I don't Own JtHM or any of his associates, That belongs to Jhonen Vasquez. (Who is living proof that insanity is not ALWAYS completely bad)
I don't OWN the Grinch, or Whoville. That belongs to Dr. Seuss. (Again, crazy.)
Most of the people in the city of Whovopolis liked Christmas. Some of them were Jewish, so they didn't, obviously. Some were atheists, and they were feeling a little left out, what with all the jolliness, but we don't care about them.
No, we are focusing on one severely disturbed individual who lives just noth of Whovopolis. This young man's name is Johnny C. Or, to those he likes, Nny.
Nny hated Christmas, the whole Christmas season! Please don't ask why, no one quite knows the reason. It could be the glaring lights, trying to blind him as he drove at night, or it could be all the fake Santas, pestering him for change.
But I believe the reason is quite simple. He had no one to spend the holiday with. Well, exept two delusions made of Styrofoam. But who wants to spend Christmas being pestered to kill?
Anywho, whatever the reason, Nny hated the holiday. He was particularly moody for a whole month, and more people than were necessary met gruesome ends. He stood there today, on the edge of a dropoff, talking to the Styrofoam, and hating the people.
He looked down at the city, all the people moving around like tiny ants.
But he knew evry person in Whovopolis was hanging a wreath, or putting up a tree. "And they're hanging their stockings!' He hissed with a frown. (Which the Styrofoam boys enjoyed to no end.) "Tomarrow is Christmas, it's practicly here!" He growled, his finger's nervously drumming.
"I must find a way to keep Christmas from coming! I can see it now. All the stupid kids will wake up nice and early, tearing into their presents, signs of a religious holiday gone sour! They'll open them up, and then, oh, the noise!" He imagined the next morning with all the joy of a pessimist.
"Out they'll come, with all their shrieking, whining toys! Honk, honk, and squeak, squeak! They'll run up and down the sidewalks, yelling and screaming! Oh, I can't STAND THE NOISE!!!" Psycho and Mr. Eff leered. Johnny was upset. That was always good.
"Then they'll all get together, they'll go around, caroling, singing, and when they're done with THAT. When they're done with that, they'll all sit down o Christmas dinner. They'll have their turkeys, and puddings, and cookies. Their candy canes and sugar. And they'll feast, and feast, and FEAST!" He sat back on the seat of his car, and pondered.
"You must stop this whole thing!" Said Eff. "Why, for twenty-three years you've put up with it now, You must stop Christmas from coming!"
"But how?"
And then Johnny got an idea. An awful idea. Nny got a wonderful, awful idea. He revved up the car, intending to drive back to his house. Then something hit him, like a dead elephant falling from the sky.
"I'm not twenty-three." He said to Eff.
"My god you're stupid."
Back at house 777, Nny was almost done with his project. He had made a Santa Clause hat and coat. Exept the only fabric he had was black, and he had to hold it together with duct tape BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT!
"What a great evil trick! With this hat and this coat, I look just like St. Nick!"
"No you don't." Said Psycho, confused.
"Shut up!" Screeched Eff, elbowing him. Nny didn't notice.
"All I need is a reindeer." He mused.
"You don't need reindeer, you have a car." Said Psycho. Nny just looked at the two doughboys thoughtfully.
Fifteen minutes later:
"You idiot." said Psycho, looking over at Eff. "You had to get him going, didn't you! You have to keep Christmas from coming!" He mimicked. "Well, you've done it now!"
Eff didn't reply. He was closing his eyes tightly, trying to put himself somewhere other than here. Here, duct-taped to the front of Nny's car, with fake antlers taped to his head.
Nny stuck his head out the window. "GIDDYUP!" He yelled, giggling. Then he started the car, pulling it out of the driveway. They drove to house 775.
"This is the first stop!" He announced.
"WHY DID YOU DRIVE US FOUR FEET?!!" Shreiked Eff. Nny smacked him.
"Shut up! You'll wake them!" Then Nny climbed up onto the roof. And dropped down through the chimney.
"The front door was open." Said Eff.
"Just shut up." Said Psycho. "I think that's not the point. Nny's a little crazier than normal today."
A shattering sound erupted from the house as Nny tried to throw things up the chimney. It wasn't working. So he opted just to throw the presents out the window, glass and all. It never stopped him at home. Somehow, the house's inhabitants did not wake up as Nny loaded all their stuff into his car.. And drove next door to do the same thing.
"It'd gonna be a loooooong night." Said Eff.
To be continued
CHRISTMAS BREAK I GOT ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD!! THE CRAZYNESS EXPLODES FROM ME!!!! WAHOO!!! Reveiw!