The Uncanny Kid Razor

Hey there, fans! L1701E here! I'm doing this fic with some help from the Uncanny R-Man, and it's set in his version of the Marvel Universe. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: All non-Marvel characters are mine.

Chapter 1: Just Another Day In Cleveland

Cleveland, Ohio

Cleveland, Ohio. It wasn't the most well known major city in the United States of America, but it was rapidly becoming a well-known city because, like New York, the city of Cleveland, home of the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame, had its own superhero. A superhero known as Kid "Rock 'n' Roll" Razor. Kid Razor happened to be sitting on top of a skyscraper. The teenage superhero looked a little like a pro wrestler merged with a glam rocker.

His mane of long blond hair blew in the slight breeze. His face was covered by Ultimate Warrior-esque face paint, red with streaks of black-and-white. He was clad in an old Iron Maiden t-shirt, with a sleeveless red leather jacket over it. The jacket had patches of black-and-white zebra print on the shoulders, and on the back was his insignia, a winged razor blade. The shirt was tucked into a pair of red wrestling-style tights kind of like the pro wrestler Shawn Michaels, only Razor's tights had black-and-white razor blades on them. He also had on white wrestling-style boots with red-and-black fringe. His hands were covered by red wristcuffs with a black-and-white razor blade on each one. On his back, was a red Gretsch guitar with a black-and-white zebra print fretboard and chrome pickups. The guitar channeled a mystical energy known as the Power of Rock, and it was the source of Kid Razor's amazing rock 'n' roll-based powers. He looked down at the streets of Cleveland and smiled.

"Ahhh, the Kid of Rock loves his people." Kid Razor took his guitar, put it in a playing position, then plucked the strings. His body got covered by a forcefield of rainbow energy, and then he dived off the building like it was a springboard. Being unable to feel fear, Razor pretty much did what he wanted. The super-powered guitar player saw the ground come up closer and closer to his face. Normally, this would scare the pants off any normal person, but Razor only had a smirk on his face. Just when he was about to hit the ground, he pulled up and streaked into the sky, whooping and laughing the whole way.

"You are a nut, you know that, Bobby?" A disembodied voice said to Razor. Razor sighed. Kid Razor's real name was Robert Parkins. He was just an ordinary teenager until one day. One day, he felt strangely drawn to a pawn shop, where he found himself buying a strange guitar that looked like the guitar of a glam rocker he idolized. Once he put it on and tried to play it, he was transformed into Kid Razor, the living embodiment of Rock 'n' Roll.

"Oh relax, Ronnie." Razor laughed. "I would've survived it." A translucent man appeared next to Razor, floating alongside him, a blue aura around his body. He appeared to be in his early thirties. His hair was a blond mullet, and his green eyes were decorated by sea green and blue eyeliner. He was clad in a silver bodysuit with sea green and blue lightning bolts on his shoulders. The man was named Ronnie Rocker. In the 70s and 80s, he ruled the arenas and the rock scene, but he died in a car accident in England over ten years ago. An amulet he wore around his neck at the time trapped his soul in his guitar when it merged with the instrument. Through unknown means, the guitar made its way to Cleveland, Ohio, and into the hands of Kid Razor.

"Yeah, yeah." Ronnie rolled his eyes. "So, anything going down in the streets of Cleveland?"

"Not really." Razor shook his head. "The Kid of Rock's super hearing hasn't picked up anything. It's quieter than a theater when Gigli premiered."

"Oh brother." Ronnie rolled his eyes. "So, how's Joan?" Ronnie was talking about Joan Frehley, an amateur reporter who dated Razor as his civilian alter ego. Razor shrugged.

"She's doing fine. You know what, I just realized something." Razor blinked.

"What?"

"You remember Selene?" Razor asked.

"That psycho witch?! If it weren't for her, I'd still be alive!" Ronnie growled.

"Well, she's just plain disappeared. We haven't heard hide nor hair of the old hag." Razor said. (1)

(1) In the URM-verse, Selene lost most of her powers and is now dating the Thing.

"I'm flamin' glad. I guess she finally took the hint and gave up trying to get your guitar." Ronnie chuckled.

"Yeah." Razor chuckled. His superhuman hearing picked up a cry for help. "Come on, Ron! There's a show to play!"

"Far out." Ronnie grinned. "I'll watch over you if you need anything."

Downtown Cleveland

"Man, this is great!" The Shocker grinned as he walked out of the bank, with a completely demolished front. "Man, coming to Cleveland was worth it! That idiot Spider-Man can't stop me now."

"No, but maybe you'd like to fight someone who could kick Spidey's butt." A voice said. The Shocker turned around and he saw Kid Razor hovering above the ground, arms crossed, and amused look on his face. Ronnie was floating next to Razor, but only Razor could see him. "You might want to put that money back." Razor said as he landed on the ground and his forcefield disappeared. "And who are you supposed to be, Quilt-Man?"

"I'm the Shocker, and you're dead." Shocker said nonchalantly as he fired his sonic vibration blasters at the Kid of Rock 'n' Roll. Razor quickly thrust his guitar in front of him. The blast hit the mystical instrument, sending the rockstar flying into the wall.

"Ugh…" Razor groaned, shaking his head and getting to his feet. "Man, I'm sore. The Kid of Rock says he's going to feel that tomorrow." One of Razor's powers was a unique power called 'physical invulnerability'. It basically meant Kid Razor could not be hurt by punches, kicks, physical blows, pressure, or being thrown into walls, even though he still felt the pain and still could be knocked out. His forcefields protected him from blades, beams, and projectile weapons.

"Oh God, can't I get a break?!" Shocker groaned. Kid Razor smirked.

"Not really, Quilt-Man." Razor grinned. He fired an energy beam from his guitar's head at the Shocker, knocking him into the bank vault's door.

"I hate this city." Shocker growled as he got to his feet.

"Awwwww whadda madda, wittle Quilt-Boy angwy?" Razor mocked.

"YOU BET, YOU BIGMOUTH!!!" Shocker roared, firing his vibro-blasters. Razor's superhuman agility, flexibility, and reaction time allowed him to easily dodge the energy blasts before they even reached him.

"You suck!" Kid Razor laughed as he backflipped onto a counter and leapt off in one fluid move, knocking Shocker back with a flying clothesline, landing into a somersault.

"Gonna fry yah!"

"Can't you do better than that?" Razor asked in a bored cocky tone as he leapt and flipped out of the way of Shocker's vibro-blasts. "I'd better end this before it becomes any more embarrassing." Razor plucked his guitar, then leapt over an energy blast, landing right in front of the Shocker's face.

"Wha-?"

"GLAM FLASH!!!" Razor's face paint created a huge flash of light, blinding the villain.

"AGH! HELP ME! I CAN'T SEE!" The Shocker screamed, covering his face. "OH GOD!!!!" Razor charged up his fist with the Power of Rock, causing it to glow with rainbow light.

"Heavy…" Razor cocked back his fist. "Metal…" He threw his punch. "PUNCH!!" Razor's fist collided with Shocker's jaw, and the super-charged punch exploded, sending the Shocker flying into a police car that had pulled up, knocking him silly.

"But mommy, I don't want to ride the magic teacups…" Shocker mumbled. Razor walked out and made a 'smoking gun' motion.

"Man, I love being the Kid of Rock." He took to the air and flew off. Soon after, he was joined by Ronnie.

"Hey Bobby, don't you have to meet Spencer in Cincinnati?" Ronnie reminded. Spencer was Spencer Burton, a teenage genius from Cincinnati, Ohio. A friend of Razor's, Spencer built a blue suit of armor that gave him superhuman speed, and the ability to fire sonic blasts, and he became Cincinnati's Iron Speedster, Sonic Blue.

"Yeah." Razor nodded. "C'mon! Let's go."

Next: Kid Razor pays a visit to Sonic Blue, as Sonic Blue prepares to visit a 'friend' for Christmas.