Ranma 1/2 doesn't belong to me.
Ranma's mind...
I always knew that love can be deceiving... but this time I thought that it'd actually work... since it was the first time I really felt attracted to someone for something beyond the good looks...
The girl I tottaly fell for is Akane Tendou: a sixteen year old martial artist with a serious cooking problem.
It all began when my father dragged me to the Tendou's. He said something about a marriage... and his friend's daughters... a dojo, and me inheriting the "Saotome school of Anything-Goes Martial Arts".
I was absolutely focused on getting rid of my curse, of my feminine side.. or however you like to call it, so getting married and taking care of a dojo wasn't exactly on my plans at that precise moment...
When we finally arrived, after struggling with my huge panda-dad, we entered the Tendou's house, and my eyes caught up with this beauty... a blue-black haired girl with enormous brownish eyes, small but athletic, with a strong presence, and a lovely smile. The girl who made me feel comfortable (while being in my girl form) and miserable (as a guy) in the same day.
We started to know each other, and to share some stuff. Yeah, I know... we fight all the time, and discuss over stupidities, but I think a bond began to form between us... a bond of love and respect. Admiration maybe? Maybe devotion... at least from my part... And gosh it is intense! I can't help thinking of her every night, before sleeping... can't take her off my mind... well, except when I'm fighting someone and risking my life... hmmm... come to think about it... I do think of her while fighting... I think of living to see her, one more time. To save her, to protect her... although she has no idea, and she thinks I fight for fun, or for arrogance... She knows I can't stand being defeated, and it's true, I just can't... but she doesn't think that one of the reasons is her... I would hate her to see me defeated.. I'm supposed to be strong enough to take care of her, of our future family... of her family's dojo... damn... huge responsibility awaiting huh... yeah... I HAVE to be the best.
Well, the complicated part of our relationship... is that... hmm.. I'm afraid. We both are. Scared of saying how we feel... coming out... telling each other "I love you", "I'd die for you"... 'cause I swear I could... no doubt about it.
But then, when moments turn sweet, romantic, or however they turn... I get scared and stupid and I say things I don't mean. I insult her... I sometimes make her cry, and I feel terrible... terribly awful. I tried to apologize a few times, but it hardly ever worked.
She's very violent, I assure you!! I mean, I don't know how, but a mallet always appears in her hands when she gets mad. Usually mad at me by the way...
It's funny sometimes... but I always think afterwords... and analyze (I know I'm not the brightest guy, but I can think every once in a while, don't laugh) and I can't find an explanation for my behaviour. I just do as my brain tells... never as my heart tells...
If I ever follow my heart, I know I'd take her in my arms, kiss her, and never let her go... but there's something keeping me from doing that... pride maybe? I know it's fright... fright of being rejected. What if she doesn't want me to kiss her? what if she wants me to let her go? Sometimes she acts as if she loved me, but five minutes later she's talking about how stupid I am, what a burden I am for her family... and aggressive things like that. So I get angry, insult her, and fly away because of the punch she gives me.
Today I'm thinking of telling her... I'm tired of hiding stuff... pop told me once (you won't believe it, but yeah, sometimes he says smart things) that storing stuff inside can be harmful. Feelings are meant to fly, not being kept. So I made a decision... I'm telling Akane I love her.
I just hope I don't get shot down...
But then... what if I do?...
I won't be able to look at her in the eyes again...
We won't be as close as we are anymore... damn!!
oh jeez.... I guess I'll just tell her some other time....
Akane's mind...
He's everything to me... this guy... Ranma Saotome.
When I first saw him, I thought he was kinda cute... but he was in my bathroom NAKED... and what is worse... he saw ME naked... what a perv... he's a hell of a pervert. Besides, I hate the idea of an arranged marriage... I dislike anyone involved in that...
And he's mean... he's always calling me names... making fun of me... insulting me... spitting out my cookies... or anything I cook...
I know I suck at it... but I try my best... it makes me so sad when he turns down my food... he turns down my food just like he turns me down.
But still... he's got something underneath that arrogance.. something really sweet and caring... I wonder if that's truly him.. maybe he covers it up 'cause he's a martial artist... and his enemies aren't supposed to know he's as human and vulnerable as anybody else...
The thing is... I'm not his only fiancée... I've gotta share him with two other girls... Ukyou and Shampoo... both prettier and stronger than me... and whenever I see them touching Ranma.. I feel as if my heart died... and of course, I feel extremely angry. I've gotten into fights because of that...
I also have some guys chasing me... there's upperclassman Kuno (whom I just can't stand) that has been beaten up by Ranma on countless occasions; and there's Ryouga, a wonderful sweet tender amazing guy who I see as a friend. when I see him of course... 'cause he's usually lost...
But I keep them away... Ranma doesn't do that. He keeps flirting with his fiancées... and that hurts me. If he really wanted me, he would have told them I was his fiancée. But he never did. So he doesn't want me. I don't matter to him.
There are things about Ranma that confuse me. He can be an insensitive jerk, a stupid fag who keeps remarking my flaws, who keeps reminding me how ugly I am.... but then he always tries to cheer me up.. he sometimes tells me nice things... like that time he told me I was cute when I smiled... gosh.. I started to smile at myself on the mirror... so imagine how much I care about what he says...
And he's always protecting me... sometimes he gets in my way and hits whoever I'm fighting (that makes me angry, 'cause I can take care of myself) but even though he doesn't show... he does care about me at some level...
I love him... as easy and straightforward as that... I just love him. I respect him, I admire him... I've never seen anyone better than him... I just don't know what to do.
We don't get along at all sometimes, but we've had our moments... I know he likes me, I know he cares about me...
Maybe I'm wrong... but then, what if I'm right? what if he loves me but he just can't find the words to tell me?
I'm scared... I'm scared of telling him... he might make fun of me... he'd never leave me alone... he'd never drop it...
Maybe he'd walk away... start ignoring me...
He can't bare to see me.. I'm too ugly for him... maybe I should leave him alone... accept we're just friends...
He'd never love me anyway...