Murphy's Law
By Iridal
The idea seemed like a good one at the time...
It was barely a month after the defeat of Sephiroth and JENOVA, and word had funneled to the information gurus known as the former Turks that strange new materia were being found in the vicinity of the Mt. Nibel reactor. Bored out of his mind now that the chaotic world he once lived in actually calmed down, and itching for some action, Reno of the Turks instantly volunteered. The idea of getting out of dreary Midgar and doing a little snooping had put him in such a good mood, he even shared the info with the ever-annoying Yuffie, if only to lord it over the self-proclaimed Materia hunter that he was checking out something she could only hope to find.
Looking back, the thought of bragging to her wasn't such a good idea...but it did shut her up for once...or so it seemed. It wasn't until he stopped at the last gas station for miles to refuel and opened his trunk did the Turk realize he had a stowaway.
"Yuffie?! What the hell are you doing in my car?"
She gave him a wide smile and what she hoped was her best puppy dog eyes, conveniently forgetting she was curled up in the man's tiny trunk just moments before. "I wanna go see this new materia you told me about! Please Reno?"
The red-haired Turk just folded his arms, his expression clearly saying he wasn't moved in the slightest. "No Yuffie. Go home."
Her cute, hopeful look vanished. "Dammit Reno! Why should you be the one to see this, huh? Gawd, I'm the materia expert around here, and I, of all people, should see it to make sure it doesn't get into the wrong hands!"
"Exactly," he agreed pleasantly, "which is why you're not going. Go home, brat."
And now, an hour later, he found himself driving through suddenly crappy weather with the ninja girl happily playing with the radio dial and nattering on about how his sound system sucked because all she was getting was static. Reno could only stare out onto the road ahead of him, watching the fat snowflakes drop from the sky ever more frequently, and comfort himself with the fact that things could not get any worse.
It was at this point that Murphy's Law decided to reassert itself on the poor, unsuspecting Turk.
Intent on trying to ignore his irritating (albeit attractive) traveling companion, Reno accidentally skidded off the now-slushy road and buried his car in a snow bank, causing it to stall. Swearing fiercely under his breath, he wondered inanely if charging up his Electro-Rod and sticking it onto the car's dead battery would count as "jumping" it.
"Well kid, it looks like we'll have to do some walking...Nibelheim isn't that far away..."
"Walking?!" Her expression betrayed her shock. "Nibelheim is like, 3 miles away...at least!! Can't we just stay here in the car? Or better yet, you can go get help and I can stay here...?" Her eyes had a faint pleading look to them.
"No Yuffie," he said firmly. "The car won't have any heat without it running, and with the way this snow is falling, it'll be buried in a few hours. We'll never be found. We're better off braving the weather and walking to town."
"But, but...it's COLD out there!!"
He smirked and ran an appraising eye over her skimpy outfit. The only concession to the cold was that she had traded her short shorts for a pair of black pants. "Hey, you're the one who runs around in next to nothing, especially in THIS weather...not that I mind looking at it..." Chuckling to himself as he ducked a punch, Reno rummaged around in the backseat until he found an old, beat up overcoat, which he tossed to Yuffie. "Here ya go, brat...so you don't freeze your shuriken off."
Grumbling to herself and pulling on the oversized coat (which smelled faintly of cigarette smoke and had a broken zipper), she exited the car and followed Reno out into the snowy weather.
"Are we there yet, Reno?"
He sighed. "Does it LOOK like it, Yuffie?" His sardonic answer was met with silence...for the time being.
In the hour and a half in which they had been walking, things had only gotten worse. The gentle snowfall was working its way up to a full-fledged snowstorm, the temperature must have dropped at least 10 degrees, and Yuffie would NOT stop whining. Every other word out of her mouth was a complaint! She was cold. She was tired. She was bored. And she insisted on telling the Turk every chance she got. She conveniently forgot that she was the one wrapped up in a nice, dry, (relatively) warm overcoat, while he was still in his soaked blue suit, breaking a path through the waist high snow and struggling to resist the urge to shove his Electro Rod down her throat.
"I think you're lost."
"I am not!"
"You are, aren't you?" Her voice took on a slightly victorious tone. "Figures...I wouldn't expect less from a boozehound like you."
"Shut UP, brat." Reno paused beside a tree to catch his breath, his eyes glinting dangerously as he snuck a glance over his shoulder at her. "I don't see you doing anything to help our situation..."
Yuffie snorted. "Yeah right! YOU got us into this mess!"
"Bitch."
"Jackass."
"Brat!"
"Lush!!"
"I am NOT a lush!!" That was it. This trip was an unending series of disasters, and he refused to stand here and be insulted by this...this...chick! Reno swooped down and grabbed a fistful of snow, packing it into a ball and winging it in Yuffie's direction before she could open her mouth.
It caught her square in the nose, plastering across her entire face to cover it in slushy white snow. She could only stand there in shock, blinking away the snow from her eyes. The Turk broke out into laughter at her expression, then hastily dove behind the tree he had been leaning against as she moved to retaliate.
As soon as her back was turned - she leaned over for just an instant - he launched another attack, several snowballs hitting her in rapid succession...on her ass. Already off balance, the ninja girl windmilled her arms like crazy, but she toppled over into a nearby snowbank.
Reno blinked in surprise. He hadn't meant for THAT to happen... "Yuffie?!" He ran back to where she was, inserting a hand into the snowbank and hauling her out by the tail of her coat.
She didn't look good. The overcoat had opened on the way down, and the whole front of her clothes was soaked. "C-c-cold!!!!" Her lips were rapidly turning blue and she was shivering violently.
"Oh god! Are you alright?!"
"I-I'm f-fine, R-reno," she stuttered out.
"Yeah right. C'mon, kid," he said, gently pulling her back down the path. "You gotta keep moving, or you'll freeze out here." She merely nodded and stumbled after him.
They continued on, but the Turk could tell that things weren't good. Yuffie wasn't complaining at all - a sure sign that she failing fast - and she dropped back behind him so often that he spent more time waiting for her to catch up then breaking a path. Finally, she just gave up, falling to her knees there in the snow, forcing the now frantic Reno to carry her in his arms.
Reno looked around anxiously. The air was filled with white as huge, fat flakes came down, and the temperature was dropping by the minute. And here the two of them were, standing in this storm, both in sopping wet clothes - he from sweat and she from melted snow. They needed to find shelter...and fast, or they'd never survive this innocuous looking snowfall. No, this wasn't good at all.
Just then, the wind kicked up, blowing away the icy flakes to reveal a dark shape looming in the distance. Shelter.
Nearly tripping over his own feet in his haste as he scrambled toward their refuge, Reno plowed the through the snow with the barely conscious Yuffie in his arms. "We're almost outta this, kid...just a few more steps and we'll be safe and warm and we can wait out this goddamn blizzard..."
Soon, the black shape divulged itself to be a rather small cabin, worn with age and weather. The windows were all boarded up, a sign that whoever had once lived there did not now. Coming to a halt in front of the rickety old door, Reno kicked it open and hurried inside.
The interior looked even smaller than the exterior. The only light came from the chinks in the windows, exposing the dusty, heavily cobwebbed floor. A crumbling fireplace lay to the left of the door, and the only furniture left seemed to be two extremely fragile-looking wooden chairs. In fact, there didn't seem to be ANYTHING suitable for sleeping on - no bed, no couch, nothing that would shield them from the cold floor.
The only thing that even looked remotely possible was a single, grungy rug on the floor before the fireplace, and a single, woolen blanket.
"$&(*% great," Reno softly swore. The bundle in his arms stirred, a reminder that he couldn't just stand in the doorway gawking...they needed to get warm.
Laying Yuffie down on the rug, the Turk took stock of the situation. Snow was incrusted all the way up to the thighs of her pants, and her clothing was soaked. Unless he got her out of her wet garments and warmed her up, she'd definitely freeze to death.
Oh, she's gonna kill me when she wakes up, he thought as he undid her pants. Tossing them to the side, he rubbed her half-frozen legs in an attempt to warm her. Tentatively, he began to undo the buttons on her shirt. When her shirt was off, he covered her with the blanket and turned his attention to the fireplace.
Within moments, the chairs were reduced to kindling, and with the help of a spell from a Fire materia on his Electro Rod, a fire burned merrily in the hearth.
"And I'm still @#^(!$ cold..." He looked at Yuffie, who was sleeping peacefully under the blanket, and then down at his clothes, which were soaked with sweat and covered in snow. Yup, she's definitely gonna kick my ass when she wakes up, he thought stoically as he divested himself of shirt, pants, and coat. Slipping under the blanket beside her, and bringing his Rod along with him for protection - even though he left Conformer by the door, he still feared her reaction to the circumstances - he curled around her. Finally able to relax a bit, he drifted off into a catnap.
Hours later, the little ninja girl woke to a beam of light right in her eyes. Squinting against the glare, she surveyed the surroundings. From where she was facing, a tiny fire burned in a fireplace of a dark, dank room. It appeared she was lying on the floor and, as she peeked under the blanket, she was stripped down to her underwear. Then there was that disturbingly warm presence at her back...
"Before you open your mouth to bitch at me, everything I did was necessary," a lazy sounding voice murmured by her ear. Reno. "You passed out in that blizzard we were walking through, but luckily, this cabin was here."
"Hmph...if you hadn't of hit me with those snowballs and pushed me into the snowbank, I wouldn't of passed out!"
"Yeah well, I feel bad about that, but I did save your ass..." Reno sounded distinctly uncomfortable. "Why don't we just call it even and leave it at that?"
"Fine." That said, he settled himself around her with a sigh, prepared to sleep away the storm. Yuffie tensed for a moment as he dared to lay an arm around her waist. "Reno, that better be your Electro Rod poking me, or you are SO dead!"
"Oh, shut up and go to sleep, Yuffie." His voice changed from exasperation to one of amusement. "Besides, you know you like it..."
"Gawd! Low-life!!"
"Urchin."
The winter wind howled on outside the thin walls of the rickety cabin, but the two travelers, the Turk and the Materia hunter, fell asleep warm and content.