J.K. Rowling owns the characters.
I'm Not J.K. Rowling.
Albus Dumbledore sat as his desk that summer with an odd little smile under his beard and a twinkle in his eye. Long since Mr. Potter had demolished several magical items, Albus found enough time on his hands to tweak the Minister of Magic for, what he believed to be, the incompetent handling of this last year.
'Hmm any minute now.' Dumbledore thought quietly to himself. Sure enough Albus heard the shouts heading up the stairs behind the gargoyle.
"Dumbledore what were you thinking? Are you trying to make a mockery of my position?"
"Come in Minister Fudge come in." Dumbledore said, doing his best to hide his smile.
A purple faced minister stepped into the office with a look of pure loathing and fury. "Dumbledore how could you give this kind of interview after the Ministry acknowledged that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had returned."
"Why Minister Fudge I was under the impression that when asked for an interview I would be able to give one." Dumbledore said with a quiet smile.
"But, but Dumbledore. This is nonsense. You're treating this like a joke."
Dumbledore shook his head slowly. "No Minister, I'm not treating the situation with Voldemort as a joke I can assure you." Dumbledore laughed to himself and led Fudge out of his office. "I'm treating your administration as a joke." With the look of shock on Fudge's face, Dumbledore shut the door in his mottled colored face.
Dumbledore laughed out loud at his desk, the first time in nearly 2 years. He cut out the article Minister Fudge was so upset about and owled it to Harry.
'If I could use a laugh I know that poor boy could use one.'
Harry was lying on his bed when the tap of an owl go this attention. He opened the window and allowed the school owl into his room with a frown. 'Too early for O.W.L. results.'
He took the parchment from the owl. The owl hooted a greeting to Hedwig before flying off again. Harry opened the folded message and after reading slowly a smile crept over his sorrowful face.
Professor Dumbledore of Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Offers his opinion of Ministry safety features for surviving a Death Eater Attack
1. Laugh at their masks. Death Eater's are very self conscious and may be embarrassed enough to leave.
2. Always refer to Voldemort as Tom. If you don't feel you are that familiar with him Mr. Riddle will do. No sense in losing good manners.
3. Shut your door on them after telling them you're not interested in whatever they are selling.
4. Poke them in the eye with your wand. That annoys them and they will think your not taking them seriously.
5. If they seem to be fairly well mannered offer them tea. A good host should always see to their guests comfort.
6. Mutter to yourself what would Harry Potter do. If you can think of something do it. I mean it works for him right.
7. Play twenty questions about who is under the mask. Try to ask if they are a vegetable first.
8. Open your address book and ask for their birth dates. They may enjoy getting an owl from you on their special day.
9. Tell them your glad they are their and if they could do something about the Gnomes in the garden.
10. If they don't seem to be amused by any of the above you could always try to, well you know defend yourself or disapparate away from the scene.