A Different Kind of Yes (Working Title)

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls or its characters.

Pairings: Literati

A/N: This story picks up in "Last Week Fights, This Week Tights." You will recognize the dialogue that isn't mine, but everything else is mine (with the exception of Gilmore Girls and the characters and whatnot, but you know that from the disclaimer).

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Rory asks Dean something, but then the door to the dorm opens, and she turns her head to see Jess walk in. Immediately, her heart starts pounding out of her head, but she takes a deep breath and tries to remain calm.

"What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk you," Jess said. His eyes search her face. She looks surprised and confused to see him.

"Jess…" Dean says, with a sharp tone to his voice, one he uses only when he is talking to or about Jess.

"I need to talk to you." Jess says it with more urgency this time. His eyes plead with Rory.

"What's going on?" Dean asks. Rory continues to watch Jess as she asks him her own question.

"What are you doing here?"

"Rory, please," Jess says. Feeling even more desperate because of Dean's presence, he begs her now not only with his eyes, but also with his voice.

"Rory?" Dean's voice holds a question about what Rory wants him to do. In Jess's mind, this is a punch to his gut because Dean speaks with Rory's full trust. Not that Jess deserves her trust, but it hurts him that Dean has it, and he does not. Rory speaks again, but this time, she is talking to Dean.

"Go. Go home." Jess recognizes Dean's defiant stance but says nothing.

"No."

"Yes, go. You should go," Rory says. She tries to say this with confidence, but her voice is slightly shaky. Nonetheless, Dean turns and exits the building.

"Why won't you leave me alone? You won't go away!"

"Rory." This isn't how Jess expected this to go, but Dean's presence has thrown him, and he has trouble remembering the exact words that he had planned to say.

"What do you want?"

"I don't know." That's not the truth. He wants to be with Rory. Mentally, he kicks himself. He owes Rory the truth, so he's going to give her the truth. "I just wanted to see you, talk to you. I just…" He is running out of words.

"What?" That is all Rory can say, because she doesn't know how she feels. She remembers the pain from his first departure, to California. She remembers the shock from his declaration of love from his last visit to Stars Hollow. She is unsure how she wants this to go, so she decides that she will wait it out and see what he has to say.

"Come with me," Jess says. Rory is stunned, and even Jess is surprised. He didn't plan to say that, but it came out on its own. He cannot back down from it now though.

"What?" This "what" is full of shock and Rory's inability to put her feelings into words. He has just asked her to come with him, and she knows that what he is asking is to go to more than a coffee shop, much more.

"Come with me," Jess repeats. He does not know what to add to this statement.

"Where?" Jess begs his mind to come up with a destination, but he is unprepared for this question, much like he was unprepared for his own question.

"I don't know. Away!" Rory stares at him with wide eyes. He is asking her to leave everything she knows.

"Are you crazy?" Jess knows the answer is yes. He is crazy in love with her, but he feels that this is not the time to add that.

"Probably." This is as close as he can come to the yes. "Do it. Come with me. Don't think about it." Rory stares at him and begins to really think about what he is asking her. She can feel her heart stirring, but her head answers first.

"I can't do that," she says. She opens the door behind her and walks into her room.

"You don't think you can do it, but you can. You can do whatever you want." It is here that Rory knows he is wrong. She wants to do whatever she wants, but she is under the curse of the good girl. The good girl does not let her do whatever she wants. Instead, the good girl holds her in a prison that she has been trying to break free of ever since she met Jess. Rory's head and heart have been at war since she met Jess. They have both won battles, but in this battle, not even Rory knows which will win.

"It's not what I want." Is it what she wants? Rory doesn't know, for once again, the good girl is clouding her vision.

"It is. I know you," Jess says. This isn't how he wanted any of this to go. He still doesn't know how to say what he really wants to say.

"You don't know me!" This hurts Jess like a bullet to the heart. He knows her, but he knows the real Rory, the one that even she barely knows. He tries to sound reasonable, but his next words come out as a plea.

"Look, we'll go to New York. We'll work. We'll live together. We'll be together. It's what I want. It's what you want too." Still, Rory does not know what she wants. She can feel strings tugging at her heart, but her head saws at the strings with vigor.

"No!"

"I want to be with you but not here. Not this place, not Stars Hollow. We have to start new." Jess speaks total truth in this. He cannot stay, and he cannot return to Stars Hollow. Maybe someday, but not now.

"There's nothing to start!" Rory's heart won that battle, but her head stopped her from adding that nothing was ever truly ended.

"You're packed. Your stuff is all in boxes. It's perfect. You're ready, and I'm ready. I'm ready for this. You can count on me now. I know you couldn't count on me before, but you can now. You can." Jess's voice is one of desperation, but he speaks the truth.

Rory believes him and even agrees that it is perfect, but her head reasons that she cannot go, no matter what.

"No!"

"Look, you know we're supposed to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you two years ago, and you know it too. I know you do."

"No, no, no, no, no!" "No" is a word that Jess hates now. He sees his next words as his last hope, so he speaks deliberately and carefully.

"Don't say no just to make me stop talking or make me go away. Only say no if you really don't want to be with me."

For the first time, Rory does not reply instantly. Instead, she stares at him for what seems like an eternity. He can barely breathe. His chest hurts. The silence is killing him. It is driving a knife into his soul, and he knows, on some level, he will die if the silence continues.

Rory tries to take a deep breath. Her head is pleading desperately for her to say no, but her heart is fighting it like it's fighting for her life.

In a way, it is fighting for her life, because if she says yes, he will become her life, and she will become his.

If she says no, their lives will take different paths. Hers will take the safe path, the traveled path. His will take a path more similar to hers than she knows.

Her head is telling her to say no, but her heart will not allow her to open her mouth to form the word. She knows that she has to say something, but she doesn't know what to say.

"Jess," she whispers. He watches her carefully but knows that she is still trying to formulate a response.

"I can't go with you Jess." It takes all of his power to not bolt from the room. In some way, these words are different than "no." It is clear that they are not "yes," but they are not "no."

"Jess, stay with me." Even before the words are out of her mouth, she knows that this is impossible, but she knows that her heart is beginning to win the war. She wants some way to hold onto him.

"Rory, I can't stay. I'm not ready to stay. If I stay, I won't be able to stop myself from leaving again." Rory wants to tell him that she can stop him, but she knows this is not true.

"I'm not ready to go. I want to go Jess." Rory is surprised that she has said this, but she believes that it is true. Maybe Jess was right. Maybe he does know her, because he does not look surprised. "I really do want to go, but I can't. If I go, I'll regret it. I know I will."

This is the first thing that Rory is sure of. Jess knows that she is right, and he doesn't want to be the source of her regret.

"I love you." Jess says this quietly, but Rory knows that he means it. She also knows that she can't help but love him too. He deserves to hear it, even if they cannot be together.

"I love you too." As happy as this should make Jess, it only saddens him. They share a special love; one that some people will never experience. They share true love, and they both know that it will never die. Jess and Rory have both tried to kill it, ignore it, and push it away, but it keeps coming back to them.

Jess and Rory sigh at the same time. They stare at each other. Neither one knows what to say. He cannot stay, and she cannot go. This should be the end. They should part ways now to ease the breaking of their hearts but neither can move. The electricity in the room is playing with Jess's head and Rory's heart.

In a lapse of control, Jess steps forward and captures Rory in a soft but passionate kiss. It is a kiss with that says 'I love you' better than words. Rory does not resist this gesture; she only returns it. They both come to a certain realization and pull apart together. They both want one night of the love that they share but cannot give in to. Jess doesn't have to ask Rory if she is ready, and Rory is surer than ever that she wants this to happen.

Without speaking, they walk to Rory's room together. Neither Jess nor Rory is leading. Their love is pulling them together, yet it is keeping them apart. All of that is forgotten in the confines of Rory's room, where they consummate their love.

Jess has always hated the term "making love." Until tonight, he feels that it is a stupid euphemism that people use. He has always felt that pansies who won't just say sex use the term. That is until tonight. Tonight, he understands the term. The word "sex" is too careless for what they are having. The word "sex" conveys passion and lust not love. That is not to say there is not passion and lust, but love beats all tonight.

Rory has always planned for her first time to be special, but she never expected it to be like this. She loved Dean, and she loves Jess, but she was never in love with Dean the way she is with Jess. Dean was her first love, but Jess is her first true love, and he will be her last.

Jess and Rory both know that they cannot be together, in body, after tonight. Still, there is a shared, unspoken promise that they will be together when they are both ready. That is not tonight, and neither knows when they will be ready, but they are both sure that there will be a time when they are both ready to be together. Not for a night, though tonight is a night that they will never forget, but for eternity. In some sense, they are already together for eternity and have been since they first met, but they want to be together in body.

What will transpire after tonight will be a true test of their love for each other, but Rory already knows that it will last. She knows that it will last forever. For this reason, Rory says yes when Jess asks her if she will wait for him. She is overjoyed when he says that he will wait for her. She trusts his words and knows that he has changed. He is not done changing, for if he was, he could stay, but they both know that he is still not ready to stay. Rory is changing too. She is finally breaking free of her prison for good, but it is a process in progress. If she was free of her prison, she could go, but they both know that she is still not ready to go.

In the morning, they are more accepting of the fact that she cannot go, and he cannot stay. They share a belief that their changes will be complete at the same time, and they will be brought together in some way.

Jess helps Rory load her stuff into her car. After they are done, they know that it is time for them to part ways, but they are both reluctant to do so.

"I love you," Jess whispers. Rory is getting more used to his whisper, a whisper that he uses only for her.

"I love you," she whispers back. They are both amazed that is so easy for them to share those words, but they are happy. Their happiness overrules their sadness of their separation, but they have decided that they will not cut off all communication. She has his cell phone number, and he has hers.

"I would tell you to send smoke signals, but you should stop smoking," Rory murmurs. This is her way of telling him to call.

"I'll send fruit baskets if you will," Jess says. This is his way of saying that he will. He blinks hard, and he and Rory are both surprised when a single tear rolls down his cheek. Rory begins to cry silently, and her first tear is followed by many more.

They have reached equality. Things have changed and will continue to do so from what they once were. Now, they will match each other step for step.

"I love you," Rory repeats.

"I love you," Jess says. They share a soft kiss, and then they know that they must go. It is time for Jess to drive 69 miles to New York, and it is time for Rory to drive 22.8 miles to Stars Hollow. They let go of each other's hands at the same time and then they climb into their respective cars.

It kills Jess to let go of Rory's hands, but he knows that this is the end of what once was and the beginning of what will be. He can't wait until they can be together in every way, but he also knows that he cannot force it.

Rory cries when they let go, but she knows that their future shines brightly. It is not a future without tarnish, but they will polish away the tarnish together. She is sad that they must part ways, but she is eagerly anticipating the day they will meet again.

Rory shuts her car door and stares down at the paper Jess has given her. Tears blur her vision as she reads his words.

Life and love are two different journeys. All people must find their way on both journeys. To love, we must live. One might assume that to live, we must love. For many, this is true to only a certain extent. For us, it is true to the core. We must follow our own paths of life, living because we love each other. Our love keeps us alive. I have loved you always; I love you today; I will love you forever. Our paths in life will lead to the path in love that we share. When we are together again, I will never let go. I would hold on today, but we both know that we must follow our own paths of life first.

Rory, I love you--Jess

Jess's writing speaks loudly to Rory. She can see knowledge in his writing that no school could ever impart. His words calm her, and she knows that she will reread them many times before they are ready to be together.

Jess does not start his car immediately. He glances over at Rory's car and knows that she is reading his letter. His attention turns to the letter in his own hands, the letter that still holds Rory's scent.

I never thought that I would be here with you again. I thought we were done. I thought that I would never see you again. I thought I didn't love you. I thought wrong. I know why you left and didn't say goodbye. I know why you can't stay and why I can't go. I know that I will love you forever. Love brought us together once, and I trust that it will bring us together again. Until then, know that I love you for you, and I will love you forever--Rory

Jess almost feels like crying, but he hasn't changed that much. He takes a deep breath and looks at Rory again.

Their eyes meet, and they know that they are ready to leave. They pull away at the same time, but they are unafraid of what the future will bring. Their bond of love will only grow stronger from whatever the future brings. They aren't sure about everything the future will bring, but they know it will bring their eternal love.

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A/N: Whew! I have so many thoughts about this story, so I'm going to put them in bullets.

--Unlike some of my (unpublished) other stories, I wrote this in one night. What you see is the result of four straight hours of work, so I hope it was worth it. The inspiration and words were just… there. I hope it was different than other stories you've read. I know it was nothing like the other stories that I have written. I know there wasn't a lot of dialogue, but I thought that a lot of dialogue would take away from the desired effect. I also have the feeling that I repeated a lot of ideas and thoughts, but the words were just flowing out, so I just let the story write itself. Everything really just clicked, and I'm going to go with what I have here.

--I know this makes me a bad writer, but I did not proofread very closely, so let me know if you find any glaring mistakes.

--I have ideas for continuing this, but I'm not sure if I will be able to put the ideas into words. Should I continue? No promises there, but I'd really like to add to this.

--I need another title; I don't think the current title gives this story justice. I also need a title for this chapter (if it becomes an extended story).

Okay, there are my notes on this story. Let me know what you think. Any comments are great, but it will help me in the future if you let me know what was good/bad, etc. Thanks--till next time, Kellie