You never felt anything. That is what you would have everyone believe anyway. Your lifetime was spent building walls. Walls that would guard you, walls that would protect you and walls that would eventually trap you. You were so practiced in the art of trickery that even those closest to you never saw that it was all a game. Your sad little game that would keep you alive while taking their beatings, beatings delivered in the guise of family honor, and sacrifice for the greater good. How they destroyed the only girl I ever loved I will never know, and how I will go on for the rest of my days living with the emptiness in my heart will remain a lasting mystery.

For so long you hovered just beyond my reach, a precious jewel encased behind glass never to be touched; but your eyes always held me with their once striking, emerald depths. How you taunted me! Never offering a smile or kind word, but the moment their backs were turned, grasped my hand and pulled me away. You turned almost frantic, like a scared child, pulling me through dark and ancient corridors as I grumbled my complaints. I never admitted that my heart was surging from your touch. I can see you still, bursting forth from the pitch-blackness of that musty servant's entrance to break free into the perfect silence of falling snow.

I lost grip of your small hand, and could only watch as you pressed forward to the cliff's edge, your ebony hair unfurled in wicked contrast to the absence of color in the world. I stood and watched, knowing your intentions and afraid to stand in your way, afraid to reveal for a moment that I cared, much in the same way that I stood aside and watched the day that he took you from me for all time. I watched you then, hoping that it would be like those days back in the old family manor, that you would walk to the brink of the cliffs, letting your toes slip over the icy edge.

You finally turned to me just before I found my strength to call you back--to call you away from the dangers in your path. You turned as if you knew, as if you could hear my heart screaming for you to come take my hand once more. If you ever heard my heart you never let on, as your soft lips rounded into a weak yet proud smile. You walked back to safety just to face me with the confidence of a king.

Resisting you was futile, that was no secret; although as a young and foolish boy I had hoped for a moment to make you mine. I never dreamed that with every glance, with every touch you were making me yours for all time. The feel of your body slipping against me, your cold lips pressed to mine, tasting the air you were breathing in. I know I won't forget a thing, my hand gripping your back and pulling you too me, imagining that breaking from your kiss would mean death.

And death it was too be, for so many times did you lead me blindly into some dark corner to press your satin skin against my own; to poison my very soul to think of no one else but you so that I would follow you into a life of servitude, where the true master over my heart was you. My heart that died the day I watched you give your life and hand to someone else without a backward glance. Watching you walk down that aisle was like watching you step to the edge of the cliffs--only this time there would be no reprieve from your inelegant smile. I stood by, my heart crying out louder than it ever had, begging you to hear. The sting of the tears in my eyes and pain in my jaw from biting back my own screams of utter heartbroken betrayal will never cease to haunt me. But on you marched with your regal determination, deaf to my cries and blind to my love. You never felt anything. Still, I'll love whatever you become and forget the reckless things we've done.

I followed my heart, and you followed your destiny. What strange pawns we became in a sad little game.