Disclaimer: I own nothing. I swear! Don't take my spleen!

Yay! A Christmas fic! I was banned for a while, sp I apologize for the lateness. They deleted the TTTSH! (sobs)

Enjoy!

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It was one of those lovely times that come only a few times a year. Everything was somehow delicately balanced and at peace. It was Christmas Eve. The sun had already gone down, the moon was glittering on the snow, and the bay was rippling peacefully in the breeze. Four of the Teen Titans were already off in their rooms, turned in for the night (visions of sugarplums danced in their heads. Hee). Everything was in a state of serenity. Everything, that is, but a small green boy sitting alone at the kitchen table with his chin in his hands, staring pensively off into space.

Beast Boy was completely and totally undoubtedly nervous. There were many negative outcomes to the situation running through his head as he sat there, each worse than the last.

What if she hates it? he asked himself. At this possibility, he started sweating.

The other gifts had been easy. He had been confident in the fact that he knew his friends well enough to succeed in getting them gifts they would love.

But this was different. Well, when it involved her, it was always different. He knew very little about Raven, and what little he knew about her pointed to the fact that she disliked him immensely. This was a problem, because the person he wanted to please the most this Christmas was Raven. The only thing he could really think of to make her happy was to shut himself in his room and never come out again, but that really wasn't an option. He was distinctly worried that she would loathe the gift he had gotten for her. That perhaps she would just laugh in his face. That was something he wouldn't be able to handle. He couldn't really imagine her being that cruel, though. And laughing in his face? He couldn't even imagine her laughing at anything involving him in the first place.

Just face it Beast Boy, she's never going to like you. Why don't you just give it up already? You've been trying to get her to notice you ever since you first met her. It hasn't worked so far, so what makes you think a stupid Christmas present is going to change that? It's not even a real present anyway. It's just a stupid token of affection. You should throw the dumb thing away and forget about it, said the little voice in the back of his mind.

Beast Boy dropped the gift halfheartedly onto the table and stood up and walked out of the kitchen, heading toward his room. As he passed Raven's room, he noticed that the door was closed. He sighed. She'd be irritated if I interrupted her meditation, anyway. I'll just forget about the whole thing. It was a stupid idea. Just like the gift exchange. That was a stupid idea, forcing her to get involved. It's obvious that she didn't really want anyone to get her anything. Why am I so stupid?

He gave a sigh and walked on, wondering, as he neared his room, what did she think of? What did she sit in there contemplating? Did she just sit there with a blank mind? Did she have as much on her mind as he did at the moment? And why did it matter so much?

The truth was, Beast Boy really wanted to know these things, for some reason. He wanted to march right in there and ask her what she was thinking of. If she was thinking of him, though the idea was ludicrous. He just longed to be there with her and watch her silently meditating, sleeping, reading, yelling at him to go away, anything. Just to be near her was enough. Do I love her? he asked himself as he pushed open the door of his room and walked in, kicking piles of things aside and plopping down on his bed. Of course I do. Why do I even bother to wonder? And why do I even bother to dwell on it? She could never love someone like me. Never. I drive her nuts half the time and the rest of the time she ignores me. He lay back on his bed and stared at the ceiling.

XXX

Raven sat on her bed, trying to concentrate on the book she was reading. The words kept blurring together. She had tried meditating before but had given up, finding it too hard to focus. She sighed.

What is wrong with me? she asked herself. Tonight, she hadn't been feeling totally normal. For some reason, she seemed to feel strangely warm inside. Curse this holiday she thought. She gave up on her book and closed it delicately, setting it down. She crossed her legs and sat there reflecting. She thought of the earlier events. It had been strangely enjoyable. The exchanging of gifts, the usual annoyances (which somehow seemed almost amusing today), and she had to admit she had enjoyed the eggnog. But there had been something different. Beast Boy had been strangely subdued. There was something not entirely normal about the way he had been behaving. He seemed troubled and it felt just downright unnatural to have the absence of his bad jokes lingering over everything like a cloud. She had never imagined that she would miss it. It was like he had been back when Terra had first betrayed them, only not to such a severe degree that he was wholly depressed and cheerless. He had managed to smile most of the time.

Raven wondered what was troubling him, and found herself, like she did on more and more occasions lately, wondering what he was doing at the moment, wondering if he was asleep or awake, wondering what he was thinking or what he was dreaming. And then she found herself wondering just what was the matter with her. She stood up slowly with a slight stretch that popped her spine in several places and made her flinch. Maybe tea would help her to calm down and perhaps she could even get in a few chapters before going to sleep. She walked toward the door.

XXX

Beast Boy sighed. It had been several hours since he had gone to his room, and he had given up on the thought of sleep. Raven haunted his every thought. He stared at his gift for her sitting on the table before him. He picked it up slowly and looked at it closely. There was the possibility that she might not hate it. That she might even like it. Maybe he would give it to her after all.

The sound of approaching footsteps caused him to conceal the thing he was holding under the edge of the table. He looked up just in time to see Raven enter the kitchen. She glanced at him briefly as she entered. He managed to crack a very exaggerated grin at her, and she suppressed a small smile at how ridiculous he looked.

"Hey, Raven," he offered as she walked over to the counter.

"Hello, Beast Boy," she replied quietly, and then busied herself with her teapot.

Beast Boy glanced back down at the object in his hands for a moment.

"Um….so, what are you doing up so late?" he said.

"Tea. And you?" Raven asked. Beast Boy shrugged.

"Just thinking. Couldn't sleep," he explained. Raven gave a swift nod.

Beast Boy stood up, placing the gift on his seat, and walked to the fridge, shoving aside the innumerable cartons of eggnog and seizing the carton of Soynog (that stuff is really good). He poured himself a glass and returned to his seat, taking the gift up again in one hand and drinking his Soynog musingly with his other. He stared into the glass for a long moment, as though it would hold the answer to his problems. He saw only the Soynog.

He looked up at Raven and made his decision quickly before he could change his mind. Leaving his glass on the table, he walked over and came up beside her, rocking on the balls of his feet nervously as she turned and looked at him, her face blank.

"Uh, hey Rae?" he asked.

"Yes?" Raven asked with an oddly patient tone in her voice.

"I….uh….I got you something… for Christmas," he said, whipping the gift boldly out from behind his back where he had been concealing it and holding it out to her.

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I'll do the next chapter soon.