Chapter Ten: Hangin' By A Moment

Desperate for changing,
Starving for truth.
Closer where I started
Chasing after you.

Robin sighed; Everywhere he had looked was everywhere she wasn't. Raven was clearly avoiding him- Not that he could blame her. Who could? She put everything she had into loving a guy who just turned out to be some murderer... I couldn't even keep my promises...

He let his eyes fall over the tower, sadness etched into them. It's so close to the place where we used to stand and talk... So close to the place where we became a team, lost the team... Struggled for reform, lost each other... Messed up...

The thought struck him hard. My whole life has been here... My life as a leader, a commander, a worthwhile person, and now as nothing... It's like Slade said, I'm not a hero. I'm living in a delusion where I keep coming back to the same point... But why?

Confused and alone, Robin continued to slosh along the muddy ground, looking for any sign of Raven, anything at all that could have lead them back together. However, he got nothing but a gradually more cold leg and a sinking heart. He dropped to his knee in silence and exastusion.

"There is no such thing as a hero. I let Slade win... I let Slade rob me of everything important to me, and everything's changed so much..." Robin gasped for breath sadly, trying not to cry.

A hand slowly came down on his shoulder, gentle and uncaring. "If you're so desperate, why can't you just talk to me?" He knew who it was, and he reached back to take her hand, shocked that she pulled him to his feet and out of the mud. "You can't do this to yourself..."

I'm falling even more in love with you,
Letting go of all I've held onto.
I'm standing here until you make me move,
I'm hanging by a moment here with you.

Forgetting all I'm lacking,
Completely incomplete.
I'll take your invitation,
You take all of me.

Now... I'm falling even more in love with you,
Letting go of all I've held onto.
I'm standing here until you make me move,
I'm hanging by a moment here with you.

Robin leaned against her in spite of himself, resting against her as they started to move away from the rut his knees has . "Raven..."

"Don't talk." The commands came from her lips softly, slowly and reassuringly despite everything going on. Arm around him, she guided him toward the tower. However, he grabbed her hand and sank down in the dirt, and Raven slowly followed suit to sit down next to him.

"How long have you been outside in the rain?" He asked her.

"It matters not. Robin... You have to stop beating yourself up. Please... When I saw you like that, I thought you might already be gone from me... I don't hate you, I just wanted time to be by myself..." She paused, holding onto his hand silently. "What happened doesn't make you a bad person."

It almost sounded like a desperate invitation. Believe me, her voice seemed to say. Give up and belive me when I say everything will be all right. I want to, he thought. I want to more than anything in the world, Raven... But I can't.

"How can I not be a bad person? Look at what I did, Raven! Look at everything I've done!" He pulled away from her and, unexpectedly and with more force than expected, he stood up. "I know you want to believe I'm a good person... But I'm just not. I lost it, and I hurt everyone..."

Raven paused for a second. "This isn't about what just happened, is it?" She said in her all-knowing way, and Robin shook his head. "This is about before... This is about last year..." She looked up at him and, trying to steady herself against the wall, stood. "Do you really think I would hate you after all this time?"

Robin didn't answer, mind reeling, heart heavy. "You have every right to hate me," he replied. "I hate myself. I hurt you, and then I abandoned you. Like it didn't even matter. I went off to try to find another idenity... And when I came back to try to set things right, I kill someone!"

Raven paused for a second. "...So?"

"Raven, you don't get it, do you?" He asked.

"I understand, Robin... I just don't care. Everything you've said and done doesn't change anything between us. If anything, it's just made us stronger. You have to trust me... You just have to believe me on this one. You'll heal, and we'll protect this city together." She reached out her hand for his, glancing into his eyes as far as his mask would allow. "What do you say?"

I'm living for the only thingI know,
I'm running and not quite sure where to go.
Idon't know what I'm diving into,
Just hanging by a moment here with you.

There's nothing else to lose,
Nothing left to find.
There's nothing in the world,
That could change my mind.
There is nothing else,
There is nothing else...

She's forgiving me... He was full of a numb shock, almost disbelif. "You're too nice for your own good, Raven," he whispered as he extended his green-gloved hand to touch hers lightly, feeling her fingers close around his as she refused to look away.

"Does it really matter? You're obviously not going to forgive yourself," she replied, standing close to him as the rain picked up again. "You just need to let go, Robin. Everything that's occured doesn't matter."

"I'm still a murderer. I've still hurt people... Slade was right about me all along."

"You're going to let him get to you? After everything that's happened?" She pulled her hand away from his now and folded her arms around her chest. "Slade is gone, Robin. Accept it and forget what he said."

"He was right, Raven. I'm not a hero. I've hurt people and... I've hurt you."

"Then he was also right when he said love couldn't save me, I suppose?" Pain came to her eyes. "He was right when he made the point that I'm just like my father, doomed to kill and destroy everything and everyone I've loved, and that I'll never come to have anyone in my life I would die for?" Her voice heated with emotion with every word she spoke and her eyes shimmered with the strange pain.

"Raven, you know I didn't mean..." He moved closer, only to have her step back.

"It's not worth it if I'm just going to keep running away from everything, especially if I'm not sure where to run. If I can't run to the hero I love because I can't run and he's not a hero, then what do I have left?"

"Raven... There's nothing in the world that could make me change my mind about you." He paused. "You are a good person. When are you going to understand Slade was wrong about you?"

"When are you going to understand Slade was wrong about you?" She challenged, moving back against him in spite of herself and wrapping him in her arms. "When are you going to let everything be the way it was again?"

I really don't know what I'm getting into here...

Desperate for changing,
Starving for truth.
Closer whereI started,
Chasing after you.

I'm falling even more in love with you,
Letting go of all I've held onto.
I'm standing here until you make me move,
I'm hanging by a moment here with you.

"You know I'd like to believe that. But the way I felt back there... Like my mind was numb, like it was worth it to actually hurt someone... I'm afraid. What if I become like that again? What if I hurt you, or Starfire, or Beast Boy, or Cyborg, or...?"

"It doesn't mean you're an uncaring person," she said, gently wrapping an arm around his shoulder. "You justlost your cool for a little bit, it doesn't mean you're a bad person." Her voice never changed, and Robin almost couldn't tell what she was thinking.

"You're right," he consented finally, leanin against her, and they were silent for several minutes.

"Raven?"

"Yes?"

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too, Robin."

"I'm not going to let go of this," he whispered. "I'm not going to leave again. I'm going to be the kind of leader you all think I am." He watched a smile come over her face.

"I'm glad you finally understand that." Several more seconds passed in silence, although it was not uncomfortable or awkward. "It's been a long time... Do you want to go back inside?"

"We might as well. We've got a lot to do," he replied with a smile as she took his hand.

"Wait... I have a question to ask you first," Raven said, although she was shivering from cold and her face was drawn tightly from being outside too long.

I'm living for the only thing I know,
I'm running and not quite sure where to go.
I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you.

Just hanging by a moment.
Hanging by a moment.
Hanging by a moment...
Hanging by a moment here with you.

"What, Raven?" Robin asked, turning to look at her in mid-stride. She had stopped, still holding onto his hand, and, despite her smile, she still looked cold and rather lost. What if she wants to tell me to back off, or that we should just be friends, or...? His mind raced with all the possiblities of things that she could say- And so he was rather taken aback when she actually asked her question.

"Are you going to try to become Dick Grayson and leave us again, or is the Robin I've missed and loved all this time back?" While he gripped with his memory, she moved forward, releasing his hand only when she was extrememly close to him.

I didn't mean to hurt her... However, his throat was tight and closed, and he couldn't get the words out. Even as he stood there trying, however, her hands came up to first touch his mask lightly, then find his carefully tied knot and begin to work at undoing it.

Normally Robin might have resisted, shoved her hands away or told her to get off, but between the way her hands felt against his skin- Cool and yet alive- and the way her eyes looked- painfully haunting- he could not bring himself to turn away. The water came in contact with his eyes and he blinked- He was now looking directly into her intense violet eyes clearly for the second time ever.

"Do you know where you're going this time? Or are you going to run away from us again?" She held the mask between her thumb and forefinger and stared him down. "Are you going to leave all you've known for an unknown fate? Or will you promise me, in this moment, that you won't run away again?"

He blinked his brillent blue eyes once, twice, and then stared back at her. "I promise... I'm going to stay here with you forever. I'm Robin; Dick is a broken identity."

She hugged him. "Okay, that's what I wanted to hear." And with that, she shreaded the mask with her mind. "You won't need that anymore, Robin. You hid your idenity with it... But if it's gone, what have you to fear?"

He reached over and took one of the pieces. "I think I'd like to keep it," he whispered, and she nodded with understanding. The two of them began to go back toward the Tower, understanding flooding between them.

"Robin..."

Another question? "Yes Raven?'

"Nothing... I just like to say the name of my hero," she replied with a smile.

"I'm not the only hero," she whispered, and he smiled and pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her waist as she brought her arms up to his shoulders. The kiss lasted several minutes, and when they pulled apart it was with smiles, Raven snuggling close to his side as they walked up to the tower.

"Slade was wrong," Raven said suddenly. "Love really will save me." Robin smiled- Even if he didn't understand the statement, it obviously set her mind at peace. "I love you, Raven," he replied, and her face responded clearly enough to that.

I'm a hero, he found himself thinking.

They stopped on the thresehold and watched the rain fall for a moment, then turned to head inside, to where they lived, to where everything would be waiting for them. "The home of a hero..."

"And I'll be right here whenever something goes wrong," Raven assured him quietly, talking his hand as they stepped inside Titan's Tower.

Life and love awaited them, but no moment would be too hard for two heros to pull through.

...END...

Song: Hangin' By A Moment by Lifehouse. Thank you to all those of you who have loved this story, read it, critizized it, and of course, helped me toward my goal of becoming an author. I'm glad to have been able to entertain you in at least some way.

I hope to continue to hear from you in reviews. They mean the world to me.

And Chris... Well, I hope you liked this story as much as anybody, since it was for you.

-Goddess

Started: 12/19/04
Completed: 10/10/05