God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
Writer's Note: Co written with the author Jedi-and. Some of this Christmas tale was inspired/derived from Spectacular Spider Man No 21. Got a problem with that? Well :p.
Twas two nights before Christmas, and all through Jump City…
Quite a few things were stirring…perhaps more the pity…
The only thing that would have made the whole hokey spectacle complete would have been a soft golden glow around the wall where the games were perched.
There wasn't, but the way the crowd was stampeding towards it, there might as well have been.
"Careful! Be careful! Hey, I'm not kidding here!" Cyborg bellowed from where he was: having built in speakers really helped, but it didn't slow the crowd down much as they surged into the small space. Hands began grabbing games off the wall, mostly going for the one which we theorized was just lacking a glow. Some of the luckier parents, and these were all parents, were able to go to the side of the crowd and procure other games, but as was the way of the season, most of the children these parents had wanted this game, and this was the last shipment. So they all wanted it, and in situations like these, you had to be very careful or the spirit of the season will quickly be lost in the hostility of the human animal.
Fortunately, that was why the Titans were there. Well, not really: being superheroes doesn't really give you much time for Christmas shopping, so as a result all the Titans were doing it at this time. That's why they were there, but upon seeing the huge crowd gathered outside the mall's toy store, Robin quickly realized that trouble could result. He had recruited Cyborg and Terra to help keep the crowd under control, and despite Cyborg's apparent failure, a girl floating on the rock and a huge metal man were actually quite effective in keeping some order in the chaos, as Robin watched over it all. The rest of the Titans had dispersed to do the shopping…well, except one.
There were few copies of the must have game left, high on the self, and hence only the very tall could reach them…they, or a flying green eagle, who swooped in and grabbed one of the final boxes with his claws, doing a quick U-Turn and flying over the crowd.
"I got it! I got it!" Beast Boy crowed (er, eagled?).
Then Beast Boy became the victim of two factors: the fact that eagle claws were not designed to hold thin game boxes, and the fact that someone in the crowd could jump extremely well, as he felt a yank and suddenly his claws were empty.
"I don't got it?" Beast Boy said, confused, and did another quick turn, scabbing the crowd, trying to spot the thief, but whoever it was had quickly vanished into the mass of humanity. Frustrated and annoyed, Beast Boy swung around and did another overhead pass, trying to spot any game boxes that has claw marks…
And paying so much attention to that task he didn't notice the display until it was too late, as with a yelp he flew face first into the large cardboard cut out of Toxin, the main character of the game Beast Boy and this huge crowd was after, a little marvel called Supreme Destructor.
"Beast Boy! You ok?" Terra asked as she flew down, hopping off her rock.
"Owwwww…I had it! Now I don't!" Beast Boy said, disappointed. The crowd's rowdiness was quieting down, as all the other parents who had failed to get a copy of SD were sadly leaving, the other ones lining up to make their purchases, Robin and Cyborg keeping a close eye on things to ensure no one got jumped or mugged. "That's Cyborg's gift! Some one stole it!"
"Well Beast Boy, take this into account: Cyborg could have easily gotten a copy himself, not to mention he's old enough to understand if a wanted gift doesn't come on Christmas its nothing personal, unlike a lot of children, who see it as a failure of their parents. Relax. Even if you can't get it, he'll live."
"Still…it's a gift for a good friend!" Beast Boy grumped.
"You really want to play it too, don't you?"
"Damn straight!"
"Ugh, what a mess…" Robin was saying to himself. While none of the Titans had come to the mall in full costume, they were easy enough to recognize and hence they often got roped into these things. Well, at least they had enough members now so they could do this and shop at the same time.
He hoped the shopping part wasn't as much of a hassle as this was.
"I a-a-am sor-r-r-r-y-y Miss, we ju-ju-ju-ju…" The female clerk said, looking terrified at Sophie Matthews, or more specifically, the hulking alien behind her who happened to be her boyfriend, the Blacktrinian Scalpel. "I-I-I-I mean…"
"You can relax my dear, we aren't going to maul you if you don't have it." Scalpel said. The fact that the freaky looking thing spoke made the clerk jump, but it also seemed to loosen her up a bit.
"All Darling Donna dolls were sold out three weeks ago. They're so in demand the stores had to enter draws to get new shipments…and we didn't win any. We just don't…have any."
Scalpel sighed.
"Well we can't get any blood from a stone Sophie, let's go pick up all the other things we can. If we can." Scalpel said, and walked off, Sophie next to him.
"That's the seventh store in two days. This is looking more and more hopeless…yet I don't want to disappoint Starfire…" Sophie said.
"I do not really understand this Christmas holiday." Scalpel said. "I have grasped the friendship and warmth part that you humans speak of, though I find it a tad disconcerting that some people would rather pay lip service to it then actually follow it. I can even understand how financial minds would be able to see profits in such a annual event and the lengths they can go to to ensure the average human being sees it as well…but what I do not understand is if every year there is some special toy that everyone wants why people do not plan in advance how to get this toy. It seems common sense that if this Darling Donna doll is what every girl wants, then parents should have been buying it back in September!"
"Yeah, I know. I never could figure it out myself…but then again, my family never had to go to stores to get what they wanted."
"Hmmmmm, yes. I can see that."
"Are you sure you want to go through with it Scalpel? The feeling…"
"Is most likely not mutual, I know. But the fact is that we are together Sophie. My culture, like yours, knows that this kind of event can bring families together…so I do not see why we should not at least try."
"Well…yes…but Nigel, I don't think you really know what you're getting into!"
"Most likely not, but what is that saying…ah, I shall make London Bridge fall down when I come to it!" Scalpel declared.
"Uh….right Nigel. That's it exactly."
"Odd, after saying it I could have sworn I mashed two analogies together."
It was a good thing Scalpel was carrying all the bags: Sophie would have crushed a few when she facevaulted.
"Ho ho ho! And have a merry Christmas!" Santa Claus said as he saw off his latest child. The man behind the outfit, a security guard named Raymond Sharn, secretly wondered why so many parents brought their kids to Santa when seeing the man, or at least a representation of him, sent them into hysterics. Sharn had been doing this for six years, and he could swear at least a third of them burst into tears when they saw him. Strange considering most of them would stay up trying to catch a glimpse of Santa. Well, at least no one had peed on his lap yet this year. Sharn liked kids, had one himself, but doing the constant jolly act that was Santa could be a tad bit draining, and Sharn had never been all too good at smiling through clenched teeth, and nothing could force that necessity on him faster then urine…
He was looking down to see his next charge, and only found himself looking at a pair of legs. Very shapely legs. Sharn smirked a bit: sometimes teenage girls came along to sit on his lap, either for a joke or nostalgia or because they were drunk, and while Sharn loved his wife he was still a man and nothing was quite like having a comely teen sit on your knee…
Until he finished looking up and found this lass, while very comely, also had orange skin and green eyes. He started a bit, and then realized it was the alien that was part of the superhero team the Teen Titans. He'd heard from his fellows (he shared the Santa job with two or three others) that she showed up at times, but never when he'd been around. He quickly recovered from his surprise though, and went back into Santa mode.
"Ho ho ho! My, aren't you a big girl!" Sharn Claus said. "Aren't you a little old to sit on Santa's lap?"
"I believe it is not chronological necessities that are required here, but personal ones." Starfire said, as she stepped up to Santa, carefully positioning herself so no kids could see Sharn's face, and reached out and grabbed his beard, quickly jerking it down to reveal Sharn's clean shaven face. Sharn started, and would have yelled (as quietly as possible, though) at the alien, except her eyes filled with a certain disappointment that struck him speechless.
"You are not the true one either." Starfire said, sadly, quickly putting Sharn's beard back up. "A pity. Well sir, continue what you are doing, and do it well." Starfire said, and then to give Sharn another shock she floated off the ground and then actually flew away. It was a good thing the kids decided to ohhhh and ahhh at this: Sharn needed several seconds to compose himself.
As he did so and began being Santa again, Starfire slipped over a balcony and landed next to Gauntlet, whose yellow energy holding sack had been drawing some stares, but by now the residents of Jump City were fairly used to seeing the Titans out and about every now and then, and since the Titans were wearing street clothes it helped.
"No good?" Gauntlet asked.
"No. I have tried to find Santa every year in the several I have been on your planet, but he remains elusive." Starfire said. Gauntlet wasn't sure what to do: on one hand he wasn't going to break Starfire's illusion with the truth, but at the same time he wasn't sure if he should keep feeding Starfire's idea that Santa really existed: one of the things that was a big no no, even for him, was to screw up the still learning Starfire about the way things worked on Earth. It could have drastic consequences in a battle, and outside of one as well (indeed, the main reason Starfire had flown off into space when she was undergoing transformation was because she'd been barraged by tons of commercials that put forth the message that only beautiful people mattered, hence the Titans would stop liking her and the next thing you knew she was off). Gauntlet didn't like being stuck: most of the time he'd just quip and the times he didn't he was more competent then most people (ok, Noel) gave him credit for, so he made an excuse.
"Well Star, I still have half a list…"
"Oh yes! Good luck Rob! But do not worry, I know how in demand Darling Donna is, so do not knock yourself out. If you cannot succeed, I am sure Santa will!" Starfire said with a big grin.
Yep, Gauntlet though as he turned away and left, his own efforts to find a Darling Donna having proven unsuccessful as well, he sure hated it when he couldn't use a quip.
"Let me guess: you've been sold out of Darling Donna for weeks." Savior quietly asked the male clerk.
"…Yes sir."
"I figured. I don't suppose you have a copy of Supreme Destructor?"
"Sold the last one ten days ago sir."
"Right, of course." Savior said, and glanced over to Raven, who shrugged.
"Well all right then, we do have one last item: our action figures. Specifically, the Gauntlet one. Do you have any of those?" Savior asked.
"…um…sorry sir. But those are sold out as well."
"Right. Let me guess, you still have plenty of my figure left." Savior said sourly.
"No sir, yours are sold out as well."
"Yes I…huh?" Savior said, and Raven glanced at him, giving him an amused look as Savior's planned cynical comment was stopped dead. "Well uh…really? Huh."
"Well then, I guess we will have to procure the more reasonable items. Come Savior." Raven said, as she floated off the ground. Savior followed, and the clerk watched in some amazement as the white strands of energy carrying several loads of bags and parcels followed, the Shimmer strands protruding from Savior's back and carrying the bags above him like he was part tree.
"What else do we have left to get?" Savior asked, as he procured a new bag: The Titans rarely carried cash on them, so they had a direct line of credit in a good deal of stores in Jump City that they would pay back when they had the time, which was usually every week. Basically, this allowed the Titans to just pick items off the shelves and take them. In some places anyway.
"Just generic stuff and lesser gifts, the stuff that anyone can procure." Raven replied, as she grabbed a few dozen boxes of lights off one aisle with black energy and dumped them into four bags which joined the several Savior was already carrying. "As for the must haves…that is proving to be a thorny issue."
"Well we still have this and tomorrow, and we can get around the city a lot faster then most people." Savior replied. "Despite the snow. I still can't believe we got snow. We live in Florida for Pete's sake."
"Yes, but recall when Starfire visited that bad alternate future, there was snow here." Raven replied.
"Yes, but I implied that was due to atmospheric damage, rather then a freak weather pattern. I mean, this area is not known for snow." Savior said. Raven wished she had her hood: she was afraid her face would betray what she knew. And that was the reason there was snow was because Gauntlet, Beast Boy, and Terra, with Cyborg's help, had used the Weather Wizard's wand to make it snow. It was the kind of thing where what Savior didn't know would not hurt him. Once Christmas was past, they would fix the altered weather, and besides, they had been careful not to kill any crops or anything…not that anyone really grew anything near Jump City…
"Raven, you're about to float right into a display." Savior remarked. Raven came back to reality…and then flew into the display of Christmas lights.
Several minutes later, having untangled herself from the cords and procured the rest of their purchases, Savior and Raven walked along the mall. While wearing street clothes reduced Raven to an anonymous girl, mostly, Savior's hair, not to mention the Shimmer bag carriers, made him stick out like a sore thumb. It was true they could have worn holopins (which is actually what Savior was doing: wearing a holopin that changed his clothes, but the point of said pins was to COMPLETELY alter their appearance, not just one facet of it) to disguise themselves, but Savior wanted the Shimmer to carry bags. It didn't much matter: while a lot of people noticed, and some stared and pointed, Savior's reputation preceded him: the other Titans might be gregarious if you approached them but Savior would most likely gnaw your head off. Noel actually found that unfair: he could be nice…if you didn't approach him acting like a total idiot. Which is what a lot of people did.
Savior was suddenly aware Raven was humming, and he glanced over. Yes, she was humming, and she looked pretty contented as they walked along.
"Good King Wenceslas, if I'm not mistaken." Savior commented. Raven glanced over.
"Why, yes. Know the lyrics?"
"Yes."
"Want to sing along?"
"Not really." Savior said. Raven looked a tad bit crestfallen.
"Scrooge." She said.
"Not precisely my dear. After all, I'll gather you're humming because you're picking up all the cheer and good feelings of the season."
"One of the perks of being me!" Raven said in a very unRavenlike way, but as mentioned, she was picking up a lot of good vibes.
"Yes, but I have to wonder how much stress and frustration and general bad vibes you're having to screen out to get that effect." Savior went on. Raven looked crestfallen again: Savior had made a point. But that didn't bother her: what bothered her was the way her boyfriend was acting.
"Savior…what's wrong?"
"What's wrong? Nothing really. Crime's low, everyone's alive and ok, no nasty rumors brewing in the community. Everything's better then it was, say, two years ago." Savior said. Two years ago, on Christmas Eve, Jump City had been attacked by a group of four cyborgs calling themselves Dangerous By Design: the Titans had spent all day fighting them and then cleaning up their mess. In the end they had been so tired they had slept through a good chunk of Christmas, and on top of that their turkey had been pretty dry.
"I mean this. I've noticed it over the past few years, but you never really get into Christmas, even when there are no problems. Why?"
"You should know."
"Savior, I'm hardly Miss Sunshine. We didn't have this holiday in Azarath. But even I can appreciate the feeling around this time of year. Why can't you?"
Savior sighed.
"It's not made for my type."
"And what type is that?"
"Christmas has two poles, so to speak." Savior said, as they continued to walk on. "One is religious, the birth of the son of God, Star of Bethlehem, three wise men, gold frankincense and myrrh, all that. That brings me no comfort and or happiness, as I am not religious. Indeed, that always struck me as strange: considering that we live in a world where we have met actual gods, in terms of power commanded if not actual status, you would think it would be easier for someone like myself to accept the possibility that existence was created by a omnipotent and omniscient being whose image we are supposedly made in…but all theological musings aside, that's not my bag. So we have the other pole of Christmas: the supposed manifestation of all the qualities and factors that make us more then hairless apes with big brains. Peace on Earth, good will towards men, tidings of comfort and joy to all. Much like that carol you were humming: King Wenceslas went out into a frigid winter to aid a common peasant. Now, I am quite willing to accept the fact that people are not perfect, and that a lot of people would rather act at these qualities then embrace them, or just do a few superfluous motions. Better then nothing I suppose, and people are only human. However, much like the Bible has more then a few flaws and oddities in amongst its virtues, these days there is one gigantic, gaping flaw in the Christmas message of brotherhood, and sisterhood, among men…" Savior said, as he suddenly stopped and waved an arm out over the balcony. "THAT."
Raven didn't need to look, but she did: the mall was filled to bursting with masses of people, all of them carrying something, some people carrying more then they looked comfortable with, and all of them rushing, rushing, rushing: to get more, get somewhere, to get AWAY.
"Then again, why not? After all, the image of Santa Claus as a fat jolly elf came from a Coca Cola commercial. Why shouldn't people associate the good parts of humanity as material? Why shouldn't people see friendship and love and happiness as the most expensive, overhyped junk to exist for the space of a few short weeks or a month? Why shouldn't this holiday be about getting the item, and perhaps giving what you don't need or want any more to others less fortunate then you? I'm well aware that's just one side and not the absolute, but when you look at this…I just can't really muster the proper enthusiasm Raven. I don't have the faith, or maybe the insanity, to follow one pole, and I just can't see the other without seeing THIS. It's like trying to see the stars in Las Vegas. They're there, but they might as not well be. So it's not that I don't like Christmas Raven. But the way it is just isn't fit for me."
"Your father got you everything under the sun, didn't he?" Raven asked quietly.
Silence.
"And more." Savior said, sounded depressed. "It was great…until I was about seven and began understanding certain things about him. It was through him that I found out there was no Santa Claus, by the way: I had so much I decided to give some away, and I figured that since I'd only been fairly good and gotten all that stuff, that really good kids would have gotten even more. Yeah, that was my thoughts…until I saw some of the places my mother and I went to, how broken down they were, how worn out. The places and the people. I remember the kids took my toys but didn't want to play with me, and some of the looks the adults gave my mother, a faint but furious hatred. My mom had good intentions, you know that, but they didn't. I think most of them just saw condescending pity, because that was all they could see. I looked at how much these kids lacked, and how much I had…and it didn't take much for me to see the Santa Claus legend had serious flaws. Then again…I suppose it could have been worse." Savior said. "But even so…that wretched excess, and how people reacted when I tried to share…it just…I can't find it. Two poles and neither fit me. But don't worry Raven, I won't be going bah humbug. But if there is a spirit of this season, it's proving perilously elu…" Savior trailed off as he noticed something. A large clutch of people had gathered around a store's closed doors, an electronics store. And they looked be on the verge of trying to knock the door down. Savior's brow furrowed, and he looked at Raven, who had seen it too.
"Nuts. Guess I'd better handle this. No Savior, stay. I can do this myself." Raven said, not wanting to inconvenience her package-carrying boyfriend. She dropped over the edge and floated down, her long coat billowing around her much like her cloak. She quickly got the shoppers' attention, and they seemed to listen to her, much to the relief of the store staff, though Savior stayed nearby, keeping a close eye on the store as the doors opened and people began going through. Trying to get a copy of Supreme Destructor, he assumed…
"Um…excuse me?"
Savior looked to the voice, and found himself looking at a short young woman who seemed to be in the verge of her thirties. She had been pretty once, but life had clearly taken its toll on her, as her short blonde hair was a tad bit stringy and her face was starting to develop crow's feet.
"Yes?" Savior asked, careful to keep his tone neutral, not wanting to encourage or scare the woman.
"Are you Savior?"
Savior blinked. He understood the reason behind the question, but it still amazed him that unless his ilk were waving a huge sign bearing their names, some people wouldn't accept at face value that they were who they were. Savior felt an urge to make a biting sarcastic comment…and then decided not to.
"Yes. Can I help you? Is there trouble?"
"Um…um…"
"Yes?"
"My daughter would like to meet you."
Ah, a fan. Savior got those on occasion. Though more times then not it was some kind of dare by idiot teenagers encouraging one of their peers to go annoy the superhero who was known to have a very low tolerance for bullshit. But…it was Christmas, so Savior figured he'd give them a shot.
"But…if you're busy…" The woman was saying.
"Um…" Savior said, glancing over the balcony. Raven seemed to have things well in hand. "No, I'm fine. Where is she?"
"Well…I'll get her."
Savior arched an eyebrow as the woman hurried off. Get the girl? Maybe she was shy. Kids usually had no problem coming up to the Titans and doing the freak out they did so well (or kicking them in the shins, every now and then), so why…
The woman was coming back.
The wheelchair immediately answered all of Savior's questions. For a moment (though he hated doing it) he did an assessment to see if this was a set up for an attack, a prank, or something similar (and oh, if it was he was gonna be mad…).
The look on the young girl's face broke that paranoia. You couldn't fake that kind of amazed hero worship wonder. For a moment Savior felt uncomfortable: he didn't like people thinking he was more then he was, and then he quickly put on a friendly face and went to meet the girl. Despite the situation, Savior was too cautious by nature to let this warm the cockles of his so called icy heart…that might come later.
"Hey there." Savior said as he knelt down in front of the girl, a carbon copy of her mom minus the ravages of time and the exhaustion. And the vertical mobility of course: the girl was in a wheelchair after all, her legs tucked under a blanket. Savior wondered if that was to keep them warm or to hide the atrophied limbs, as arms and legs out of use tended to wither away into hideous looking sticks if they were disabled by spinal damage. Maybe both. But Savior wasn't paying attention to that, because the girl's happy smile drew his attention. "What's your name?"
"I'm Annie." The girl said. "Are you really Savior?"
"Last time I checked." Savior said, raising a palm and letting the Shimmer flow out. Not sure what else to do, he used it to form a puppy, or as close to a puppy he could manage…which wasn't bad. The girl laughed and actually petted it. Now was about the time the aforementioned cockles began their thawing.
"I love your hair. Is it real?" Annie asked.
"Oh yeah. My curse. Go ahead, take a feel." Savior said, offering his white, gravity defying spiked locks. Annie gave one a good tug: Savior winced but took it. He'd had far worse for far worse reasons.
"It is real!" Annie said, amazed. Savior wondered if he'd ever been like that child, taking joy in such simple things. If he had been, it was long lost to time, even before he'd become a metahuman. Now he'd seen too much. And maybe he was just weak: at least he could still walk, while this child couldn't do so, and she wasn't letting it get her down.
"Can I have hair like that?"
"Er…I suppose Annie. Anything's possible in this world."
"I know. That's why you're my favorite Titan. You always do such impossible things." Annie said.
"Really? Well…yes…but Robin doesn't have any powers at all, and he does things…"
"Yeah, but Robin's ugly." Annie said, and gave the pouting look of disapproval only a child could muster. Savior almost cracked up.
"But you do such cool things…and that's why I'm going to walk again. If you can get up from so much, then I can get up from a stupid car accident!" Annie said determinedly. Well, that answered one question, but before Savior could ask about anything else, Annie switched the subject in the way kids do. "Why aren't you in costume? What if you have to fight a bad guy?"
"Oh…I AM in costume…just…not…er…" Savior said, and figured what the hell, as he reached into a pocket. "This is called a holopin. I use it when I don't want the bad guys to recognize me, but all I have to do is turn it off…" Savior said, and his street clothes and thin jacket suddenly shimmered (heh) into his white and blue battle outfit. Annie looked like she'd just seen Santa Claus.
"Wow! Can I have one of those?"
"Er, no…sorry Annie. They're not toys anyway, too complicated for you to have fun with." Savior said, and it was the truth.
"Awwwwwwww. I wanted one of your action figures for Christmas, but they're all sold out." Annie said, and did that face again.
"Well now, that's not good." Savior said. "Hmmmm…hey, you know, I just realized my closet is stuffed to bursting. I have too many clothes! I wonder…well, it's a bit big for you, but I'm sure you'll grow into it." Savior said, as she shrugged off his jacket and draped it around Annie's shoulders. Correction: NOW Annie looked like she'd just seen Santa Claus.
"THANK YOU!" Annie said, as she came forward and grabbed Savior around the neck and shoulders in a hug. Savior, by instinct, tensed up, and then relaxed, returning the hug.
"Um…" Annie's mother was saying, and Savior looked up to see she had procured a camera. "Picture?"
"Certainly." Savior said, and slid around to Annie's side as her mother stepped in front of her. No sooner had Savior stopped then Annie threw her arms around his shoulders again, this time from the side. Savior, who rarely smiled beyond a satisfied smirk, found out that he could still do it as the bulb flashed a few times.
"Thank you." Annie's mother said as she walked back.
"Hey, no problem." Savior said: he noticed Annie was trying to put on the jacket he had given her and took advantage to pull her mother aside.
"What are her chances? Be honest." Savior said. Annie's mother, who had looked happy a second ago, suddenly fell into her exhausted look again.
"It's possible…but the doctors…aren't optimistic." She replied.
"Well…don't give up. Children can be surprisingly…resilient." Savior said lamely.
"I know…the hospital is trying to help…but they just don't have…enough funds…even with…donations…"
"Mom! Mom! Look at this!" Annie said, as she was holding up something she had found in Savior's jacket. Specifically, his communicator. "All the buttons!"
Annie opened it up and pressed a variety of said buttons.
"Self destruct sequence on tower initiated." The communicator said, and it was about then Savior managed to grab the device back.
"Abort! Abort!"
"Abort code issued, shutting down." The communicator said, and blinked off.
"Heh heh. Sorry Annie. Can't keep this. Not a toy either." Savior said sheepishly, putting the communicator into a pocket. He was about to say something else when a racket broke out on the floor beneath him.
Savior looked over the side: more people had joined the crowd Raven had been looking after. Apparently there had been a disagreement and the crowd was getting rowdy: Raven was trying to control it but she couldn't just start picking people up and flinging them away. Savior looked back at Annie, not really wanting to just leave like this, but as he did, she could see she was giving him a look of approval.
"Go get 'em!" She said, pumping a fist. Savior chuckled at that, and then he gave her a salute and dove backwards over the balcony.
"Isn't he amazing Mom?" Annie said.
"Yes…yes he is." Annie's mother replied.
Savior flipped and landed on his knees, and turns towards the angry but not quite yet brawling crowd.
"Hey! HEY!!!!!!!! CALM DOWN! RIGHT NOW!" Savior yelled. "I SAID…"
And then something shot from the crowd's feet, sliding to a stop in front of Savior.
"The game!" Went a yell, and a cluster of the crowd broke away and ran for Savior. Savior only looked at that for half a second before he leaned down and picked up said game. It was, of course, Supreme Destructor.
"Ok look…" Savior was saying as he stood up…and found himself face to face with a large man.
"THAT'S MINE!"
And then he actually belted Savior across the face.
Savior's head snapped back.
The crowd went dead silent.
Savior slowly turned his head back towards his assailant. The good cheer Annie had put into him had been just as quickly knocked out by the ugly side of the season, as he looked at his attacker with an expression that spoke more then words ever could.
A trickle of blood started running from Savior's nose.
"…….Oh man." Savior's aggressor said, finally realizing just what he had done in the heat of the moment. "Sorry man! I didn't…I just…oh geez, don't…!"
"Here." Savior said, and tossed the game to him. The man was so startled he almost dropped it. "It must really be worth it, if you were willing to attack me for it."
And Savior turned and left, walking off, the gifts dangling almost comically from his back…except there was nothing comical about it. Raven watched him go, and she could feel his pain, confusion, and general dissatisfaction that bordered on distaste. Noel might have said he wasn't Scrooge…but that might have changed.
But she couldn't leave: a new riot might erupt. She had to keep the peace.
And considering the season was supposed to be about peace, such things rather disenchanted her.
Savior walked through the crowds: they had enough presence of mind to get out of the way of the superhero with the many bags dangling from his back, as he retrieved his communicator from his pocket and contacted Robin.
"Robin."
"Savior here. I'm afraid I have to duck out Fearless, this place is driving me nuts. How's the shopping going?"
"Well, we haven't had much luck getting Supreme Destructor…"
Savior snorted disdainfully.
"What was that?"
"Nothing."
"Uh, ok. Well, we can't find that or a Darling Donna. We managed to find a few action figures, but so far that's just Cyborg, Terra, and Beast Boy, no Gauntlet ones. Besides that we've pretty much wrapped up…mostly…" Robin said, as he glanced over to where Scalpel and Gauntlet were. The four (including Sophie) were in the supermarket stocking up on food…or at least that had been the case until now.
"Turkey! It's your tradition!" Scalpel said, holding up the very large turkey he had.
"Ham! We need something different!" Gauntlet said, holding up a huge ham. Sophie, being the shy mouse she generally was, was staying out of this, merely watching, her eyes darting back and forth between the two.
"Please keep in mind I'm cooking this year, and I don't know if I can do both, so decide!" Robin yelled, covering the communicator.
"Sounds like a real conundrum. Well, I'm heading back to the tower Robin. See you later." Savior said, and before Robin could reply he signed off.
"Huh. He sounded ticked." Robin said, as he folded up and stuck the communicator into his pants. Then again, Noel was always serious and thoughtful, even around Christmas, so maybe…
"TURKEY!"
"HAM!"
"TURKEY!"
"HAM!"
Maybe that would be preferable, Robin thought, as he waited to see how the argument went and hoped the two didn't get into a physical fight over it.
"TURKEY!"
"HAM!"
"TURKEY!"
"HAM!"
"TURKEY"
"HAM!"
"TURKEY!"
"TURKEY!
"HAM!" Scalpel blurted.
"Ah, we finally agree." Gauntlet said, and tossed the ham into the shopping cart. Scalpel sputtered, his black eyes filled with confusion as he tried to figure out what just happened.
"But…I was…for the…I mean…how did…?" Scalpel said.
"It's called knowing how to negotiate." Gauntlet teased, and walked off with the shopping cart. Scalpel sputtered again, and then his eyes narrowed.
"Looks like he got you again." Robin said.
"God I hate humans!"
Several hours had passed, and night had come. The Titans had finished all their shopping and returned to the Tower, Sophie having gone home to her small apartment. By the time they had gotten home, Savior had already set up everything he had bought appropriately: gifts wrapped and under the tree, decorations set aside to be put up, and food ingredients left in the kitchen. Noel was currently looking at something on the Titans' computer, and it was clear he didn't want to be disturbed: when Beast Boy had asked him if he wanted to help put decorations up, he had begged off saying he had something important to do. So the Titans were left on their own.
Which was not a good sign.
"Ohhhhhhhhhh." Cyborg said, as he found a new box under the (yet undecorated) tree that hadn't been there when he left. A large one. Cyborg picked it up and began to shake it. No noise resulted, but in the classic ways kids think, Cyborg deduced from this that he just had to shake the box harder. Which he did.
"Victor! Cut it out!" Beast Boy yelled, as an elephant trunk grabbed the box away. "You could wreck it!"
"Oh, so it's from you Gar?" Cyborg asked.
"Yes! No! Maybe! Kinda! Sorta! I need a lifeline!" Beast Boy blurted, as he turned into a gorilla and laid the box down, glowering at Cyborg, who smiled good-naturedly and walked away from the tree.
Beast Boy waited about eight seconds before he turned into a pig and went over to another present that happened to beat his name, sniffing intently at it.
"AH HA!" Cyborg yelled, suddenly back.
While pig Beast Boy was letting out the noise of fear only a pig could make, Scalpel was in front of the Titans' fireplace (Scalpel wasn't sure where the fireplace came from, not to mention the chimney: it showed up every Christmas and disappeared soon after. He had no idea why it was there either: not like it was cold enough in Florida to require a fire, snow or not). On top of the mantel, above the Titan's stockings, was a new row of about a dozen snowglobes, placed there by Noel. Scalpel, who had never seen a snowglobe before, took one down, stared at it, and then began tapping it lightly with a claw. That stirred up some of the snow, and Scalpel, intrigued, shook it.
"Ohhh. Ahhhhh." Scalpel said, as the landscape inside the globe began a winter wonderland. He stared it for a while, then put it down and picked up the next globe and shook it. It billowed as well, and Scalpel watched it for a bit and then put it down. He picked up the next one, repeated himself, put it down, next one, etc etc. He finished the twelfth one around fifty seconds later and stepped back to watch.
And frowned. His first snowglobe had stopped, leaving it dull and bare. He went over and gave it another long shake, and then put it back, stepped back…and found the second and third ones had stopped as well. Now annoyed, wanting to see all the snowglobes in action, Scalpel grabbed the second, shook it, and then grabbed the third and did likewise, then bounded back…and growled: No 5 was now dead. So he fixed it, but by then numbers six and seven had stopped…
"Has anyone seen Starfire?" Robin asked: he looked ludicrous in his outfit and mask sans cape, in a chef's hat and an apron that said "The Cook Kicks" with a picture of Sanji from One Piece beneath it. The Titans rotated every year on who cooked Christmas dinner…well, one did. The other was always Terra, as they had discovered that she had a magic talent for saving food. Which was very handy when an amateur cook (say, Beast Boy) had decided to try a few new things and you didn't want to eat your Christmas dinner at Denny's. Robin wasn't a bad cook, but he was very bland: Terra would spice him up. Er, so to speak. In any case, the 23th was generally the practice night: the Titans bought extra food and the two cooks made sure everything went smoothly. If it did, it was dinner, if not, it was an endurance contest to see if anyone could eat what had resulted.
"I don't know! Could have sworn she was with us when we came in!" Gauntlet said, as he wandered out of the room and into another. "Hey Noel! Watcha doing?"
Robin could hear Noel's groan all the way from the other room as he swung back in, only to find Terra intently watching a pot Robin had just put on the stove.
"What's wrong Tara?"
"Just making sure what happened last year doesn't happen again."
(last year)
BOOOOOOOM!
"Noel, what the hell was in that pot!?!" A blackened and soot smeared Terra yelled.
"Just…water…" A similarly messed Savior replied, stunned.
"Water? How in the hell did you make water explode?"
"…I don't know!" Savior said, sounding all the world like Grandpa Simpson.
(now)
"That's for my potatoes." Robin said, as he walked up to the kitchen counter, which was strewn with vegetables and several knives. Robin looked at this setup for a few seconds, and then he got a wicked look in his eye.
"Whooooooo-haaaaa!" Robin whopped, as he snatched up a knife, and in a blur of activity over the next thirty seconds, expertly peeled, chopped, and mixed nearly ten types of vegetables in an amazing display of speed and hand to eye coordination. Finally stopping from showing off, he spun and tossed the knife overhead, and as it thunked into the cutting board, Robin looked eagerly at Terra, greatly anticipating her look of shock…
And found her still staring at the pot.
"You know, the old phrase is wrong. A watched pot does boil." Terra said.
Robin facevaulted.
"Terra…" he groaned as he got up. "Would you happen to know where Kory is?"
"Beats me. Last time I saw her, I heard her say something about finding Santa Claus."
"Ho ho ho! Ho ho ho!" The sidewalk Santa laughed. "Ho ho…"
Starfire dropped down in front of him.
"OHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" The Santa yelled.
"Perhaps you are the one!" Starfire said, and before Sidewalk Santa could say anything Starfire reached out and tugged his beard.
Unfortunately, this man was older and actually had a white beard.
"OOOWWWWW!"
"Oh, you may be…huh?" Starfire said as Sidewalk Santa reared back…and some padding fell out of his red suit. "Oh. You are an avatar as well. And I was so sure." Starfire said sadly. Sidewalk Santa would have complained about Starfire yanking his beard, except she dropped a mass of bills into his pot and flew on before he could. He stared, shrugged, and went back to ho ho hoing, wondering why the strange alien was hunting for Santa Claus. Shouldn't she know the truth?
At about the time Starfire was testing the follicle grip of the Sidewalk Santa, Savior was shooing Gauntlet out of the room he was working in. Well, shooing was a general term, more like "shoving to the point of throwing".
"Gee! I was just kidding about the mistletoe!" Rob said. Said mistletoe then flew at Rob's head at a speed that would have rivaled most ballistic rockets. The yellow Gauntlet energy caught it though, and Rob just turned and walked on.
He walked past Scalpel, who was frantically running back and forth in front of the fireplace, shaking, carrying, and juggling snow globes. Gauntlet watched this for several seconds and then concluded it was some weird alien thing and moved on.
Raven was meditating in the next room. Gauntlet got an idea, and holding the mistletoe above his head, he began sneaking towards Raven. Twenty feet, fifteen feet, ten feet, five feet…
"As if life isn't dangerous enough." Raven commented, not even looking at Gauntlet. Gauntlet stopped, stared, shrugged, and walked on.
He was in a hallway when he heard it.
"Psssst!"
Gauntlet was aware of a whispering noise, though he couldn't make out from where…at least until he looked up and saw a green bat above him.
"Rob! I need to talk to you!" Beast Boy said.
"Uh, ok…"
"Up here!"
Robert Candide was all for strange things, but even he found this peculiar, as he formed a step with yellow power and pushed himself up the ceiling so he was face to snout with Beast Boy.
"Rob, did you manage to snag a copy of Supreme Destructor?"
"Gee, of course, been sitting under the tree for months." Gauntlet replied.
"REALLY?" Beast Boy said.
Gauntlet let his silence speak for itself.
"Oh. Right. Well look Rob, I really want the game for Cyborg, but I don't know if any copies are left in existence. So…I was wondering…could you get on the horn to Pangloss and have him make one?"
Gauntlet blinked.
"Well? Can you? I mean if he can make Personal Deus Ex Machinas he MUST…"
"Gar, let me put it to you this way. How helpful Pangloss is directly related to how good the TV is at the moment. And during Christmas, many shows tend to get trotted out again. A lot. Pangloss isn't much for repitition. Let's just say that one year, if I hadn't distracted him with a DVD of Six Feet Under, we would have been robbed of all the works of Dr. Seuss, if you know what I mean."
Beast Boy stared.
"Uh…yeah…" Beast Boy said, sweatdropping as he was reminded of A) Just how powerful Pangloss was, and B) How utterly irresponsible he could be with that power. "Well…thanks for your time."
Gauntlet hopped down to the ground and walked on. He made it about 27 feet before he heard it coming from a doorway.
"Hey Rob! Pssst!"
Gauntlet looked over at the hulking figure: obviously Cyborg. He went over.
"Yes?"
"Hey Rob, I'm trying to get a game for Gar for Christmas, it's called Supreme Destructor, but all the friggin copies are sold out, so I was wondering if you could call Pangloss…"
They say great minds think alike. Sometimes Rob wondered if the third word was accurate.
Not feeling very happy, Savior wandered out of the computer room…and found Scalpel dancing back and forth in front of the fireplace, frantically juggling about eight Christmas snowglobes.
"Well, aren't you graceful." Savior said dryly. "Not bad considering you only have two fingers and they're made of metal."
"Just help me!" Scalpel yelled.
Shimmer strands caught the globes. Finally free of his task, Scalpel leaned down, putting his hands on his knees and breathing deeply.
"Never…again…I swear…" Scalpel gasped. "Can't…do it…anyway…impossible…"
And he looked up to see Savior finishing shaking all the snow globes simultaneously and placing them on the fireplace before he moved on.
Scalpel stared.
"ARGH!"
Savior didn't know why Scalpel was yelling, as he headed for the kitchen. He walked through…and found a puff of smoke wafting into his face. A scent of burning filled his nostrils.
"Did someone burn the water again?" He asked.
"No, that honor still belongs entirely to you." Terra said as she through the smoke, waving her hands to try and clear it. "What's up Noel? Don't tell me you want to volunteer, because when it comes to cooking, all you can really do is make tea."
"Actually, I need to speak to Tim." Savior said.
"I figured. Hey burn the carrots boy! Your actual skills are needed!" Terra said, and Robin headed over, looking a tad bit sheepish, a very unusual look for the confident human. He removed his mask from his sooty face, revealing a rather amusing raccoon effect he had suffered when whatever he had been cooking went up in flames. Savior's mood wasn't really set for amusement though.
"Yeah Noel?"
"Tim, I'm just making sure…I was going through our funds…is it true we don't have any more money for charity?"
"What?"
"Do we have any money left to give people?"
"Well…sadly no. Our share of the royalties we get from our union's products is exhausted, as well the usual monies we get through stocks and such. We still have plenty of funds, but its all in the more practical aspects: gear for us, food, repairs, repairs for our town, occasional bribes for information…but besides that no Noel. We've already given away all the money we had this year. Why? It was quite a bit."
"No reason…just trying to pass the time…" Savior said, and turned and left the kitchen.
Robin knew that wasn't it though: one didn't get trained by the legendary Batman and not learn to read people. Now, Robin knew Savior tended to be serious nearly all the time, even during the holidays and his birthday, but this wasn't the only thing on his mind, Robin could tell. Something was bothering him.
And he would have followed and asked if Terra hadn't suddenly started making agonized noises behind him. He whirled, actually thinking for a second that the girl was under attack, before he saw her at the sink, frantically scooping water into her mouth.
"Tara! What happened?" Robin asked.
"That pie of yours! What did you put in it?" Terra gagged, and Robin noticed that on the floor was a fallen pie tie, its contents spread out underneath it when it had spilled.
"What? Nothing…! I followed the recipe!"
"You sure? It certainly tastes like a mistake!" Terra said, as she finished drinking/spitting/gargling and went back over to the table, snatching up the list.
"This isn't a complicated pie! Except for the ingredients that came in a box, all you needed was a cup of flour, a few eggs, half a cup of sugar, and a dash of salt! How could…" Terra said, looking up.
Without his mask to hide it, Robin's realized embarrassment was quite profound.
"A dash of salt?"
"Yeah!"
"Oh dear. I thought it said a dish of salt."
Terra facevaulted.
Meanwhile…
"HO HO HELLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Yelled the latest Santa Claus, as he ran along the sidewalk.
"Please! I just wish to see how much like a bowl full of jelly your abdomen is!" Starfire called as she flew after him.
While we were being reminded that while Robin may be extremely competent in a lot of areas, but cooking was not one of them, and that Starfire was taking the Santa Claus legend just a little too seriously, Raven was showing that she wasn't all gloom and seriousness by helping decorate the street, as she carefully wrapped the…fuzzy colored rope thingies you wrap around Christmas trees whose name escapes me at the moment around the very large tree the Titans had.
"Nice job Rae." Beast Boy said as he watched.
"Anything would be better then what Victor tried last year." Raven commented, with a fair mixture of sweetness and biting sarcasm.
What had Cyborg tried last year?
Three words: specially designed cannon.
Result.
"It seemed like a good idea at the time!" He had said, looking at the several Titans who had been wrapped up in the decorations, some tighter then ropes that had held them captive.
"Hey! It looked perfect on paper!" Cyborg said as he hunted through the string of Christmas lights, checking in advance before they were placed on the tree for any bad ones. It was a better solution then what had happened two years ago when they had had all the lights go dead due to a bad one.
What had that solution been?
Four words: specially designed cannon. Again.
Result.
"Man, I didn't think it would burn so fast. Must be that fake snow." Cyborg had said, looking at the ashes that had once been a Christmas tree.
"So does communism." Raven replied back in the present.
"We should put the angel! It's prettier!" Gauntlet argued.
"We should put the star on! It's not so specific!" Scalpel said.
"Argh, Nigel, you mustn't listen to all the PC nonsense that has forced us to say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" because someone might be offended!"
"This has nothing to do with computers!"
"What?"
"How do Microsoft PC's enter into this? I think the star is more general, and besides, it's bigger!"
Gauntlet would have facevaulted, except he didn't want to lose his flow.
"How about you put the angel on and then put the star on top of it?" Cyborg suggested: he had finished checking the lights and Raven was now wrapping them around the tree.
"No! The angel will look silly with a star crown! It should just be the angel!" Gauntlet argued, though there wasn't a trace of seriousness in his voice now. He was ready to compromise: he just wanted to needle Scalpel some more.
"Well, I am certainly not putting the star under the angel, it will lose all its effect if the angel looks to be on the verge of getting a pointy enema!" Scalpel argued: whether he was still continuing on in a serious vein or playing along was unknown only to him.
"It should just be the angel then!"
"No, the star!"
Savior wandered into the room. Whatever was troubling him, it was still on his mind, as he walked past the tree…and stopped, looking annoyed, as Gauntlet and Scalpel's argument quickly degenerated back into a series of one-word exchanges.
"STAR!"
"ANGEL!"
"STAR!"
"ANGEL!"
"STAR!"
"ANGEL!"
It can be said that someone extremely annoyed by something could be on the verge of climbing the walls. In Savior's case, it was quite literal, as the Shimmer pulled him up to the top of the tree.
"ANGEL!"
"STAR!"
"ANGEL!"
"STAR!"
"STAR!"
"I'M NOT FALLING FOR THAT AGAIN!"
"D'OH!"
CHOCK!
The chopping noise caught the two arguing Titans' attention, and then turned to see that the top stick of the tree had been carefully divided into two sticks.
"There. Now you can put both." Savior said as he dropped down. "And if you start arguing on which one should go where, you are on your own!"
"Gee! Thanks Noel! That worked a lot better then Cyborg's solution three years ago!" Gauntlet said.
What had Cyborg done three years ago?
Five words: Specially designed cannon. Yes. Again.
Result.
"I could have sworn the roof was stronger then that…" Cyborg had groaned under the wreckage.
"And on a related note, that joke is officially dead!" Gauntlet said. "Hey Noel, you're just in time for the ornaments!"
"Not this year." Savior replied, already heading out of the room.
"Oh come on Noel!" Gauntlet said. "I swear what happened four years ago won't happen again!"
What had happened…
"I SAID THAT JOKE WAS DEAD!"
Fine, fine.
"Not now." Savior said, leaving the room. Gauntlet frowned.
"Ok, I know Noel is the type that always puts the kibosh on our fun, but he seems to be going out of the way to ignore us. What's his malfunction this time Raven?" Gauntlet asked.
"I'm not sure…" Raven said as she floated down. "He got punched in the face in the mall by some overeager shopper, but it shouldn't be affecting him so…"
And then, in a huge crash and shower of black ash, Starfire came crashing down the chimney. All the Titans jumped. Fortunately, there was no fire.
"It is clear! Santa will have no trouble through our chimney!" Starfire said, beaming, and she brushed herself off and walked out of the room like nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
Brief silence.
"Ok, which one of us is finally going to tell her the truth?" Raven asked.
None of the Titans volunteered.
"Come on. You want to try and eat the special cookies she leaves to keep up the illusion?"
New problem: now there were too many volunteers.
And so the night of the 23th passed: the Titans managed to get through the food testing with no vomiting, and Robin's misreading of dash/dish produced much merriment at Robin's expense. To get back at them, Robin pointed out that due to their busy schedule, the Titans had only done about half of their needed shopping last night: they needed to do the rest tomorrow.
Noel wasn't there: he had retired to his room and asked not to be bothered. Finally realizing that Savior was probably just going to drag them down, the Titans figured they'd leave him alone and promised to retire early for the night.
At least that had been the plan. Until Gar had challenged Victor to an eggnog drinking contest.
That had been followed by a challenge to see if anyone could burp "Frosty The Snowman", Starfire translating English Christmas carols into Tamaranian and then directly back, which often produced hilarious results usually seen when English movie titles were translated into foreign languages that weren't as flexible as English (Indeed, who could forget Boogie Nights becoming "His Powerful Rod Makes Him Famous"? Or As Good As It Gets becoming "Mr. Cat Poop"? Or Gar's personal favorite: George of the Jungle becoming "Big Dumb Monkey Man Keeps Whacking Trees With Groin"? Ok, the last one was a deliberate parody, but it was still hilarious. Watch out for that…), and then the evening got more serious as the Titans recounted that special Christmas gift they always remembered. And then the Titans got into a tournament with a special modded version of the game Ultra Destructor, whose sequel was the game Gar and Victor had been seeking. The mod? A little game called Bonestorm.
"I don't understand how the guy in red pants could beat a tank…" Raven commented during the course of the game. The fact that she was actually playing showed how much of the spirit of the season she was picking up.
Finally, the night concluded with a late night showing of the perennial Christmas film It's a Wonderful Life (and Beast Boy's lobby to show the 1984 horror film Silent Night, Deadly Night was defeated for the sixth straight year).
So when the Titans finally got to bed, it was nearly 2:00 AM.
They're not going to be happy tomorrow…
6:00 AM December 24th, Christmas Eve.
As one, a group of alarm clocks went off.
And almost as one, a group of alarm clocks were turned off, smashed, thrown, blasted, or in Raven's case, teleported to the nearest convenient hell dimension.
Roughly 11:00 AM
"Jesus Christmas! Holy Jesus god damn! Holy Jesus jumping Christmas!" Robin said as he ran down the hallway, or more accurately hopped down the hallway as he tried to put on one of his boots and click his utility belt on at the same time. He wasn't really all that concerned with the fact that he had slept in, but on the superfluous surface he knew that now he and the Titans had a lot of work to do to get through all the crowds, as he turned the corner…
And crashed into Raven. The two went down in a heap.
"Let me guess. Slept in." Raven commented.
"However did you know?" Robin said as he got up and continued running. Raven joined him.
"I sent a mental yell to everyone, but I couldn't reach Noel or Kory. I don't know…" Raven said, as Robin ran into the kitchen…and stopped so suddenly Raven nearly crashed into his back.
Piled on the table and around it were bags, dozens of them, maybe forty in all, and nearby was Savior, looking up from a list he was checking off.
"Oh. Morning guys. Good to see you're still alive." Savior commented.
"Noel? Huh? What happened?" Robin asked, as Raven stepped around and looked at the huge pile.
"Noel…I mean…what did you do? Wake up early and do all the shopping?" Raven asked.
"Yes actually." Savior replied, as he finished with his list. "I went to bed early, but I overheard your plan before I did. When I was up and found no one else was, I figured that no one would be, and rather then wake you all up and make you grumpy I figured I'd just do all the shopping myself. Everything's here, by the way, and I also put nametags on bags so people can pick the appropriate things to wrap and not have their presents spoiled."
"Really?"
"Yes." Noel said, putting down the clipboard. "Do you have any assignments today Tim? Because if you don't, I thought I'd go out and patrol the city, make sure there aren't any riots over something like Darling Donna, which, I am sorry to day, even I couldn't find."
"Well no need Noel, this is…geez…" Robin said, as he looked at the many bags. He heard someone coming up behind him.
"…schmaltzy stuff you…" Beast Boy was saying when he walked in, his outfit on backwards…and stopped when he saw all the bags. "Um…ok…we slept in and all the shopping is done…did someone fool with the Chromonton Destabalizer again…?"
"Noel did all the shopping." Raven said, looking behind her.
"He did? Why?"
"Mainly because I figured you wouldn't. I'll see you around." Savior said, as he started leaving the room.
"What? Wait Savior! Didn't you just get in? Don't you want to rest?" Robin asked.
"Not really. Must be all the good spirit in the air." Savior said, though his tone clearly indicated it wasn't good spirit that was driving him. Robin opened his mouth, and then stopped, trying to find something to say…and then realized he probably couldn't find anything that would stop Noel: he was in one of his moods.
"Do you know where Star is?" He finally asked.
"Kory? No idea. When I woke up she was already gone: I know by the cereal bowl left in the sink. I don't know where she went."
The North Pole.
"How can anyone operate a workstation in this?" Starfire asked herself, though her voice was lost in the howling winter storm over the choppy ice waters. "How much hazard pay do those elves make? These conditions are abhorrent! I hope I do not find that Santa Claus is running some kind of sweatshop where it is impossible to sweat! This is terrible!" Starfire said, and then continued on her hunt for Jolly Old Saint Nick. Don't worry about her: Tamaranians could survive the hard vacuum of space. A little artic weather wasn't going to bother them.
"So, since all the shopping is pretty much done, I guess the day is free. So, do what you want, stay out of trouble, and I'll see you guys tonight or tomorrow or…something." Robin said to the sitting group.
"Don't forget we have a date tonight Gar!" Terra said. Beast Boy, who had gotten up and was trying to leave. He stopped in mid-step.
"Date?"
"You know, the one we made three weeks ago?"
"Oh yeah." Beast Boy said. The date he had made when he had been sure he would find a copy of Supreme Destructor by now. The copy he still desperately wanted to find for Cyborg. "Um, sure! In fact, I have some neat ideas! I'll tell you when I get back in!" Beast Boy said.
"Ok!" Terra said cheerfully as Beast Boy hurried out of the room.
"Ok gods of luck or fortune or chance, after all I've seen, you OWE me." Beast Boy said to himself, as he headed out into the day to try and find a copy of that game.
Gauntlet, on the other hand, had pretty much accepted that he wouldn't be getting a Gauntlet action figure. So, he had taken matters into his own hands. Well, more like his energy extensions, as he had procured a box of Play-Doh from one of the many bags Savior had brought and was using them while the other Titans wrapped presents or put up more decorations. He was just about finished when Cyborg walked in.
"Watcha doing?"
"Our action figures are proving to be in short supply, so I figured I would give myself my own gift." Rob said. "Behold! The one of a kind Gauntlet figure!"
And indeed, Gauntlet had constructed his own action figure out of Play-Doh.
"And since I was bored, the one and only Brother Blood action figure!" Gauntlet said, revealing he had made a Brother Blood figure out of Play-Doh as well. It was actually pretty good, and Cyborg smirked at what he could do to it.
"Let's play!" Gauntlet said, as he began moving his figure around. "Hey Brother Blood! You think you're so tough, but I'm ready to beat you up, even thought my leg just fell off!" Gauntlet said, as Play-Doh reminded Rob that it didn't stick together very well. Deciding to get in on it, and probably confirming that some of the Titans had been ingesting too much eggnog, Cyborg said down and grabbed the Brother Blood figure.
"Oh no Gauntlet! I am unbeatable! Even though I am a thief, and badly dressed, and like looking at…" Was as far as Cyborg got before Brother Blood's head fell off. "Look! I don't even have a brain in my head! Not even a head! Hah, argh!" Cyborg yelled as he and Gauntlet bashed the Play-Doh figures against each other and reduced them to a mess within twenty seconds.
"Well, that killed a minute. What do we do now?"
"I have an idea." Robin suddenly said, and Gauntlet jumped a bit. "We still haven't gotten Starfire a Darling Donna doll. If you have nothing else to do, why don't you go out and look for that?"
"Right, find a Darling Donna." Gauntlet said.
"Probably find Hoffa first." Cyborg muttered in a joking tone.
"Or the Lindbergh baby."
"Look guys, if you have nothing better to do, then you are going to hunt for Darling Donna, because if you don't at least put forth the pretense of doing it, I am going to go to my room, find my heaviest boots, and kick you down the stairs. And I always keep my promises." Robin said, his eyes alight in fake frenzy.
"Yes indeed Tim, you do. And I could certainly keep all my promises if I could fulfill them with my feet." Gauntlet replied. Cyborg cracked up, and Robin frowned at being one-upped, and Gauntlet simply walked off to do as Robin asked. He had nothing better to do.
Raven, meanwhile, was meditating. Again. She didn't do much else for leisure, and she was still a bit worried at Savior's behavior. She would have read his mind if she thought it was serious, but if he was just in a period of melancholy, she really didn't have the right to go poking in his head for what was wrong.
So she floated and pondered, and since that's pretty dull, let's move on to something exciting.
Beast Boy had no idea what had happened. One moment he was hunting for a copy of Supreme Destructor, the next some skeezy guy was whispering he had a line on some copies, the next Beast Boy was in a warehouse on the outskirts of Jump City…that was filled with men dressed a Santa Claus.
He probably shouldn't have listened to the skeezy guy, as the Santas has handed him a copy of Supreme Destructor…and Beast Boy had immediately opened it via a bear claw, much to their surprise, to take a look…and found that the game in the box wasn't Supreme Destructor, but some unidentifiable game with Japanese on it. Then he had called them on it…the result he was now being attacked by dozens of men wearing Santa outfits.
"I could have SWORN I've seen this somewhere…" Beast Boy said as he turned into a hippo and bowled a bunch of them over. He returned to normal…and a Santa actually flipped over the others, whipped out a pair of candy cane nunchunks, and began doing fancy things with them.
Beast Boy watched the ten second display.
Then he turned into a kangaroo and double-legged kicked Ninja Santa across the warehouse.
When the police arrived several minutes later, they found a warehouse full of moaning and groaning Santas and an annoyed green hawk flying away, trying to figure out why he felt he had just participated in some kind of rip off.
The moon.
Yes, the moon.
Slowly, Starfire stepped down on the airless, dry surface of the small dead rock sphere that circled our planet. And if you're wondering how Starfire got all the way to the moon so quickly, well, the thing that screwed with speed was usually friction. No air equals no friction, and since there was no air in space and Tamaranians, as mentioned, could survive in hard vacuum…you could really fly fast. And I mean fast.
Which had not only allowed Starfire to get to the moon swiftly, but search it. And she had found…nothing.
Since there was no air to carry her voice, I will simply tell you what she yelled.
"DAMN YOU MARK TWAIN!"
You see, Mark Twain would always try and convince children that Santa Claus lived on the moon. He never could.
At least, not with human children.
Starfire flew off, heading back to Earth, and wondering if she could convince Tim to fire up the Chromoton Destabalizer so she could go back in time, find the legendary author, and kick him in the shins.
Speaking of children, a rather large group of them were currently heading for a tree, snowballs in hand. These children had never seen snow in their lives, but it hadn't taken them long to figure out how to use it.
And then had a perfect target, as with a shriek Terra broke from the tree and ran for her life. Well, not really, but she certainly acted the part, as the children laughed and chased her, flinging their icy weapons, Terra acting like the cornered, panicked enemy she had presented herself as when she had swooped down to the park and joined the game…
At least until she ran under a large shadow, a shadow the kids were too enjoying themselves to notice…until the large floating rock overturned and dumped all the snow on them.
"AH HA!" Terra said, as she used a small jump to turn around, pumping her fist. "Now who's the main girl, huh?"
And then snowballs began pelting her from behind.
"ACK! ACK! REAR WAVE!" Terra yelled as she fled again, as more children chased her with the snowballs, Terra forming rock hands to retaliate, even as she ran and ran…
And was knocked right off her feet by a powerful blast of snow. This was no snowball, this was a snow cannon, and it threw her right off her bearings and onto her rear. She sputtered and looked at her attacker.
"Sorry Terra. But they were very persuasive recruiters." Cyborg smirked, his arm specially modified to suck up snow and shoot it out. "ATTACK!"
"AH! AH! NO!" Terra shrieked as kids appeared from all around and barraged her with an onslaught of snowballs, all of them laughing, none more so then Cyborg. "TRAITOR! MATA HARI! YOU BENEDICT ARNOLD!"
"Ah don't diss because you jea-liss." Cyborg said.
And then a large rock hand scooped up underneath Cyborg, carrying a large clump of snow with it. Cyborg's eyes widened as he saw another hand appear in front of him, this one holding nothing but snow.
"Oh dear."
With one quick motion, Terra jammed the hands together, rolling Cyborg up in her huge snowball, and then she hurled it at a nearby large pile of snow, where Cyborg crashed with a loud splatter and yell. The great movement had long drawn the kids' attention away from pelting her with snowballs. At Cyborg's impact, they all cheered.
"Looks like you've been double crossed, Cyborg. Not wise to place your loyalties with a group that can be bought with one small spectacle." Terra said, as Cyborg furiously tried to pull himself from the snow pile.
As you might have guessed, Cyborg's presence in the park showed that he and Gauntlet weren't devoting every moment to hunting for Darling Donna. While Cyborg had joined in the snow fight, Gauntlet had made his way across the park and found a kid building a snowman. Not in a very good place: as mentioned some of the Titans had used the Weather Wizard's wand to muck with the climate and produce the snow, but the general temperature, especially in the city, was still pretty warm: the kid's snowman probably wouldn't last all that long.
"Hello." Gauntlet said: there was something about the kid that made him stop and look at the snowman he was making.
"Hey." The kid tossed over his shoulder.
"Making a snowman I see."
"Heck no! Any dumb kid can make a snowman. It takes a genius like me to create art." The kid said. Gauntlet arched an eyebrow.
"Oh really."
"Yes! This snow sculpture transcends corporeal likeness to express deeper truths about the human condition! This sculpture is about grief and suffering!" The kid said, as he turned from his snowman and raised his hand to add emphasis to his words. "One look at the tortured countenance of this figure confirms that the artist has drunk deeply from the cup of life! This work shall endure and inspire future generations!"
"That might take some doing, as it's half melted already." Gauntlet said. The kid stopped, and then turned, and the two stared at the melting snowman.
"Well, keep at it kid, I have stuff to do." Gauntlet said, and walked on. Much like Beast Boy, he had a strange sense he had seen this before.
Beast Boy was having that sense as well, again, but only in a very vague way: the majority of his mind was occupied with more…urgent matters.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Beast Boy screamed as he flew through the air, now strangely wearing a red costume and even more strangely wearing an out of control jet pack. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! HOW DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING!?!?!??! WHO BUILD THIS THING, THE ROCKETEER? AHHHHHHHHHHH MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY……!!!!!!!!!!!"
"This is Halloween! This is Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!" Sang the cavalcade of freaks, monsters, and oddities, as they danced and cavorted past a VERY confused and baffled Starfire.
"…………….I knew I shouldn't have taken that left turn at Albequeque."
Robin had originally planned to spend the day working on his cooking, but after ten minutes he quickly realized that he needed Terra. So he had decided that he may as well follow in the footsteps of Cyborg and Gauntlet and hunt for a Darling Donna…
"Here you go sir! A Furby!"
Good thing Robin didn't facevault: he would have smashed the counter.
"I said I wanted a Darling Donna!"
"What? You nuts kid? Those things have been non-existent for a month!"
Robin facevaulted anyway.
A minute later he left the pawn shop and started heading across the city again, doing a mental checklist of every possible out of the way place that might have a Darling Donna.
On the way, he passed a snarled intersection that was clearing up. Robin could see why: there had been a minor fender bender and the two cars had blocked traffic…at least until Savior had arrived and moved the two cars out of the way. Crouching on the nearby sidewalk, Savior was examining the two cars, and then he actually formed several tools with the Shimmer and began fixing the dented parts of one of the cars, much to the surprise of the occupants discussing their insurance. Robin figured he was fine and went on.
GARLANDS! That's what those damn things you wrap around the tree are called! Garlands!
Er, moving on.
Gauntlet had completed another sweep: no Darling Donna (and in Cyborg's search, no Supreme Destructor, or a Gauntlet action figure, though Cyborg had managed to find a Robin one), and was heading through the park again. And he once again came across the strange kid, who was finishing up another snowman.
"Hey there. Still making snow art?" Gauntlet asked.
"Yep!"
"Your last sculpture melted."
"This time I'm taking advantage of my medium's impermanence." The kid said, stepping back from the snowman. "This sculpture is about transience. As this figure melts, it invites the viewer to contemplate the evanescence of life. This piece speaks of the horror of our own mortality!"
"HEY STUPID!" Came a sudden yell, and Gauntlet glanced to the sidewalk, where an older kid was pointing at the snowman. "It's too warm to build a snowman! What a dope! Ha ha ha ha!"
"A philistine on the sidewalk." Gauntlet commented to the now cross looking kid.
"Genius is never understood in its own time."
Alfred Pennyworth was dusting around the computer when a small beeping noise alerted him that one of the silent alarms had been tripped. He glanced at the alarm: the master was upstairs pondering what tuxedo to wear to whatever Christmas party he was attending this year to keep up his outward appearance, he would be down quickly, but if someone was invading he might not be quick enough, and while Alfred had been in the British military that was a literal lifetime ago and he might be in…
And then, her eyes confused even more, Starfire rose out of one of the deep caverns in the Batcave. Her surprise and confusion was mirrored in Alfred's face.
"Miss Anders?" He said. "However did you get in?"
"……I don't know!" Starfire said, as Grandpa Simpson reigned again.
"Here you go kid! A Funzo!"
Robin facevaulted again.
As you might have guessed, most of the Titans where having a hard time finding anything for their friends.
One was somehow having a harder time then them all.
Nigel Hastings, dressed in his usual trousers with a light colored t-shirt over the top, trolled the streets tirelessly, he himself trying to find those last few gifts for his family here on Earth. The idea of Christmas had sunk in, after a few explanations.
What was his main problem? Despite their problems, at least the Titans were having some success in their LOOKING.
Scalpel…wasn't. Because this time he wasn't aided by the others. He wasn't aided by his pleasant looking counterpart Sophie. He was on his own
In a world where most people found him a little freakish at best.
"Excuse me, do you have a Darling Donna?" He pleasantly asked the store clerks, his clawed hand lightly wrapped around a list, as his blue hair moved in the wind. He had forgone his hat and let his hair fall naturally without any brushing. This however, meant that it was a little... uncontrolled.
All in all, he didn't look too bad, and in fact he looked and acted quite friendly, but not to most people.
The most people being the aforementioned clerks he tried to talk too. Who always seemed to go silent and stare at him in fear. After this happened a few times, he had shrugged and pulled his hat out of his back pocket, in case it was his hair that was scaring them.
He didn't think about his claws. Considering they caused the clerks to start running and screaming. Scalpel sweatdropped.
"This may take longer than I thought..."
Another sweep, another series of expected failures, another trip through the park, another meeting with the strange kid. He'd made another snow sculpture, but instead of a snowman, this time he had a made a small mound with a hole through it and two little bits of snow on the top that looked like ears.
"How's your snow art progressing?" Gauntlet asked.
"I've moved into abstraction!" The kid said proudly.
"Ah." Gauntlet replied, looking at the kid's creation.
"This piece is about the inadequacy of traditional imagery and symbols to convey meaning in today's world. By abandoning representationalism, I'm free to express myself with pure form. Specific interpretation gives way to a more visceral response."
Silence.
"I notice your oeuvre is monochromatic." Gauntlet said.
"Well c'mon, it's just snow." The kid replied.
"Indeed it is. Well kid, nice chatting with you, but I have to be going." Gauntlet said, walking off, passing by a stuffed toy tiger that was sitting nearby.
"Here you go kid! A Red Rider BB gun!"
Robin just stared.
Some time later, Gauntlet, Cyborg, Terra, and Robin met on the outskirts of Jump City. Scalpel was absent, still trying to get some help and still getting the same running and screaming reactions.
"Anyone have any luck?" Robin asked. Everyone shook their heads. "Crap. Oh well…maybe she'll understand."
"We could always just write a letter from Santa saying that he was very busy this year and that he will have to give Star her Darling Donna later." Terra suggested.
"Or Cy here could do what he was picked to do and explain to her the truth behind the legend." Gauntlet joked. It still made Cyborg look uncomfortable.
"Well, whatever the case…say, shouldn't Beast Boy be with us?" Robin asked.
It was a dark, murky, hot room filled with men, Beast Boy sitting at a small table with another man, one who looked as nervous as he did, as a Chinese man in a suit spun the barrel in the revolver and placed it down on the table, saying something loudly and angrily in his language towards Beast Boy.
"Eep." Beast Boy said.
"Speaking of the girl we're working so hard for, where is Kory anyway?" Cyborg asked.
New York City.
The Ed Sullivan Theatre.
A taping of the David Letterman show.
"Ok, send in six more." Dave Letterman said to his people, and the audience laughed. David was playing a prank on a random New York coffee shop: he had recruited several dozen men in Santa costumes and was sending them in in small groups to see how long it took before the coffee shop got fed up with it. Perhaps not so surprisingly, this being New York, the coffee shop was going on with its business, despite the fact there were now 30 plus Santas in it that all claimed they weren't with each other. The image, along with six new Santas walking along and heading inside, coupled with how people theorized the people in the shop must be feeling, was quite amusing, though maybe you had to actually see it to find it funny.
"Are they kicking any of them out yet?" David asked his bandleader, Paul Schaffer.
"Nope, they're all still there Dave."
"Ok, send in five more." Dave said. The crowd laughed again as the video screen from the camera that was filming this event at a distance showed five more Santas heading into the coffee shop: it was now nearly stuffed to bursting with them.
"You think they know?" Dave asked.
"I can't see how."
"Ok then send in…"
And then an orange figure dropped down from the sky and hurried into the coffee shop.
"What? What was that?" David said: he was an old pro at the live television game and it took a lot to throw him, but that did…and then the coffee shop erupted into chaos, and a few seconds later Santas started streaming out and running away, all of them, closely followed by the orange girl.
"Come back! Surely ONE of you must be real!" Starfire yelled.
The camera finally cut back to Dave, and while the late time master could do some amusing fake stunned expressions on part with Jon Stewart, his actual stunned expression was infinitely MORE amusing.
"………Only in New York, ladies and gentleman." Dave finally said, deciding he'd best go on with his show. "Now here's tonight's Top Ten List."
"You know, I don't know where Star is, but I'm sure you guys saw Noel running around." Terra said.
"Yeah, I did. Poor guy's running himself ragged. What's going on?" Cyborg said.
"It's Noel. I think there's a flaw in his genes that makes it impossible for him to have fun." Gauntlet said.
"It's not just that. It's like he's trying to pay some kind of penance." Robin said.
"Noel's ALWAYS trying to do that."
"Well…maybe. Still, he shouldn't be doing it on Christmas." Robin said.
"Right. So what do we do?" Cyborg asked.
Pause.
Then Gauntlet got a wicked expression on his face.
"Uh oh. What have I done?" Robin said, as Cyborg and Terra quickly shared the wicked look. "Guys, you know Noel's not much for shenanigans."
"Good thing we didn't ask him then." Gauntlet replied.
A few hours had passed, and the Titans had all returned to the Tower, minus Savior and Starfire. Disappointed over his failure to find the game, Beast Boy had quickly been roped into the setup for Noel. Even Raven had agreed to it, if only because she had hit a dead end in her theorizing and the incident might shake Noel's tree enough so whatever rotten fruit he was obsessing over might fall out. Scalpel couldn't participate though: he had begged off by saying he had to prepare for something tonight with Sophie and left.
When Savior returned from his mission about forty minutes later, night was starting to fall, as Savior made his way into the Tower. A whole day spent shopping and then keeping the peace: he'd thought that would allow him to come to grips with it. Apparently not, as he headed into the living room…
Give Gauntlet and Co some credit: they knew a dark room and silence would set Noel off immediately and he wouldn't come into the room without arming himself for battle. So, instead, everything was normal, as Savior walked into the room. Robin was currently struggling with a window.
"Ah, you're back. Evening Noel." Robin said, as he finally managed to shove the window open.
"Evening Tim. Why are you opening the window?"
"It's TOO hot in here. We need…" Tim grunted as he finished shoving the wide window open. "To let some of the heat out…for a bit."
"Can't we just turn it down?"
"I find this quicker…"
"Ohhhhhhhh…"
The strange spooky tone momentarily startled Savior, before he turned around…and saw a floating bedsheet several feet in front of him. He didn't know whether to be astonished or laugh.
"Noel Collins…" The sheet said. "I am…"
And then the sheet moved forward…and a corner snagged on the couch and pulled it off, revealing Terra floating on a rock. Her confused, and then embarrassed expression was a perfect counterpoint to Savior's amused/annoyed expression.
"You're no Dickens Rob. Best quit while you're ahead." Savior said. Behind a corner, Rob, dressed as the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come, smacked his forehead and flipped open his communicator.
"Go To Plan B!"
Savior was about to comment to Robin that he thought it was beneath him to play along with little schemes like these when Gauntlet zipped around the corner, having quickly shed his costume.
"Hey Savior! I thought I'd give you my card early, 'cause I'm so damn impatient!" Rob said, and thrust a card into Savior's hand. Savior blinked, and then opened it.
"Merry Christmas ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." Savior said, and then looked in confusion at Gauntlet.
"Get it? No L! NO L! NO L! NO L! NO L!" Gauntlet sang. Savior was about to make a comment about the general nature of puns when Cyborg suddenly slammed a hand down on his shoulder.
"Noel! My good friend! We realize we've been hogging it all, so we figured you deserve some!" Cyborg said. Savior was about to open his mouth to ask what the heck Cyborg was talking about when Beast Boy darted in and shoved a funnel into Noel's mouth. Noel's eyes widened, and then Cyborg (gently) grabbed Noel's hair and pulled his head back in time for Gauntlet to star pouring eggnog down the funnel.
That went over about as well as you could expect.
"UGH! BLARGH! UUGGGHHHHHH!" Savior gasped after a few seconds, pulling away from the clinch as eggnog splattered all over the place. "GUYS! GUYS! STOP IT! YOU'RE TRYING TOO HARD!" He gasped, and then spat. "I appreciate the attempt, but please, leave me alone! This is something I need to work out myself! And you know I hate eggnog!"
"What?" Beast Boy said. "You like eggnog. You hate plum pudding."
"No, I LIKE PLUM PUDDING! I HATE EGGNOG!" Savior snapped, spitting. The three other pranksters (Robin off to the side and Raven watching near the open window) looked at Rob, who grinned awkwardly.
"Heh heh. Oops." He said.
"Really, thanks, but no thanks. Geez." Savior said, as he wiped his face and tried to leave.
"Go for the finale! Quickly!" Gauntlet said, and no sooner did Savior take three steps then Terra was in front of him.
"But Noel, before you go, you must indulge in at least one Christmas tradition!" Terra said, and then she actually shoved him backwards, even as Beast Boy flew up as a dove and hovered above Raven, holding a sprig of mistletoe.
"Yeah, come on, even YOU'LL like this one!" Gauntlet said as she added to the shove.
Too much, as Savior, not wanting to rip up the carpet with the Shimmer, tried to regain his balance on his own, couldn't, stumbled even more…and staggered past Raven and went straight out the window.
"AHHHHHH CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!"
THUD!
Raven stared at this happening, and then back at the Titans who had inadvertently done this, and then she just shook her head and disappeared into the shadows.
Everyone looked at Gauntlet again.
"Heh…well…not like Noel's unused to going through windows."
Raven appeared on the outside of the Tower, where her boyfriend was lying in a pile of snow.
"You ok Noel?" She asked.
"Certainly. The snow cushioned the blow to my spine, so instead I can die of pneumonia." Savior commented, and then he flipped to his feet.
"Noel…don't be angry. They meant well, and I must admit, the way you're behaving…what's wrong Noel? It's Christmas."
"That's exactly the problem Rae." Savior said with a hint of glumness. "Remember what I told you? Well, it's been eating at me. So I've been hunting for the answer. And I think I still need to keep hunting. But don't worry, I'll come back. Just as soon as I figure out a way to shed Marley's chains." Savior said, and then with a toss and yank of the Shimmer, Savior had thrown himself off into the Christmas night.
Raven watched him go, and then she floated up to the open window.
"Where's Savior?" Beast Boy asked when she emerged through it and closed it behind her.
"You remember the quest Rudolph went on to find himself? Savior needs to do that. And hopefully he'll find the answer at the end of it." Raven said. "I suggest we put him out of our minds, not to sound cold hearted. But that's what he would have wanted."
Nigel did up his shirt in the mirror of his room as he continued to ponder. A knock sounded upon his door, and without much warning, it slid open to as Cyborg wandered in, looking around.
"Hey Nige, I realized I never asked you about your progress with shopping. I was wondering if you managed to snag anything." He said, looking around the cozily lit room. For those of you who had never seen Scalpel's room, it was a comfortable setting. Wooden walls with long, flowing pieces of cloth coming down from them, each with writing on them in a language that no one who was Earth born could ever understand. The bed had used to be a monstrous thing that had almost cocooned the young Blacktrinian adult: however, since an unfortunate part of his race's life span he had gotten rid of it, replacing it with a much more comfortable looking bed with a large pillow shaped like an arrow tip, with light-colored bed sheets. The room was lit only by candles and a fire to the side, providing a soft, flickering light. Bookcases of medical journals, notebooks and diaries filled an ornate bookcase, alongside some literature from both Nigel and his new home's culture. There was a walk in wardrobe as well, which was at this time open showing a row of suits, uniforms, jeans, combat outfits, and other miscellaneous bits of clothing, including a special long blade in which to sharpen his claws. In front of the open wardrobe, Scalpel stood getting dressed. He was fully dressed, bar his cuffs, jacket and hat.
"Let's see. Seven mute expressions of horror, four screaming expressions of horror, five screaming and running expressions of horror, three faintings, and one actually wet his pants in the store." Nigel Hastings replied, turning around. Even in this dim light, bandages could be seen under his shirt. In an incident that seemed like it happenedyears ago, Scalpel had been stabbed through the chest by Noel in a desperate attempt to try and stop a near psychotic ex-super hero named Myth (real name Joe Ashton). He was a prime example of how a superhero could turn bad with a little information and the right amount of leverage. That didn't change anything for Scalpel though: he had to live with it, and the only reason he was still alive was because his race could withstand bladed attacks to most places. Of course, if you chopped of a limb he couldn't grow it back, but if said limb was stabbed or sliced, he could still fight. Nigel had explained that this strength was an evolutionary bonus, his race having been using hand-to-hand combat for eons before the his species' Empire was formed. Before that, his race was in a constant state of civil war, where weapons and technology developed as slowly as the land that was gained for good. He couldn't tell his friends WHEN it happened exactly, but somewhere along the line the Hollocus Family on the planet that is now commonly referred to as Blacktrinia Prime, managed to bring the people together, and a race filled with such creatures with evolutionary bonus united was mighty indeed. But another 'bonus' of evolution was that their population rate had sky rocketed, and they were running out of room fast. During the wars, they had managed to crack interstellar travel, but this discovery as a possible peace failed miserably as it was overshadowed by their greater needs. Uniting the planet under the banner for the Kingdom of Blacktrinia though, they jumped out into space to find new worlds, and new possibilities. However, for all their "bonuses" the Blacktrinians had drawbacks as well, and one was that while they excelled with melee weapons, if they were shot they were basically incapacitated. Even so, from there on, they made a near unstoppable empire, but as of late the rule had fallen from a young, though wonderfully compassionate leader to her younger, moron of a brother who sent people to die left and right, and corruption had set in.
Anyway, I digress.
"I am surprised that my action figure joined yours on the sellout list, considering how uncomfortable most people continue to be with my appearance." Scalpel finished.
"Maybe they think you're one of our enemies." Cyborg said, trying not to and yet still staring at the bandage, feeling sorry for his friend, until his alien comrade caught his gaze.
"Perhaps. Is something the matter?" He asked, tilting his head to the side lightly.
"Um..." Cyborg paused, trying to think of a way out of saying 'I was staring at your scars'.
Then he noticed that Nigel wasn't in his usual attire, but rather a pair of trousers that were a deep dark burgundy colour that showed up with the light, and a shirt that was of a slightly different style to his normal 'Crooked buttoned' one.
"What ya all dressed up fancy for?" Cyborg said, relieved that he had managed to get away with that one.
"Weren't you paying attention before? Sophie has decided to accept the invitation to go home this festive season to try and make amends with her family. However, she asked if I wanted to join her, as someone to..." Nigel paused, trying to think of the term she used. "To hold on to." He finished, smiling shyly. He pulled a jacket out from the collection. It was the same burgundy colour, except it was designed to do up rather than hang loose, like the type he wore when he was Scalpel, defender of justice, which could be done up if needed, but looked better undone. Unlike his other one through, there were no buckles on the shoulders for the cape to lock on to. This suit was adapted to the fact humans don't usually wear capes to events, unlike Blacktrinians who loved lots of loose, flowing clothing. The phrase, less is more, springs to mind.
Nigel did up the jacket so it spread out some from his neck, yet not enough to have the shirt poke out from the top. Cyborg also noticed that his claws had been dulled down from the usual surgical sharpness they were, however they had been buffed and shinied up. His mechanical eye could tell things like this.
"The last thing Sophie needs is for me to shake someone's hand and have them cut themselves on my claws." Scalpel sighed, noticing Cyborg's gaze again. He didn't like the feeling that he was going undefended. Sophie had said no weapons, no sharp claws. He knew why. She loved him to bits: she just didn't want people to be scared of him because of sharp claws and his Crescent Blade. Cyborg laughed a little, then looked at the alien's outfit. He looked pretty smart actually. The clothes, though a little unorthodox, weren't bright and gaudy like his battle suits, but rather nice and stylish.
Then Scalpel's communicator beeped, and he opened it.
"Hey Nigel, Sophie's here." Beast Boy said.
"Oh? Ok, let her in." Scalpel said, and snapped the communicator shut…and found the small device squirting from his palm due to his dulled claws. He growled and went after it.
"Well, good luck." Cyborg said, and started to leave.
"Um... wait Victor. I need some of your advice." Scalpel said quietly as he managed to retrieve his communicator. Cyborg stopped. "I'm not sure how to act with these people, they are all rich and..." He paused.
"Powerful?" Cyborg said, trying to finish the sentence.
"I wouldn't say that. They throw money at problems in the hope it will go away. That isn't real power." He stated, shaking his head.
"Influential?"
"That's better, I suppose." Nigel said, and continued on. "But you came from a rich family, how would you act in this situation?"
There was a greater pause then the one before.
"With a lot of tact."
"Tact?" Scalpel said, arching an eyebrow. He was going to ask about what he meant, but another knock on the door came as Sophie waltzed in. She wasn't dressed in her usual attire, but rather a dress for a formal occasion. It was a light purple that also had a tint of red in the light. It reached from her upper chest to the floor as another band of material went around the arms and across the back and front in a way that suggested it almost held it up. She had a small diamond brooch on the left side of this band. She left her hair as it was, and had also applied a very slight hint of makeup. While it was true that Sophie had never been as thin as the other girls, but she looked stunning in this dress. Cyborg was somewhat surprised; he had never really seen her outside of the suit she wore. You lucky bastard. He thought lightly in reference to his fellow super hero.
"Are you ready?" Sophie asked, her toes lightly playing with the carpet under her feet.
"I do believe so, but I'm waiting for Sophie." Nigel joked. "I know she is very beautiful, but instead there is this truly stunning person here." Nigel looked around a little. "Have you seen her oh beautiful lady?" He said as he placed his hand on his eyebrow line and continued to look.
Sophie just blushed, which was helped along by what little blush she used. Though I doubt she needed it really, she had a tendency to blush when it came to flattery, as she never really got it often. She reached up and gently grabbed his hand and they walked out.
"What is the phrase humans use? Oh yes, Cyborg, don't wait up!"
And with a final tug, he left with his girlfriend to try and make reimbursement to a rich and snobbish family.
Which might be more trouble then it was worth.
No troubles had plagued the group of four men who were leaving the store, two holding sacks of money. They had managed to sneak in, successfully cut the alarms, crack the safe, and pull the job off without a hitch. They hadn't even had to use their guns…
Until they exited and found Savior standing there, his arms crossed.
"You know, I try. I really do." He said.
The robbers reacted on instinct, trying to get their guns up…until the Shimmer grabbed them all, disarming the men, pulling away the money bags, and pinning all the men to the wall, Shimmer lines forming bonds and gags.
"I try and tap into the goodwill of this season, try to ignore the ugly parts of it, try to think that something about this time will make men able to overcome the weaker, darker parts of their nature…" Savior said, his hands behind his back as he walked back and forth in front of the tied up robbers. "But no matter what I do, I keep seeing examples of how much falseness there is in the message, and my efforts to try and be content with the message keeps getting run off the rails as I am reminded, oh so brutally, that words are great but action is what matters, and…" Savior said, as he noticed one of the robbers was thrashing. "You ok?" he asked, removing the gag.
"GAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" The robber gasped, and Savior realized the mask the man was wearing made it impossible for him to breath through his nose, and Savior had been covering his mouth.
"Oh. Sorry. You ok now?" Savior asked the gasping robber. He just panted. "Sorry, my mistake."
"Gahhhhhhh…man, why you pickin' on us?" The robber wheezed.
"Well, you people are robbing a store." Savior said. One of the other robbers started moving in a way that indicated he wanted to make a point, so Savior removed his gag.
"This store's made plenty of money! It won't miss one night!"
"Maybe, but robbery is still against the law."
"You think this little thing is bad? Why don't you go pick on the real bad people? The ones with more money then they could ever spend? The ones who have no one to spend it on anyway?" the first robber yelled.
"I would if I could, but I don't know any place like that." Savior said.
"Man, you out of touch! Didn't you hear about the game?" The second freed robber said. Savior arched an eyebrow.
"I'm listening."
The two free robbers, and eventually their comrades, told Savior an incredible story from rumors and gossip they'd heard on the street. Savior listened, intrigued. True, they could be lying through their teeth…but if they weren't…
"Hmmmm, interesting. You're right, that would be more productive then you. I don't know if you're robbing a place for the cliché "you have kids you want a Christmas for" to the more realistic option you want more money for drugs, but I can't let you rob the place." Savior said as he gathered up the money and tossed it through the open back door, before he closed and locked it. "Then again…"
Savior brought the robbers' four guns up, and then encased them in Shimmer energy, crushing and compacting them. When he removed the power the guns had been transformed into a perfect round sphere. It was one of Savior's favorite tricks, but this time he'd signed his name and his fancy symbol right on the metal.
"There's a section on Ebay where collectors buy superhero stuff, some really rich kooks who will purchase anything at ridiculous prices because it might be a shard of Superman's cape. You can probably sell this on it for a few bucks. Might be a delayed Christmas, but better that then a Christmas spent in jail." Savior said as he let the robbers go and tossed the orb to them. "Go on, get! Before I change my mind!"
The robbers ran off. Savior watched them to make sure they didn't double back, and then he lifted himself up to the roof.
"Hmmmmmmmm…that does sound like something…interesting…indeed…" Savior said, and then swung off. Before he did anything, he had to make a few preparations, and specifically, he had to acquire some information.
But he knew exactly where to look.
"Bye bye guys! We'll see you all later tonight!" Terra said, as she headed out, Beast Boy on her arm. Beast Boy smiled as he went out, but it was clearly not a "Yay I'm going out with the love of my life" smile, more of a "Gee I don't meant this really but somebody get me OUT OF HERE" smile, and there was just a slight hint of dragging on Terra's part. Poor girl: she just wanted to spend time with her boyfriend, and here he was just wanting to find a copy of his game.
Robin smirked at this, and then went back to re-reading the recipe book he was examining. Terra might have been the cook, but he was damn sure not going to make the dish of salt mistake again.
"Hey Fearless."
Robin looked up from the book. It was Cyborg, and he looked a tad bit hesitant.
"Hey Victor. Could have sworn you'd be playing game with Raven and Rob." Robin said: on Christmas Eve the Titans who had nothing to do often played board games.
"I would, except they've gotten into one of their grudge matches over Scrabble." Cyborg said. Robin smirked: he knew all too well what Cyborg was talking about. It had all begun one year when Raven had laid a huge spanking on Rob in the game: Rob had spent the next year on and off studying a dictionary and beat her the next year. The feud had been on ever since, and it usually took place around Christmas to ensure it stayed a silly games feud and didn't escalate into something more serious.
"Anyway, I was chosen to tell Kory, uh, the truth about Santa Claus when she comes back…and I figured…well, I'm kind of at a loss Tim. I've just thought of one way to do it, but I figured I'd run it past you, as she is your girlfriend."
"Uh, ok Victor. What do you have planned?"
"Well, Kory's been with you when you've done the CSI stuff we've sometimes had to do, right? She understands it?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I thought I'd appeal to that and show her just how it is scientifically impossible for Santa to exist."
Robin arched an eyebrow.
"Cyborg…that's a good plan on the surface, but don't forget we live in a world with magic and things that defy reality on a weekly basis. You were there when Raven saved our butts during the Final Night, not to mention the End of Metal."
"Well yeah but…argh, just hear me out, ok?" Cyborg asked.
"All right, shoot."
(Writer's Note: As some of you surely know, this is not a theory I originated myself, but a theory published by a science magazine that has floated around the internet for years. But for those who have not yet discovered it, I though I'd place it here for your amusement. Enjoy.)
"All right…" Cyborg said as he produced a dry marker board from somewhere.
"Number 1: No known species of reindeer can fly. However, there are still a theorized 300,000 undiscovered species on this planet, and while they are supposed to be mostly insects and one celled organisms that does not totally rule out flying reindeer which only Santa Claus has ever seen."
Robin smirked.
"Number 2: There are roughly 2 billion children, as in people under 18, in the world, but since Santa doesn't seem to visit the Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, and Buddhist populations, that reduces it to about 15 of the total, about 386 million children according to the Population Reference Bureau. From the average census rate of 3.5 children per family, that's about 91.8 million homes. One assumes there's at least one good child in each."
"Fair assumption."
"Number 3…Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with utilizing the proper manipulation of time zones and the rotation of the Earth, assuming he travels from east to west, which seems logical. So, if you have 31 hours and 91.8 million stops, that works out to about 822.6 visits a SECOND. That means that for each Christian household with good children Santa has 1/1000 of a second to get out of the sleigh, go down the chimney, put presents under the tree, stuff the stockings, eat whatever snacks have been left, go back up the chimney, get back in the sleigh, and head to the next stop. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the Earth, which we know is false but for the purpose of the calculations we will accept, we are talking about a distance around .78 of a mile each, a total trip of 75 and a half million miles, not counting things that must be done over the course of 31 hours, plus feeding, etc etc."
"Quite an accomplishment."
"I'd say. For this to work, this means the sleigh is moving at 650 miles per SECOND, 3,000 times the speed of sound. By comparison, the fastest MAN-MADE object, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a rather paltry 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run 15 miles per hour, tops."
"Must be tricky."
"Yes. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting factor. Assuming that each child only gets a medium sized lego set weighing 2 pounds, the sleigh is carrying 321,300 TONS, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. Now this is a problem, as conventional reindeer can pull, at maximum, a weight of 300 pounds. Even if so called FLYING reindeer (see 1) could pull TEN times that amount, we cannot get the job done with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. Which increases the weight of the whole mass to 353,430 tons, which, for purposes of comparison, is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth."
"Right, I sense the catch coming up."
"As you, and Starfire, would well know, 353,430 tons moving at 625 miles a second creates ENORMOUS air resistance, akin to atmospheric re-entry. At that rate of speed, the lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each."
"Not good."
"Indeed. What would happen was that the head reindeer would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and leaving deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire column of reindeer would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater then gravity, and for the last point of comparison, a ludicrously slim 250 pound Santa would be pinned to the back of his sleigh with 4,315,015 pounds of force."
Robin was silent.
"So, in conclusion, if there ever was a Santa Claus who delivered presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now." Cyborg said, as he pulled away from his dry marker board now covered with calculations. "So, what do you think?"
Silence.
"Well?"
"I think you should just eat her cookies instead."
Cyborg facevaulted.
Gizmo contently sucked on his Pepsi and then re-inserted the candy cane into his mouth as his personal computer/big screen TV began playing his favorite Christmas film…The Muppet's Christmas Carol. All the other movie versions of Dickens' classic story could go stuff themselves, anything was better in Gizmo's opinion when you added muppets to it.
True, his fellow HIVE members were having a Christmas party in the hotel next to the building Gizmo had currently set up shop in…but Gizmo had always been a loner type: he didn't much like huge gatherings at these times. He preferred to be alone…mostly. But for now, he preferred to be alone with his snacks and his film and…
"Ahem."
Gizmo started, and then with a growl of annoyance, spun around his chair as he paused his movie, the panel in the furniture that would activate the many defenses Gizmo kept at his fingertips rising up. He knew that voice.
"Happy holidays Mikron." Savior said.
"What the fudge do YOU what, snotlicker? I haven't done anything during this month, and believe me, that's a lot easier said then done! Why don't you make like Mammoth's pants during our last fight and split, barfeater?"
"Still as eloquent as ever I see, Mikron."
"My NAME IS GIZMO! STOP CALLING ME THAT!"
"Fair enough. And while it's true you and the Troika kept out of our business, may I point out there's still nearly a hundred outstanding warrants out for your arrest."
"Oh yeah? What makes you think you can take me in?" Gizmo smirked, as several guns emerged from the wall, targeting lasers painting Savior's form.
"Two words: EMP grenade." Savior said, holding up the small metal tube. Gizmo's eyes widened. "As fast as you can move, I can pull this pin faster, and not only will it flash fry all your gear, but it will also put a damper on that party raging next door, believe me."
Gizmo's face wavered between rage and resignment, and then it went all the way to resigned as Gizmo sighed and put the guns away.
"What do you want, pit-sniffer? You might not think much of me, but I know damn well you're not one for easy tasks." Gizmo said, the indication being that thrashing Gizmo if all his gear was fried would be said easy task.
"I want some information."
"If you're going to bring up the ASP incident, don't. I paid for my part in that. Your robot junk man could have snapped me in half. He didn't." Gizmo said.
"Right. No. I figure that I should pay you for it."
"How much you willing to offer?"
Savior produced a thick wall of bills. Gizmo's eyes widened. That would buy a lot of gear.
"What do you want?"
"I've heard rumors there some kind of annual poker game happening in Jump City this year, bunch of high criminals getting off on the fact they're playing the game right under our nose. I want to know where they are."
"That it? You could have least given me a challenge, barfbrain!" Gizmo said as he turned around, putting his movie away as he called up a keyboard and began typing rapidly.
"You ever going to get new insults?" Savior asked, actually strolling up to Gizmo's side.
"I LIKE my insults!"
"They're childish."
"And everyone always me to act like an adult because of my brain. Back off, pitlicker!" Gizmo snapped, and went back to typing.
"I'd think verbal articulacy would be far more effective."
"Well, I ain't you and I'm glad of it!" Gizmo said. "Aha! There! That's where the game is happening: Jump City Majestic! Calculator, eat your heart out! You want a printed map too?"
"No. I know where that is. Here." Savior said, laying the roll of bills in Gizmo's lap. "Merry Christmas."
"And a crappy new year!" Gizmo said, as he eagerly pawed at the elastic band.
"I wouldn't open that yet. The dye bomb will go off."
Gizmo stopped dead.
"WHAT?"
"Relax. It's on a timer. Wait an hour and it will disable itself. Unless I found that you lied to me, in which case I will detonate it with this." Savior said, holding up a small switch. "If you gave me good info, you have nothing to worry about. See you next time we stomp your ass, Mikron."
"Oh no! Next time, YOUR ass is going to be the one that is zwieback! You hear me! ZWIEBACK!" Gizmo yelled.
"Zwieback. Toast done twice. You're improving, short stuff." Savior said, and then he was gone. Gizmo grumbled and turned back to his movie.
Savior was just about to leave when he heard it.
"Yoo hoo."
Savior stopped, and then, Shimmer at the ready, at the sight of Jinx standing nearby. She was dressed in a Santa outfit, or rather the "sexy Mrs. Claus" type of Santa outfit, with a skirt and appropriately cut top so it probably wouldn't keep her warm but would remove the need for most males to do so themselves, if you know what I mean.
"Llarenes." Savior said, formally. Llarenes Morath, aka Jinx, could be a bit of a cipher: sometimes she was all giggly and foolish, sometimes serious, and sometimes vicious, and she'd never really forgiven Noel for breaking her nose.
"Hey white stuff. Didn't think I'd seen you around here. You want to try a taste of the bad life?" Jinx asked. She was clearly a bit tipsy.
"I've had enough. Your taste doesn't appeal to me."
"I don't know kid. You drank deeply of Raven's fountain, you might just like mine." Jinx said, and giggled. While Jinx was very good looking in an impish way, she didn't much appeal to Savior, especially when she was making comments like that about Raven.
"No thanks."
"Fine." Jinx said, once again serious. "Knew you weren't the type to bait. Well, since this is the season, why don't you trust me and give this to your robot friend?" Jinx said, as she produced an envelope.
Savior frowned at it.
"Come on! It's not going to bite! Promise." Jinx said, and held herself out so she could try and put the envelope in Savior's pocket. Savior tried to ignore how deeply cut the front of her dress was.
"Come on…its Christmas! We save our wickedness for other times!" Jinx said.
Savior finally took the envelope.
"What's in this? A bomb?"
"Oh, you might say that." Jinx said. "But don't worry. It shouldn't hurt him…in any physical way. See you around, whitey." Jinx said, and turned and walked off, sashaying just a little too much for Savior's taste.
"Great." Savior said, after checking the envelope to be absolutely sure there were no miniaturized explosives of any kind. "You sure know how to pick 'em Cyborg."
And with that Savior left out the window. He had some more stuff to grab and do before he put his plan into action.
"You know, something occurred to me Tara." Beast Boy said as the pair floated to shore on one of Terra's rocks.
"Hmmmmmm?" Terra asked.
"Christmas Eve, every place is surely closed or jammed to capacity…so I was wondering…you want to try something different?"
"Different?" Terra said, smirking and raising an eyebrow in a naughty fashion.
"Not that way! I mean…a different kind of date."
"What would you suggest?"
"Well…I had a weird idea…but nah, too strange…"
"Try me."
"Well…how about a race?"
Terra's expression changed from the saucy "I'll try anything" look she mostly gave Gar to fluster him to a look of genuine confusion.
"A race?"
"Yeah! Across Jump City! Let's see who's faster! It will be different! Unless you're scared." Beast Boy suggested.
Terra's face was now expressing a look of affronted mock-annoyance.
"Try me little man. I'll beat the pants off you in anything you suggest."
"Ok then, you and me, one end to the other. Let's see how much fine control you really have over your powers." Beast Boy said. Several years ago he would have never said that, as it would have produced a very negative reaction, but after years of practice all it did was fire up Terra.
"Oh it's on now green boy. I'll leave you so far behind I'll crash into your back."
"Just try and keep up. Aqualad couldn't, the Zookeeper couldn't, and I'm sure you CAN'T!" Beast Boy said as he transformed into the fastest bird in the world, the rather appropriately named swift, and took off. Terra yelled and flew after him, breaking off parts of her rock until she had a perfectly streamlined version that she flew after Beast Boy with…and passed him.
And then they flew into thick cloud cover.
Terra emerged from the other end a few seconds later. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw no Beast Boy, and deciding that was a good thing, she whooped and poured it on, fully determined to get the bragging rights for this.
Which Beast Boy was fully ready to let her have, as he flew down from the smoke and into Jump City. He quickly located a store, flew down, transformed, and went in.
"Did you…"
"Sorry Beast Boy. Nothing."
"Nuts!" Beast Boy said, as he ran out, transformed again, and went to the next location, as Terra flew on, racing a race in which she was the only participant.
We turn once again to the stage where Nigel Hastings, still referred to as Scalpel every now and then, had accompanied his girlfriend to what was in theory a nice, pleasant meal in which the pair of them would try and make peace with Mrs and Mr. Mathews before the New Year was up.
And just in case Sophie was going to sneak upstairs and grab a few more of her things.
As the pair approached the manor house, Scalpel could only gawk at the sheer size of the place. As you may or may not know, Nigel came from a planet where the tallest building was a two-story house on the edge of a farm. Such an over extravagant mansion was beyond him, especially since this one was taller and wider than it really needed to be considering there was only a handful of people there. At least in office buildings there were a lot of people, which is why they needed to be so large, and in the case of the Titans they needed a lot of space for gear and other stuff. This was too much for a small group of normal people: It was a grand four story stately home in the style of pre-revolution America, with hints of pre-war additions. The gardens alone spanned for incredible distances, with no real point to them but to show off the wealth that ran in her family, the wealth that Sophie had intended to try and get away from in the first place by taking over her grandfather's undertaking business and by trying to be more down to earth.
"Sphedoikel." Scalpel said in Blacktrinian.
"It may look nice on the outside, on the inside it's a prison." Sophie commented, sighing somewhat before straightening her dress and making sure she looked alright. It was a sad fact that despite her mother preaching the word that everyone was special to try and bolster her movie career, she was very big on outer appearance. And Sophie tried her hardest not to let her mother find something to goad her about.
"Are you ready?" Nigel asked, placing a hand on her shoulder lightly. "We do not have to go. We can always go somewhere else, or back to the Tower."
"It's okay. I have to do this sometime anyway. I'm just glad someone is here to offer me a hand." Sophie said. She patted his hand lightly before they started to stroll up the path, as they counted the fancy cars that passed them. They had decided to park on the roadside, to try and prevent getting blocked in just in case something bad happened. The car had a special tag on it that showed it was a Titans' car and therefore, was not to get a parking ticket.
It was a very long driveway, but they eventually made it to the front door. Scalpel, after making sure he was nice and presentable in his suit, raised his clenched, clawed fist to the large solid oak door, trying to restrain his strength enough not to knock down such a wonderfully crafted gate and at the same time trying to make sure he was heard. He managed it, though the knock was a little loud.
Waiting for a moment or two, the pair thought of trying again, but instead they sighed together and just settled for pulling the cord for the doorbell. No sooner had they done this then a greying man opened the door.
"Welcome Miss Mathews and guest." He said in a strong and well-pronounced voice, and then turned and carried on into the home. "I do believe your mother and other guests are waiting in the Drawing room."
"The Drawing room?" Scalpel asked with a good helping of confusion.
"It's a better name than the ocean room." Sophie replied, and led him towards said drawing room, a large wood panelled room with bookcases and liquor cabinets, where her stepmother, father and guests were indeed waiting, sipping wine and discussing business matters in the high and self-righteous way people like these tended to do. To most, Christmas was a time for a person's family, a time where people listen and talk about things that matter, exchange gifts to see another person smile or to just stuff yourself with food. For the Mathews however, it was just another day where they could conduct business as usual.
Sophie entered the room quietly and approached her stepmother, the conversation faltering as stares started to fall on the couple.
"Ah Sophie. You came. Hmmm. Just because it's the time of year for a jolly fat man doesn't mean people need to try and be that 'jolly' themselves." A tall, near anorexic woman stated, her own hair, a sort of dirty blonde colour, waving slightly.
"Hello to you too... mother."
The last word was said with some disdain. Scalpel didn't need to be a battle scarred warrior to read Sophie's body language. Before she had even said a word, she seemed to lose the energy to keep going. And in the back of his mind the young alien knew that he wasn't going to enjoy this at all...
"This is my Boyfriend and guest, Scalpel from the Teen Titans. You will excuse him if he won't use his real name; he needs to keep his identity secret and all." She quickly added, noting the stares around them. She made sure to say it quickly to avoid any arguments. The Titan in mention bowed quietly.
"Who would need a secret identity when you wander around looking like that twenty four hours of every day of the week?" Sophie's mother replied. She took a long drag on her cigarette before she turned to finish her verbal disembowelling. "I'd say it's a pleasure, but my husband on the other hand would rather have you committed than congratulated on your efforts. And where did you get those gaudy pieces of clothing? You run into a dye truck? Is that how you received your powers?"
Scalpel, off to Sophie's side and down a little, the suit he wore a nice quiet dark suit that shone burgundy when the light glinted on it, was a tad bit affronted.
"Says the woman who is wearing a bird on her shoulders?" Sophie nearly spat, gesturing towards the feather like motif that surrounded the shoulders of the tall actress. I guess she was more then a tad bit affronted.
"I don't like your tone young woman!" Mrs Mathews replied, glaring at the young undertaker.
"You never really liked her tone." A new voice interjected into the conversation, and a smiling middle-aged man came over, but it wasn't a smile at Sophie, but at the current Mrs Mathews.
"Hello father." Sophie stated, a lot more pleasantly than when she greeted her mother. Sophie's father was a tall, well dressed man in his late thirties or earl forties with dark hair brushed with an off centre relatively short part. The grey had not yet started to show, but time had started to whittle away at his face. Like everyone, save Scalpel and Sophie, he was dressed in very expensive clothing; the shirt alone cost three thousand dollars. Sophie was born of his first wife, a young and attractive young thing who died in a car accident. The details were never revealed to her on how she died, all she knew was it was a motor accident (something she had never told Noel, he probably would have become very suspicious and began sniffing around as he once again found a way to try and assuage the guilt he felt about his own mother). The rumours surrounding her stepmother's first, or rather second, husband was that he had overdosed on cocaine trying to relax before going on stage. Sophie was from her father's side, and the piece of work that is also known as her half-brother came from her step mother's side.
"It's a pleasure to meet you both." Nigel said, as he dusted off his knowledge of human customs and extended his hand in a slow and friendly manner towards Mr. Mathews, smiling politely. Sophie was proud of him: he didn't alienate himself in any way and he was gracious and nice even though they had insulted the pair before they even said hello.
Unfortunately his hand was only looked at in a sort of disgust, before he retracted it.
"Well it certainly is a pleasure to finally meet one of the men who ruined my business a few weeks ago." Mr Mathews said, and smiled lightly, but it was an angry smile, and each word was tipped with venom. Nigel blinked a little.
"Oh father, please. I've come here to try and make up with my family; I don't want everyone to be at each other's throats all night." Sophie tried to speak up.
"I know dear, but out of all the people why did you bring a Titan?" He asked, glaring at Scalpel. Whispers seemed to erupt around the room, talking in quiet worry. To become rich, one often had to stick and or keep your hands in some dirty business, and each person here was worried that their schemes, part or present, would be divulged, or that something would generally go wrong. The last thing they needed was for their large 'Christmas bonus' to be discovered prematurely because a fool invited a Titan to dinner.
"Should I go?" Nigel asked lightly, thumbing towards a door.
"Yes!"
"NO!" Sophie semi-yelled, and quickly wrapped her arm around his and dragged the starting to leave alien back. When out and about, she was a mild mannered, kindhearted Good Samaritan, but this was her old home now and she wasn't going to let them win, not on any level. They had pushed her around and about enough, and she wasn't going to let the one person she cared about more than anyone else in the world to be pushed around by them as well due to his lack of knowledge in these things. "No, you are staying. We can talk about these things later, all of you." She stated towards her family.
"Yes, let us gather around the tree and play happy families." A snide, undermining voice came from the side of the group. They looked over, and of course there was Sophie's oh so loving brother, one Anthony Mathews, his blond hair slicked back with strands coming slightly across his face. He looked at her, green eyes gazing past a broken nose. If you don't remember, a little while ago when we first met her brother, Scalpel broke his nose and made him loose a tooth or two with a single punch. Even with the best doctors at his beck and call, his nose had set somewhat by the time he actually got medical help, so he was now the owner of a very attractive broken nose. It just added to his smart thug appearance. Not liking where this was going, Scalpel lightly pulled Sophie behind him.
"What do you want?" He asked plainly, starting to become tired of all the hassle that was being heaped on the young couple.
"I always knew there were something between you two." Tony said, his surface good mood hiding a very potent anger, as he lightly pointed between the two before laughing.
"I should have you arrested for this." He, said, pointing to his nose, smirking in the way of the hoity-toity. Scalpel was left speechless for a moment or two, his words making the young hero take a step back. Many responses raced through his mind, one of which was something along the lines of "I'd do it again, and see if I couldn't inflict some damage to that jaw of yours as well". Nigel, however, had Sophie to think about and he may as well try and make peace with the young man for her sake.
"I'm sorry." He said lightly.
"You're sorry?" Tony asked incredulously, placing his free hand in his pocket while he glared daggers.
"Yes." The alien replied cleanly, not quite realizing the situation as a whole. The younger of the male Mathews', despite his calm outward appearance, was about to blow his top.
However the starter meal had by now been served, and everyone was quickly drawn to their seats.
"Oh joy." Sophie said, her shoulders slumped while her arms hung a little lifeless by her sides. This was not going to go like the reunion she had planned in her head.
And Nigel wondered if it was going to be a mistake that he had left his glaive at home...
And from one kind of grand to another…yet both were quite similar in their ways…
In the words of the immortal Miss Piggy, you can usually tell how good a hotel was by the exact opposite of its length and grandness of its name, so "The Hotel Central will prove to be a clean, pleasant place in a good part of town, and the Hotel Royal Majestic-Fantastic will be a fleabag next to a topless bowling alley."
The Jump City Majestic pretty much fit the bill: it was a run down place with a rattly ice machine and three channels that showed adult films and one channel that showed normal TV. However, that was the main reason it had been chosen this year: it was not the place people would expect to find these kind of people. Since it was Christmas, the hotel was empty…except for the special guests, who had basically been given the key by the people who ran the hotel and told to do as they pleased. You didn't piss people like this off, as gathered by the large number of men (and some women) out in the parking lot armed with guns. On top of that, the room which had been cleaned and set up for the game also had about fifteen more men armed to the teeth, along with a few men who clearly possessed greater power then guns. Then there was the dealer, a trusted associate who had been doing these games for the past fourteen years, and the six players.
The men playing this annual poker game were the type of criminals even the Titans could not stop: they hid and shielded themselves too well for the Titans' usual tactics of "pound the crap out of the enemy" to work. Not to say the Titans and their ilk didn't do any damage: none of the men sitting at the table could be said to like superheroes. Which is why they were playing the game in Jump City in the first place: as mentioned, it was a way of dismissing the superheroes by playing in their very back yard. They changed the location every year, and this year was Jump City. But, as mentioned, these were very powerful men in the world of crime, and they didn't exactly want to announce their presence. Hence the secrecy (despite the rumors, only a Gizmo probably could have found the place, or a Robin) and the security.
Only two of the six men were very important. Of the remaining four, two were crime lords in small cities much like the kind Stephen Pierce had been before he had met the vigilante Cauterize, another was a very wealthy (and classic) pimp whose Snoop Dogg like appearance and extremely foul language concealed a deviously clever mind, another was a boy no more then twenty-two who was taking the place of his far stronger mother, who had been a fixture of these games for the past nine years until her recent death, and who would probably not last long in this world.
The remaining two were better known.
One was Oswald Cobblepot, better known as the Penguin.
And the other was Leopold Magozzi, a man whose name you probably would not recognize, because he went to great pains to keep it that way. The ones who should know the name knew it though, and it was feared. Magozzi was a legend in the dark shadows of the underworld, one of the last old school Mafia dons that had slipped through the fingers of the law and his rivals when so many of his ilk were being jailed and assassinated, or worse, replaced by the harder, nastier, more vicious and dead souled criminals who had emerged from Russia, Jamaica, and other places. He was over 70 but still as powerful as any man, and his silver haired, Italian countenance drew respect even from the very accomplished criminal mind of the Penguin. He had been one of the founders of this game, and the one who had won it the most of all the times he had played it, which had been virtually every year since he had started it several decades ago.
And they had been hard fought wins. You do not reach this level without possessing the ability to play games well, for a great deal of this or any life is games. And another thing: cheating was absolutely forbidden. That had been a set rule since it had begun: this was a game of superiority, not sneakiness and backstabbing, and it was the one rule that Magozzi kept with an iron fist. In the several decades this game had happened, only two people had ever been caught cheating. What happened to them is not appropriate for a Christmas story.
"Good evening all." Magozzi said: the game was just about to begin. "I trust you have all had beneficial years."
"Yeah, cept for Penguin getting his fool ass kicked out of Gotham." Snorted the pimp, a fellow by the name of Eaton Freedman.
"Be quiet you brainless peddler of smut!" Cobblepot snapped.
"Make me you bird-bleeper." Freedman fired back. Well, he did not actually say bleeper, but I don't want hardswearing in this story, so when he said bleep, he was really saying something else. The Penguin snarled, the birdlike noise reminding everyone why his namesake was so, and the two very large most like superstrong men behind him began moving forward. The three boys Freedman had brought responded by drawing some very large guns.
"Enough." Magozzi said, and that was all it took. "We do not fight amongst ourselves. Not here anyway."
The chips came out and began to be given out: all the players had brought bags of money which were now resting on a nearby table, nearly twenty million dollars in freshly laundered funds. The money itself being there was another custom: in these days it was easier to send money electronically, but sometimes tradition was king. The players began: they would use Texas Hold 'Em to narrow down the players, and then the last two would switch to Five Card Stud.
"Begin." Magozzi said, and the dealer began dealing.
A few hands had been played, five players testing the waters and the young buck, Richard Hammond, the son of Cherra Hammond who had met her death this year, quickly demonstrating he would be joining his mother very soon. Though he said nothing, the young man disgusted Magozzi. His last surviving son, the two stronger ones having perished in his wars, was just like Hammond: fearful, inexperienced, weak. But Magozzi did not want to ruin his evening thinking of that, so he played the aforementioned few hands.
And then the ruckus broke out outside.
"What the bleep?" Freedman said, as gunshots and crashing noises erupted from the quiet.
"Boss?" One of Magozzi's guards asked.
"Wait…watch the door…" Magozzi said, speaking to all the men assembled between the six.
A quick three knocks sounded over the racket.
"Open the door."
A guard did so, and a frantic looking man, his suit covered by a thin jacket, came in.
"Sirs, we have a problem, we…"
And then another body flew through the air and crashed into the back of the speaking man, sending them both down, unconscious. By now, all the guards in the room were ready to raise havoc.
And they would soon have a target, as the noise had stopped outside, and a figure approached the door.
"Lousy welcoming committee you have gentlemen…" Came a voice.
And Savior walked through the door, a very large bag slung over his arm. Guns cocked and laser sights appeared on Savior's form.
"Titan!" Cobblepot squawked, recognizing Savior. "Kill him!"
"I wouldn't recommend that." Savior replied quietly.
"Oh yeah Bleeper? Well you be smoking some bleepin' fierce bleep, because you look pretty bleepin' dead to me!" Freedman snapped, up on his feet with his own large cannon in his hands.
"All right then. Shoot me. It will be the last thing you do."
"Says who motherbleeper?"
"Says the bomb I swallowed before I came here that is monitoring my pulse rate."
Silence.
"Go ahead, shoot. Any spikes or crashes in my heartbeat will result in a very big boom that WILL vaporize every last one of you. I brought X-Rays in case you think I'm bluffing." Savior said calmly.
Silence again.
And then, Magozzi, who had quietly observed everything, spoke.
"What do you want?"
Savior's eyes turned to the old man, knowing at once he was the power player. He shrugged off his bag and opened it, revealing a great deal of tied bills in very high monetary amounts. If Robin checked the Titans' bank accounts, he was going to get the shock of his life: both at the empty accounts and the fact that Savior had managed to get it all in actual cash despite the absence of any banks or legal means. But Savior hadn't spent these last several years fighting crime without learning some of crime's tricks.
"This is 2.2 million dollars. I believe that's enough to buy my way into this game."
"WHAT? YOU BLEEPIN' CRAZY YOU BLEEP?" Freedman roared.
"You tell me." Savior said.
Freedman opened his mouth again…and found he has nothing to say.
"So? Will you let me play?"
Silence again.
"Child…even if you have chosen to swallow a bomb…what makes you think that we will let your impudent presence intrude on our game? And if you believe the money will allow it, I will tell you that it will not." Magozzi said quietly, looking at Savior over interlaced palms.
"Oh, I know. This much money between your ilk is chicken feed. That's why I am offering a far more tempting prize if you let me join this game."
"What? What could you offer? That you won't tell your fellows where you are? Silly fledgling, we are doing nothing wrong! There is nothing you can arrest us for!" The Penguin clucked. Savior glanced at the squat little man, and the Penguin, despite himself, felt a slight chill: there was more then a little of the accursed Bat in that gaze.
"No…my prize is not my silence."
"Then what is it?"
"My life."
Quiet.
"I offer this: if anyone defeats me in this game, they can kill me."
Speaking of death, Beast Boy certainly looked half dead when he pulled himself up to Terra's rock and collapsed, utterly exhausted. Terra watched with some confusion, some amusement, and some concern.
"Gar! What happened? It's been nearly twenty minutes!"
"Ho boy…you've gotten good Tara…I never knew what hit me…you certainly proved that…you know your stuff now…" Beast Boy gasped, trying to get his breath back. Not from having failed to beat Terra in a race of course: from his exhaustive efforts to hit as many stores as he could before Terra got suspicious. Which had been about twelve. And none of them had Supreme Destructor.
"Gar, you ok?"
"Just need…to get air…" Beast Boy said. Despite his exhaustion, he quickly regained his breath: he had good cardio.
"Maybe we should rest now."
"Rest! No….!!!!" Beast Boy said in the best not all that serious machismo he could muster. "My honor has been defiled! My streak has been broken! I must regain it! I challenge you to a rematch!"
"BB, that might not be the best idea. You might have torn a muscle."
"Muscle? No way! That's nothing! I tear muscles all the time! Look, I tore my quad this morning, I'm still going!" Beast Boy said, hopping around. Terra cocked her head.
"I still don't think it's a good idea."
"Ok then…aha! We shall change it! Not a straight out a sprint, a test of memory and reflexes! We shall go down into the city and go through it like a maze, winner take all!"
"Uh…"
"Oh come on! Don't be a girl!"
"Don't be a girl? Why you…" Terra said, as she dropped her rock down into the buildings of Jump City. "Ok hotshot, you're so eager, let's GO!" Terra yelled, as she flew off on her rock so fast Beast Boy fell off. He turned into a hawk immediately, flew after her, waited until she went around the building…and then zipped down to the street and went into the nearest Radio Shack.
"Do you have Supreme Destructor?"
"What? You nuts? That's been sold out for…"
"Argh!" Beast Boy said as he ran out of the store, turned into a bird, and flew about a block before he found another electronics store.
"Do you have…"
"Sold out of Supreme Destructor two and a half weeks ago kid."
"Crap!" Beast Boy said, running out, becoming a bird, and flying on. The next store he found was at the end of a dark alleyway, and if he had been thinking clearly he probably wouldn't have gone into it. But he wasn't, so he did.
"Hey do…" Beast Boy trailed off as he saw all the bizarre artifacts and trinkets that stacked the store shelves. He heard a rustling, and suddenly found himself staring at a wizened old man.
"Uh…I don't suppose you sell video games." Beast Boy said lamely.
"We sell forbidden objects from where men fear to tread." The old man said. "We also sell frozen yogurt, which I call frogurt!"
"Uh…ok…I don't think you have anything I want." Beast Boy said.
"Who knows? Perhaps this doll will interest you." The old man said, taking a garish doll off the shelf. "But if you do take it, beware. It carries a terrible curse."
"Uh no, that's bad." Beast Boy replied.
"But it comes with a free frogurt!" The old man added.
"Well, that's good…"
"The frogurt is also cursed."
"That's bad."
"But you get your choice of toppings!"
"That's good!"
"The toppings contain potassium benzoate."
Beast Boy started blankly.
"That's bad." The shopkeeper finished.
"Can I go now?"
"You can't be serious." Cobblepot said.
"Oh, deadly so Penguin." Savior said: Cobblepot grimaced at the name, he hated being called that. "You let me into this game, and if I lose, I'll cough up the bomb and then you can put a bullet into my head right here and now, if you so desire. None of my teammates know where I am, and I'm sure that the six of you have enough resources to make sure I disappear in such a fashion so that it never gets traced back to you…at least, in any way that can do you harm." Savior said. His undertone was quite clear: while there would be no physical evidence, the word on the street would be enough. And anyone who killed a superhero and got away with it was going to get quite a boost to their reputation…
"How do we know you will not attempt any trickery?" Magozzi asked quietly.
"Well, just so you know I have a bomb…" Savior said, and then placed his hand over his mouth. His eyes grimaced, and then he removed his hand to reveal a flashing, beeping orb held by the Shimmer. While most of them hid it, the villains looked worried for a bit before Savior placed his hand back against his mouth and assumingly replaced the bomb. "You win, I'll remove it and turn it off. And to prove I only have one, I brought x-rays. Now, as for cheating…you may examine my clothing, and even take it away from me if you wish: if I have to, I'll play naked. And in case you were wondering that I could use my powers to cheat…" Savior said, as he reached into the bag and pulled out a metallic collar. "This will disable my powers completely. Feel free to test it if you think I'm lying, I am sure that at least two of you are metahumans."
A brief pause.
"Elle." Cobblepot said to one his large goons (It was short for Elephant, in case you were wondering). Elle stomped over and took the collar, which adjusted itself automatically so it would fit around his bulky neck. Elle went out and retrieved two cinder blocks from outside. He crushed one with his bare hands, easily. He then put on the collar and tried again: despite a great deal of strain, he could not even crack the second one.
"Seems legit boss." He said, taking the collar off, and crushing the second cinderblock just to check.
"Topper." Said one of the silent lesser crime lords, and one of his men stepped forward. He snapped his fingers, and a fireball appeared on his hand. He dissipated it and put on the collar. Twenty finger snappings produced no fireball. He removed it and nodded to his boss.
"That is enough." Magozzi said. "Search him."
The next two minutes were spent as six men searched every inch of Savior's body and the bag he had brought, and in the end they had removed every bit of clothing Savior had except his pants. They even tried to cut into his jacket to see if they could find anything, only to be rebuffed when the material completely resisted their knives.
"Enough." Magozzi said again. "…Very well. I will let you play child. But if you attempt to renege on your prize in any way…you will dearly regret it."
"You gonna let the bleeper play? You sure Mr. Magozzi?" Freedman asked.
"Yes. If you have a problem, then I suggest you withdraw from the game now." Magozzi replied.
"Huh, no bleepin way! My cred will hit the stra-tos-fear when I waste his bleeper bleep!" Freedman said, as Savior put on the collar. "But one more thing! Jalieno!"
One of Freedman's men stepped forward.
"Check to make sure he didn't fiddle with his fancy ass bleep so the only powers it doesn't turn off is his!"
Jalieno headed over to Savior.
Savior stood quietly and watched.
So quickly that none of the humans saw it (though it was human ability, not any kind of special power), Jalieno whipped out a small blade and thrust it at Savior's eye, stopping about a centimeter from it. It took about a second for Savior to realize what had happened and he recoiled away.
"Huh. No bleep can fake that kind of bleep if he has bleep'n bleep powers to save his bleep." Freedman said, as Jalieno walked back to his boss' side.
"Does anyone else require satisfaction?" Magozzi asked.
No one did.
"Very well." Magozzi said. He said no more: he didn't need to, as Savior stepped back up to the table and sat down. He was given his chips, and the dealer began dealing.
But all eyes were on the young superhero, the one who had not only tracked them down but offered his own life as a prize in their game. To the six, it would be one hell of a Christmas present.
And for Savior…well, he was just thinking about his first hand. His reason for doing this, the cost of it all, the whole situation…that was out of his head. This was what he had decided to do, and he would do it.
Or he would die.
On Christmas Eve.
But that was his choice.
Terra was tapping her foot impatiently when Beast Boy finally crawled up on her floating rock.
"You know Gar, I think you need to step up your training: this level of failure and exhaustion is bad even for you…"
"Geez…you're…right…what's…going on…" Beast Boy gasped. "No…I just think…you've gotten so much better…then I…Tara…but how about….best…"
"No! No more races! You've had it! It's time for tradition!" Terra said. Beast Boy groaned inwardly: he still hadn't found a copy of Supreme Destructor (though he'd managed to locate a Starfire and Scalpel action figure set: he'd bought those and left them on a rooftop with a radioed message for Robin to come pick them up), and he still had a fair amount of stores to search.
"You know what…you're right." Beast Boy said. "Let's take a rest: I know a great place where we can get some hot chocolate…just…follow me…" Beast Boy said, as he turned into an eagle and swooped down. Terra followed him to a nearby park, where someone had set up some weird device to allow ice skating in the still rather warm temperatures: it was amazing some of the things people built these days. "You stay here! I'll go get the hot chocolate!"
"Uh…ok…" Terra said, as she sat down. She watched Beast Boy run off, and then with a puzzled expression she turned to watch the skaters.
"Ah man, what does a guy have to do to find a video game on Christmas Eve?" Beast Boy yelled as he ran into the nearest store. Of course, they didn't have Supreme Destructor. Out the door and to the next store Beast Boy went.
This one had a copy of Supreme Destructor.
The bad news was it was being awarded in a draw that was happening when Beast Boy came into the store. He groaned as the woman who won it went into hysterics…and then was attacked by four teenage boys who stole her copy.
Too bad for them they found a green gorilla waiting in the doorway.
The game hadn't taken long to have its first casualty: Richard Hammond had, as most people guessed, flamed out early and flamed out spectacularly. Though some of them knew why: he had wanted the prize Savior offered. Most of the underworld thought of him as a joke: killing a superhero would quickly change that, and finally allow him to start rebuilding what his mother had left him in his own image. For that he had begun playing aggressively…and showed that all he had was a legacy and no skill or brains as he had quickly been taken for all he was worth. He almost looked like he was going to cry when he left: Savior had a feeling he'd be dead in two months, tops, when someone stronger, more vicious, and hungrier would want to take over his mother's slice of the criminal world. Savior almost felt sorry for him. Almost.
Down to six, and with the ante's at $10,000 and the Blinds/Big Blinds at 50 and 100 thousand apiece, Savior knew he'd have to start making a move soon: he hadn't won a hand yet. Though that was more so to the fact he kept getting crappy hands. He was dealt his latest one: a 7 and a 3. He murmured to himself and tossed them away.
Cobblepot didn't: he raised to $200,000. Magozzi and Freedman quickly matched it: the other two nameless crime figures bowed out. The dealer placed down the first three cards: Jack of Spades, 10 of Diamonds, Queen of Diamonds. Cobblepot smirked, his jaw tightly clutching on the long cigarette holder he had clamped in his mouth.
"Raise to 350 grand." He said, pushing more chips in. The dealer looked at the two remaining players. Magozzi placed his cards down, indicating he was withdrawing: Freedman got an intense look that more indicated he wanted to choose what part of Cobblepot he'd like to bite off rather then the fact he was thinking.
"You got it." He finally said, as he shoved in more chips. All attention focused on the dealer now, as he laid down the forth card: Queen of Clubs.
Both players stared at each other.
"I'm all in." Cobblepot said, and shoved all his chips in.
Freedman made a tick. It was immensely subtle…unless you were a skilled poker player.
"…All right, so am I." He said, just a little too quickly. With all the chips in, the dealer dealt the final card: Jack of Hearts.
"Read it and weep, street trash: Three Jacks!" Cobblepot said as he turned over his two cards: A 6 and the Jack of Diamonds.
"Ah bleep! All I got is some bleeps! Four of them, to be precise, birdbleeper!" Freedman yelled back, flipping over his hand to reveal he had the Queen of Heart and Spades.
"WHAT?" Cobblepot yelled, his monocle popping off his face in surprise. "HOW? HOW CAN…"
"Enough Oswald." Magozzi said. "You made your choice. Now fall silent."
Cobblepot's teeth nashed, and he made the bird-esque noises that he made when he was furious and couldn't control himself, but it was done, and so was he. Angrily, he shoved up from the table and walked away, though he did not leave. If he wasn't going to get to kill the superhero, he damn sure was going to see who did. Freedman drank in the fact he had outsmarted the famous Penguin: you were certainly blessed when you could fake a nervous tick.
Next hand was being dealt, the ante now raised to $20,000 and the two Blinds now 100 and 200 thousand. Magozzi and one of the unnamed crime lords bowed out, while the other unnamed raised a quarter of a million dollars and Freedman and Savior saw it.
Three cards went down: 2 of Hearts, 8 of Spades, 5 of Hearts.
"I'll raise 300 grand." Freedman said.
"I'll see that." Unnamed replied after a bit.
"I will too." Savior replied.
Forth card: 6 of Hearts.
"I raise to half a mill." Freedman said.
"I'll see that." Unnamed replied again.
Savior was silent. He was like that for nearly forty seconds.
"I'll check too." He finally said.
Final card: 10 of Clubs.
"Well gentlemen?" The dealer asked.
"I have a pair of 8's." The Unnamed crime boss said, turning over the 8 of Hearts and 3 of Diamonds.
"Heh, stupid fool, gonna take more then that to beat my straight." Freedman said, looking VERY pleased with himself as he revealed the 3 of Spades and 4 of Diamonds. "Watchoo got, whitey?"
"Well…my poker lexicon is a tad bit rusty, but I believe this is called…" Savior said, and held up his cards.
3 and 4 of hearts.
"Straight flush."
"BLEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPP!" Freedman yelled, as Savior collected his winnings. He glanced at Magozzi, whose expression had changed, just slightly, but changed.
Then again, this was just the warmup. The eliminations so far had come from foolishness and ego. This shot Savior had fired across the bow would be the wakeup call.
One that could very well put Savior in an eternal sleep.
"And there we have the annual decline and the reason behind it." A business man said as the plates for the starter meals at the Mathews residence were being cleared up. The light starter of melon quickly settled in most people's stomachs, which meant a slight pause when it came to feeding time at the chimp's tea party.
Nigel and Sophie had been conversing lightly together through some parts of the meal, as the rest of the conversation Nigel could not understand or it bored the pair, but the unfortunate part about it all was that the conversation had once again dropped and the guests didn't want to talk, just in case they were heard talking about something that wouldn't be a good thing for a superhero to overhear. Things hadn't started out too well when the alien needed help to figure out which one of the numerous amounts of knifes and forks to use for the first course, and the meal had been uneasy at best.
"That was quite nice, I have never before had melon in such a decorative fashion." Scalpel spoke up, trying to break the silence. Again, there was a brief but pregnant pause, suggesting uneasiness, before some of the businessmen nodded contentedly, looking around cautiously. He let out a sigh of relief: at least he wasn't being ignored.
"Yes, it was nice. I hope the main course is just as delicious." Sophie said as she smiled in his direction.
"Why? That not enough for a growing girl like you?" Tony laughed as he took a heavy sip of wine. The insult failed: After all the digs Tony had given his half sister about her supposed 'weight problem', she just ignored him. Sophie wasn't obese, nor does this writer have any problems with the larger side of life. An artist I know, and respect, weights more than the Big Show…but I digress. Sophie had a rounded figure, and despite what she might say about it Nigel liked her that way. It was too often that a superhero's girlfriend was five foot eight with long, golden hair with a large bust and curvy legs and thighs, while Sophie was relatively short, and had a curvier figure, with a few extra pounds here and there to make her soft. Nigel thought she was a welcome change from all the females on her world, who were practically all warriors and had bodies as hard as rock. However Tony loved to dig her about it, after all a lot of his merchandise was almost always advertised by smartly dressed men and half naked Brazilian super models that would probably be able to slide under a door. The only way to combat her brother, in her mind, was not to give him any ammunition. So she ignored him and took a sip of her water (She was driving and hence needed a clear head).
"Well... err... Mr. Scalpel, I was wondering if you could tell us about your work as a Titan." One of the richer businessmen asked, an executive named Mr. Ryan.
It seemed like an innocent enough question.
Operative word being SEEMED.
"Well our main ideal is that we are there to try and put bad people in jail, or at the very least to try and stop the public from getting hurt." Scalpel said. He smiled lightly as he interlaced his two talons and leaned on the table, before his girlfriend whispered into his ear that it was rude to lean on the table. He sheepishly drew back his elbows.
"I see, and does that include the people in the office buildings?" Ryan continued to question, taking the opportunity to look at the young man with a seemingly friendly, though penetrating stare. Scalpel made sure his hair had been pulled back in to the tight ponytail before he continued.
"That includes anyone in danger." He replied, still trying to sound friendly.
"Well you might want to recheck that memo, as in my experience it obviously, how shall I put this, doesn't? I remember several of my employees barging into my office in a blind panic because a Titan had been thrown through a window, causing a handful of my staff to be injured, and if that wasn't enough, in the office building next door a floor was on FIRE." Ryan stated, trying to make a point by sounding as if he was telling off one of his 'staff'. This, however, was lost on Scalpel.
"When was this?"
"A few months after you first showed up in Jump City."
Scalpel did the math and came up with the White Hole.
"That particular villain was highly dangerous: she was an incredibly well trained warrior and also, by your mental standards, quite sadistically insane, and it took a great deal of effort and personal sacrifice to take her down."
"Oh yes, we all watched while you seemingly just stood there while she picked apart the Titans so easily it seemed like we could do it. I mean, how bad could it have been? She was in a white suit for crying out loud, even if your suits are armored, surely…"
"Actually my suit isn't armored but that is a different matter."
"But we saw you, and in fact it was your colleagues who actually gave her the ammunition to deflect off into the other building." He continued.
"Well..."
"And we would respect it if you no longer used cars as ammo when all else seems to fail." Another man stated, this one was the CEO of an insurance company named Mr. Mallard. "Insurance pay outs are sky rocketing because you, and your metal friend, and your friend with the white ropes seem fond of throwing vehicles at anything that comes your way, and it doesn't seem to matter about what the creature is, it just seems your only tactic is to batter it to death with something."
"It is NOT THAT SIMPLE." Scalpel said. "Fighting these people and creatures is not like solving math problems. I would love to talk to these villains and try and prevent them from doing anything, however, sometimes, actually a lot of times, they will not listen." Scalpel said: He was starting to struggle; he wasn't cut out for being bombarded with questions like these, the kind where the answer didn't matter because the questioners had already made up their mind.
"What was that particular one you liked to throw cars at? Oh yes, the large monster creature that your pop girl..."
"Goth girl." Corrected someone else.
"...Goth girl threw cars at, only to freeze when it grabbed her." Mr Mallard finished. Scalpel recognized what he was talking about this creature: it was the poor soul known as Vanity.
"The armor on that creature was almost impossible to penetrate, so we needed to find a way to..."
While the so called high and mighty of society yakked the night away, the high and mighty of another society continued to play.
The game had been reduced to four: the unnamed crime lord who had tried to bluff with a pair of 8's had tried to bluff again several hands later by going all in. He had three 8's this time. Unfortunately, Savior had three Aces. With him gone, the game had heated up even more, as Savior and Freedman sniped at each other, winning and losing chips back and forth, the pimp seemingly having taken a special dislike to Savior, perhaps some kind of reverse racism thing. Magozzi and the other unnamed played quietly, but Savior knew that was just the calm before the storm.
In the end, Freedman was coming out on top, having about seven million in chips to Savior's 2.6, when Magozzi made his move.
The elderly man never spoke his wagers: he just moved the appropriate amount of chips. And this case, it was a million in them. Unnamed dropped out immediately: Savior thought it over and eventually did likewise.
"Please. You call that a raise? I raise THREE million." Freedman said, grinning widely (no, he did not have any gold teeth, in case you were wondering).
Magozzi didn't blink. He just immediately added more chips to his wager to show he was going to match it.
Three cards dealt: 7 of Hearts, King of Spades, King of Diamonds.
Magozzi did not hesitate: he moved the rest of his chips forward.
"All in man? Ok, I can see that." Freedman said, as he saw two great possibilities for advancement: killing a superhero and defeating Magozzi. Not many people had ever outplayed the old man, but those who did were recognized for the skills they possessed, and in this world, reputation, whether real or manufactured, counted for everything. In any case, Freedman added all his chips to match the bet.
Forth card: 7 of Clubs.
Magozzi tapped the table to indicate he checked: Freedman did likewise.
The river card: King of Hearts.
"Check it out: Three sevens!" Freedman said as he threw his cards down: one was 7 of Diamonds.
Magozzi simply, and calmly turned one of his cards over: the King of Clubs. Four Kings.
"BLEEP!" Freedman cursed. "I CAN'T…believe it…bleep! Well, good job old man." Freedman said, knowing the cost of disrespecting Leopold Magozzi but unable to prevent himself from getting in a needle anyway. He stood up and swaggered over to a drink table the lackies had set up: apparently he wasn't going anywhere either.
Savior looked at Magozzi, knowing what that play had been: a direct challenge. And he wasn't really surprised.
It was time for a crossroads, to see if Savior could back up his ambitions with his skills.
Life had done that to him before.
The bad part was, Savior had often overestimated himself.
It had been nearly twenty minutes, and Terra was getting immensely impatient, and a tad bit suspicious that something was going on here that she wasn't privy to. Not knowing what else to do, she pulled out her communicator and dialed Beast Boy.
He answered, red face and panting.
"Beast B…Terra!"
"Beast Boy, what's going on? Was there a fight?" Terra said, alarmed that Beast Boy looked so worn out from a simple task like getting hot chocolate.
"Oh, um, yeah! There's a huge line here! You won't believe how popular the hot chocolate is! Some people actually got into a fight over it! I had to break it up, but I lost my place, but don't worry, I should be at the front soon so just stay there and I'll be back oh dear line's moving gotta go!" Beast Boy said as he turned off the communicator.
Terra stared at it.
"Ah man, whatever did I do?" Beast Boy gasped as he ran along. Store after store, no Supreme Destructor (though he'd managed to find a Savior and Raven bundled set of action figures, which would have struck Beast Boy as cute if he hadn't seen it as proof that life was screwing with him by giving him every Titan action figure except the one that was wanted, a Gauntlet one). By now, Beast Boy's hunt had broken down to a mindless series of opening doors, asking, being rejected, and running out and finding a new store.
"Do you have Supreme Destructor?"
"Been sold out for…"
"Do you have Supreme Destructor?"
"No, what are you nuts…"
"Do you have Supreme Destructor?"
"No, have you changed your mind about the doll?'
"Argh! Do you have Supreme Destructor?"
"This is a china shop Mr. Beast Boy."
"Do you have Supreme Destructor?"
"No, but we have a Darling Donna!"
"DAMMIT I WANT SUPREME DESTRUCTOR!" Beast Boy yelled as he ran out the door…and stopped. "No, wait, I want Darling Donna too! Wait wait!" Beast Boy yelled as he ran back in…and found the Darling Donna being sold to another man who looked like he'd won the lottery.
"Sorry kid, you snooze, you lose." The clerk said. Beast Boy covered his face and groaned.
"How could this night get any worse…" Beast Boy said as he turned, leaving out the door as he continued to groan into his hands…
And found Terra standing there, her arms crossed.
"……Eek." Beast Boy said.
Terra cocked her head, saying nothing.
"Terra! Fancy meeting you here! You see, it, uh, turns out the hot chocolate was so special that I had to go on a quest to earn it, yeah see I had to go to the end of the world and climb the tallest mountain, so I could squeeze the sun into a Jell-O mold, and then…"
"You were blowing off our date to try and find a copy of a video game." Terra said, her voice cross. "In this world where you and I could be dead tomorrow you were giving away precious time we have together so you can go hunt for a video game that will probably be in plentiful stock on Boxing Day! You gave me up for a game! Well, I have one thing to say to you Mr. Garfield Logan…!"
And then the snowball Terra had been hiding in the crook of her arm smacked into Beast Boy's face.
"Punk'd!" Terra laughed.
Beast Boy was so stunned by this sudden shift that he was wide open for Terra's next snowball, and then he recovered, his eyes finally opened: yeah, hunting for a rare toy might have been part of Christmas…but it was the bad part. Cyborg would understand, one way or the other…so why worry?
And so the great Supreme Destructor quest came to an end as Beast Boy chased after Terra, as the two threw snowballs at each other and forgot all about the many boxes under the tree.
And from a happy couple to a not so happy couple, as Scalpel continued to be grilled relentlessly
"How many people have you killed?" Another guest suddenly asked, throwing Scalpel off his tracks.
"I've never killed anyone!"
"Well, you seem to fight all these villains, seemingly to arrest them, yet you seem to put a lot more in a grave than in a prison." Said the accuser. The Table's occupants started to nod slowly.
"I try not to do such a thing. Many of these villains find themselves trapped in dooms of their own making."
"Really? I mean, you killed an innocent in the whole Light City thing." Mr. Ryan continued, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket before wiping his nose and placing it back in the distended pocket on his gut line. Nigel physically tensed, his hands balling into jagged fists. He knew whom he meant: Toby Garigen, the poor bastard who had been a suspect in the Cauterize murders. In the end, the real Cauterize used Toby as a pawn in an attempt to fake his own death, a fakery that almost succeeded, but the set up for the fakery had made it look like Scalpel had caused the death, and hence looked like it caused the death of Toby. In the end, Scalpel was blameless…but of course, the truth didn't so much matter as the perception of it did.
"That was not my fault."
"And doesn't your blood turn into fire when it comes into contact with, well, most things?" A graying black man asked, the years digging deep into his face as his cheeks sagged a little, dragging his mouth down. It was now official; he was being ganged up upon.
"I cannot help what biology has made my blood like…"
"I think that is enough questions." Sophie stated.
"Come off it sis, we need to know these things. Just think, if you marry this... man, then you'll be marrying a monster into the family." Tony piped up, taking great enjoyment out of aggravating his only sister.
"Now there is a nice thought." Her mother continued on, smiling a wicked smile as if Scalpel wasn't even there.
"Hey, that isn't fair…." Sophie tried to state, only to be cut off.
"Don't you realize how dangerous he is? I mean, just kissing him would probably result in you getting injured." Her mother went on, with her father nodding.
"I mean, that thing attacked me! What's to say he won't attack you?" Tony continued, once again referring to his nose.
"I wouldn't do such a thing!" Nigel protested, but was once again ignored.
"I know that you like him, and it's understandable because he's a so called "hero". But he attracts trouble, and you aren't an action person. What happens when something happens and none of them are there to protect you?" Her father said, and then shook his head. "I don't want you to be yet another victim of one of the next Final Night, Last Wish or End of Metal screw up."
(While most of you will have heard of the Final Night, where the Lord of the Night came into immense power and raised hell (and if you hadn't, you shouldn't be reading this), the other two mentioned events are more difficult to explain, as at the point in this timeline they have happened, but in the stories they are part of they haven't yet been written. I will try and explain them without giving away anything. The Last Wish was when a teenager called Whim appeared and caused even more trouble then the Lord, and the End Of Metal, or End of Days, was when a creature called the Sorceress showed up and caused even MORE trouble then the Lord and Whim. These are to be featured in the stories Wings of the Eagles and Flashing Lights and Sounds.)
And the mentioning of these events finally made made Scalpel snap on the inside. Screw up? SCREW UP? How DARE they blame the Titans for those events, events that no one could have try and control? Against such omnipotent unbelievable power, power the Titans had somehow survived not once, not twice, but three times, how could they do anything more than what they did? For crying out loud, Whim had thrashed the entire JUSTICE LEAGUE, and only a last minute miracle had stopped the Sorceress from reducing the world to fine powder…
But it wasn't Scalpel who snapped on the outside, but Sophie. Her kindly, shy attitude had taken enough of a beating. She would gladly take the insults aimed at her, but not the ones aimed at the Titans and her Boyfriend.
"You have NO CLUE!" She suddenly stood up and shouted, slamming her palms on the table edge, making most of the guests stand back.
"Young lady, I don't like your tone." Her mother started again, trying to glare Sophie back into her seat. But it wasn't going to work this time: this had gone too far.
"I could give a damn if you liked it or not to be brutally honest! You have done NOTHING but insult Scalpel and myself since we came here! We came here to make up and try to make appeasements, but obviously it was a lost cause from the beginning!" She yelled, aiming the last one directly at her mother, who had finally realized that the soft child she had tried to break had turned around and blown up in her own face, something she had never pictured happening, and when her breed thought something was absolute, having it broken was much like…a child seeing Santa Claud. Panic started to fill her as she quickly rushed for her cigarettes.
"Now, you can't talk to her like that!" Tony yelled, standing up, albeit a little unsteady from the wine he had drunk mixing with the whisky from earlier.
"Who said you could talk to me? Who said you could talk to me at all, the way you do?! I've had enough! You've really pissed me off! So guess what! I got your nose!" Sophie yelled, and then she reached forward and grabbed her brother's nose between her index and middle finger, twisting violently. A sickening crack came from it as he recoiled, holding it as blood started to gush out.
"And that is JUST for breaking into my home and stealing the deed to the funeral parlor!" Sophie yelled, and then shoved Tony backwards. He staggered back into his seat, trying to stop the flow. "Looks like the 'fat bleep' can do something after all!"
"Wow." Scalpel just sat there while his girlfriend started to kick arse. Though as you might have noticed, the censor was still in effect.
"You should all be ASHAMED! I mean, how can YOU sit there and force judgment on the only person in this room who tried with all his heart to do the right thing when the right thing is so elusive and arduous in this world, while you sit in your high towers, bark orders and get fat and wealthy while your employees work their lives away hoping to get enough money to afford to give their girlfriend a wedding ring or to put the final deposit on a house!"
"Now you can stop that RIGHT now!" Her father bellowed as he started to stand.
"No! HELL no! I'm not stopping till I have said my piece! I can sit here and take insults all night! They're just words, I can endure them! But you are talking about a man who has put his life on the line more times than I count! I have seen the scars! I saw the state he was in the first time I met him! He was a wreck! And why?! Because he was protecting YOU! ALL! OF! YOU!" She dragged her finger around the room, pointing at each of the businessmen/women in turn. "Do you really want to know what the Final Night would have been like if the Titans were not there? Because if they hadn't, chances are none of you would be here today! The Lord planned genocide for every human who wouldn't fit in his ideal world, and guess what! NONE OF YOU would fit in his world! You're still here because of what the Titans did to stop him!" She was now officially seething. "Too much for your brains? Stupid CEOs, all right let us try this. Who remembers Jack Djinn?"
A few people looked around, not really recognizing the name.
"You know, Australian psychopath, likes to strangle women? Well, if the Titans hadn't stopped him he might have gone exploring, and ended up in your homes, and strangled someone you know! A pretty rich 'Birdie' like your wives and daughters!"
"Shut the hell up!"
"Screw that! You would just be a smear on the carpet if they hadn't stopped some of the villains they have come across! You owe them your lies ten times over! What about the White Hole, the one that wrecked your buildings? What if she wanted to come after you for FUN?! You think you can buy off a superstrong, crazy alien? I don't think so! You wouldn't stand a chance! No, the Titans put their lives on the line for you! Why? Because you are part of the public! Because they will try to stop anything from happening to you sorry bastards! Hell, while you all sit up in your office trying to gain more money on Christmas, the Titans are probably still working, still trying to help! After all, they are human too! A lot more human then any of you will ever, or COULD EVER, HOPE TO BE!"
And with that she got off of her soapbox and sat down calmly, her anger now completely spent, leaving anything with a brain somewhat shocked at the sudden attitude change.
"You done?" Nigel asked lightly.
"I think so." She replied softly.
"I don't think I've ever seen you like this..."
"Oh?"
"Yes, it's kind of nice to see you like this for a change."
"Really?"
"Now LOOK HERE!" The men started to bellow as they tried, vainly, to get up from their seats to complain at the outburst from Sophie and refute her points. This time, however, Scalpel decided he had suffered through this enough. Like he said before, some people will only listen to action and not words, and so he grabbed the edge of the table and smiled.
"Hey, watch this! I have a grudge against more then cars!" He yelled, and then he lifted the large, heavy table up and flipped it over, much to the surprise of the guests as gathered by their shrieks of the other side of the table, as he lifted it up on to its side before dropping it, cutlery and all, onto the other guests. As the table crashed back down, Scalpel smiled broadly and grabbed Sophie's hand, and the pair ran out of the room.
And suddenly stopped.
"This way! If we can't have Christmas dinner here, then we shouldn't leave empty handed!" Sophie said, as she directed Scalpel towards the kitchen, pulling his dulled clawed hands. When they got there, they saw a whole load of chefs and maids sorting things out. The pair strode in and the hive of activity that was happening seemed to come to a stop with a gasp of breath and the crashing of one of the plates.
"I'm sorry to interrupt, but we'll be needing something." Nigel stated, not sure what Sophie was planning, before she walked over to the Christmas turkey. The very large Christmas turkey. The twice the size of Beast Boy already cooked Christmas turkey.
"Oh? What is it that you require master Scalpel?" The butler that had shown them in asked as he confronted them. Well confronted might be a very loose term as that indicated he was ready to fight and he wouldn't have been able to win this fight if there were twenty of him and Scalpel had his arms tied behind, was hopping on one foot, and was blindfolded.
"Just this Mr. Patterson." Sophie called to the butler, as she stole the large bird and (very) quickly to Scalpel because of the size and weight. "Oh, by any chance none of you know if my parents or brother are hoarding any gifts?" She asked plainly.
"Well, Young Master Anthony did say he had given himself a very nice Christmas bonus and it was locked up in the safe…"
"Perfect!" Sophie said, throwing out her arm at him to emphasize her realization. "Thank you! And merry Christmas!"
The two rushed off, with turkey in tow.
As soon as the Mathews managed to dig themselves out of the dining room they looked around to see what had been taken. One turkey, a lot of rather ill gotten cash, and most of Sophie's clothing, alongside the small gifts Sophie had received from her family. As the two hopped into the car and drove off, Tony stood by the window, watching. Sneering, his visage once again in a facial harness for protecting his broken nose, and his money gone because Sophie knew the code to the safe, hence there was no evidence of tampering and no one could be charged...
Once again, Anthony Walter Mathews only had one thing to say.
"Bleep."
Robin, meanwhile, had been eliminated early from a game of Monopoly, and since it was still going fierce, he had decided to do something he hadn't done for a while: CHECK HIS EMAIL!
And since it was Christmas Eve, he was actually answering them all, despite the fact that the general intelligence level of the e-mails hadn't increased all that much.
"Dear Robin, I'm having trouble with the things that go up and down on Level 7. Can you help me?" Robin read. He stared in confusion for a bit, and then checked the email to make sure he hadn't missed any detail. Nope, that was it. Robin thought about it for a bit, and then stretched his fingers.
"Ok kid, this one's a snap!" He spoke out loud as he typed. "When you begin the level, extend your tentacles off the top of the screen, you should grab the Mystic Wave Machine, which pulls you up to reach the Seven Golden Nuts. This allows you to easily charge up the Panic Feather, which you should have gotten from Terror Bird in Level 4. Next, slaughter the Pig of Yog-Soggath, then make sure the Pork Belly is attached to your third hard point. This allows you to summon a spirit from the William Morrison company, which will get you…"
And that was as far as Robin got, as Sophie suddenly walked into the room.
"Sophie!" He said.
"You're back early." Raven said, looking up from the money she was counting to see if she had enough to put a hotel on Park Place.
"Oh no, it went badly, didn't it?" Cyborg said.
"You might say that." Sophie replied, her roaring phase of a woman quite done, and she rather preferred it that way. "In any case, we decided that some things are better done elsewhere, and to make sure you'll have us, I have a small Christmas present for you."
And Scalpel walked into the room, carrying the gigantic turkey from the Mathews' party above his head.
"BOOYAH ROB!" He yelled.
"Aw man…" Cyborg groaned as he leaned back. The six Titans had gorged themselves on the turkey, and when Terra and Beast Boy had arrived back home Terra had done her best to help (Beast Boy just made himself a tofu something or other), but there was still a gigantic amount of meat left.
"Ohhhhhhhh…we're gonna have leftovers for WEEKS." Terra said as she wiped her mouth with a napkin: Robin and her had managed to make some simple potatoes and gravy to go along with the turkey.
"Sounds good to me." Scalpel said.
"It would." Cyborg said.
"Man, if Starfire were back she could help make a dent in this. Where is she anyway?" Gauntlet asked.
"ON THRASHER! ON BLITZKRIEG! MOVE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The Evil Robot Santa screamed as he flew through the air, as Starfire chased him, firing Starbolts.
"EVIL PERVERSION! DISGUSTING DEVIANCE! I don't know how I got here, but I'm not going home until I reduce YOU TO SCRAP!" Starfire yelled, and resumed her assault.
"STOP! YOU'RE BEING VERY NAUGHTY!"
"NAUGHTY THIS!!!!!!!!!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
The fleeing robot, his weapons exhausted in the face of the furious alien, flew past a greenish blue spaceship, whose one eye captain watched in some shock.
"Why does everyone but ME get the cool alien powers?" Leela sighed.
"Well, wherever she is, she'll turn up before next morning. She's wandered off before." Robin said, not bothering to mention that the reason Starfire had always wandered off was because no one had ever told her the truth about Santa Claus.
The Titans cleaned up, and the group of eight of them played some more games that went on into the night. Before they knew it, it was nearly midnight.
"Ok Titans…" Robin said, yawning. "We'd better turn in…Cyborg, make sure you set the security system so it won't attack Kory or Noel…"
"Noel!" Beast Boy said. "I forgot all about him! Where the heck did he go?"
"You have a point. All the shoppers and people should be asleep by now." Robin said, as he opened his communicator. "Hmmmmmm…strange. The communicator has been deactivated but not turned off entirely. I can still read him, but I can't call him."
"Probably perched on a church doing his best impression of a gargoyle." Gauntlet joked. "But seriously…when one Titan has wandered off and we don't know what has happened…we ask his girlfriend: what's the scoop Rae?" Gauntlet said, whirling towards the goth.
"………..He's ok. I can feel it." Raven replied.
"Then where is he?"
"Finding his own meaning of Christmas."
And so it had come to this.
After several hours of playing, the second unnamed crime figure had finally been defeated, and he bowed out to leave Savior and Magozzi. With the final two down, the dealer brought out a new pack of cards, the latest of several, another safeguard against cheating, and began shuffling them as a few goons came in from outside (most of them glaring at Savior) and began moving all the money on the table into one bag.
"I am not surprised it has come to this." Magozzi said, as he looked over his pile of chips: he had about fifteen million, while Savior had around 7.4. "Not every child would come in here, bet his life with no trickery to keep it, and then play so well. How this will end…a shame." Magozzi said.
Savior said nothing. Neither did the defeated crime lords, who had finally realized how well they had been manipulated. Magozzi had been very crafty with his interest in Savior's prize, and they knew why: when Magozzi won (and when he truly wanted to, no one had ever defeated Leopold Magozzi), he would not be killing Savior himself. No, he had no need. But his final son did. Savior was a prize for him When Savior died at his hand, Magozzi would both finally give his son the reputation he needed and give the son the kick in the ass he needed to survive in this world: if he didn't step up after something like killing a superhero, he would quickly be eaten alive.
Whether Savior knew this, he gave no sign, as he opened up in the final round with a large, 2 million dollar raise…and lost. Near the back, Cobblepot chuckled. There might have been some inklings of the Bat in the kid, but there was still far too much kid: he had gotten near the home stretch and had started to sprint prematurely. And Oswald knew from personal experience that premature sprinters often fell on their faces.
Savior tried not to show anything, but while he could muster a fair poker face, he apparently didn't have the endurance to keep it up, as in the next three hands he won one and lost two, costing himself another $700,000 in chips. Magozzi showed nothing, and unlike Savior, he did it perfectly, as the dealer dealt another hand, By now, the ante's had increased to half a million: if Savior didn't do something quickly, he would soon be broke.
"I am not as young as I used to be." Magozzi suddenly said. "In the old days I would gladly play this game all night. But now…I do not have the patience…so…" Magozzi said, and calmly pushed all his chips in front of him.
A slight murmur came from the younger members of the crowd, as Savior stared at the move. He has less then four million left: with the larger amount Magozzi had he could quickly bleed him dry, and he probably wouldn't be making another move like this if Savior backed down.
Yet…it could make it his last hand…
There was silence for nearly two minutes.
And then Savior shoved all his chips forward. Matched.
The dealer asked Savior if he wanted to change any of the cards in his hand. Savior shook his head. The dealer glanced at Magozzi…who said it all with nothing: he too would not change his cards.
It was down to this hand.
"Please." Magozzi said, asking Savior to show his hand.
"Oh no, the leader should be allowed to go first." Savior replied.
"If you wish." Magozzi said, and laid his hand down.
Two tens…and three kings. A full house.
Every eye on Savior.
Who just stared.
And stared.
And stared.
And then he sighed deeply, in the way of a broken, beaten man.
"I have…a pair of 10's." Savior said, dropping the cards on the table.
Though he showed nothing, Savior could feel it coming off Magozzi: the smug sense of victory, of another challenger who had overestimated himself and found himself tossed to the wind, of the world being right as victory for him was the way the world should be.
In that moment, Magozzi was so much like his father.
Which gave Savior the most satisfaction as his defeated gaze flowed into a visage as cold and jagged as the cruelest winter night.
"And ANOTHER pair of 10's." Savior said, tossing his other cards on the table, letting his last, worthless card, the Jack of Hearts, float to the ground. It didn't matter.
DEAD silence.
Six tens on the table.
The two last warriors staring at each other.
Savior had four of a kind, which beat a full house…because there were six tens on the table.
There were four tens in a deck.
Six tens on the table…
And in the end…it was Magozzi's poker face that slipped first…
"How…did you…" He said, his calm tone finally showing an inkling of emotion, of anger, a terrible anger that had destroyed many, but didn't even faze Savior as his own face was etched with rage, and it was the rage of the righteous.
"You tell ME." He said.
Once again, silence.
"…………………………………………Take the money." Magozzi finally said.
"But sir…" One of the minions said.
"Take it. Be silent." Magozzi hissed.
"Hey, wait a bleep'n minute, what the bleep is going on? I bleep'n mean, bleep!" Freedman suddenly yelled.
"Yes…what is this strangeness Magozzi?" Cobblepot asked. The camaraderie in the room was starting to implode on itself.
As Savior stood up and snapped off the collar. The Shimmer quickly retrieved his clothes, putting them on within a few seconds, as one final strand brought Savior the bag filled with cash.
He tossed the power blocker down on the table.
"Merry Christmas." He said, with complete and total sweetness.
And then he was gone.
Several blocks later, Savior set himself down on a roof. With one ear poised to see if he heard gunshots, he carefully reached down into his guts with the Shimmer and retrieved the bomb, pulling it out and deactivating it. Once done, he tucked it into his pocket. No gunshots had started, but Savior was pretty sure a very nasty argument was either brewing or starting, as groups of men realized that their lifestyle always reigned.
Or so it seemed.
As Noel began to giggle.
Then to chuckle.
Then to laugh.
And then he began to howl, leaning over and roaring with mirth, just an inch away from sounding not like Batman but the Joker, as he tucked a hand into his hair and continued laughing.
"Ohhhhhhhhhh…what a day." He said. "A game virtually set in stone, and then suddenly I show up and reveal the wizard behind the curtain…or so they'll always think…because after all…I went to all the trouble of showing my honesty…so no one will ever suspect I cheated…" Savior snorted, and then looked at an empty space. "Right, Bart?"
And then a blur solidified, revealing an older teen in a yellow costume with red hair and lightning bolt extensions from his head, as Kid Flash appeared, looking immensely amused as well.
"Thought of it on the spot. That's usually where the most brilliant ideas come from." Kid Flash said, and then he let loose with his own laugh. "After all, why steal from the thieves when you can also remind them there's no honor among them?"
"I just hope…we haven't started a gang war…" Savior laughed.
"Oh no…they're scattered all over the States…no territory to fight over…but I think…there won't be any Christmas poker games…for a while…!" Flash laughed himself.
"Ohhhhhhh…nothing like screwing over the underworld and having their own prejudices about us convince them that we're innocent. Oh man…you should have seen the look on Magozzi's face…it took everything I had not to start braying right then and there when you swapped two of my cards with tens…too bad none of them had any idea what a Speed Force user can do…oh Bart…this was marvelous…just bloody marvelous…" Savior said, wiping the tears from his eyes. "You want some of this money? You earned it?"
"Yeah, I think I can find some places that need a few extra bucks." Kid Flash said. "But thanks to you too Noel. Christmas Eve makes it hard enough to sleep, but when you're a Speed Force user, it's infinitely worse. Running around that poker game so that no one would even know I was there…that takes effort…I'm worn out. Just going to drop off the money and then I can sleep like a baby. See you around. Merry Christmas."
"Yeah, you too. Merry Christmas." Savior said, and the next second the teenage speedster was gone. His bag was a little lighter, but not by much, and Noel, feeling better then he had for the past two weeks, slung the bag over his shoulder and went off on his final mission.
Have yourself a merry little ChristmasLet your heart be light…
From now on
Your troubles will be out of sight…A bleary eyed man finally opened the door from the incessant knocking: he found nothing but a large pile of cash on his doorstep. He paused, blinked, and then leaned down to look at it. He quickly discovered it was real.
"……Heh. Thanks Titans." He said, and quickly gathered up the money and went back into the orphanage.
Make the Yuletide Gay
From now on
Your troubles will be miles away…The scene repeated itself all around Jump City with homeless shelters, shelters for wayward kids, drug and alcohol recover centers, and the two main Jump City hospitals.
Here we are as in olden days, happy golden days, of yore…A very tired truck driver pulled into the back of one of Jump City's larger toy stores, amazed he had made it without dozing off behind the wheel. Well, he could take his time getting back, and he was getting paid well for this, unlike some of his buddies who had asshole bosses who didn't understand some things about this time of the year. Well, he was lucky to not have one of those, and he was probably going to make some very desperate parents happy the next morning as they tried to make a final stab at finding one of the IT toys, as he had a few of the IT toys.
"Morning." Said the security guard who came to let him unload.
"Is it?" The truck driver said, already picturing the many hours of sleep he was going to get when he was done unloading this…
And wondering if it was said lack of sleep that made him see what he saw when he turned around and saw two toys being raised into the air on a string.
"Whu? Hey!"
Another string came down, bearing several crumpled bills that added up to considerably more then the toys were worth.
The truck driver looked at the money for a moment, and then, a bit confused, he took it, and the string retracted and disappeared. He, and the security guard, stared as a dark figure ran off into the snowy night.
"…………Well, I guess you bought yourself a few action figures." The security guard said.
"Yes…I guess so."
Faithful friends who were dear to us, gather near to us, once more…It wasn't hard to find: he'd taken a peek at the records when he had visited both the hospitals. The door wasn't hard to crack either, not when you had a tool that could form any kind of key.
Through the years we all will be together
If the Fates allow
In one room, in which a young woman slept fitfully, was left a plate with all the money that was left. Which was a considerable amount.
And in another room, a young girl who slept more peacefully, holding a white jacket around her like it could protect her from anything…
Hang a shining star across the highest bow…As her arm was gently, ever so gently, lifted up, and a Savior action figure was slipped under it.
And have yourself…a merry little Christmas…now…The girl stirred, and deep in sleep, she thought she might have heard reindeer.
It was nearly 3 in the morning when Savior swung back to the Tower: his exhaustion was about ready to catch up to him. But all he had to do was wrap one last present, and the wrapping paper was in the living room.
Only the lights of the tree and the embers of the fire lit the room when Savior stepped in (and considering how large the tree was, that was a fair amount of light), as Savior headed into the room to get some wrapping paper.
He barely noticed it, but he did, as a slight movement from the couch near the fireplace caught his attention. His eyebrow arched, and he walked around to find Starfire sitting on the couch, her legs up and under a blanket. In front of her were some odd colored cookies and milk, and she had been staring intently at the fire until Savior had walked in front of her.
"Noel." She said. "How strange I beat you home…I could have sworn…well…no matter…"
"Kory? What are you still doing…up…" Savior said, looking around and finding the answer to his own question.
"He is truly elusive." Starfire said, his voice slightly slurred. But this wasn't alcohol that slurred it, it was the slur of someone who is fighting a losing battle with the Sandman. "But I am most persistent. If I cannot locate him, I will wait until he comes to me…though I must admit he must have started on the other side of the world tonight…"
Savior looked around and sighed. Well, after what he had pulled with the poker game, he guess he had to do something to pay back the karma, or the naughty/nice scale, or something.
"Star…" Savior said, as he pulled up a chair. "I think…there's something…you need…"
"I know he does not exist." Starfire said plainly.
Savior blinked.
"At least…not in a practical way. I know there isn't an overweight man out in the middle of arctic wastes making toys with midgets brought to us by aerodynamic Canadian steer…but I do not care about the reality Noel. I care about the belief. I've seen what our belief can do, how it has accomplished the impossible and brought victory from certain defeat. It's so…marvelous…and since we, a small group, could do all that…I wanted to see…what so many people…believing…together…could make…I think…it would be…so…wonderful…" Starfire said. "Noel…I'm thirsty…could you get me…some water…"
"……..Sure Kory. Sure." Savior said, and got up.
He knew what he would find when he had returned: Starfire asleep, her wistful dreams finally won over by the needs of her body. Savior smiled slightly, and then adjusted Starfire's body on the couch and placed the blanket fully over her. He drank her water and retrieved his wrapping paper, and left the room.
He was about seventeen steps out of said room when he stopped.
He could swear he heard something…very faint…but there…
Putting down the paper, Savior slowly moved around, listening…listening to…bells?
"Ho ho ho!"
Savior sprinted all the way back to the living room and leapt in, fists cocked…
Nothing.
He stopped in mid-air, something avoiding making any noise to wake up Starfire.
The room was empty. Nothing had changed. Slowly, Savior lowered himself down to the ground. His lack of sleep and all he had done today must have made him hear stuff. There was no way…
Then his eyes noticed something. Again.
Savior slowly walked back over to the fireplace…looking down on the embers…the embers that had been…disturbed…like someone had…walked on them.
Savior blinked.
Then he turned around.
And saw the cookies and milk were gone.
And also saw Starfire again, sleeping on the couch, a happy contented smile on her face…and a Darling Donna doll in her arms.
Savior blinked again.
And then he couldn't help himself, as he shifted and looked up the chimney.
Nothing but darkness.
"………………..NAHHHHHHHHHH." Savior said, and left the room.
Christmas Morning
"THANK YOU TIM!!!!!!!!!!!" Kory cried as she crushed Tim in a hug and then, rather violently, placed her mouth on his. "I do not know how you found it, but thank you!"
Tim, looking over her shoulder, made a gesture that asked "Which one of you got the Darling Donna"? When all of them made gestures back that it wasn't them, Tim's confusion only increased.
"Well then…with that said…DIVE DIVE!" Gar said, and the more rowdy Titans attacked their presents, while the more reserved Titans (and Sophie) tried to stay out of the way. Noel and Raven were still absent, but Tim expected them to show up at any time as the Titans ripped open colored paper and gifts and enjoyed what they found…
With a few exceptions.
"I'm sorry Vic." Beast Boy said when Victor discovered that he was out of presents. "I tried, we all did, but there was no Supreme Destructor."
"Hey man, I know. It's ok. I understand that there were no copies left. After all, I was trying to get the game for you." Victor said.
Silence.
And then Gar Logan's jaw hit the ground.
"WHU-WHU-WHAT?"
Tara cracked up, and most of the other Titans chuckled too, and then it was back to attacking the presents.
"Hey!" Rob said, when it was all done, and he found the Titans had all lined up their personal action figures and that he didn't have one to line up. "What gives?"
"Sorry man. We looked everywhere. I guess this means you're the most popular Titan." Gar said.
"Great. Just another reason for me to resign." Came a voice from the doorway.
"Noel! You came back!" Nigel said, as Noel and Raven entered the room. It was pretty strange to see them in night clothes, and Noel's tight, professional looking bathrobe actually made him look a bit like Hugh Hefner.
"Well, yes. There's no place like home for the holidays." Noel said. "Um, I noticed something strange, must have slipped my mind…but I found a couple of gifts I must have…lost." Savior said, as he pulled two wrapped packages from behind him and handed them to Victor and Rob.
Gar's eyes went wide.
"Don't tell me…"
"SUPREME DESTRUCTOR!" Victor whooped, and did a little dance with the game over his head, while all the other Titans looked at Noel with a stupefied expression.
"Noel…how in the heck did YOU get a copy of that?" Gar asked.
"Simple. I bought it back in September."
Nigel facevaulted.
"My own action figure! Noel, you shouldn't have!" Rob said, and then he actually hugged Noel.
"If you don't stop touching me, I'm really going to wish I shouldn't have." Noel said.
"Right right, well uh, I kind of accidentally opened up one of your presents…" Rob said, glancing at where the Noel and Raven action figures were. "So here, you can open one of mine."
"Oh yeah, that reminds me. Here Victor." Noel said, as he reached into his bathrobe and handed Victor the envelope.
"What's this?"
"Oh you'll find out." Noel said, and then Rob giving him the gift distracted him. He unwrapped it quickly and neatly. His eyebrow arched.
"It's an action figure…of me…someone was giving you another action figure…of me…ok…" Noel said, not really sure what that meant. "Well…thanks I guess…" He said, while Victor finally pulled out what was in the envelope, a photo of some kind…and then his eyes nearly bugged out of his head.
"HOLY….!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"What is it…YIIIIIIEEEEEEE!" Gar said when he looked over and saw it.
"What, is it a murder? What could…Oh my." Tim said as he took a look. Nigel wandered over to take a look himself.
"………Are those kinds of swimsuits LEGAL?" He finally said.
Not really caring what Jinx had given Victor, or what state she was in in said gift, he turned slightly…and found some mistletoe floating in front of him via black power. At it floated up, Raven stood up on her toes and gave Noel the only Christmas present he ever really wanted.
"And that's step 1." She said.
Noel looked a bit stunned.
"Well, merry Christmas indeed…"
"You know, I would say something now, but I am worried I would offend any atheist readers." Kory said.
"Kory…it's Christmas. Screw 'em." Raven said.
"Very well! God bless us, every one!"
And as the men ogled the pic and their respective females tried to pull them away from it, we pan away from the Titans and out the window and up across the snow covered Jump City…
Have a holly jolly Christmas…And in case you didn't hear…
Oh by golly have a holly jolly Christmas…this year…SNAP!
"DAMNIT ROB THIS ACTION FIGURE IS A BOOTLEG!"
The End