I had only intended to just write that one story of Narugami and Loki, but when Tangerine-asuka suggested that I add Heimdall and Freyr into it, the gears in my head started turning and it resulted in another short chapter.
So, Tangerine-asuka this chapter is pretty much your fault.
Crowds that are constantly pushing, shoving and poking are always annoying and during the Christmas season, this increased by 100 percent, which was why Heimdall loathed shopping, especially at the mall.
He was almost knocked over as a woman rushed to get the last hat on sale. Heimdall growled. "Dammit, Freyr! Aren't we done yet?!"
Freyr hummed to himself as he checked his list with a cluster of packages sitting at his feet. "No. There's a huge sale on clementines and eggnog."
"And we're getting these things because?"
"It's a bargain!"
Heimdall groaned. Maybe for Christmas, he should sign up Freyr for one of those shopaholic support groups.
Suddenly, Freyr spun Heimdall around.
"Freyr?!"
"Look Heimdall!"
Heimdall looked to where his sales crazed companion pointed. A long line of children were waiting in line to see the mall Santa. "They're just brats! So?"
"Look closer!" Freyr insisted.
Heimdall grumbled in annoyance. What was the big deal? It was just some idiot dressed as Santa……who looked a lot like Narugami.
A loud laugh followed his realization. The mighty thunder god was pretending to be Santa! This was priceless!
"I know that guy's desperate for jobs, but to……"
"That's not what Freyr's pointing at!"
Heimdall was now ready to pull his hair out. "Then what?!"
Freyr grinned like he had uncovered a buried treasure chest. "Look at what he gives to those kids."
Heimdall looked again and sweat-dropped. "Coupons!! That's what you've been yelling like a manic about?!"
Freyr's eyes sparkled full of hope. "50 off at the barber shop and the ice cream parlor!"
"Oh brother….."
"Freyr wants those coupons!"
Heimdall froze. He had THAT feeling. That dreaded, stomach knotting feeling he had right before Freyr asked him to do something undignified and humiliating.
"Heimdall please get Freyr those coupons!"
"They only give them out to kids!"
"But you look like one!"
"Forget it!"
In all the time Heimdall had lived, no one had mastered the fearful puppy-eyed pleading look as Freyr had. "PLEASE!!"
Narugami gave the boy the coupons and eased back into his throne. This job wasn't so awful. Most of the kids were easy to handle. The only major problem he'd encountered was Loki.
He twitched at the memory, but calmed himself. No point fuming about it. It was over and no kid could be worse than Loki.
He heard the approaching steps of the next child.
"Hi there!" Narugami greeted without looking.
"Just give me the stupid coupons."
"Hey! That's no way for….." He had actually looked. "Heimdall!!"
The guardsman glared. "Yes it's me and if you tell Loki I swear I'll have my hawk peck your eyes out!"
Narugami sighed and sweat-dropped. First Loki, now Heimdall? Whatever happened to this job being easy?
The thunder god attempted to smile. He couldn't break out of character because of this. His job depended on it. "Alright little boy, sit on my lap and….."
The mention of his lap sent Narugami a dangerous glare. If he put Heimdall on his lap, there was going to be a murder.
"Er…we'll skip that part…"
"Just give me the coupons!" Heimdall growled.
Narugami showed his own glare.
"Look! I can only give those to kids once they tell me what they want for Christmas!"
Heimdall smirked. "Fine! Here's my wish list. I want my eye back…"
"Like that's not obvious." Narugami grumbled. That's all Heimdall ever asked for. On an obsession level.
"And a paintball gun!"
Narugami blinked. He wasn't expecting that. "Why do you want a paintball gun?"
"So I can use Loki for target practice! Now give me those coupons!"
Narugami's vein in his forehead throbbed. He then thought of another plan. He might as well take a page from Loki's book.
He smiled evilly. "Sure Heimdall! I'll even throw in an extra one of the new coupons I just got."
"Bout time!"
The guardsman snatched the coupons and never bothered to give a second thought at the evil chuckle heard from Narugami.
Freyr jumped for joy. "Thank you! Thank you!"
"Yeah, yeah, but I'm never doing that again!"
Freyr took the coupons and happily examined them, but at the last coupon he frowned. "Heimdall….."
"Yes?"
"Where did you get this extra one from?"
"That idiot gave it to me."
"You haven't actually looked at it yet have you?"
"No. Why?" Freyr showed the coupon to him.
The coupon was good for one free eye patch at the costume store.
In a heartbeat, Heimdall gaped and then was ready to explode and take his rage on just about anyone who said the next stupid comment.
Freyr looked at the coupon and mindlessly said. "I wonder if we can find one to match your hair?"
Heimdall's victim was found.
Author's Note: Torturing Heimdall is fun! I hope other people find this as funny as I think it is. I probably won't write another chapter, but you never know.