn't know enough about any of you yet. And by the time I did-"

Mary nodded

"Oh, yes, I know how that goes."

Bruce's frown deepened as a memory hit him, followed by another.

"He said you laughed when he told you he was Batman, when that reporter nearly unmasked us."

"Well, yes, I did, but that was because Matt was there. He's really not old enough to handle a secret like that, and I was sure that report was a bunch of hype. I didn't want Terry's cover blown because his little brother talked at the wrong time. Believe me, if Matt hadn't been there, it would have gone differently."

He believed her. But there was still the other matter.

"The slappers."

Mary winced.

"Okay, that was just me grabbing the Idiot Ball. I wish I had a good excuse, but it was really just mom-instincts going haywire combined with an Irish temper. I did apologise, though."

"Good. But back to the matter at hand- I know how I would choose to play this out, but you do have a say in this. My plan is to live as Terry until this is straightened out, but to have him appear to be staying at Wayne Manor until I'm back on my feet. It wouldn't be the first time it's happened, so nobody should comment. That way, I'll have more time to cover for both of us, not to mention looking for him. I don't want to take the chance that something will prevent him from reaching us."

Mary nodded again.

"You'll have to come home to pack some of his things, and to pick up his bike from wherever he left it. I doubt you'll have a hard time fooling Matt, but you never know- kids have an amazing knack of noticing exactly what you don't want them to."

"Mom, Terry's acting wierder than usual!"

"Now I know why some animals eat their young," Bruce grumbled. From the moment he set foot in the condo, Matt had been following him around, asking questions with a smirk on his face. Bruce had answered the first few before he realised that Matt wasn't actually looking for answers, just to bug Terry. It was one of the rare occasions he was glad to be an only child.

"Matt, leave him alone. You've heard his stories about how Mr. Wayne gets when he's laid up, and he's going to be stuck with him for a few days."

Oh, he tells stories, does he?

Matt grimaced.

"Okay, okay. Geez, when I start working, I'm not gonna work for some crabby old rich guy."

"He's not that bad," Bruce protested, suspecting that he was. Matt's look didn't help.

"I thought you said he was a self-centered jackass who didn't want anyone else to have a life since he'd screwed up his chances at one."

Bruce froze.

"I... When did I say that?"

"When he called you in just as you were going to the semi-formal with Dana."

"Oh. Right." Terry had been furious, especially when it turned out to be a false alarm. Bruce could easily imagine him saying just that, under the circumstances. Barbara had lit into him too, when she found out. Worse, she'd told Clark, who had just sighed and told Barbara to let him know when Senior Prom was, just to be sure, because somebody had to make sure Terry got a taste of normal high school and God knew Bruce wouldn't be the one to do it.

"And then when he fired you, you called him-"

"Yeah, I know." He didn't, but he knew it wouldn't be pretty.

"And just last week, you said-"

"Matt!" Suddenly he was finding it very easy to channel Terry. He just hoped it would continue to be that easy.

Terry, meanwhile, was curled up in a ball, asleep.

Barbara paced in the hall, worried and angry. A major bust had gone down, the Jokerz and the Ts had held a small rumble in the park, and Mad Stan had blown up a fire hydrant. She wasn't sure she wanted an explanation for that last, but the important factor in all three events was that Batman had been nowhere to be found. She had come to the manor as soon as she could, only to find it deserted except for a woebegone Ace.

Good explanation or not, I think I'll let them know just how bad an idea leaving me out of the loop is.

She heard the kid's bike come up the drive; she followed the dog to meet him at the front door, best glare locked and loaded. It faltered a bit when Terry walked in looking every bit as grim as Bruce at his broody best.

"What happened, kid?"

Terry stopped, stared for a moment, then groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose in such a Bruce-like manner that she had to bite her lip to keep from grinning. Whatever it was, it couldn't be too bad.

"I was really hoping you wouldn't find out about this," he growled.

"Yeah, well, sucks to be you."

"You have no idea." It was surprising how well the Bat-glare set on Terry's face, but it only made her grin break out.

Ace approached slowly, sniffed, cocked his head, sniffed again, and slumped to the floor.

"Yes, boy, it's me. Don't get used to it; it is NOT permanent."

Wait a minute...

"Bruce?"

"Long story."

"Take the time."

"Let's just say my opinion of magic is not likely to change in the near future and leave it at that."

Oh. My. God.

Barbara fought it as long as she could, but eventually she couldn't help it; she laughed.

"Bruce, how the hell do you get yourself into these things?"

"In this case, it was Terry, a patch of wet leaves, and a delusional Whoopie Witch."

"So what does the kid look like, or do I even want to know."

"Furry."

"Turned him into a dog?"

"No, a cat."

Barbara laughed even harder.

"It's not funny."

"The hell it isn't! So where is he?"

"I don't know."

She stopped laughing.

"He didn't run off, did he? How far did the transformation go?"

"No, she took him while we were- well, since you know this much, I suppose I should tell you the rest. Come into the library, you'll probably want to be sitting for parts of it."

She did. When Bruce finished, it was her turn to pinch the bridge of her nose and groan.

"So let me get this straight- we've got you turned into Terry, and every minute you're him makes you that much younger when you're back to being you, and Terry is a cat, and the longer he's like that, the more likely it is that he'll have permanent effects from it too."

"More or less."

"Well, at least you're with The Horde. They've got a reputation for being less prone to bullshit than most mystical types."

Bruce smirked.

"Pity they're in the minority. But they have Jason's approval, which is saying a lot."

"There is one thing that worries me, though."

"Only one?"

"Bruce, can you honestly think of a better example of the Evil Patriarchal Male than yourself? I mean, to someone like this Rayvyn idiot's way of thinking," Barbara hurriedly added. Bruce raised an eyebrow at her.

"Ra's al Ghul. Current appearance notwithstanding, of course."

"Okay, but somebody who's actually in Gotham? You're rich, powerful, single, old- well, maybe not at the moment- and in your own body you're still a big man. To someone like that, you might as well carry a sign that says, 'I was born to subjugate women.' Doesn't matter that the thought never crossed your mind; she won't see you, just what you look like to her."

"Just as well she won't be seeing me, then. Terry isn't built to intimidate, although that could change as he gets older."

Barbara snorted.

"If you're expecting him to end up built like you were-"

"Don't be ridiculous, we're two entirely different body types. But he could still grow a bit; he's only eighteen so it's not impossible. At any rate, that isn't the issue here. I'm not particularly worried about that idiot coming after me because I'm Bruce Wayne, but it's entirely possible that she could see me and think that Terry somehow managed to break her spell. That could be useful, but it could also be very dangerous; I'm not sure what would happen if she tried layering a spell on top of the one that did this. I'll admit that being young again has its advantages, but I'd prefer not to be eighteen for the rest of my life, and I certainly don't want to be eighteen in someone else's body! And that's the best-case scenario."

"Do I want to know what your worst-case scenario is? Never mind, stupid question."

Bruce ignored that.

"I'm planning on heading out in a few hours. I don't doubt that Terry will make his way back here as soon as possible, but if we can find him, it will save us a lot of time. There are a few out looking already, and there will be more tomorrow after they recover. Terry's resourceful, but I still want him found quickly."

"Give me a description and-"

"Only if it's Barbara looking, not Commissioner Gordon."

"Of course. What would I tell them, that they're looking for a teenager who's been turned into a cat? Not a splicer, but an actually, tweety-chasing puddy tat?"

Bruce glared at her again, and once again Barbara was surprised at how natural it seemed, almost as though Terry really was a younger, slimmer Bruce. If she didn't know better, she would wonder just how long Bruce had known Mary McGinnis. She made a mental note to look up Terry's grandparents to see if there was a connection; even taking into account that this was Bruce behind Terry's face, the resemblence had always been there. She had noticed it before. Still, it wasn't important at the moment.

"This storm is working in our favor," Bruce said. "Fewer people on the street. On the other hand, Terry is a mostly-black cat at the moment, which means he'll be practically invisible even when he doesn't feel like it. He'll probably be hiding, and he has to sleep sometime. Especially if his body's instincts overrule his own inclinations. He won't be easy to find unless he wants someone to see him."

"Do you have a picture of him, so I don't waste my time on the wrong cat?"

"Of course."

"Sorry, that was a silly question."

Bruce went to his computer and called up the pictures he'd taken while Terry hadn't been looking, as well as the one when Terry had finally noticed; the expression on that one got a snicker from Barbara. He printed out several copies of the pictures that best displayed Terry's current appearance: one catloaf, one statue pose, and one of Terry reaching up to type something on a keyboard. Barbara looked at that one for a minute, knowing perfectly well that as soon as she had some spare time, she was sending Jason some new lolcats.

"Don't even think of adding captions to these."

"I won't." The copies I scan, on the other hand...

The look Bruce shot her told her he wasn't fooled, but he didn't say anything further about her impending childishness. Unless things went horribly wrong- which was always a possibility in Gotham—she could afford to have a bit of fun at Terry's expense.

"And don't send copies to Tim; Terry specifically asked about that."

"I can understand that, but if he finds out anyway, I make no promises."

"Fair enough. Wait—is that a car?" Bruce looked toward the driveway, one eyebrow raised. It was far too late in the evening for Tim to be visiting, and Barbara couldn't imagine who else would be—

Oh. Fuck. Please, God, do NOT let it be HIM. Not now!

"Barbara, is there something you'd like to tell me?"

It was surprising how intimidating Bruce could be even in a smaller body.

"I'm really, really hoping there isn't," she answered honestly, then cringed as the front door opened and steps came down the hall. It wasn't Tim, not as light as those steps were. Clark didn't bother with a car these days. She was already here. Terry wasn't going to be driving for a while. That left one possibility, and his timing could only have been worse if he'd shown up the night the Joker attacked.

"Okay, McGinnis, you were right, at this point I am just being a jerk. Not that I'm ever admitting that to His Grumpiness, of course. Oh, hey, Babs, great timing—you'll get to watch the fireworks."

"Oh, you have no idea," she muttered, echoing Bruce's earlier statement.

"Hey, Grayson," Bruce said, nearly giving Barbara a heart attack. "Finally decided to drop by, did you? Your own timing's pretty schway."

Bruce, I am going to kill you for this.

"So, the Old Man down communing with the bats? He's gotta know by now that I'm here, so if you want to make your escape so he doesn't find out you've been sneaking around, messing in his personal life behind his back."

"What makes you think he doesn't already know?" Bruce was grinning; Barbara could feel herself turning pale.

"You're still alive, aren't you?"

Not for much longer…

"How much you wanna bet he found out and is just giving us enough rope?"

Bruce, you bastard...

"Nah, he's only that subtle with the bad guys. Look, kid, I'll admit you seem to have gotten to know him pretty well already, but this is something that takes long personal experience to figure out. You just haven't known him long enough to have watched the pattern repeat itself over and over." Dick's old cocky grin hadn't changed, even if Dick himself was a bit heavier and considerably greyer. "So here's the deal—Bruce is a ham-handed idiot when it comes to interpersonal relationships beyond the most casual social setting. He looks at everything like a case and doesn't understand why people get pissed at him for trying to solve things that aren't supposed to be. He honestly doesn't get that some things don't need to be investigated. Makes him a great businessman, an amazing detective, and an honest-to-god, tear-out-your-hair infuriating friend."

Oh, for an emergency call right now…

"Oh, is that what happened?"

Cheap shot, Bruce.

Dick ran his hand over his receding hairline, but didn't seem offended.

"Hey, it happens to the best of us. But seriously, kid, he'll have investigated every single aspect of your life by now and probably come up with a dozen ways to take you down if he has to. It's not that he doesn't trust you, it's just how he is. You can avoid a lot of our old mistakes just knowing that and knowing when to call him on it and when to shrug it off. Piece of advice—let him investigate your dates. I learned that the hard way."

Barbara smirked despite her overwhelming urge to hyperventilate.

"Yes, I know," Bruce said, suddenly dropping the masquerade.

"You what?" Dick was thrown by the sudden shift, and Barbara decided that she was just going to stay out of this.

"Maybe next time you'll listen if I tell you a woman is a man-eater. It just might be literal. AGAIN."

"Bruce?" Dick squeaked, a horrified expression galloping across his face. Barbara could see him mentally reviewing everything he had said since walking through the door.

"As you may have noticed, there have been a few changes around here," Bruce said. "While we do need to talk, my first priority is making sure that these changes do NOT stick. If you want to help, I'll be in the cave. You and Barbara can join me if she ever decides to start breathing again."

Bruce slipped through the clock and was gone. Barbara suddenly realized that she had actually been holding her breath and let it out in a huge gasp. Dick gave her a look very similar to the one Ace had given Bruce earlier.

"Wha—how—but—Seriously, Babs, what the fuck?"

Barbara dope-slapped him.

"Sit down, Dick. You'll need it when I tell you about tonight and your body won't have too far to fall after I kill you for putting me on the spot like this!"

Of course it's getting more confused! What, you didn't think I was going to make this easy on them, did you?